Sorry for such a long post, but - I sketched up my interpretations/headcanons of the (human [alive]) Straw Hats’ body types and had a lot of fun with it!
The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.
I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:
We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.
Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?
The most interesting thing about watching all the Bond movies in order hasn’t actually been anything to do with the series itself, but watching the world slowly change. Bond is kind of unique in this because it’s one of the only media franchises that’s been running uninterrupted for 60+ years, while always being set in the “present day,” primarily taking place in somewhat realistic settings and places, and not being 100% sci fi to an extent that divorces it from the overall look of it’s contemporary reality. James Bond, unlike any other series, really, allows you to watch the real world slowly change from the early 60s to 2021, in increments so brief it feels as if nothing changes from film to film, and yet by the time you get to the end everything is different
One of my favorite Dandadan gags is when any two of the core gang are reacting in hyperbolized synchrony, like:
1) Momo and Okarun being scared bugs
2) Aira and Okarun synchronously nerding out and/or experiencing autistic lesbianism
3) Jiji and Okarun being gossip bros
Laws of the universe dictate there should be something like that with Jiji and Momo, but I can't remember it from the top of my mind. Feel free to add your own favorites of the genre
Another Canon Divergence AU idea for "The Princess Bride" is that Westley ISN'T following Buttercup when she gets kidnapped. If he's not doing that, presumably intending on kidnapping and confronting her himself, then he really has no way of finding out about the kidnapping besides, again, spying on Humperdink and Rugen (which is very difficult to do). And if he's not there to follow the kidnappers almost immediately, then he has no way to intervene in time.
So, Westley has been a LOT of unpleasant shit to get back and has just found out his true love has moved on to become engaged to their local prince. He's confused. He's really pissed off. He misses whatever opportunity allowed him to follow Buttercup on her daily ride (didn't see her ride out, didn't hear about it, whatever), because he's following another opportunity into the castle to investigate Humperdink. Or else he sees Humperdink and Rugen riding off towards the Pit of Despair together and decides to follow them instead. Either way, Westley overhears the two men very casually discussing Humperdink's beautiful but forcibly gained fiancée and the kidnapping plot currently underway, and Westley realizes that Buttercup is about to DIE and he's very likely not going to be able to reach his true love in time. He still runs off, desperate and ready to die trying to save her.
And Westley is really much to late to cross the water and climb the Cliffs of Insanity and all that, because Buttercup and her kidnappers are already at the border with Guilder. It's fine though, because when Fezzik and Inigo are confronted with the murder part of the job, they object, and Fezzik ultimately decides that he's really not cool with it. Fezzik thumps Vizzini over the head while Vizzini is berating Inigo. Fezzik apologizes to Buttercup. Inigo looks at the unconscious (possibly dead, heavily concussed at least) Vizzini, shrugs, and then helps Fezzik untie Buttercup and apologizes as well.
It's more than a little awkward, because none of them really know what to do besides wander vaguely back towards Florin. Buttercup admits that she doesn't really want to marry the prince, and he'll find her if she goes back to the farm, which leads into her telling the story of her dead true love, which Inigo and Fezzik find very romantic. Which leads into Fezzik and Inigo both sharing their own tragic backstories in turn. Buttercup is personally very intrigued by Inigo's mention of being in the revenge business.
And then Buttercup goes, "Wait a moment, I know a nobleman like that. Count Rugen is Prince Humperdink's closest friend and confidant, and he has six fingers on his right hand. I once had to sit next to them at a dinner table while they spent over an hour discussing all the troubles of finding a good glovemaker and skincare for their hands." (Rugen and his wife also once visited Buttercup and Westley's farm when they were younger, but Buttercup would more recently know Rugen from just... around the castle. Rugen is presumably going to be Humperdink's best man.)
So, Westley is like, "Where the HELL is the love of my life???" presumably harrassing Vizzini about it if Vizzini is still alive. And Humperdink has his theatric rescue party together to find Buttercup's body on the border, unknowingly following behind a rushing and frantic Westley, trying to keep his lies straight while he's internally like, "What the HELL happened to my kidnapping and murder plot to invite a war??? Rugen, I thought you hired the best??? It's so hard to find good help these days!"
Meanwhile, Buttercup, Fezzik, and Inigo are on a new friendship quest back to Count Rugen's house. Buttercup is the future princess, and so is presumably already acquainted with Rugen's young and beautiful wife, who has to let her in and be a good hostess. The Countess is like, "Buttercup... Who are these unkempt and intimidating men...?"
And Buttercup says, "Oh, they saved me from being kidnapped and killed! 😄 I'm sure that my fiancé will want to thank and reward them in person! 😄 This was the closest safe place I could think of! Thank you so much for your hospitality. By the way, when do you think your husband might be home? 😄"
I *know* that in the original, Buttercup and Westley had this grand romance and Inigo took over the Dread Pirate Roberts name and Fezzik...did something. Did he have a plan? Maybe he becomes Inigo's first mate.
But imagine:
Humperdink and various soldiers catch up to Westley and the extremely useless Vizzini. Westley, recognizing the murderous fiance of his beloved, talks a good line and gets himself in Humperdink's...not good graces, the man is too suspicious for that, but at least begrudged tolerance.
Vizzini, of course, is executed before he can spill the beans. Or at least is gagged and taken to Rugen's secret torture dungeon. No big loss.
So that party heads back to the castle with the prince in A Mood (TM), and he's demanding someone bring him Rugen before he's even through the castle gates.
Meanwhile, back at Rugen's ACTUAL home (mini castle), Inigo is giving Buttercup a swordfighting lesson to pass the time and Fezzik is helping out with all those little chores that pile up while the lord is away. Like rearranging the furniture single handedly. The countess is actually quite charmed - he's very careful, and he keeps offering excellent suggestions about where to place different pieces for easiest use, and he doesn't mind moving things over and over when she changes her mind!
Anyway, the Nice Old King dies, poor man, and Humperdink summons all his nobles so he can rush through a coronation. Lady Rugen is all over the place, not knowing what to do, but she escorts Princess Buttercup and her sworn knights (aka they escort Lady Rugen) back to the capitol.
Something something, Inigo and Westley nearly come to blows over "that's my girl!" but then Humperdink opens his big dumb mouth and suddenly it's Westley and Inigo (and Fezzik) vs Humperdink and Rugen, and there's really only one way this can go.
Westley is now the king by right of conquest, assuming he even wants it, and Buttercup is putting her foot down that they are NOT breaking up their fun new gang, and Inigo and Fezzik are like "idc, man, whatever you want."
Anyway, Buttercup decides that SHE will be reigning queen, in her own name, and Prince Westley will be her consort and Inigo, newly ennobled as a count, will be her chief advisor. (And their lover, shhh.) Fezzik leads the Queen's Guard, and between him and Inigo, they whip everyone into actual effectiveness. Former-Countess Rugen becomes a lady-in-waiting to the Queen, which she likes much better than marriage to a man who plans wars and assassinations and new torture methods.
I'm not sure how Miracle Max fits in, but he definitely gets invited back to the castle. Maybe he revives the previous king ("he was only MOSTLY dead!" - Humperdink is terrible at poisoning), who then supports Buttercup's claim to the throne. He likes her, she's clever AND kind. The kingdom could use more of that.
Vizzini never recovers from his concussion and is eventually buried with the disgraced prince and count in an unmarked grave. Fezzik makes sure that lots and lots of buttercups are planted there every spring as a final "fuck you."
Okay, I like the original mutation design of Kevin 11 from Ben 10, but this redesign by robert_le_art honestly may be even cooler!
I feel like some of the alien traits/powers got overshadowed with Kevin's OG design. But I love how the extra arms in this actually incorporate Ghostfreak and Upgrade's abilities; like he can improve mechanical objects to use as handheld weapons, and possess/phase through things (along with the eye on his hand).
And the Ripjaws lure/Stinkfly eye combo, the Wildmutt quills on his back, the XLR8 tails/Ghostfreak tentacles AAAAAH IT'S TOO SICK I LOVE IT
Had a conversation earlier about whether Temeraire counts as Young Adult, and I feel fairly confident no, it's adult fiction. Not to say it's not perfectly approachable by teenagers-- in fact, I believe a great deal of adult fiction is, that's why we teach it in schools-- but just that I think that was Novik's intention, and its born out by its language, style, and primary themes.
All that said-- if we can imagine an alternative version of the series entirely from Temeraire's POV, and that has the potential to be the purest YA that ever YAed.
"Hi, my name is Temeraire. No last name, I don't need one. I'm named after one of the most magnificent sailing ships ever, because my captain won my egg in naval battle. Egg? Oh, I suppose I forgot to mention; I'm a dragon. In fact, I'm the only black dragon in all of Britain. My captain-- who's a gentleman, by the way-- and I went to a special dragon training school. The other dragons made fun of me at first because I look different, but I earned their friendship by showing off my keen intelligence, combat prowess, and my special sonic blast abilities that no other dragon has. Now I'm on a journey across the ocean, because it turns out I'm a secret Chinese prince. But despite by noble lineage, I refuse to stay only to enjoy those royal luxuries-- British dragons are being discriminated by a system that views us as little more than rabid animals, and I must lead my fellows to revolution!"
also on the topic of Cozy Fantasy: I feel like the Circle of Magic books by Tamora Pierce are criminally neglected in this conversation. Like that series has so Many of the popular hallmarks: found fantasy! A magic system based on crafting! Psychic soul bonds! The two main mentor figures are literal cottage core lesbians.
But, crucially, the books manage all of this while having stakes. There are the relationship, personal level ones-- will these orphaned kids become friends? Will they learn to overcome the traumas of their respective backstories? Will they learn to master their magic?
And then there are Larger, life-threatening stakes... but crucially, not 'save-the-world' level. Pierce made the excellent choice for the first quartet (when the kids are like ~10-12 ish) to generally have the threats be natural. An earthquake, a forest fire, a pandemic; there's a pirate raid, but even then the framing feels more like a force of nature. As the kids age, the threats do become more human, but remain generally localized. A crime syndicate, a serial killer. The focus of the story remains what can we do to improve things, here, now, where we are?
They really are such delightful reads and I think they could offer a lot of insight into how stakes don't need to be End of the World to still be tense and impactful.
k but imagine Rocky wanting to learn about how humans became the apex predators of their planet so he has Grace “hunt” him in the biodome as an experiment and during it he thinks Grace isn’t trying or taking it seriously which is bad bad bad because this is for research purposes
only for Rocky to get more and more tired as the experiment goes on just to realize that Grace isn’t which makes him panic so he puts as much distance as he can between them and finds a (hopefully) safe spot to sleep and when he wakes up the human is crouching over him like “got youuu” and Rocky has never shrieked so damn loud before in his life
sooo this inspired me and then prev's tags did too:
so there's a mini fic under the cut I smashed out in like an hour. kinda low effort but whatever. might keep it going on ao3 with more little experiments
At some point, Grace of course realizes it's living in a zoo enclosure. Then comes a Discussion.
"Rocky."
It sat Rocky down and brought up the subject by being uncharacteristically blunt and saying "Look, I would've appreciated a heads-up before becoming a zoo attraction."
Which sent Rocky into a total panic - it told the xenology team to not let Grace know! Now Grace is going to be offended or mad about being a zoo animal! There's no way to sugarcoat this! - and had it screeching out apologies. It won't be able to withstand Grace being mad at it, because the last time Grace was mad at Rocky Grace ignored Rocky. IGNORED. The silent treatment had grated so bad on Rocky's nerves it felt like it was going to go insane.
"ROCKY! CHILL OUT!"
Rocky slows. Grace is still kneeling from where it had settled after first saying 'we need to talk' (worst words in the universe, by the way). Rocky doesn't get any closer, just fiddles nervously with its fingers.
"Rocky, look. This isn't- I'm not mad about it. Honest! I kinda…" It rubs the back of its 'neck' with a hand. "Kinda already figured it out a while ago."
Grace laughs, flashing its 'teeth'. "I mean, we'd do the same thing on Earth if this was all reversed. I get it! I'm an alien, I knew this was a possibility."
"Along with dissection," Rocky grumbles. "And starving to death. Does not mean good thing. Does not mean Grace happy about it."
"But I am! Look, Eridians are learning from me, right?"
Rocky hums a begrudging confirmation.
"Then I'm happy about it! You know me. Once a teacher, always a teacher. Plus, it could be worse."
That is true, all of it. Rocky sighs. "Okay. If Grace is sure Grace not mad at Rocky…"
"I'm sure, buddy. C'mere." Grace reaches forward and wraps Rocky in a 'hug'. Rocky accepts it, reciprocates, feeling the familiar noises of Grace's organs.
"Team will ask more questions," Rocky warns. "Want to do experiments on Solean behavior."
"Oho, boy. I'm looking forward to that."
And Grace isn't lying, and neither is Rocky: within days of the conversation, the xenology team is approaching Grace and asking many more questions about Solean things, especially enrichment and differences between their respective biological functions. They already were, of course, but something seems to have emboldened them.
What everyone finds absolutely ridiculous is Solean hunting, though.
"Sorry," Historian Lilith wheezes out. It's almost laughing too hard to keep going. "You're saying- you- Soleans just walk your prey to death? And you became the apex predators on your planet? How does that work?!"
Every other member of the team present is cackling, including Rocky: Grace alone stands sober, pouting in the way it does when it's offended.
"What's so unbelievable about that?! It's a very effective way to hunt!"
Rocky snorts. "Grace lying. No way walking is efficient! Ambush is better. Example!" And Rocky lunges playfully for Grace, relishing the squeal and the scramble backwards. Then Grace stands up taller. "Okay! I'll show you. Who wants to get hunted?"
Everyone instantly steps back, leaving Rocky at the forefront. Figures. All that talk about how it's not realistic and yet they scatter at the idea of being the prey. Frankly, Rocky can't blame them - nobody wants to be hunted, after all, especially by an alien that breathes oxygen - but it raises a hand anyways. "I volunteer. Grace hunt me. Then we know truth once and for all."
The grin that split Grace's face somehow seems even creepier than usual. It goes off to prepare, murmuring about contacting the substitute teacher that takes over when Grace gets sick. Huh?
Rocky disregards that and prepares by simply making sure the atmosphere suit is fully ready. It knows Grace isn't really going to hurt it, but it has to reassure several members of the xenology team and Adrian, who's come to watch, of that fact. "Seriously? It's Grace. Grace won't hurt me. Grace can't even hurt me!" It starts to mutter about how ridiculous they're all being when someone points out that Grace could potentially break the atmosphere suit with the abundance of rocks in the enclosure, trapping Rocky in the deadly Solean-safe atmosphere, which stops Rocky dead.
It's Atmosphere Specialist Superman, well-known to be paranoid even at the best of times. Eridians have no 'faces' like Soleans, but Rocky deliberately rotates towards the idiot just to hammer in the absolute stupidity of what Superman just said, and then smacks Superman so hard several team members have to pull it off of the scientist. It's swearing and screeching the entire time, and it takes a few Earth hours to calm down properly.
The very idea of Grace deliberately hurting Rocky in such a way - when Rocky knows for a fact the scars from the Adrian Incident are still fully apparent to the Solean senses, when Grace spent months freaking out over every little sneeze or cough Rocky made when in the prototypes of the atmosphere suit - is preposterous. Grace would never ever hurt Rocky like that, would never do anything to expose Rocky to its atmosphere ever again even accidentally. They're both so very careful about it. Rocky is still steaming about Superman's insinuations when it walks inside Grace's enclosure.
Grace is waiting by the airlock. Rocky huffs. "Unfair. Go farther. Too close for start, cheater."
Grace holds up its hands in the almost-happy movement ("When I put my hands up like this, this means surrender.") and steps away a good distance. It's still smiling. "Not gonna matter, Rock," it calls. "I'm about to get you back for alllll those times you ambushed me on the trip here."
"Yeah, right!" Rocky shifts, preparing to run. "We see who is better predator."
"Ready?"
"Ready!"
"GO!"
Rocky bolts. The sand is hard to traverse, its arms slipping both from the xenonite covering and the loose grains, but it already knows it's a faster runner than Grace. And when it clicks to see where Grace is, Grace is so far behind it's laughable. Oh, this is gonna be easy.
Rocky reaches the edge of the biodome, a little worn out from the run. Luckily, it just had a sleep cycle, so it won't need to sleep for another few Solean days. Grace is out of range. HA!
It meanders back closer until it can hear Grace, leisurely strolling along the beach. "What wrong, Grace? Too slow?" It calls out.
A ripple of laughter comes from Grace. "You'll be eating your words soon enough." It sticks its hands in its pockets.
Rocky snorts, and decides to continue to be a little shit. It goes back and darts around Grace, mocking it, staying juust far enough away where if Grace lunges Grace won't even be able to touch it. Grace does give chase eventually, but Rocky just carefully climbs up the cliff face. Damn, humans are stupid! Every time Rocky thinks they're not so bad, Grace does something like this. It's not even chasing Rocky! It's just slowly following.
The biodome cycles over to night, Rocky can tell by the click! of the flashlight Grace carries. It settles on top of the cliff, enjoying the sounds of Grace trying its damndest to climb the cliff. Technically it's well past the time Grace should be asleep, but they're both too stubborn to call quits and the xenology team isn't in a hurry to interrupt this glimpse into Solean hunting methods.
Rocky has to run again when Grace reaches the top of the cliff and starts to chase it again. This keeps going, Rocky running and mocking Grace, Grace just continuing on, unshakable. Rocky only starts to worry when night falls again and Grace is still able to catch up to it!
It yells to Grace, who's a slightly shorter distance behind by now. "Grace need sleep."
"Grace has slept." Grace shouts back. "Remember, I can wake up easily. I've been sleeping and eating regularly, I promise."
"Good!" Rocky lets itself feel some relief that Grace isn't neglecting its health for this experiment. Then it goes right back to insults. "Then Grace have no excuse to be so slow!" It makes a 'fart' noise in Grace's direction and scuttles off, laughing at the offended sound Grace makes.
Day comes again, and Rocky gets frustrated. What in the actual fuck?! Something's not right. Grace has been at this for two Earth days and nights now. If Grace was going to catch Rocky, shouldn't that have happened by now? Is Grace even taking this experiment seriously?
Well, Rocky does know Grace is taking it seriously, because Grace is doing it. Hasn't given up. Hasn't called it quits. So the only reason why must be because this persistence way of hunting is, in fact, not effective, and Grace is just too stubborn to admit it! HA! Get wrecked, Grace.
Frustration turns to glee, which then curdles into nervousness as the day still goes on with no sign of Grace stopping the pursuit. They've both been running in circles: the biodome's not that big, all told, and Rocky can't access a quarter of it due to the fake ocean. No matter how long Rocky runs, there is always the inevitable appearance of Grace on the horizon, and Rocky refuses to entertain any other notion than that the reason for it is the small space. The alternative is too scary to consider.
And, even scarier, Rocky can feel a sleep cycle is imminent. It's exhausted. All the running it's been doing must have brought the sleep cycle on sooner. And Grace, last Rocky heard, still shows no sign of tiredness. Urgh!
Rocky pushes itself just a little harder, until Grace is far beyond Rocky's range of hearing and Rocky is well hidden: Grace is still on top of the cliffs over by the outer wall of the dome, while Rocky's down below nearer to the water. Then it finds one of the caves. It knows this cave in particular is the science cave, where the xenology team has been watching on the camera feeds and listening to this whole debacle, and where Grace usually goes to talk to the xenology team about things.
"I have to sleep," Rocky manages. "Can't keep going." It collapses, and the world vanishes. No worries. Grace won't catch up, and if it does, it won't think to look for Rocky here.
When Rocky wakes, it first hears a clamoring from the observation room. Many voices shouting over one another in panic. It sends a spike of fear through Rocky, and it taps at the floor to hear better - and nearly has a cardiac failure then and there, screaming louder than it's ever screamed before in its life.
Grace is standing right. over. Rocky. Looming, really, and it's never sounded taller or more ominous.
"Hiiii."
Then Grace plunges down, wraps its arms around Rocky. "Gotcha!" It opens its mouth and presses it to Rocky's carapace, leaking saliva all over the suit and pressing its tongue to the xenonite as if it's trying to eat Rocky.
Rocky shudders in disgust and cusses Grace out with every word it knows, smacking it lightly with an arm. "CREEPY! Scared Rocky, nearly kill Rocky with heart attack! No no no bad Grace! BAD BAD BAD GRACE!" This is not the first time this has happened, but it's the first time it's struck such raw fear into Rocky.
Grace is laughing, sending vibrations through Rocky's body. "I told you," it says in that light singing kind of voice it likes to do. "I tooooold youuuu! Persistence predators, baby!"
"That no count! You wait until I fall… asleep…" A horrible idea begins to dawn on Rocky. "No." There's no way. There's no way. It's too awful to think of, and yet it's the only possibility.
"Well-" Grace settles back, crosses its legs underneath it and turns towards the window to the observation room: where, by the way, everyone's gone silent with their own realization of what exactly Grace just did. "You guys didn't let me finish explaining earlier. See, a lot of prey animals on Earth are very fast for short sprints, like Rocky here." It gives Rocky a noogie. "But they can only run for so long before they have to stop moving to catch their breath. So humans evolved to be able to endure long stretches of exercise without having to stop for air. We chase an animal, track it using its footprints or the direction it was going in, keep following it, and then eventually when the animal's forced to stop, we catch up and kill it for our food. So that's what I just did!" Grace flashes its teeth again. It's terrifyingly happy about all of this.
Meanwhile, Rocky quite literally cannot move from fear. Grace has sparked fear before: their first meeting, when Rocky had no clue what to expect but it certainly wasn't some squishy cold bag of meat that breathed oxygen of all things; over Adrian the planet, when the ship had been sent into an uncontrolled spin and Rocky had known what it would have to do to save Grace and Earth and Erid all at once even if it meant death; for a few moments when Rocky had been floating in its tomb, the original Eridian ship, and had heard a cracking-thumping sort of noise coming from outside.
All of those instances were tiny bits of dust next to this type of fear. The revelation that Rocky's wonderful and clumsy friend could have, just now, very easily killed Rocky in Rocky's sleep and that its species did so regularly was the singular most horrifying concept anyone could ever have imagined. Grace probably had no idea that the Solean way of hunting was the stuff of the worst Eridian horror stories. Something that just kept going, kept chasing you until you were forced to rest? Fucking WHY?! WHY, of all the aliens Rocky could have EVER brought home, was it a species THAT HUNTED LIKE THAT?! WHY?!
"That-" it weakly starts - still feeling like it was about to, as the Soleans say, 'shit its pants' - "Very… nice, Grace. Thank for demonstration."
It crawls out from under Grace's arm. "Back soon," and lunges for the airlock. It needs… more than a little bit of processing time. That whole thing was fucking disturbing.
Grace just waves, oblivious to Rocky's internal turmoil. "See you later, Rocky!"
I know the points been made, but god damn, Gideon must have been terrifying for most of Canaan House. She is this muscle bound mute wearing half assembled skull face paint and dark robes, often skulking around the building with her creepy necromancer out of sight. The first time anyone sees her duel she doesn’t seem to register this as a sport and instead just bodies the other cavalier. She’s from a planet of weird monks and nuns who love bones and she is either so pious she took a vow of silence or care so little of everyone else that she simple has nothing to say. The moment things start to deteriorate amongst the various houses she and her necromancer are ready to tear shit up.
Then she opens her mouth and she is this dumbass jock who may only think about swords and boobs. 10/10 perfect character.
Gore Verbinski answers random questions about his films on reddit, so now I'm blessed with the fact that potc soundtrack was playing in jack's head during his first entrance on the sinking boat and I think it's beautiful
gummygunk
gracieabrams
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
yousharknotpass
