- a selective multi - muse DEFORMED by chuchu / laila her & she a good old 33 DO NOT TAKE from this blog . INFO / PIN . AFFILIATES : @holyscorch , @undeyth

if i look back, i am lost

Kiana Khansmith
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

⁂
Keni
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@delicategods
- a selective multi - muse DEFORMED by chuchu / laila her & she a good old 33 DO NOT TAKE from this blog . INFO / PIN . AFFILIATES : @holyscorch , @undeyth
it was my birthday yesterday. and you won’t believe how I ended the night .
send 📝 + a muse's name and I will list a few wanted plots / wishlist ideas for that muse
if you can't see the emoji, send " wishlist + a muse's name "
what they never tell you is that in turning away from fate you’ll be left with an aching that rummages around your every breath looking for its other half. and no matter what you become nor how many times you try to talk it away it comes back with a verse or two about betrayal. and so you find him clutching at his back trying to soothe some old pain or another. GASPING FOR BREATH and unknowingly throwing himself out of place and time , adamant for some collection of himself. he hadn’t fallen not like those under the sword . no he’d openly given away his divinity to be human but the pain of it still suffocates him. leaving him a child in the midst of a storm . with a weak voice and lunging hands he can make but a simple plea . “ please make it stop - i’ll give you ( @gracelis ) anything please …”
do you want me to take it apart and put it back together? ( from sona!! )
she should be able to put it back together . but no matter how she reasons it she can't. because to start that you would have to take it apart. AND THAT FEELS THE SAME AS CUTTING INTO HER WIFE'S BODY . it's just a doll but when it's the last thing you have of a loved one it feels like a life . and she is too afraid to see what it would say back to her. she had gone out on the expedition and brought the rot back , had let it crawl all around them till all that was left was this doll with her wife's face and her. and so she pushes it on to the other. " please , ( @iedoloh ) i didn't mean to break us apart again. " her voice breaks as it leaves her hand - declaring her the perpetrator blinded by an attempt at godhood.
ONE WOULD COME TO. THE CONCLUSION THAT HE WAS A DRUNKARD . he. was in fact not one , not by a long shot . having never touched the substance he could not be called one. and yet his actions would stand on the tips of themselves to be declared the actions of such . " do you ( @undeyth ) think putting these jump cables on my nipples will be as good as fucking or should i go lower ? "
LIKE FOR A STARTER / specify muse please & thanks .
-> mobile bound open.
he's huddled under an awning, sat upon the concrete as the tips of his sneakers sneak out into the ongoing downpour. the crisp smell of rain reaches his nostrils, and a light shiver cascades down his spine. hands raise to pull the jacket resting on his shoulders a little closer to his form, the spring temperatures high but the rain bringing in a breeze that gave him goosebumps. " forecast said it's supposed to do this all day, " he began, glancing up his company with a shrug, before turning back to watching heavy droplets reach puddles. " left my umbrella in the backroom at work. great place for it, huh? "
she takes a seat next to him , hands stretched out to catch the rain as though it were a confectionary . " it's probably doing wonders back there. " amusement comes round her face like a child in moments of play. " it's surely standing guard and fighting off all mentions of the rain ." she nudges his arm with her own . laughter caught in between every word of her retort. THIS WAS AN ENJOYABLE ENDEAVOR . for between prescribing purpose , and leading mankind to better pastures, she hadn't much time in which she could just exist .
I am doing Eid things since it’s Eid day . So Eid Mubarak 😜 !!! I’ll be on today for sure , so hold your shalwars it’s gonna be a good one 😏
( from here . ) casmir spins him into his words . weaving a small man in the hands of typhoon. unseamed and shouting for god but only finding the devil . he leans into the hand against his cheek , lorn filled eyes speaking in whispers to hide the howl of his heart. " your deviousness is not an opinion but a fact. " he feels the pressure of his other hand upon his own arm and he thinks to see how far the other would go in retaliation. " you drag me along , question the merit of my existence to now being open to a KISS ?" he stares right into the other's eyes to SEE THE LACK OF INTEREST - and so his mouth finds itself sneering to pool laughter over his declarations. " you know i want to kiss you . but who is to say what this is to you - for is a kiss not the first step to cannibalism ?"
he knows that between the two of them his brand of devouring was based in actual need. and that for the other there wasn't much beyond an unnecessary passion to see the world in his net. " HOW ABOUT YOU KISS ME FIRST AND I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN !?" he takes the space between them again , as though enacting a dance between the ocean and the moon.
So not make excuses - I am struggling a bit and it’s put a damper on my writing . I can’t exactly pinpoint what is but I am sleeping more than getting personal things done . Like yes I’ll make it to work or help around the house but otherwise I just keep sleeping . I don’t know if I need to just take it easy but I am hoping to take some time this weekend and be here and I need someone to hold me accountable lol !
@delicategods texted: do you know anything about doing stitches? I may have swung the bat the wrong way
TEXT: you beat someone up with a bat?
TEXT: classy
TEXT: what exactly do you need from me? A wikiHow?
[ TXT] - UHHHHHHH.............
[ TXT] - how much would you laugh if i said i hit myself?
[ TXT] - that and if you can do it for me ?
[ TXT] - thanks :D
do you ever plan on forgiving yourself?
"i don't—..." i don't think that's mine to decide. "i can't just—..." it doesn't work like that. a vortex of endless tragedy— slow-turning, self-consuming— gathers in the dark of tokinaga's eye. his saccharine smile wavers. there are answers. he can think of too many. see too many. outcomes layered over outcomes, each collapsing under the weight of the next (say this, and something inside her stirs. say that, and something inside him does). none of them are answers he particularly likes, and none of them he wants to give. but @delicategods (as madame sylvia) won't take silence for an answer (when has it ever been an option?), so he turns his lone gaze away— looks at some distant crack in the wall.
the grip on his cane tightens. "would you, in my place?"
she can see the way shame caught at his ankles . holding his head down in a declaration of GUILT THAT DEMANDED PERFECTION . and so it laid out traps to tangle any sense of personhood . but yet even in her life perfection was a fairy-tale told to try and make gods out of men . and so she positions herself around him as a shield. " i would . " it is a simple answer - but at times like these it was the easiest way to start. / " you express a desperation to change but something within you holds you back. - IF YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THEN YOU CAN FIGHT IT , and so you can forgive yourself. " she puts her fingers over his covered eye - just close enough to touch but far enough as to keep herself peering into his line of existence . he was being watched by something and it did not settle well with her - but as she was made she only came to collect them at the end. not make their fate for them .
when i was small dumb dumb I used think trans / non- binary people saying afab ment absolutely fabulous and i would always think to myself yes you are .
ceri @ madame sylvia: i remembered you. i remembered your face.
she'd hoped that she wouldn't be remembered . that there would be enough space between them that the other *( @favoriteache ) would have started again , in someplace that didn't go round asking after her father's deeds. but as long as she had existed THERE WAS NEVER A MOMENT THAT SHE DID NOT LIVE AMONGST HUMANS. in their thoughts and on their tongues - a ghoul that always brought something to an end. and so she waits , holds her breath so tight it would look as though she'd passed on herself . only to have it become guilt that would turn her around with a heartbroken look about her. " i am sad to hear you do ." it's a simple declaration but it stomachs years of agony. this child had done nothing but tried to live her life as she had seen fit. innocently and free but her father was not happy and when curiosity took the cat he was too glad to take it from its rest . and so he had taken after her worst part , felix faust love to some but to her he was that which had blinded life and left her with HALF DRAWN LIVES STITCHED TIGHT IN EGO. unable to settle down in thier ends and thus forced her from her own embrace. " nonetheless i am sorry that i did not protect you. "
" do you want to kiss me ? " / casimir at felix aHEM AHEM
“ EXTRA EXTRA , READ ALL ABOUT IT : felix faust is caught in the moment - a spill of the tongue and his insides are out for everyone ( @holyscorch / casmir ) to see .”
in his bones he knows this is a jab . a ploy to see him caught up inside his own desire. AN EXPOSE ON THE VERY STRUCTURE OF HIS EXISTENCE . a gotcha ya moment to shame him while casmir laughs in response. and yet his body feels light , delighted at the possibility of returned affection . and so his mouth rattles on “ and what if i do ? ” he is red to the touch , desperate and cowardly. he was desire itself and if he wanted he could be inside the other with no difficulty . but instead he wants true affection , and as to not jinx himself - he moves slowly forward reaching a finger against his chin. a prayer in hopes it would soften the words between them “ WOULD IT DISGUST YOU ?” he reaches over and puts his lips just over the others. " why don't you just kiss me instead. "
with this he feels a moment of confidence and lowers his lips against casmir's throat - an almost beheading softened by worship . “ because i think your trying to hide something and. you can put that away within me .” THEY SAY TO WALK IN THE SHADOW OF YOUR DESIRED and he go years for that .
drop this sunflower 🌻 into the inboxes of the blogs that make you happy !!! let's spread a little sunshine ☀️ ! ( this comes with the request that ahri like this joke - whoever invented "dentures" missed out on calling them ..."substitooths".)
OKAY BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA OF HOW LOUD I'VE SQUEALED WHEN I SAW THIS ??? FROM YOU ??? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO ??? I HAVE BEEN NOTICED BY ONE OF MY FAVORITE BLOGS ?!?!?!?!? I THINK I MIGHT REALLY NEED A DOCTOR BECAUSE GOSSSSH, MY HEART IS DANCING THE TIP TAP IN HERE 😭 💜 😭 💜 okay okay, on a sliiiiiightly more serious note ... i am so honored 🥹 to receive this from you !!! you're one of my favorite blogs and i'm always so so so so very excited when i'm fortunate enough to catch one of your posts on dash !!!! so please do know that i'm on my knees and that i hope we'll have the chance to interact more and more and and more and more in the future 🥹 🥰 💜 PLEASE COME HERE NOW SO I CAN SEND YOU ALL MY LOVE !!!!!!
ahri told me to tell you that she's currently approaching your location at fox's speed :)) for a smoochie ?? for a bite ?? you are about to find out !!