here to ruin your day with angst

blog full of headcanons and thoughts about lwj because i think too much about him (if anyone asks: i'm not okay) / main: @incomplete-ruler

[depressinglwjthoughts]

!!IMPORTANT TO READ!!

So when I made this blog I was planning to queue a bunch of random thoughts I had about Lan Wangji and then unpause the queue at a later date to let them automatically release daily. However due to recent events I realised that I needed to get these out as soon as possible. Regardless of if Tumblr is officially going away or not, I'm leaving. There will be a post on my main @incomplete-ruler (will change this to an embed link later) where I'll leave links to all the places I'll be moving to so I'd recommend checking those out if you want to see the continuation of inner workings like this (or you just want to see more insanity). If there's anything directly related to this blog I'll post it here too.

Oh and also there's some suggestive stuff in here so beware (I mean I only queued one post but still thought I should mention it).

[depressinglwjthoughts]

So this is a last minute queued post before I start exporting this blog, but I just wanted to say that when my mum starts reading the novel I have a feeling that she's gonna relate to Lan Wangji too (she's not queer but she's a neurodivergent mess like me). Like a few weeks ago when I was opening up about my problems and she was telling me her experiences with being not neurotypical in a conservative south-east asian country I was like "hey mum did you know that changing your behaviour to appear more acceptable to a neurotypical society is called masking?

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Me when Lan Wangji does anything: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN

[depressinglwjthoughts]

If there's anything I relate to heavily with Lan Wangji it's kinkshaming yourself to the point where you want to kill yourself.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

Me when I see someone call Lan Wangji boring: I... *holding back my likely 5 part thesis about lwj's character arc, the subtext in the novel and why it means so much to me* respectfully disagree.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

Me when I see someone call Lan Wangji boring: I... *holding back my likely 5 part thesis about lwj's character arc, the subtext in the novel and why it means so much to me* respectfully disagree.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

So I may act unhinged sometimes over here and on my main, but take me out of Tumblr and I shall act like Good Christian Girl Lan Wangji

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Wishing for all of my sexual repression episodes to be inflicted onto Lan Wangji for at least a week when I have them.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

I feel like lwj is me in another universe if I didn't have any sex trauma that complicated the acceptance of my own sexual attraction to others (or limited attraction since i'm acespec)

[depressinglwjthoughts]

Me today: How can I possibly channel this deep pain I feel in my heart?

Oh wait...

LAN FUCKING WANGJI

[depressinglwjthoughts]

Lan Wangji doesn't even feel like a character to me sometimes. Like that's my bestie, my soul brother, my platonic main bitch. We shall join forces and take over the world with our gayness.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

If I dissociated a lot less I wonder if I'd have as much of a connection to lwj as I do now. If I was able to speak up more and not be so afraid, I wonder if I'd relate to him as much.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

If there's anything I want to know about lwj it's how the fuck did he let go of his fear of disobeying/being in the wrong? 'Cause I'm still feeling that right now

[depressinglwjthoughts]

Teenage Lan Wangji internally screaming, crying and punching the wall through the day and night as he thinks about Wei Wuxian. So close but so unattainable, so bright but so endlessly frustrating (for multiple reasons). And there Lan Wangji was, all by himself as he finally sat with the pent up anger, sadness and longing he had for Wei Wuxian. Coming to the final realisation that he isn't normal and never will be.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

I love how this is my most popular post so far (well two days in I guess). Makes sense 'cause I know you lwj kinnies and most of you guys are sad gay nerds who were unable to express yourselves fully because it would be picked apart/weaponised in the environment you grew up in (I'm also calling out myself here don't worry)

[depressinglwjthoughts]

SAVE ME LESBIAN LAN WANGJI SAVE ME

[cortiswithluv]

SAVE ME TOO

[depressinglwjthoughts]

The ultimate lesbian icon shall save us all

[depressinglwjthoughts]

Teenage Lan Wangji internally screaming, crying and punching the wall through the day and night as he thinks about Wei Wuxian. So close but so unattainable, so bright but so endlessly frustrating (for multiple reasons). And there Lan Wangji was, all by himself as he finally sat with the pent up anger, sadness and longing he had for Wei Wuxian. Coming to the final realisation that he isn't normal and never will be.

[depressinglwjthoughts]

I could see fem!lwj taking any opportunity she could to smoosh her face into wwx's tiddies and she would definitely bite them during sex too.