18

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who wanna play overwatch 2 and become friends and whatver.. . . .👉🙄👈

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i do feel better now, about being a "girl"

I think. It's like when i was younger, i thought i didn't 'deserve' to be a girl - girls are pretty, I am not so therefore it feels weird to be called that, in a self-pitiful way

maybe it is a gender thing. I'm not 18 anymore, I'm almost 22. A lot of things have happened since then, really bad things, good things. My mind is a bit clearer to me now.

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wish i could be there

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i need a therapist or psychiatrist at least, to see if i have add or if im just dumb and forgetful of very important things and it just takes me too long to do stuff because of somehting else...because im dumb

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i do feel confident about myself sometimes. my body. sometimes. rarely though. even rarer is when i feel pretty. actually pretty.

and my counter argument inside my head, since its a court and all that, is that i dont have to. similarly, i could just exist. who gives a shit about prettiness. but the world is built all around that. pretty/handsome and charismatic. that’s how you get your way.

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i imagine having a penis almost everyday at different intervals. is that normal?

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i only feel relieved when i convince myself momentarily, that i dont have to figure myself out, not really, i could just live. exist.

but it’s hard to be convinced when feeling like figuring yourself out is the solution to all this. the key to happiness. the fall of wasted potential

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i feel

i feel - that’s not me. is it me? it never was. I was always the guy. i want to be the boy. never felt right being the girl. for what reason? sexism ?

i dont want any of this.

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maybe i dont get to choose but i so desperately wish i could. what else is there besides life, what if its just nothing? and this is it? im not being the best i can be. its all wasted and for nothing, god i hope something comes after death, or mabybe i dont

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im a girl. why do i dread female pronouns so much when they are used on me? I feel disgusting even. I don’t wanna be trans. the world is so horrible to trans people

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its to get things off my chest without anyone actually seeing them. sure this is public, but the internets huge. but i do feel a bit of weight lifted off my chest, baggage that im putting somewhere else, off of me