Season 1 Episode 5 – Part 5 / Я ждал это время, и вот это время пришло
(Grigori’s memorial dinner – Talking with Alexei)
During the memorial dinner, Alexei keeps staring at Ilya. At some point, trying to get a break from it all, Ilya walks to the back of the restaurant. But there’s no rest for him – Alexei follows.
31:32 (Alexei): Хватит, блядь, меня избегать. KHVA-tit, blyat’, mye-NYA iz-bye-GAT’. Subtitles: “Stop fucking avoiding me.”
Nice to see you, too, Alexei. Russian and English obscenities are nicely aligned here. When Alexei puts блядь right in the middle of the sentence, it adds accusation and anger. He isn’t just swearing for emphasis.
31:35 (Ilya): Если бы только это. YES-li by TOL’-ka E-ta. Subtitles: “If only.”
Ilya basically acknowledges that he has been avoiding this brother. While saying at the same time that this is hardly the only issue they have. “If only it were just that.”
31:41 (Alexei): Ну? nu? Subtitles: “So?”
It’s a prompt. A nudge. “Well?” Go on, tell me.
31:46 (Ilya): Что ну? shto nu? Subtitles: “So what?”
Ilya is refusing to play along. He knows exactly how to get a rise from his brother. Not for nothing is he a fantastic pest on ice. “What ‘well’?” Just say what you want to say.
Alexei can’t take it and gets physical.
31:48 (Ilya): Убери свои руки. u-bye-RI sva-I RU-ki. Subtitles: “Don’t fucking touch me.”
Ilya is yelling but his words are controlled. Not profane. But not polite either. “Take your hands off.”
31:54 (Alexei): Тогда расскажи мне свой план. tag-DA ras-ka-ZHI mnye svoy plan. Subtitles: “Then tell me the fucking plan.”
Alexei hushes Ilya so that the others at the dinner won’t hear them. And then he is just as restrained as Ilya. “Then tell me your plan.” The finger pointing, the quiet intimidation. The subtitles rely on obscenity to relay the threat. The Russian doesn’t need it.
31:57 (Ilya): Господи. GOS-pa-di. Subtitles: “Jesus Christ.”
Something I’ve been ignoring. Господи isn’t technically “Jesus Christ.” It’s the vocative of Господь – “Lord” or “God” – and in modern Russian mostly survives as an exclamation. You don’t have to be particularly religious to say it. It’s just very human. And slightly dramatic.
31:58 (Ilya): Я еще не знаю, Алексей! Он только что умер. Дай мне прийти в себя. ya ye-SCHO nye ZNA-yu, a-lyek-SYEY! on TOL’-ka shto U-mer. day mnye pri-TI v sye-BYA. Subtitles: “I don’t know yet, Alexei! He just died. Can I get a minute to breathe?”
The idiom прийти в себя literally means “come to oneself.” It’s quieter and more internal than “get a minute to breathe.” Ilya isn’t asking for time. He’s asking to be allowed to recover. “I don’t know yet, Alexei! He just died. Let me collect myself.”
32:03 (Alexei): А я? А я что? Можно мне тоже минуту прийти в себя или нет? a ya? a ya shto? MOZH-na mnye TO-zhye mi-NU-tu PRI-ti v sye-BYA I-li nyet? Subtitles: “And me? What about me? Do I get to breathe too?”
Alexei throws the same phrase at Ilya. He is defensive and frustrated. And also vulnerable? “And me? What about me? Do I get a minute to collect myself too, or not?” And you almost feel bad for him despite the hint of accusation in that last или нет (“or not”).
32:10 (Alexei): Или это только для богатых пидоров, которые семьи свои бросают? I-li E-ta TOL’-ka dlya ba-GA-tykh PI-da-raf, ka-TO-ry-ye SEM’-i sva-I bra-SA-yut? Subtitles: “Or is that just something reserved for rich faggots who abandon their families?”
Okay, never mind. I don’t feel that bad for him. We heard him use a similar slur with contempt. But this – пидор – and at a funeral? He is weaponizing it.
This particular slur is a lot: vulgar, offensive, and ugly. And yes, it isn’t always a literal reference to a man’s sexual orientation. It can be aimed at his masculinity or his character. The subtitles make Alexei’s words explicitly homophobic. “Or is that only for rich fuckers who abandon their families?” would preserve more of the ugliness and contempt.
But then… Alexei could truly mean what the subtitles imply.
32:13 (Ilya): Я бросил? ya BRO-sil? Subtitles: “Abandoned?”
Ilya ignores the slur. That’s nothing new. But бросил lands. “I’m the one who abandoned?” This hurts.
32:14 (Ilya): На чьи деньги ты живешь, ты кусок дерьма? na ch’I DYEN’-gi ty zhy-VYOSH’, ty ku-SOK dyer’-MA? Subtitles: “Who’s (sic) money do you live on, you piece of shit?”
That insult? In Russian, it sounds weirdly literal, like it was translated word-for-word. And English, outside of grammatical error, could be improved. “Whose money do you live off, you piece of shit?” gets there better.
32:17 (Ilya): Кто кладет еду в твой грязный рот и кокаин в твой нос? kto kla-DYOT ye-DU v tvoy GRYAZ-nyy rot i ka-ka-IN v tvoy nos? Subtitles: “Who puts food in your mouth and coke up your nose?”
Кто кладет еду в твой грязный рот и кокаин в твой нос sounds like it was written in English first. It gets the meaning across, but it’s too literal. Russians would say something like Кто тебя кормит? – “Who feeds you?” Right to the point. More devastating. And I love that Ilya gets грязный рот – “filthy mouth” – in there: ‘Who puts food into your filthy mouth and cocaine up your nose?” Talk shit about me, dear brother? Get called out.
32:20 (Alexei): У меня ребенок! И жена там. И это я сидел с нашим отцом пять месяцев каждый божий день, пока он не умер. u me-NYA rye-BYO-nak! i zhe-NA tam. i E-ta ya si-DYEL s NA-shim a-TSOM pyat’ MYE-sya-tsev KAZH-dyy BO-zhyy dyen’, pa-KA on nye U-myer. Subtitles: “I have a child, Ilya! And a fucking wife! And me, I’ve spent the last five months taking care of our dying father every fucking day!”
Here it is. The crux of Alexei’s grievance. The you/me divide we saw earlier. “I have a child. And a wife over there. And it was me who sat with our father for five months, every single day, until he died.” What we hear from Alexei is resentment and exhaustion. Каждый божий день literally means “every godly day” but is idiomatic for “every single day”.
Five months of caregiving. A child. A wife. A lifestyle that depends entirely on his brother. And dad kept calling the son across the ocean.
It’s almost possible to feel sorry for Alexei. Even through all his awfulness.
Almost.