The Book of Things Demon Hunters Are Not Allowed To Do

A comedy blog about the unspoken rules of the Devil May Cry crew (written by Panda)

[demonhunternonos]

281. I am not allowed to encourage cringe-inducing actions for my own amusement. (Shiela)

[demonhunternonos]

280. I will not borrow Big Sis' pink magic book again. (Shiela)

281. Shiela is not to refer to any of my grimoires as 'pink magic book', even if they deal with sexual matters. (Tess)

282. No, you cannot ask me about that particular grimoire. (Tess)

283. I should not speculate on the sex life of my fellow demon hunters. (Trish)

284. Do not kinkshame the witch, she's got enough anxiety as it is. (Lady)

[demonhunternonos]

279. I am no longer allowed to test spells, curses and seals on my fellow demon hunters. (Tess)

[demonhunternonos]

278. Nobody cares why my eyebrows are dyed fluorescent orange. (Nero)

[demonhunternonos]

277. Tess is not allowed to teach Nero curses in any language, he's vulgar enough as it is. (Dante)

[demonhunternonos]

276. I am not allowed to refer to my boobs as ‘mommy’s money makers’. (Trish)

[demonhunternonos]

275. I am not authorized to sell anything to anyone unless I actually own it. (Dante)

[demonhunternonos]

274. Roy is not allowed to refer to us as 'his stupid kittens'. (Lady)

[demonhunternonos]

273. Truth or Dare is now banned in the office. (Dante)

[demonhunternonos]

272. I may not imitate masturbation to express my feelings on whatever topic is at hand. (Nero)

[demonhunternonos]

271. I am not allowed to growl or hiss back at any animal that growls at me. (Roy)

[demonhunternonos]

270. I will not call Roy ‘dad’. (Dante)

[demonhunternonos]

269. Not allowed to sing “Who Are You?” when asking a ghost or a demon who they are. (Dante)

[demonhunternonos]

267. I may not challenge anyone to a duel of honor. (Nero)

268. I may not goad Nero into a duel of honor. (Dante)

[demonhunternonos]

262. Do not ‘test’ Tess’ ability to cope with stressful situations by switching her coffee with decaf. (Dante)

263. Fully caffeinated coffee is a requirement for the job. Decaf is officially banned from the office. (Dante) ((courtesy of @thecrimsontwin ))

264. Do not let Tess have more than 4 cups of coffee when she hasn't slept in 3 days. (Trish)

265. I must not tease witches who are in the midst of caffeine withdrawal with coffee. (Lady)

266. Do not give Nero any of Tess' coffee. He can't handle it. (Kyrie)

[demonhunternonos]

261. Taking the day off on the basis that the world is going to end is stupid. Especially if you do it more than once. (Lady)

[demonhunternonos]

260. Not allowed to claim that “Pulp Fiction” is a documentary. (Trish)