i've got a fire in my soul

my name is delanie, but call me lanie. i've got a heart of silver, and a smile full of crimson. if you're not careful. i'll worm my way into your heart and split it in half.

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

I’ll be the tall, dark, and handsome one. You should’ve tried running away with me while they were drafting, then. Personally, I was headed for Australia. Bet they wouldn’t have caught me if I had a partner in crime. Wrong, she got Olaf and Marshmallow. Also now you’re just begging me to say ‘so how hot does it have to get to melt you?’. And it’s a damn infuriating shame, too. 

Mhm, it’s getting a whole page all to itself in my diary. Hm. Guess I’m not all too surprised. You always did give off a ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ vibe. 

[delanie-bristol]

I'm sure you won't be hard to miss. Australia, Morocco, America. I wouldn't have cared. I just like adventure. I want something different than this place. Not that I don't love Hogwarts or anything, but fighting in a war isn't exactly the way I want to live my life. Or staying in one place, either. Unfortunately my sister is a Gryffindor and she knew there was no way she was going in alone so, here I am. But they were just friends. There's a difference. And how do we know Marshmallow was a man? About 350 degrees, if you were wondering. I've gotten pickier in my old age, what can I say?

Wow, this must be important, then. I like that reference. Thank you for comparing me to Buffy. Now that's the way to win a girl's heart.

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Rest assured that I plan on it, sweetheart. Ah, I see. So which are you more afraid of, then? Being a shit mum or that this war might not end? Nah, there’s always going to be a guy. Every Disney movie says so. Yeah, well, it’s the only thing that ever manages to get ‘up’ around you— don’t take that away from me. 

Surprisingly, nothing. I’m very much a gentleman when there’s nothing gentle about the woman. And do you hate Commander Durand as much as everyone else? 

[delanie-bristol]

Good. I'll see you at the end of the line. A little bit of both. Being a mum is a helluva lot of responsibility and I'm selfish and I'd rather death not take me away before I've at least been to one other country. Good thing I'm not part of a Disney movie. Although, I do love them. And excuse you, Elsa didn't get a guy in Frozen. I'm the fuckin' ice queen. Many things manage to get up around me. You're just not one of them. 

Well, Adrian Van Buren is behaving himself. This should be in the greatest moments of history. Not exactly. He's an arsehole but he's doing what he has to do to get us ready. 

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, of course, I’m sure you’re very pro at getting clothes on. Which is why I’ll gladly take the duty of getting them off. So you’re never ever having kids? What a waste of genes. Holding you to that. 

Definitely. It’s such a nice arse. Lead the way, warrior princess. 

[delanie-bristol]

Gladly? Well there's a line. You may have to wait a while. Probably not. I'd feel like a shit mum for just letting them come here. And I doubt some lucky guy is gonna come along and change my mind. I said maybe, don't get your hopes up. 

Isn't it though? Right ahead. So besides being locked up behind bars, what else have you done to get on Dhami's bad side?

[marik97]

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Want me to kiss it better? That’s dumb. There’s always going to be a war about something. Always. Yeah, but I’m highly insecure. Very sensitive. Like a cute little puppy, really. I need constant support and assurances. 

So I’ve noticed. And thank you. See? I can have manners. Now let’s get out of here, quick, before Dhami sics her dragons on us. 

[delanie-bristol]

I'm a big tough girl. I can tie my own shoes and everything, so I think I'll be just fine. Exactly. I don't want to bring someone else into this shitty place. I'd rather help someone else who's already in it. Aw, that's kinda cute actually. Maybe I'll give you some treats later. 

I'm filled with pride, let me tell you. Definitely wouldn't want a dragon on my arse. Come on then. To the kitchens, yeah?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

And I thought you were smart. Looks like we’ve both proved each other wrong. Such a wonderful act reproducing is, too. We should do it more often. Mmm, apparently not everyone’s. 

I’ll reserve my judgement ‘til I see the cheese. Whyyyy are you so mean to me? Please, Lanie. Please my poor, wretched soul find freedom in both a metaphorical and literal sense. 

[delanie-bristol]

Ouch. That's a real sting to my ego. Ah, isn't it? But with the unfortunate war coming up, I wouldn't dare bring a child into it. Aw, don't give me the pouty face. Just because I'm not having sex with you doesn't mean I don't find you attractive. 

Fine, but let me tell you, it will blow you away. I take pleasure in seeing your pain. Aw, look. Now was that so hard? Bombarda. 

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Of course I am. There’s more than just this outer layer of unequivocal charm, wit, and physical attractiveness, you know. Yet another reason why those who believe that this is a ‘man’s world’ are in for a terrible surprise. See, now you’re just forcing me to want to compare notes. You and me, Bristol, we could really be on the verge of a dire sociological breakthrough here. 

Have you? I’m not sure if I’m terrified or proud of that. … You’re evil. Like, incomparably, undeniably, ridiculously evil. And I can think of, like, five different ways off the top of my head to get me begging that’s way more fun. 

[delanie-bristol]

Wow, really? I thought you were just a stereotypical teenage boy, with absolutely no depth and character. I suppose I was wrong. It's definitely not a man's world. We reproduce. There couldn't be man without woman. Maybe it's just because we're everyone's type. There, I've solved your sociological problems. 

You should be proud of my chef skills. I was put in Slytherin, I'll have you remember. Well, unfortunately none of those fantasies can happen while I'm over here and you're over there. So, magic word? 

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Well not with that attitude. Honestly, that’s your way’s probably better. I’ll admit that. I don’t know about girls though, but there’s literally a five second window from after the bra comes off that even thinking about thinking’s entirely shot. So yeah. It’s alright, I’ve yet to hear any complaints about my method anyways. 

Sometimes an empty stomach and fading hangover makes me a hypocrite. Oh, don’t be a tease. Takes a lot more than this to get me to saying ‘please’, princess in shining armor. 

[delanie-bristol]

You're a surprisingly positive person. It's chipper and strange, and I've yet to decide if I like it or not. Hm. Nope. Not exactly like that. Abs are about as close to an equivalent of breasts that we have, and even they aren't that distracting. And I've yet to hear any about mine.  

You haven't eaten yet? Alright then, a steamy bowl of mac n' cheese awaits you. I've been practicing. [Shrugging, she leans up against the opposite wall and pulls down her shirt a little bit leaning over with a grin.] We can do this all night, prince in distress.

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Hey, I’m here for nothing but bringing people joy and pleasure. I meant more on the lines of, yeah, it’s definitely going to be a life choice of mine to do her, but you’re wrong. I’m all for safe sex. And there’s nothing safer than at least knowing which bullcrap line will get you out of there the fastest in the morning. 

I make it a point to never say ‘never’. Mmm, and a plaque. You really think I’d still be here if the keys were in sight? Magic. She took my wand away, too. From what I can tell, she only put the basic protection charms. Just aim a bombarda at that rusty-looking bar, and we’ll be running off into the sunset in no time. 

[delanie-bristol]

It was probably what you were built for, honestly. Ah, right. I should've known. Although it is a choice, I doubt it's going to become a reality. That's why you think about it before you go in. I don't think you're thinking "shit how am I going to get out of here" while fucking someone. I mean, unless they're terrible at it. 

You just said never twice. Almost in a row, actually. Let us not forget the name tag. Good point. Alright, bombarda it is. I've already brought around the white horse. [She pulls out her wand and points it at the lock.] Oh, wait, since I am breaking you out of jail and all, what's the magic word? 

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Get me out of this cell, and I’ll gladly demonstrate the difference for you. Who says I’m breathing? You positively took all my breath away. She’s making me ‘think about my life choices’. Which, honestly, isn’t that far off from doing her I guess.

So you admit that you’re a diiirty girl? And I’m sure it only gets rougher. Fine, your loss. I can be super obedient when I want to be. Is that so? You’re going to break me out? My, my, that’s almost romantic. 

[delanie-bristol]

Godric, I almost sort-of missed your cheesy pick-up lines, if for no other reason but to give me a good laugh. I think that's probably the furthest from doing anyone. I don't think you're supposed to be thinking during sex. It's no fun that way. 

Sure. Too bad you'll never see me being dirty. Ugh, yeah, I am. You know me. Delanie Bristol: Hopeless Romantic. I should get business cards made. Did she leave keys around or am I going to have to use magic?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Um, excuse you. Knowing me it was probably some golden attempt at getting action from one of the commanders. I mean, she did keep me alive, right?

Never mind that though— aren’t you just a sight for sore eyes. You know, I’m feeling pretty weak at the moment. You could totally make me your prison bitch. 

[delanie-bristol]

Right, golden. How in the world could I get the two confused? And unless we're both dead, I would say you're still breathing. What's she making you do in place of doing her?

I try my best. I'm fuckin' disgusting from training, but I still manage to look like a queen. It's a rough life. I am so not going to make you my prison bitch. There is not a bone of my body that wants that to happen, even if there is one specific one in yours that would like it. I could help you back to your room though.

[delanie-bristol]

Ugh, and of course I can't sleep.

I miss my bed. I feel like we’re in a long distance relationship. 

[adrianvanbeautiful-blog]

Oh, come on. Is this really necessary?

This is so not what I had in mind when I told Commander Dhami to restrain me. 

[delanie-bristol]

Knowing you it was probably some idiotic attempt at getting action from one of the commanders. 

[delanie-bristol]

Ugh, late night dinners.

[justalbus-blog]

You too?

Except I just got off a broom. 

[delanie-bristol]

Unfortunately, yes. Although, these french fries taste brilliant right now. 

I sleep too much. After practice I literally just go straight to bed. 

[delanie-bristol]

Ugh, late night dinners.

Missed the actual time for dinner again. I should really stop sleeping so much.

[lisa-bristol]

It’s like a vegetable. It’s kinda like lettuce but darker, and it taste more like crap.

But supposedly it’s really good for you.

[delanie-bristol]

It tastes like crap and might be really good for you. Good. Got it. And you're eating it because?

[lisa-bristol]

This kale stuff still taste like shit.

It better be as good for me as Jason says or I will kick him.

[delanie-bristol]

... Kale? What the fuck is kale? It sounds like some sort of skin disease.