A Childe x Lumine Fanfiction
"Memories and Goodbyes" Theme
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Thinking back on the past, Childe knows that this was inevitable.
He twirls the unusual flower pin on his hands, watching with a fond smile as it catches the golden light of the setting sun just right. The shifting shades of reflected yellow brings back memories of warm, honeyed gaze—usually emotionless but sometimes glinting with mischief, interest and dare he say it—with love.
Again, the setting sun never fails to remind him of her. His princess.
The cold sea breeze in Yaoguang Shoal never felt this good against his skin. Before, it used to make him feel as if he wants to cry. But now, it just makes him recall good times—when she would run along the shore, picking up a starconch shell and running back to him to let him inspect if it was a good one.
Before, it used to make him regret why he never voiced out what he felt—that he loves her, and still do. But now, it just makes him remember of the times she would sit on this same spot, him next to her, and her gentle whispers of assurance that things will be alright ringing in his ears.
Before, it used to make him think why she did not look back at him to say her one last goodbye before flying off into the night. But now, it just makes him realize that maybe sometimes, goodbyes are not needed. He would have done everything to stop her from leaving, he would have done the most selfish thing and kept her to himself.
Through the past seven years of loneliness, Childe—no, Ajax, has learned to accept that there are things that are just meant to happen. And now, he feels a tad bit proud that he could recall her face, her beauty, her everything—without regrets, without contempt.
And he knows she would be too, if she could see the progress he had made.
It does not hurt to think of her anymore. Instead, running down the memory lane of her tantalizing eyes, soft skin and rare smiles fills him with warmth. With fondness he never thought he would feel after a long time of just being empty.
He fought with her until the very last moment. They all did. She was a beacon of hope in this once dying world of Teyvat. She was the light as old gods awakened, ready to disrupt their fake mantle of peace. She never faltered even in the face of her long-lost brother, even as they clashed their swords against one another.
He watched her from the ground—with the Knights, with all the other friends she made along the way, stalling other enemies, as she zoomed across the sky, renewed prowess exuding such a bright light for everyone to see, engaged in a dance of blades and elements that would inevitably decide the fate of their world.
He remembers it taking forever. But it was worth it—for the moment she came back down, her brother cradled in her arms, he knew that they had won. That she had won.
He fondly recalls the moment before that fight, when she pulled him to the side, held both his hands in her smaller ones. The moment when she closed her eyes and told him ‘I think I like you, Childe.’ in such a mellow tone. The moment when she pulled one of her signature flower pins from her hair and placed it on his palm, then closing it as if telling him ‘keep me, keep my feelings.’ The moment when she softly smiled at him before running off to face her unavoidable fate—to fight for them, to fight for herself.
He notes the lack of that once familiar sharp sting of pain through his chest whenever he thinks about how he never got to say it back before she left their world that night too, before the sky opened up with a bright light—meant to signal the end of her journey, to call her back to her rightful home above, like an angel finding its way to the heavens.
Because that’s what she is.
Ajax believes in angels now. Before, when he was young, he remembers reading from an old fairytale book about beings with bright wings of light—supposed envoys of justice with the power to resonate with all elements of any world. They were called angels—beings said to be greater than gods in a way. He remembers scoffing at the thought—he couldn’t blame his past self, after all, his world only believes in gods. There cannot be any entity above who they worship. But now he knows he was wrong.
For Lumine’s existence proved to him that angels do exist.
He smiles warmly. That’s right, his princess is an angel. He twirls the flower pin again as he wonders how things would have worked if she stayed in Teyvat.
Would she be happy that he pursued his career as a Harbinger, but now of a reformed Fatui? Would she be ecstatic to know that her friend, Jean Gunnhildr, is now the Grand Master of the Knights of Favonius after Varka stepped down? Would she be glad about Razor finally finding a home within the city of freedom, slowly but surely learning the ways of the world, but keeping his wild and carefree heart? Would she be excited about the ongoing rebuilding of the Jade Palace high up in Liyue Harbor? Would she be content at knowing that Baal has now eased up and opened relations to other countries?
He bets she would be because that’s just how she is. Supportive of everyone’s goals and accolades.
He thinks she won’t be too happy about that humongous statue of her located in the heart of Teyvat though. He thinks she would fuss around, flustered about the conjoined efforts of the seven nations to build a memento of their savior. He thinks she would try and tell them that they don’t need to build one—that she’s happy about how everything went well already.
Genuine laughter erupts from him at the thought.
It does not hurt to think of her anymore. Rather, thinking of her makes him appreciate his life in a new light.
“There you are, Paimon has been looking around everywhere for you! Flying can be tiring too, you know?!”
Ajax turns around and faces his small and floating companion. Paimon used to be his princess’ partner. In the first week after Lumine’s departure, he remembers the guide looking lost, lingering and floating around. Then, a few weeks later, he noticed her trailing after him—and when he asked why exactly, she just replied with, ‘You know, Paimon remembers Lumine talking a lot about you. And… even if I don’t like you the most, I know Lumine would be happy if Paimon stays with you!’
Their first few weeks working together were quite difficult, he admits, but she grew on him. Sometimes, when he’s stuck with Fatui work, she would go and visit Zhongli in his office, maybe Xiangling too when she’s feeling extra bored. There were times when she would be gone for weeks, off to visit Mondstadt or maybe even other countries too. But at the end of it all, she always comes back to him. To her new companion. And for that, he is grateful.
Back in the days, there were times when they would quiet down together and think of Lumine. Of the things that could’ve been. Those were times when they would silently acknowledge the pain surely embedded in their hearts from her parting. No words spoken, just plain recognition of each other’s suffering.
Though sometimes, they would argue about silly things about her—about who knows the traveler more and they would be petty enough to not talk to each other for days after.
He laughs before patting Paimon’s head.
“There, there. I’m sorry for wandering off on my own.”
“Just so you know, you owe me a big pot of Adeptus Temptation for making me fly around for hours!”
“Not that you don’t demand that everyday anyway.”
Really, it does not hurt to think of her anymore, he reiterates as he slips the flower pin back in the inner pocket of his coat, away from the golden light of the sun, away from the world.
And right back in the depths of his heart, the place where she will always be.
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