하루하루

Sw: 178 Cw: 139.8lbs UGW: 105lbs I do not endorse eating disorders. This blog is a reflection of myself, and I do not encourage anyone to follow what I'm doing. Don't take any posts here as advice, because I don't intend it to be so. Just leave me alone to rot in my corner of the internet. Please? If you want advice, I'm sorry but I can't help you. I refuse to advise people on how to starve themselves like I'm doing. If you want to vent about anything, I'll definitely listen. But don't expect any good advice from this socially awkward loser. I don't have any real friends, my family hates me, and I spend most of my time crying; so I highly doubt you want my opinion on anything.

[bonesofhumility]

nothing feels as good as the late night hunger<3

[defying-hunger]

4.10.23

Some days I feel so damn confident and proud of my weight loss, and other days I just want to kill myself for not being skinny enough.

[defying-hunger]

Gym mirrors make me look thinner than I am

[dumblr]

It breaks my heart knowing there are so many beautiful souls out there questioning their worth because someone they loved made them feel unloveable.

[feelingsoftheday]

In the mood to disappear for a while.

[viinnttaaggee]

stop being so forgiving, people know exactly what the fuck they’re doing

[defying-hunger]

3.14.23

My bf thinks I’m crazy because I spent the whole drive home complaining that I hadn’t eaten all day, only to go home, make a plate of salad, and toss the salad in the trash after taking one bite.

I just want to kill myself lol

[defying-hunger]

3.2.23

I ended up not eating yesterday, but I went to the gym anyway. I did okay, I just couldn’t lift as heavy or do as many reps as I could have since I was lightheaded and had no energy. Weighed in at 137.8lbs this morning, though, so that was nice. I want to stay under 140lbs and make my way back to the 120’s.

[defying-hunger]

3.1.23

At work and almost 20 hours into a fast. Typically I eat when I get home from work and go to the gym. Debating between eating a salad when I get home then going to the gym, or fasting all day and skipping the gym.

I won’t have enough energy for an effective workout if I don’t eat, but I’m scared if that if I lose weight then I’ll gain back even more when I do eat again. I’m so fucking tired of this. Why can’t I be normal?

[p3arl13gurl-deactivated20230701]

I almost got better there for a sec and ruined my progress, scary💀

[defying-hunger]

2.5.23

Felt like I was losing too much too quickly that I would gain back plus more, so I took the week to eat more to reset my metabolism and let my body adjust to this weight. Been wavering between 142-139 this week, currently at 141.2lbs. I’ve really just been adding more toppings to my salads to get more nutrience and doing a protein shake every day, so I haven’t really been bingeing, but my daily calorie intake has probably been close to 800 this week. Starting tomorrow I want to start restricting more again.

[defying-hunger]

1.21.23

Weighing in this morning at 138.6lbs. Ended up fasting for 45 hours because I was too depressed to eat. Broke the fast with a salad last night, though.

[broken-bon3s-deactivated2025051]

I'm actively excited at noticing my Ed habits are getting worse. What's wrong with me

[defying-hunger]

I hate when I’m fasting and someone wants to post food in the ana tags. Idc if it’s just a tiny plate of lettuce, I’m still triggered.

[defying-hunger]

It’s heartbreaking when the only person you trust enough to tell your problems to doesn’t give a fuck about your problems

[defying-hunger]

1.17.23

139.8lbs omfg I finally got under 140 🥹 nearly 40lbs lost since June 2022. I know I’m still fat, but I’m proud of myself for getting here. I still have a long way to go, though.

[defying-hunger]

1.16.23

Morning weigh-in of 140.8lbs. I worked out last night and had to force myself to drink half a protein shake with unsweetened almond milk (100). My bf also made me a salad with chips and hummus (cals unknown).

So close to the 130’s; my gw for the month is 135. Doing HIIT today then lifting weights.