Dentally Challenged: Gangsta Grillz

"Crooked smile, we could style on 'em...."  But I got that Invisalign now, homie. What up. These are my observances during this most magical time.

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(Day 011)

Brush sessions: 4

While brushing my teeth in the mall restroom, a little girl asked, “Mommy? Why is she brushing her teeth in the bathroom? Is she homeless?”

Eyebrow raised in amusement, I responded, “No, I’m just putting my fake teeth in.”

“Oh."

Her mother and I share a laugh since she obviously sees my aligners in the case.

And then the little girl drops a truth bomb, “Like grandma?”

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(Day 010)

Brush sessions: 5

Shout out to my husband who called me out for not giving him a shout out on my blog.

There.

Also, I find that I have an obscene amount of saliva under my dentures. So much so that I can actually see the bubbles underneath the plastic.

Is that weird?

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(Day 009) Weapons of plaque destruction.

Without going into too much detail, let’s just say I’ve come a long way from the dental habits I used to have.

These are now my must haves (clockwise from top):

1. Toothbrush & toothpaste kit 2. Efferdent denture cleanser tablets (heh) 3. Two aligner storage cases 4. Mouthwash 5. Sonicare toothbrush w/ traveling case 6. Floss 7. Softpicks 8. Ortho wax

Not pictured, the actual aligners. Because unlike this blog, that’s TMI.

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(Day 008) So fresh & so clean.

Brush sessions: 3

I have solved my stinky dentures problem.

Efferdent denture cleanser tablets.

Genius.

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(Day 007)

Brush sessions: 4

I felt like such a rebel today. I brushed my teeth after lunch.

But I didn’t floss.

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(Day 006)

Brush sessions: 4

I decided not to eat lunch today; because well, Invisalign diet. But I did have coffee. Mmmmmmm, caffeine.

Also, I discovered that my dentures have a distinct smell and have now begun to wonder if people can smell them.

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(Day 005)

Brush sessions: 5

I took it back old school and bought some ortho wax because my lips are getting so tore up. (I’m such a bitch baby.)

Also, today I actually said, “Kids these days have it so made. The wax comes with mint flavor and vitamin E now.”

I’m an old bitch baby.

[dentallychallenged-blog]

(Day 004)

Brush sessions: 7

Today was the first time eating out with Invisalign. I decided not to tell anybody, but I wondered if people thought I had a tiny bladder (or diarrhea) ‘cause I went to the bathroom, like, 4 times.

Also, it was my first time brushing, flossing and putting on my dentures in a public bathroom in front of actual people. It wasn’t so bad. 

Then again, they were 2 drunk girls. I don’t think they noticed I was even in there.

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(Day 003) More thoup.

Brush sessions: 5

Eating then brushing and flossing then putting on the aligners is such a production. Is this why people lose weight with Invisalign? I get mad lazy when it comes to doing all that just to eat something.

“I’m on the Invisalign diet.”

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(Day 002)

Brush sessions: 5

This lisp is insane. (Reading that out loud was embarrassing - on the train....by myself) Also, today I had “thoup.”

And I’ve begun referring to my aligners as ‘my dentures.’

[dentallychallenged-blog]

(Day 001) Jessie Spano excited.

Brush sessions: 2

First day! And only 23 aligners to go. (Two weeks per aligner - oh boy.)

If everything goes to plan, I’d be finished with treatment by December 22nd of this year. I’m getting a super head start on this Christmas gift to myself this year. Self high five.

Also, I thought these attachments were going to be more discreet. Which is not a word I’d use to describe this lisp.

They’re not actually pink; they’re the color of my teeth - but still.