we don't even have to have sex just pin me down and kiss me for thirty to forty minutes and i will be in heaven
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@derangedqueer
we don't even have to have sex just pin me down and kiss me for thirty to forty minutes and i will be in heaven
starting a collection of whatever this is
talking to someone i thought i was never going to again, after almost 5 years.
like a hole in my heart and life has been filled again.
i hope we can be together in person some day. and hope for more.
the idea of dating after coming out of a long term (lesbian) relationship feels so wild to me.
i see people jumping into the next and meanwhile i am trying to process the (nuclear) shadow that the relationship left me with.
i love how not being able to literally shower properly since i was 5 years old because of insane depression and dissociation, i finally find myself in my 20s, going to therapy and being able to take a shower every single day for the past 2 weeks.
feeling joy while doing so and can't imagine not doing it to destress from the day.
i love it when therapy works.
(and so does leaving your toxic lesbian relationship)
manifesting healing and joy for all my mentally ill folks out there.
it is possible, i promise.
it is not easy, but it is possible.
you're rubbing off on me 𓆝
i still wake up with things to tell you. and in another universe, we have done everything correctly. but i am not in another universe, and i am drowning in my grief and regret. but somehow, i am still standing. because i am not drowning, no matter how badly it feels like my lungs are heavy with water. i am only holding my breath. and one of these days, i will remember how to let it out, and take another breath in, until i have breathed all of my watery pain away. and i will be okay again without you.
lesbian break up of a 3.5 year relationship- even though i was the one to do it, i feel like i have made the biggest mistake of my life.
does it ever get easier?
i feel like literally jumping infront of the tracks.
me sexting: i feel like something bad is going to happen to me. i feel like something bad has happened. it hasn't reached me yet but it's on its way.
"everyone suddenly seems really stupid and aggressive" its brain damage from covid
"im sick all the time now and everyone at work is sick all the time" its immune system damage from covid
"im sick again, but i tested and its not covid haha" its still probably covid, rapid covid tests have been estimated at 30% positive accuracy by researchers who are factoring in strain mutation and user error
"no one can drive anymore, what happened" its brain damage from covid
"why am i suddenly mentally ill" its brain damage from covid
"i started feeling weak, breathless, confused, distracted, irritable and in pain but it was a while after i got covid so its not long covid" long covid sets in a random number of months after your covid infection and also asymptomatic covid can cause it
"ive still never gotten covid, isnt that great" unless you are an undiscovered genetic freak (possible) or youve been living in a clean room, you have had a covid infection. it may have been asymptomatic
"im sick but its from blood clots, heart disease, asthma, nerve damage, narcolepsy, etc" covid attacks the entire body and can cause all of these things as downstream effects
"ive already had covid so i probably have pretty good immunity by now" covid does not work like this. the more times you are infected, the more permanently injured you will become, and the more vulnerable to further covid infections and infections of all other viruses and bacteria
"ive been vaccinated so im safe" covid does not work like this. vaccination lowers your likelihood of developing severe infection, it does not protect you from contracting the virus
"well what am i supposed to do" wear a mask
this is going to surprise the segment of this website that doesnt keep up with medical research but latest research shows that narcolepsy is likely an auto-immune condition triggered by infection, any kind of infection. we already have ample documentation of narcolepsy following covid-19 infection. if you already have narcolepsy and get covid-19, the narcolepsy is likely to get worse.
as for cancer,
Since the pandemic began, some oncologists have noted a rise in cancer cases, including rare cancers among younger adults. Early data from national sources and some large cancer institutions also suggests that there has been an increase in aggressive, late-stage cancers. "We started noticing some very unusual patterns," said Kashyap Patel, CEO of the Carolina Blood and Cancer Care Associates. According to The Hill, Patel and his colleagues have seen a 20% to 30% increase in new patients, multiple patients with several different cancers, couples and siblings developing cancers within months of each other, and patients relapsing after years of remission. According to Patel, he believes that inflammation associated with COVID-19 may be contributing to this new rise in cancer cases. "Inflammation triggers many genetic changes in a genome that can create a propensity of developing cancer in certain individuals," Patel said. "I'm analyzing close to 300 patients' data on the inflammatory biomarkers in the body with Long COVID antibodies … and if they had an unusual cancer."
Since the pandemic, there has been a rise in new cancer cases, including rare and aggressive, late-stage cancers — and some physicians and r
this isnt widely understood by laymen because cancer is complicated and a very broad category of disease. but the oversimplified way to explain cancer risk is that cancer more often occurs in areas of tissue that have been damaged in any way. if you get sunburned a lot, those cells have a higher chance of becoming cancerous. if you get infected with viruses and bacteria a lot, those cells have a higher chance of becoming cancerous. and so many viruses can cause or contribute cancer, including probably the most well-known to the general public, HPV. even physical contusions and bruises, especially in the same places over a long period of time, increase cancer risk to those areas.
what everyone needs to understand about covid is that it affects everything. if you catch a regular influenza virus after catching covid, the damage that covid did to your body will make the resulting flu worse for you even if the covid virus is no longer active in your body. in the same way that it is harder to tolerate a bad day at work when you have a hangover, tolerating the normal, existing stressors, viruses, bacteria, and injuries of daily life has become more difficult and costly. catching a cold will make you sicker. preexisting conditions like narcolepsy and cancer will get worse. if you are a child, your developmental processes are being interrupted by the infection, with unknown later consequences.
every single thing is now complicated by a new handicap, or debuff, or whatever you want to call it, everywhere, all the time. this is what people dont understand. all your coworkers and distant family or if youre unlucky, friends and relatives, who have suddenly been getting sick or dying in slightly higher numbers than seem normal, even if it's something like "their lung cancer suddenly got worse" or "they died from appendicitis in a weird way 35 year olds arent supposed to" or "their dementia got a lot worse very quickly in a way we didn't expect" or "they cant work enough hours to buy the food they need anymore because theyre just feeling really shitty all the time" or "we thought i was regular food poisoning but it just doesnt seem to be getting better and its been six months now" or "they have a genetic condition which sometimes causes heart problems and suddenly all those heart problems showed up in the past four years", we're not saying that's literally an active covid infection, it's the consequences of covid's long term damage making regular stuff worse.
i dont really understand why the idea of "cause and effect" is so difficult for the average person to grasp but i dont understand a lot of things
Heh
Mornings ☀️
gihun × inho is made funnier if you consider that jun-ho is panicking somewhere and probably imagining all kinds of the absolute worst shit happening (gihun killed his brother, his brother killed gihun, gihun died immediately in the first game bcs it's gihun, inho got annoyed he didn't get chocolate milk for breakfast and gunned down all the players) desperately looking for that island the ENTIRE season meanwhile those two bitches are just chilling and throwing loving looks at each other and speedrunning a feel-good friends to lovers arc with a spicy betrayal/obsessive longing twist for good measure. they're going to break this man when he finally gets there.
like imagine jun-ho finally showing up in s3 and catching his brother inho watching his work bestie gihun on five different cameras not even blinking just staring and sipping chocolate milk like
Let's give it up for pining after your enemy!
I'm doing my part for the Gi Hun x In Ho fans
Me a couple of weeks ago: once the new year hits I'm gonna completely focus my mind on finally getting my shit together nothing can stop me in 2025 I'm gonna lock the fuck in
All that's actually going on in my mind in 2025: no but the way in that one scene where gi-hun mentioned the security cameras and everyone in the group looked up at the same time except for in-ho cause he was too busy staring at gi-hun 😭😭😭