sycophanticvisionary
@spoiledmoments:
unsure of what to do with his hands once ryan’s removed the clothes he just balls them into a fist, his fingers clenching and relaxing as he’s touched. and then ryan leaves again and joe’s gaze is fixated on the back of his head, a longing smile passing between them once their eyes meet a final time. when ryan finally looks away, joe takes an involuntarily step forward and then stops when he realises there’s a choice to make.
a few hours ago ryan hated him and now he was openly inviting him back into — well, whatever they had been before everything had taken place. joe can’t recall ever conversing about the status of their relationship, nothing with official labels anyway, just that - on some level - they’d begun dating at some point and that along that line they’d both became mutually exclusive. it’s a comfort to know that nothing had changed, despite the initial resentment that’d taken place, and although he may just be retreating into the nostalgia of it all, he knows he’s unable to resist what ryan is offering.
joe removes his clothes, draping them over the sink before padding over to the shower. closing the glass door behind him, there’s a deep rooted uncertainty of how to progress from here but he takes a timid step forward anyway, hoping that he’s not overstepping the boundaries by crossing over ryan’s personal barrier. then again, the invitation had been extended and joe knows that if it gets too uncomfortable, ryan’ll just push him away and let him know. the fear of rejection still doesn’t hinder his motions, however, and less than a handful of seconds later he’s cocooning his body over ryan’s. with his head resting on the man’s shoulder he takes the hit of the water on his back, feeling more comfortable in that moment then he had in a while.
‘ thank you —- for coming back to me ’
This feels like the longest wait he’s ever done—longer than prison—only because Ryan doesn’t know for sure if Joe will come. He’s confident, but the part of himself that isn’t fills with doubt. Maybe Joe wants space after a vulnerable moment, too embarrassed to stay. Maybe Ryan’s imagining it when he notices the longing in Joe’s eyes. Maybe his own neediness is off-putting. So many negative maybes are squashed when the shower door slides open.
A soft exhale glides out of his mouth and his eyes close against the alleviating tide relaxing his shoulders. The beat of his heart slows to a normal pace. Ryan is hyperaware of Joe behind him. He’s a grand presence which comforts, especially once those arms wrap around him and the touch of Joe’s body sinks into Ryan’s back. It’s only then he realizes just how much he’s missed this. He craves this kind of intimacy, deserted during his stay in a cell. He’s subconsciously aware of his hands rising to grasp Joe’s forearms, his hold unbreakable, to remind himself this is real. It grounds him more than anything else ever has, all because it’s Joe. He feels better than the warm water rushing down on them.
“Thank you for accepting me back,” Ryan counters quietly, partially in disbelief. Joe isn’t aware he’s saving Ryan, but it’s in his eyes when Ryan gazes steadily at Joe.
Ryan leans into him and shifts his head at an angle so he can stare at this man who offers him a home, not just in a roof over his head, but also himself. Joe’s face is so close Ryan can almost tickle his nose on Joe’s beard. An impulse surges Ryan: He cups the man’s jaw as he lays lips upon his cheek, the kiss lingering longer than necessary. If he pulls back, Joe might disappear and he doesn’t want that. So Ryan holds on again, threads his fingers in sopping, thick, dark hair to anchor Joe to him and links his other hand with his, refusing to let go.