Thank the First responders
Today I want to take the time to acknowledge the first responders. As I was in the phone with dispatch, the lady was simply comforting. When I got to my parents house and had told her my mom was blue and that I was going to begin cpr, she relaxed and she just talked to me.
Cpr can tire one out very quickly, and she knew that. She didn’t say much other than “you’re doing so good baby girl keep going.” My body was getting weak because I had been doing it for about eight minutes. Then she would give me little updates, four minutes…. three minutes…two minutes… “can you hear them?” She would ask me as the sound of sirens filled the small town. I didn’t answer her. Instead I looked down at my beautiful mother and kept telling her she was so pretty. That was the only thing I could think to say. Of all the things I could’ve said that’s what stuck.
I heard the paramedics slam the doors shut and then I heard the running up the steps. It was a very small room that all of us wouldn’t be able to fit in. The young one looked at me and said she had it from there. With hesitation I stepped out of the way as I watched the older lady attach the AED to my mom. I watched her chest rise and fall as she was shocked.
I knew that the outcome wasn’t going to be good. She had been shocked to many to times to have not woken up. I stepped over them and went outside where I just looked up at the sky. I focused on the darkness and the calmness of the wind. It was quiet. There were flashes of red as the ambulance was still on.
I turned around only to be consumed in the arms of my fiancé. I locked eyes with him and all he could do was shake his head. I knew she was gone. He didn’t have to say it. I collapsed in his embrace as he tried to hold me up. It took me several minutes to gather myself before i could go back in.
There they were. All three emts/paramedic standing with their arm around my dad. They look defeated. You could see the pain in their eyes as they watched us crumble. The ensured me I had done everything I could. I didn’t thank them that night.
I didn’t thank them for trying to save my mom, for comforting my dad and family. I was selfish in the time. I can’t help but to think how many times they had to witness that. How many times they walked in on children and grandparents who didn’t wake up. How many times they were in the scene of an accident where there friend was in the rubble.
I’m thankful for those men and woman. They go through this all the time and yet each one showed emotion. They were comforting wilhile broken. Maybe the death of my mom reminded them of something worse. I regret not thanking them.
I regret not thanking dispatch. She gave a calmness and let me know that i was not alone. She kept me going to try and save my mom. She encouraged and uplifted me. I’m grateful for everyone involved not only in my situation but those in situations I haven’t gone through. You’re all a blessing. They were a blessing from God.
Isaiah 41:10
