Give Me All Your Attention

Side blog to rant about my mental illness and interact with people with similar issues. BPD/PTSD Queer they/them Main blog is Deluxetrashbaby

[babyefflorescence]

reaching out to people when you have bpd is the worst because you know that eventually they’re going to resent you or leave you because of all the emotional labour u require but you just can’t stop (?????)

[dashaenka]

[womanism]

bpd is so haha relatable until people learn that bpd isn’t just about wanting attention and being a moody lil bean. that being absolutely obsessed with someone is exhausting for both people and never knowing who you are is a constant daily battle and don’t let me even get into the psychosis.

[deluxebpd]

me: i need to end this war against myself. its pointless and unhealthy.

my brain: yes. lets die. then it will all be over.

me: that is NOT what i meant.

[lesbianrey]

me when i complete an everyday task that my depression usually prevents me from doing

[borderline-riku]

one of the grosser symptoms of BPD is literally wanting to tear yourself apart when you’re so upset/distressed/angry 

like the chances of me severely harming myself and/or maiming myself are rather slim but still those thoughts are on repeat and that start to sound better the more time your mental hell goes on

and yeah it’s an intrusive thought and doesn’t mean you actually want to do them or that you’re a deplorable person for those thoughts appearing but it still feels so shameful on a certain level and it never leaves you until your mood shifts once more

[richardgoranski]

someone: talks to me in a way that seems the teeniest bit off, hardly noticeably different than their norm me: lies down in the shower sadly, wondering where i went wrong in this friendship

[avpdnoisearchive]

unstoppable force (my compulsive need to overshare) vs. immovable object (my paranoia that saying anything will cause everyone to hate me) 

[opheliabpd]

When you’ve got BPD and you try to explain the emotional turmoil to people without it, and they say they understand but you’re like… no… you don’t… 

[telltale-widower-deactivated201]

Therapist: BPD is debilitating and intense; one minute you can feel despair and hopelessness, and the next you might become so excited and “happy” that you forget how horrible you felt before. This unfortunately is a vicious daily cycle and requires a lot of patience and validation on y'alls part.

Family: yeah, no problem, for sure!

Me, days later: hm im really in a good mood this morning i feel sociable and everything

Family: you’re doing gr8 sweetie! BPD WHO?? :-))))………. so how bout a part time job? :-)

[dead-0n-main-deactivated2021101]

I think that what a lot of people forget about BPD is that a majority of the time, people who have it aren’t intentionally manipulative and hurtful. BPD develops as a defense tactic in people who are unable to grasp dialectical thinking skills. Your BPD brain shows you the easiest solution to your problems while completely bypassing those skills you should be using in those settings.

Is your friend putting you in a lot of stress? Cut them off completely. No more pain.

Is someone doing something that’ll have an unfavorable outcome for you? Manipulate them into doing things your way instead so you won’t have to deal with it.

Does everything just kinda suck? Kill yourself. Easiest possible solution.

BPD is the emotional equivalent to jaywalking. Sometimes you get to where you need to go, sometimes you cause a 12 car pileup, but it’s so much easier than waiting for the signal

[no-the-sandwich]

im so angry i hate having this shit disorder i dont wanna have fucking fps and i dont wanna have emotional impermanence and i dont wanna have abandonment issues and i dont wanna split and i dont want it i cant handle this anymore

[borderlinedaemon]

bpd culture is feeling hated and neglected just because everyone else happens to be caught up doing something else like eating, sleeping or idk living their fucking lives while you’re misinterpreting their everyday activities like a lil bitch

[deluxebpd]

Anyways when ray is not physically near me I miss her so much my body hurts and I'm convinced she's gone forever. I love her so much and I literally can't stand to be away from her

[tankaramo]

me, when i feel better for a moment: recovery! is! possible! i love living and it is truly a gift me, three minutes later after a mood swing: i will never recover and i’m unlovable and i’m gonna die miserable

[bpdcult]

*scrolls through bpd tag & reblogs 20 posts in a row bc they were relatable*

*comes across unrelatable bpd post* am i faking it

[aninnerconflict]

me @ myself: stop psychoanalyzing me haha 👀