Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired

29 year old female who does nothing but shit posts her continuous struggles with active addiction and worsening mental health and sh tendencies 🖤

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[depressionstrophywife]

One year and a handful of days later since my last update, still using. Found a love in a substance that has taken the lives of so many. Including several individuals who have been blessed to have crossed paths with. Ones who’ve I’ve promised myself that I would never pick up the lethal poison and follow in their footsteps, yet here we are almost a year on Fet and I’m still alive and kicking.

It’s truly disgusting how igt only took them one time to croak, yet I’ve been doing it for almost a year and my pathetic little self is still breathing. Wonderful beautiful people, gone yet never forgotten. Meanwhile I’m still alive and forced to go on day by day surviving and not getting my desired fate.

Like I’ve said before, I’m cursed.

[depressionstrophywife]

Hey all I just wanted to check in and just let you all know I’m not clean nor sober. I’m sorry. This past year has been the worst, the last 6 months I’ve been out on a sick one. I’m so down the rabbit hole, I don’t think I’m going to make it back out and that scares the fuck out of me.

[depressionstrophywife]

I'm out seekin' peace like I'm seekin' air to breathe

Pray to a God that I never thought I would believe

Grant me serenity for all the things I cannot change

Wisdom to know that I can ain't the same

[depressionstrophywife]

So for some of you it's just another Friday morning, for me I'm celebrating my official 1st year sober. Some know of my struggles with alcohol, while others only met me on my sober journey. Regardless of how and when we met, I made it a full+ around the sun without a drop of alcohol in my system, and to me... That's pretty fucking cool if you ask me.

[depressionstrophywife]

I've got 99 problems and killing myself would solve about 83 of them....

[depressionstrophywife]

11 months sober

[depressionstrophywife]

330 days sober

[sad-boi-shit]

i wanna get bad again. i wanna cut and starve myself and vape and drink 6 energy drinks a day and get drunk and just quit giving a fuck. theres peace is self destruction. i wanna get bad again

[depressionstrophywife]

The feminine urge to stick my fingers down my throat to feel pretty

[depressionstrophywife]

I miss you most at night

[traumaticchild]

uh oh looks like someone let themselves develop an attachment to another person despite having major abandonment issues 

[depressionstrophywife]

AND THAT'S ON MY CODEPENDANCY

[depressionstrophywife]

FUCKING HOW????i

I MAKE ONE SILLY ASS POST AND YA'LL BLEW IT UP.

[depressionstrophywife]

I'm barely alive at this point

[depressionstrophywife]

All jokes aside, I think I found my 13th reason

[depressionstrophywife]

It's a grippy socks on in bed type of cold out if I do say so myself