Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! @demon-princess - Tumblr Blog

Click. Clink. Clatter.

Is this thing working?

...ah, probably is. So, this is the plane known as Scumblr, a realm of information and ideas detached from the world. Finally, I've made a breach! I can feel the dark power saturating the ether...

Ah, where are my manners. I am the Illustrious Slayer of the Silver Beast of the Twisted Torrent, the Overlady of Miramort Falls, the Demon Princess who shall twist the Shining Sword Verbolfreade to darkness everlasting!

I shall allow you all the honour of calling me Noxie.

#mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahaahhahahahaahahhaaaaahhahahhahahaha-#(evil theme plays)#i of course shall not reveal my full name here; as scumblr is infested with dark spirits that would seek to gain any edge over one such as

Behold! In my genius, I have infused my favorite tiara with a malign intelligence, a gloom borne shadow that whispers secret knowledge to me when I need it most!

Watch in awe as I test it out!

Ahem. Please tell me where I left the keys to my chamber of corruption.

No.

...pardon me?

No.

This is your purpose, artifact. What do you mean "no"?

Yes.

...

...it would appear that the tiara is still a work in progress.

The giant skull of the Silver Beast that I keep in the drawing room is glowing. Should I be concerned?

#it should be dead #i Did kill it personally #and i don't Think that the ambient magic here is the type to cause spontaneous necromancy #so this is... really strange #though it was a weird creature to begin with #hmm

...I cannot find my servants. Are they gone? Have they fled the spore bloom? Or has a fate far worse befallen them?

Hmm.

This is not acceptable. They are my servants, not the fungi's!

I realize now that my previous lenience as to its spread may have perhaps been a poor choice. With context. Of course it was a apt decision with the information I had back then and all, but in retrospect it was maybe a bit risky... ah, what am I saying?!

I am perfect.

All my designs are fated to prevail! Obviously it was the fault of...

...um...

Aha! I know! The elves did it.

Of course! It makes absolute sense.

You see, the local elves have long been a thorn in my side. Trying to stab me while I admire my reflection, killing my monsters with their rangers, even scuffing up the walls of my dark citadel!

Obviously they sought to utilize their elfy powers to create a fungal bioweapon, knowing that I'd rightly expect it to be just a normal, harmless variety that happens to grow on people.

This cannot be tolerated.

I will get back my staff, and I will enact my retribution upon the elves.

One problem, though. You see, the local elvish village is hidden deep within the wilds of Miramort, and shielded by cunning glamours. That has protected it from the many local monsters that roam through here due to Miramorts proximity to the dark lands*.

Ah, but I remember, now.

I know just how to get through.

#that is; if one doesn't consider Miramort to be a part of the dark lands proper #i may have to reward my maids upon their return #perhaps grant them dark nobility?#much to consider...#i'll have to see what i can do for their infection #i really thought it would be fine #mushrooms have been a popular trend lately; or so i hear #anyways #time to gather up my army #i've got a village to sack #or pillage #hehe village rhymes with pillage...

The good news is that I finally figured out how to properly adjust my etheric interface. Not that I couldn't affect it before--of course I could; gloom knows its mistress. But now I can alter it in ways that yield far more through results.

I do love holding total control over my domain.

#and growing my domain #this is really nice

Alright, that settles it. I need a cult.

#really i should have gotten one already #being a demon princess and all #yet alas; it falls upon me to do the work of founding #hmm; i'll have to pick out someone to appear before in all my dark splendor...

I have sneezed five times already from these stupid spores! Why do I even have a sneeze reflex! I'm a demon! Creatures formed of raw gloom don't have to worry about pathetic biologic troubles such as illness and the like!

Ugh, and they're super clingy, too. It's almost like the spores are drawn by my movements, which... isn't a bad strategy for it in general, but it is a bad strategy when this means it gets on my clothes!!!

I am a demon princess!

I am elegant and terrifying!

I am not meant to get covered in filth!

Ǎ̶̯͓͒A̴͇̿̒Ḁ̶̧̅A̶̗̍̋Ă̵͓͙͆R̵̼͋͑R̴̙͕̓͌R̴̝̉R̴̦͑G̴͕̤̎G̶̜͐̆G̴̛̘Ḩ̵̒̾H̷̬̕!̶̙͊͝!̷̟̹̋̋!̷͇̟́!̷̟̭͊́!̷̭͝ ̶̻͇̑͗

Okay, I just immolated all the spores near me with warped flames of doom and despair.

...why do the ashes smell like burnt chicken???!!

#and i Specifically infused my garb with the magical intent to Not get dirty; thank you very much #ugh; i am going to make a water monster after this Specifically to perform a deep clean on my residence #how did that fungus even make so many spores???#it just infected a few maids! it shouldn't have done this!!#and can they Not seek me out?!#i am a Demon Princess; okay!!!??

demon-princess

...why are there spores everywhere?

demon-princess

Ugh, my palace is covered in this stuff. Where are the maids?!

...

...oh.

Perhaps letting an unknown parasitic fungi spread inside my servants wasn't the best idea.

#welp #time to figure out what happened to them and fix it #because i am Not cleaning this mess myself

NOBODY SAW ANYTHING, OKAY!!!!

...why are there spores everywhere?

Ugh. I ordered this one flying bat I made to find me a mirror worthy of reflecting my visage. And to its credit, it did come back with a mirror! A very fancy one, with carvings of faeries and flowers. Possibly used to belong to a noble. Silver backed and even enchanted, truly an artifact that anyone would be proud to own...

Anyone not made of gloom!!!

This oh so elegant mirror is enchanted to show the spiritual form along with the physical!! And guess what, it does not interact well with the image of demonic royalty.

It was horrible.

When one gazes into the mirror they should see their finely crafted features, an image that truly displays both their beauty and their power. It should reveal an image of perfection.

It should not show a vantablack shadow with piercingly bright eyes!!!!

My face! Absent! How am I supposed to arrange my eyelashes when it shows utter darkness!

Yes, yes, we all get it, mirror. How very poetic of you! Darkness of the soul reflects darkness upon its surface, oh metaphors, yada yada yada.

Look, sometimes it may be flattering to see oneself in a form of refined darkness wreathed in shadow. But sometimes, one just wants to see their face! Their very pretty face! Is that too much to ask, mirror?

...

...oh.

There was... a button.

On the side.

To switch it back to normal reflecting.

...that I only saw after I had dramatically punched the mirror and gotten its shards all over the place.

...

Welp. This is awkward.

...I'm going to have to get a mirror repair person, aren't I.

#i was so enraged that i almost opened a portal to a nightmare dimension when composing this post #did i perhaps overreact?#...no; it was the mirror that was wrong #hmmf.

Verbolfreade has proven frustratingly resistant to corruption. I've been marinating it in the darkest gloom I have for days now and yet it hasn't even dimmed!! Like, seriously? I knew it wouldn't be easy to transform its brilliant shine to a monument to my gloaming radiance, but surely even a little less sparkle would have been reasonable by this point!!!!

Perhaps its because of its claimant. Had my mission to take it initially proven a success than such an issue would be irrelevant, but that is unfortunately not so. No matter. A mortal heart will be easy enough to darken, pure and true though it may be.

No matter the struggle, no matter the challenge, I will not give up. I will never forsake the path to my ascension. It is only a matter of time until my goals succeed, and time I have aplenty...

Okay, pep talk complete. Time to resume researching dark rituals.

There's this one pond nearby that's filled with poisonous water. And when I say poisonous, I mean forms skulls out of steam when disturbed poisonous. Which is really quite fascinating, along with how it constantly bubbles even when prone.

Naturally, I utilize it for my tea.

#it does have a rather charming effect #and the poison doesn't bother me anyways

I love lounging on my throne. It's been far too long since I've had a chance to imperiously watch over my minions as they perform my bidding.

#and its a nice throne too!#made it myself #for it needed to be Perfect #its both comfortable and looks intimidating #a wonderful combination #perhaps i should add a massage feature #not that i really need it; being made of gloom and all #but it would still be nice

I need a chef.

Look, its not for like, survival or anything. I'm not a vampire. I can subsist off of pure gloom.

It's just... it gets kind of boring sometimes. Like, yeah, gloom has all these flavors depending on the emotions within, but its not actually fulfilling in the way food is. At least not in the way that I've been consuming it.

Hunting wildlife and feasting on their flesh isn't a bad experience, but it just doesn't have the same feel as a professionally cooked meal.

So. I need a chef.

Dark spirits of the ether!!!! What are your recommendations?

#of course i could try to learn to cook myself #but i am a Princess #why would i do so as more than a hobby; at most?!#why should I be one expected to create my own meals?!#no.#i refuse!#whether it be a mortal kidnapped and reforged into my minion #a monster formed out of darkest gloom #or some other creature of shadow; contracted to serve me #i. need. a. chef.#okay this may have been brought on by all the delicious food i ate while disguised as a mortal human #but its still an important concern!#my own comfort is paramount #and i have had a Terrible lack of tasty meals of late

Yes, I have installed an anti-skylight in the hole in my ceiling.

Yes, it casts a nebulously writhing shadow onto the stratosphere.

No, it doesn't serve any special purpose, it just looks cool.

Yes, the spellwork was annoyingly complex.

Maybe it was worth it. Maybe not. But who cares?! It's fun.

No, I am not upset that one of the maids called it tacky.

#she was probably just mad about the fungal thing #shadowy figures heralding doom are important #for the right kind of dread atmosphere #especially when they're in the actual atmosphere

Huh, it turns out that garden of fungi I gathered from the forest includes some maneating specimens. And I mean maneating, not humaneating--were it humaneating they would have eaten my maids when I got them. As it is, they just ate some random explorer who went into my fortress for some reason. Maybe he got lost.

Anyways, the more important matter is that that it seems that the spores have spread onto some of the maids while they were cleaning, and are now growing within them! It's really quite fascinating, I can't wait to see what comes of it. Perhaps some kind of new monster? Oooh, the possibilities...

It's just kind of annoying how the uninfected servants are all panicking and screaming in terror as they flee and hide from the infected ones. Like, come on! There's rubble to clear and you're throwing a strike?! At least have the decency to comfort those the spores have touched, they're all too busy sulking about the process to actually help clean up.

At least their attempts to hide are helpful for troubleshooting my defenses...

#there's a fair amount of fungi #like its not a super mushroom forest or anything #but; you know; its dark; its moist; they're mushrooms #quite interesting ones too #the maneating variant is especially interesting #it split down the middle!#and swallowed him whole!#it had Teeth!!!#i wonder which one infected them #i hope its the maneating one i think that would be cool #but; you know.#fungi are all fun!!#i just hope that they won't get spores everywhere while they're cleaning #or be unsuitable for that in general #but i guess i could get more servants if it ever comes down to it

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