But Jumping Fences Never Leads To Trouble!
Iâm the night auditor at a hotel with a major homeless problem. Every night, itâs something or someone new.
Itâs around 11:45 and Iâm forty-five minutes into my shift. This man walks in, goes straight to the TV in the lobby, and feels around for the button to turn it on.
Man: âCan I have the remote?â
Me: âDo you have a room here?â
Honestly, I donât feel like being wrong in a confrontation if the man is, in fact, a guest, so I donât question it.
Once he falls asleep, though, thatâs where I draw the line. Thatâs it. I yell, âSir,â at least ten times and flicker the lights on and off. Nothing.
So, I get up, go upstairs, get a stray luggage cart that I know makes a ton of noise, and come back to âput it upâ. The squeaky mess of a cart wakes him up as I pass him, and he looks at me like Iâm the villain in his story â the evil woman that wonât let him sleep on the couch in her place of business.
Me: âSir, you canât sleep here. You need to go up to your room or you need to leave.â
He gets up, huffs, and walks right out the door. I watch him go off in an odd direction, not out of the parking lot at all. He goes right around the building to the pool and HOPS THE FENCE.
I go right out to the glass door and stand there with my arms crossed until he notices me. He finds my presence funny. I donât. I unlock the door with my master key.
Me: âIf you have to jump the fence, you probably shouldnât be here.â
He feigns insanity and confusion. Heâs disoriented now, his eyes are squinting, and Iâm no longer funny.
Man: âI was just charging my phone.â
Me: âNo, youâre not. Youâre out by the pool, and there isnât a phone. You were asked to leave and youâre sneaking around.â
He sucks his teeth; now Iâm just annoying to him.
Man: âWell, can I come through that door, then?â
Me: âNo. I kicked you out of the hotel. You can wait right there until the police come.â
He found a way in; he can find a way out if he wants to. Then, I close the door and walk away, already dialing the non-emergency line.
Man: âYou donât have to call the police for this! This is doing too much!â
Maybe it was, but at that point, I had to make a stand and set an example.
The cops came, and they eventually found him and served him a trespassing notice, and I got a happy, spiteful ending.
Imagine being such a POS you brag about siccing the cops on a homeless man for trying to find someplace to sleep. The descriptions of OP as not funny, annoying, spiteful, and evil fit her to a T.