Derowen

she/her | 25yo | tw: adult topics, swearing | POLISH 🇵🇱That's the place for my thoughts, fanarts, AU ideas and headcanons, you can ask me for some. Obsessed with Milgram right now (I propably should find some lighter fandom for my depression ha. ha. ha.)

[derowen]

Introdution/info post

Okay, this blog is for my thoughts, fanarts, headcanons, AU ideas and rp rambling. I also love to drop linguistic fanfacts from time to time. You can also ask me some questions, if you want, though I don't promise I'll answer them all

Fanarts take longer time than simply writting and I usually don't do that in digital. I'm too perfectionist for it and have too short focus, I easily bore, so it takes forever for me xd And I have only ibisPaint on my phone and fingers right now. But I draw a lot in my schetch books/notebooks/drawing pads

What I DON'T DO:

> ffs. Or I do, but only in polish and I won't public it here propably, until my english will become better. But I'm in the middle of translation of the scene from my HideKane rp, but I'm so tired of using Internet to check some words or idioms in every line, so it'll be one time

EDIT: nevermind, I lost it, I give up...

> character x reader headcanons. My brains just thinks a little too much and it just doesn't make sense for me, if one of the people doesn't have clear personality, because people act differently depending on who they're dealing with

> big bang theories. Like I can sometimes make a little longer post about my thoughts, english is still my second language and I'm still not very good at it and I have troubles to describe my thoughts sometimes

-> nothing involving incest or pedophilia or other things like this, unless not romanticized. Things like this exists and it won't be Taboo on this blog (I'm talking about TG here, hello xd), but I'm strongly against things like that. But it's still interesting topic, so I won't avoid this

-> nsfw is okay. I like to make nsfw headcanons, even if I'm easily bored, while writting it in rp and ffs for some reason. So don't ask for it very often xd

And I think that's everything?

IMPORTANT:

trigger warnings are tagged as "tw: something mentioned". I used it for rape, suicide, blood, gore, alcoholism, drugs, murder, hurting animals, chils abuse, harassment, incest, self-harm and sex (in non-nsfw way) so far (sometimes "mentioned" doesn't have sense, but I want to be consistent, welp). The only exception is nsfw that is simply #nsfw

If you want to block some fandoms, I use both tags "sao" and "sword art online" and name of the fandom + headcanons or name of fandom + fanart. Other things aren't connected to the title of the franchise

Though, I don't tag swears, so it can appear there and there

Fandoms:

-> Tokyo Ghoul (tag: tokyo ghoul)

-> Milgram Project (milgram, milgram project)

-> Harry Potter with the special attention to Marauders Era, but not Marauders Fandom per se. I like some of headcanons and ships, but those books are my whole childhood and I respect them no mater what, even if Rowling become weird lastly. And well, yeah, she should just step away. Cursed Child isn't canon for me (tag: harry potter, marauders, marauders era, huncwoci -> because POLSKA)

-> To Be Hero X (tag: to be hero x, tbhx)

-> Riordanverse (tag: pjo, riordanverse)

-> Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss (tag: hazbin hotel, helluverse)

-> Sword Art Online (tag: sword art online, sao)

-> Voltron

-> Avatar: The Last Airbender

-> Gravity Falls

-> Hunger Games, but I don't remember much from original series, I don't know where are my books xd I really like Ballad though

-> Owl House, but I'm not involved in fandom that much, when I finished the show, it was dead already xd

-> She-ra, same

And propably I forgot about something else, idk

INFO ABOUT ME:

Name: Derowen

It's celtic name, because I was obsessed with celtic culture back then and I really wanted my Sucrette in My Candy Love/Sweet Crush (it's "Sweet Flirt" in polish, I just googled how it's in english xd) to have a real name without any numbers and all and Derowen is the only one that this site accepted xd

I found out later that this is male name, but whatever xd I started to use it on other platforms as well and that's how it is

Pronouns: she/her

Nationality: Proud polish, too proud to not mention I'm polish every third post xd sorry, I had to

Age: 25yo

About any lgbt things, I simply don't know. Gender is very fluid term for me, based hardly on social constructs and while brains of women and men have some differences, they're not that drastic. And I still don't know if I'm bi or just really want to be different in any possible way (I'm Aquarius, we're like this xd) and if I'm on asexuality spectrum or just scared of relationships

I studied psychology for two years until my wallet decided that it's too much for me and still didn't decided if I'm ready to go back. And two years aren't much, but I started to see some things.

(Universities are actually for free in Poland if it's full-time, but I have to work and had some financial issues in the past and I'm not good at saving money xd)

☆ Aquarius Sun ☆ Aquarius Moon ☆ Sagittarius Rising ☆

INFJ

Dog person, but I love cats too. My Luna (dog) is the prettiest

And I don't know what else to say xd Enjoy your day. AND ASK ME QUESTIONS, I LOVE THEM

[derowen]

Milgram lgbt headcanons, since it's pride month, but I'm not sure about most of them xd

Es: nonbinary (canon) and... look, I like aroace, but they're supposed to represent us, so maybe pansexual aroace? Like, somewhere on aroace spectrum, but I'm not sure where exactly idk

Haruka: I don't fuckin' know and he doesn't know either xd I joked with my friend once, that it would be funny if he was the only one cis straight, while not looking like that, but honestly, it's Shidou lol. I feel like there's something nonbinary going on, but he doesn't care that much and I don't think he ever thinked about it really, so he can be whatever for me (nonbinary propably, idk, maybe pansexual)

Yuno: aroace or lesbian, idk, I'm not sure

Fuuta: gay or bi, but he thinks he's straight, because toxic masculinity thing (he still can doxx you for being homophobic though)

Muu: lesbian or pansexual, idk, definitelly sapphic, also in denial (also "dating isn't for high school girls", like she said in interrogation questions or something like that)

Shidou: straight

Mahiru: straight or bi, idk

Kazui: gay (I don't think he's not-cis, but I totally see him as drag queen, if he was brave enough xd)

Amane: who knows, idk, she can be whatever at this point, I don't have any vibes from her, sorry xd

Mikoto: gay or bi, but it depends on the alter too (Mido is nonbinary and aroace, John is gay, Kanto Miko can be different, but idk about it, Jane is straight or bi (and MtF, though, I'm not sure how it works in systems), Mikkun – child alter, I named him that xd – is just scared of people, idk)

Kotoko: LESBIAN (though, too focused on punishing the evil to care about relationships right now)

Jackalope: creepy straight rabbit

Anyway, happy pride month 🌈🎉

[derowen]

SO while I was still watching Milgram me and my friend (mostly me xd) created an AU.

Milgram doesn't exist, but they all are still murdurers. And all of them are somewhat connected to each other

(MikoFuu centered, but it's mostly crime, drama, action??? Xd)

(Also, I didn't wanted to make anything that solid, because we plan to do it as an rp and rp is more a spontanious thing, so we'll see how it'll look like.)

It starts from Fuuta. He was bored and once he saw a mystical message. Something about bringing justice to the world and proposition for meeting. At the place, he meets Kotoko and Es, two law students, who's hobby is finding wrongdoers and report them to the police. (Or killing them, but Es is unaware of that) And because Fuuta is social media expert, they recrute him lol

ALSO. Es still is 15 yo kid. They're also a genius, so they are finishing high school (the same class as Yuno and maybe Haruka, idk yet) and study law at the university as well, because they were too bored in normal school xd

Anyway, their case is Kayano Mikoto, who doesn't even know, what the hell they want from him, so he tries to prove, that HE NEVER EVER KILLED ANYBODY XD (Fuuta definitelly took a photo of his face immediatelly and was about to post it online, until Es took his phone with "Hey, hey, we need evidences first" and Fuuta was anxious for the rest of the meeting, because it's just the way it is, when your phone is in someone else's pocket xddd)

I'm still figuring out what to do with Kazui and Shidou? Anyway, I was thinking, that John maybe was arrested for minor things, like fights in the bar or something and that's how he knows Kazui, buuuuut idk. I think I'll wait for Requiem with this one. (And Shidou is the doctor, who is like "Kayano-kun, you should stop doing that, you appear here too often." Xd)

I also thought about making them Es's addoptive parents, buuuuut idk

Anyway, I think that Fuuta would doxx Killcheroy before all the action or during it, Kotoko finds out and attacks him, John attacks Kotoko, Fuuta is like "Oh, wtf, he cares????" or something like that idk. MikoFuu would have time to bond between the events ofcourse, but we'll see

We also wanted MikoFuu to illegally addopt Haruka and Muu, but I'm not entirelly sure how to do it xd I thought that Haru would kill his mom and maybe Fuuta, Es and Kotoko found him as one of their cases, buuuut idk about it

And Muu runned away from home, because her parents were terrified, that she killed someone and it was the first time, they didn't stand up for her or maybe she was just very afraid, that she would be arrested, idk. Anyway, I think that Haru found her and took her to MikoFuu xd (After Killcheroy Fuuta just addopts every kid in the way and Mikoto is like "...everyone have a hobby, I guess" xd)

(And maybe he sees them in himself, since they're also doomed with their crimes xjsjsbf)

I'm trying to convience my friend, that Amane isn't evil to also take her to this found family thing, but it's hard, guys xd But he didn't saw VD yet, so there's a hope, I think

I DON'T KNOW at all what to do with Mahiru xd Maybe Kazui found her in the forest, idk

I also thought about making Yuno a witness in some way, like, maybe she slept with someone, who they suspect of doing something bad, idk (I thought about Haru's father, buuuuut, I don't know)

I also thought about making second arc about JohnFuu+Es hunting Justice Alliance xd But we'll see, because we also thought about connecting it with our other rp, that takes action in China, sooo, we'll see

[derowen]

I wanted to do it xd

Explanation, from left to right, up to down:

1. I got into Milgram, because my friend was like "You will like Mikoto, it's your type of the character" and when he says that it usually means "There's tragic backstory behind this character" or "they're mentally ill" xd he's right

2. Almost everyday at least. I try to master all of them enough to sing them only with the text in front of my eyes, because I'm huge on karaoke sessions alone in my room. (Mikoto, take me to karaoke, please, we will singing Unravel, I want to hear Natsuki Hanae singing Unravel SO BAD. KANEKI, SING YOUR SINS.)

3. I genuinly DON'T KNOW what people have against half???? This song is so good??? My least favourite is Magic, because I don't really like those overly cute songs, not my type of music

4. She was in T1 and T2, but right now she's very forgivable. This bitch made me cry, I love her xd (It's not about what the certain person did for me, but what they think about it and if they feel remorse. And Muu changed her perspective. Right now the only person, who I think I would judge guilty is Kotoko, since she lost herself SO MUCH, buuuut, we'll see.)

5. From day one, tragic backstory + mentally ill, ofcourse I love him xd THIS FUCKING BASTARD MADE ME CRY. HIM AND MUU DJSBDJD THIS VIDEO WITH HIS DEATH WAS THE MOST CRUEL THING, YOU CAN DO TO THE PERSON.

6. Well, I would say that I'm REALLY disappointed in Kotoko, but hate is a very strong word. I'm not sure if I hate her, but dislike definitelly. I want to know, what is happening with her though.

7. I would do it in T2, Amane lost herself too </3. AND SHIDOU. Though, right now I'm voting her innocent, she showed remorse and want to change her view of the things and all, poor child

8. Look, if I was around during T1 I definitelly would vote her innocent. Maybe it's not good to play the god, but that's what everyone here do, right? Kotoko seemed more stable in T1, when I was reading and watching it for the first time, but right now she seems more like Fuuta – she does that only because she thinks, that she can't step back, because she's too proud to say, that she was wrong, because she want to feel better with herself – justice is just a cover. Or that's what I interprete it as.

9. Just check my blog xd But I also write very long messages to said friend, who introduced me to Milgram.

10. It's After Pain. Muu is my fave, but not top fave, top fave is Mikoto for now.

11. On one hand –> Jesus, this guy is so djdjwjsbx On the other hand I wonder if he's also not the one, who was forced to be here. Buuuut he have the same voice (i think???) like the mystery guy from one of the videos (I don't remember, when he appeared djdhdjd), so he can be also the mastermind behind all of this. Sooo I hate him, but also, who knows

12. Very much </3 Also, I'm afraid, that Mikoto would have to escape the country, if he wants therapy, because I'm not sure if he can avoid death penalty...

13. I never know what to do with Free Space xd

14. This one about Haruka killing Muu to make it less painfull for her, if he was voted innocent, but I don't see it right now. Sometimes the wildest things appear in my head xd

15. I love MeMe, but sorry Mikoto, Muu have magical voice

16. People were like "OMG, SOUNDS COOL" or just didn't listen xd Though, I told my mom every story of each prisoner, because I wanted to hear her opinion, she was really engaged (Haruka unforgiven, Yuno forgiven, Fuuta unforgiven, Muu forgiven, Shidou unforgiven, Mahiru forgiven, Kazui forgiven, Amane forgiven, if I remember correctly)

17. I had for every one of them, when I started watching, because it's fun, but right now, when I know almost everything, they're mostly wrong xd So, yup, I don't have much theories about characters I don't think too much. The least about Yuno propably.

18. YUP. I AM.

19. This Is How To Be In Love With You definitelly, because it's less sweet xd Sorry. Anyway, I love their voice and I am SO DISAPPOINTED we don't have more covers cry

20. HARUKA AND MUU

21. I'm not very familiar with Vocaloids, sorry xd

22. Yup yup yup. I relate to him, because I'm also addicted to the internet pathetic little coward LOL XD Though, I'm a lot nicer. (And taller, I have 175 cm xddd) + divorce, complicated relationship with parents, no friends irl, depression, check, check, check (Oh, and I'm prettier)

23. I checked dm with my friend, and I said, she's guilty back then, but I was speeding through videos, because I wanted to VOTE XD Though, I'm not really sure, what I would do, because normally I would have much more time for reflection. I said guilty back then, because I interpreted, that she killed Rei, because she didn't helped her and it felt like not enough reason to kill someone for me. Buuuut I don't know what I would think, if I was there during T1.

24. Pfffff, I had work xd Not possible, but I watched every time I had opportunity to. Also, I needed time to rumble to my friend too xd (And sometimes I just didn't feel like it, so it took me... a few weeks, I think?)

25. YUP. I love Mozaik Role a lot, also Otome Dissection and Monopoisoner

I hope I didn't make any mistakes with this xd

[derowen]

Of your Tokyo Ghouls faves, how do you think they would twerk?

LMAO WHAT XD

Honestly, I don't know how to answer this question xd

Uhm...

Kaneki wouldn't, because he's stiff like a broomstick, but Haise would and propably Saiko was the one, who made them do it. (Every quinx beside Kuki, because he's also stiff xd) I don't think, they good at it though...

Juuzou may be the one doing it right, he seem to have good balance

Akira is stiff, Amon is stiff, Hide would do it (he's bad at it), Tsukiyama thinks that it's stupid, Chie just refuses just because, Ayato also thinks it's stupid, Hinami would feel embarassed I think? Idk. Touka also would think it's stupid, same Nishiki, but he would do it (really wrong and complaining the whole time) if Kimi asked him to.

I personally never learn how to do it right xd

I don't really play faverites in this franchise, so I just took characters, who came to my mind.

I mean I really was obsessed only with Juuzou and Kaneki, Ayato a little

Idk xd

[derowen]

Okay, I analyzed Neoplasm's translation on Mihareze yesterday and I think that Mikosys were rapid switching, until John came out.

First off: I'm just a singlet, who is really crazy about psychology and Mikosys, so I'm not an expert at all. I studied psychology for 1,5 year, until I got expelled, because money. (My grades were excellent though and I miss my group a loooot. Anyway, I have some basic knowledge about psychology.) I also lurk in OSSDID subreddit, read articles, I started Mr. Robot recently, I read a lot of different takes from different people about Mikosys (and other fictional characters, who have/is coded as DID/OSDD), so I'm in the middle of the research.

I also don't know any japanese and I am fully aware, that there can be some translation errors.

So feel free to complain and point out any mistakes in my thinking, BE BLUNT. (Especially if you are a system/have better knowledge about psychology/know japanese)

Anyway:

This feels like he was disociating really hardly, until he finally "waked up". And because he just saw the chains and was surprised about it, I assume, that it was John earlier and Jackalope propably tied him to the chair with his psychic powers (Since Jacka did the same in the novel once).

(And I don't think, that Es could want to do it by themself sjsbxhdb)

Specifically, I think that it would be T1 John, since he uses different way of spelling ore:

And he uses different dialect:

T2 John also seems more relaxed, but he isn't surprised by the chains, sooo I don't really have anything to support it xd It's just a hinch, that T1 John would be more likely to come out, when Jackalope was tying them to the chair, since he's the more aggresive one (physical abuse protector?)

Anyway, this Mikoto also seems to be different than T1 Mikoto, because T1 Mikoto speaks in standard japanese, while T2 Mikoto speaks in Kanto dialect. (Though they both use the kanji spelling of "boku")

Also, I'm not sure if it's not a translation error or something else, but the adnotation about Kanto dialect doesn't appear at the begging of the interrogation, so it feels like he switched during it, buuuut other adnotations feel like he was talking Kanto dialect the whole time (I'm clueless here xd)

Anyway, there's a pasue:

And the third adnotation is about Kanto dialect:

The fourth is about falling pitch in boku, associated with childish way of speaking (child alter?) and it feels like they switched, when Es was talking (and propably started dissociating, when he said "here"), because when I was listening to it, the "huh" sounded like "Wait, can you repeat?" xd Buuut idk

We have a pause again, and the fifth adnotation is about talking in "cute" way, like a high school girl.

And here we have John finally:

Sixth adnotation is about Edo dialect/Kanto "roughspeak"

It also seems interesting, that he (she?) said, what he/she said, because it feels like they had this experience of amnesia for a long time. SCREW YOU, PEOPLE, WHO THINK THAT MIKOTO IS A BAD SYSTEM REP HEHEHE

(Sorry, I got emotional xd)

(Well, beside the "criminal" stereotype)

John also said, that Mikoto (kanji spelling of boku) was the one, who wanted to destroy everything, so it feels like he was the one, who killed and giving the fact how he was screaming on s2 trailer... I feel like Mikosys were really miserable in the time and was through A LOT.

I'm suspicious not only about his father but also about his mom? She also have to have her own issues, so I imagine, that their relationship isn't sunshine and rainbows too, but they're definitelly close. (It can be because I'm myself also a child of divorced parents and while I love my mom, who raised me and my brother, ugh, I hate her a lot too, we said really awful things to each other and she's the reason of the most of the issues I have)

So I imagine that Mikoto's mom loved him deeply and they are very close, but she wasn't the best mom ever too. I headcanon parentification, maybe some alcohol addiction, idk

And we can't really trust Mikoto, when he says, that everything's alright xd He can lie, not say the whole truth or remember it wrong

I'm also leaning more and more into Mikoto being a polyfrag subsystem xd But who knows

This image is suspicious too xd:

(Also it would be fine as a symbolism, if there were 9 alters in the system)

Edit: I did the math xd Right now I can count 8:

1. T1 Mikoto (standard japanese, kanji boku)

2. MeMe Mikoto, but it can be just John spelling boku with katakana for some reason, sooo idk (in the verse that says "I'll (katakana) be the one to save me (kanji)"

3. T1 John (Yonezawa dialect, ore in kanji)

4. T2 Mikoto (Kanto dialect, kanji boku)

5. Mikoto with boku with falling pitch (still kanji)

6. Mikoto talking "girly"

7. T2 John (Edo dialect, ore in katakana)

8. T3 Mikoto (Kansai dialect)

[derowen]

Doodles of concepts for Fuuta's family, I can't decide if I should give Shoichi some facial hair or not xd

I wanted to make Youko kind of androgynous and kind of rockish, because I headcanon, that Fuuta took his anarchistic view about the world from her xd Idk, I imagine, that she was tired of society, being a housewife, having responsibillities, maybe she felt too young to have kids and husband and wanted something MORE (and propably had some kind of mental illness, since it's really rare to give the custody over the child to father in Japan, so I feel like she was feeling like a burden to this family and that's why she divorced. She was just feeling like she can't really be a mother for them)

And it broke Fuuta's heart and that's why he said in his interrogation questions, that "Admiring is losing." And what he admired and lost was his mother

For Nagisa, I wanted to make her super stylish and super feminine, for the contrast and because she's a beautician, so I googled 'popular japanese hairstyles' xd I saw the girl with Yumeko's cut and I was like "I DON'T CARE, I TAKE IT" XD (I think she can have two-colored hair, maybe ginger+blond, maybe highlights, maybe blond inside and ginger outside, I'm not sure)

(I like to imagine, that her fiance is a dentist, so both of them go to Fuuta and complain, that he doesn't take enough care of himself lol)

Not much thoughts about Shoichi, he's just an office guy xd

Eeee, about headcanons/theories, I think that he have troubles with communication with his kids, especially since the divorce. Better with Nagisa though, propably. And terrible with Fuuta xd I think, that Fuuta blames him a lot for the divorce, and why his mom leaved them. (Though, he's propably angry at her too.) I don't also think that Shoichi really understands, what Fuuta is going through and calls him lazy for coping with his issues with video games, ("Depression? Never heared of that"), he also influanced a lot of misogynistics conceptions into him. It's not like he doesn't love or care for him, they just fight a lot about stupidiest things.

(I think they might watch a lot of soccer matches together)

Fuuta definitelly calls his dad by his name, when he's really pissed off xd

I was laughing with my friend once, that if Fuuta calls him "dad", while on the phone, he would be like "Dad? Not father? Not even old man? What happened, do you need money???" Xd

[derowen]

I like to think that Mikoto hugs his sister a lot, teases her jokingly, buys her gifts and they're sweet as hell in general

Meanwhile Fuuta and Nagisa look at each other and they're like "Ewwww" xd

(Yuno is middle ground, I think)

[derowen]

Mikofuu nsfw headcanons I guess:

The way I see it with MikoFuu sexual positions is:

-> Fuuta is a huge bottom, but mostly because he panicks a lot, when he's on top, because WHAT SHOULD HE DO, because his whole experiance with sex is otome games xd He needs some time to encouragement I guess?

And because he zones out a little, because Omg, those abs, how the fuck his skin is so soft, what the fuck xd

(He himself like never takes off his shirt, because he hates his body)

(Not in trans way though, in "gender stereotypes suck" type of shit, but interprate it like you want, I guess)

He think it's like sport and he lies about thinks he can't handle xjsndnd It pisses all Mikosys off

-> Mikoto is power bottom, but he's actually okay with everything, that not includes pain, like bitting or slapping, because trauma™ He also likes to tease Fuuta, but rather lightly and is kind of goofy xd But also super caring???

-> John is top dom and rough, teases a lot and calls him slurs. But everything is with consent, so don't worryyyy. He would be the one to scream at Fuuta, if he doesn't care about himself, that's what I imagine, okay xd Rough caring or something, idk

-> Mido is basically aroace, but also like "Idc, whatever", but I don't really have that much thought about him/them, idk what to call this semi-canon guy (I'm waiting for Requiem at this point xd)

[derowen]

Enjoy my screwed up fanart, that meaned to be just a made pure of boredom sketch of Mikofuu at Harry Potter Expo Date (because there's one near Killcheroy's school xd I looked it up on Google Maps), but I started to FUCK WITH PAINTS and my brushes are TOO FUCKING THICK

(Mikoto meaned to wear a chain with the symbol of Deathly Hallows, connected to his pants, but I fucked it up xd)

I'm too lazy to fix it for now dhdbdhdhd Or redraw on some normal paper, because that's what I should propably do xd

[derowen]

Sometimes, when I read fanfics I have a feeling that young Americans are highly infected by their hatred towards cigs, when they include smoking in their works. It may be just me, but I live in the country and growed up in the environment, when it's actually harder to know someone, who doesn't smoke, than someone, who does and I feel weird, when characters acts like they hate everything about cigs, because... Well, I don't smoke, but I feel very neutral about it. Like, I know, that it's bad, don't get me wrong. I don't like the smell too. And it's expensive. (But maybe because I also know how drinking is bad, because some of my relatives are addicted, so I see cigs as a little better addiction, I don't know.)

It just... Idk, it feels weird. It have sense, if the work itself is about Americans, but I read right now something about japanese people, and cigs are a big part of the character in it, and oh my god, this hatred feels so weird to me, especially that it's so intense. (But, well the fic itself is about intense emotions too, so I don't know.) But maybe it's because I'm not addicted. I'm not also actually sure what japanese people think about cigarettes. Just... I just have my thoughts. As someone from slavic country, and with expariances I have, with my fucked up personality. I don't know. I just wanted it out.

I may talk bullshit hahaha

(It sounds chaotic, sorry, I'm not pretty okay today)

[derowen]

Okay, Mikosys would be so funny as a vampire

John kills overnight and Mikoto is like "Oh no, all this work caused me an anemia and some kind of eating disorder!" Xd

He goes to doctor, blacks out during the visit, wakes up a few hours later and is like "Nooo, not this amnesia again, I don't even know what doctor saaaaaid..." and then he sees in the tv that said doctor is fucking dead. But at least he's not hungry anymore!

We were joking with my friend that Fuuta would follow them around, begging them to bite him, because then he would have an excuse to not go outside ever again xd

John: FUCK OFF, WEIRDO.

Mikoto: Excuse me??? You're kinda kinky, huh...

Fuuta's plan for life includes: he orders the food, eats the delivery man, gives them 0 stars and "What a scam, they didn't even showed up" xd

[derowen]

I don't know if I should call it a headcanon or a theory, buuuut

I was thinking recently a lot about why Mikoto is so fake and people-pleasing, that he made his whole personality about being LIKEBLE (in the karaoke collab he said that he mastered his friends favourite songs, look at this poseur xd)

First thought was that it could came up from the abuse of his father, and at the core propably did. (Childhood trauma believer here, my hopes are high.) That maybe he learned to look at his father's behaviour, be calculated and careful with his own behaviour and words to not make him angry and not get hitted.

Second thought: he was bullied. Propably in middle school. (Maybe in elementary too, but it fits better in my thoughts if it got much much worse in middle school)

Reason? Because he was weird and poor. (And maybe because he's kinda fruity, but idk about this one xd) Anyway, he said in his interrogation questions, that his mom told him, that the reason for the divorce was that his father chose work other family and I think it would be kind of true. I think that he had it bad in his work and that's why he became violent with his family. Maybe he didn't make much money too, just enough to survive, maybe there was also alcohol addiction or something, idk

And after the divorce... Single mothers in Japan have really hard time, especially with two kids (one is already hard to take care of, when you don't have much help from your family/friends and you're not make enough money) and with the fact, that Mrs. Kayano propably have her own trauma. Soooo I imagine that they were extremally poor. (Kinda coping, because same xd Though my father wasn't abusive at least...)

Anyway, I know that mikosys was propably masking, but kids in school would propably see that he behaves a little weirdly + he propably had depression and ptsd + if he was poor, he couldn't afford things that were popular among kids his age, and was wearing second-hand clothes (though, idk if it have any impact with school uniforms?????)

And if he was living in some small town or a village (propably was, looking that he said that "he wants to show his sister how her big bro is working in big city") all people there propably knew something about his life situation and gossiped.

So kids bullied him. And I think it would be the form of bullying by rejection the most? Because it fits xd That the whole class behaved like he doesn't exist. Rip Mikoto The Extrovert xd

Anyway, Mikoto as an alter formed (or developed, if he existed before or just became a new host) somewhere between middle school and high school to fit in and become a popular fun goofy guy, we know today, so he WON'T ever be bullied again. He was 15 and at 15 in Japan you can work, so I think he would totally do that to help his mom a little and work on his image. (I totally see him buying his sister infrared tamagotchi or whatever was popular among girls her age in that time as a first thing when he got his first money to raise her social status a little. "Take it to school tommorrow and show off to your friends")

(I want older brother like that xd)

(I bet, he teases her jokingly a lot)

He started being interested in fashion, raised his grades, became friendly with everyone and people-pleasing to the excess. Maybe got a girlfriend just because she was pretty and popular and his friends told him they look cute together lol

(And if he was living in a village or small town, he could attend to the school in bigger city nearby and get rid of the gossips, propably)

(I also feel like today Mikoto would be different alter than high school Mikoto, because I swear, everything this guy is talking about is his job xd)

T1 Mikoto is working Mikoto alter and T2 Mikoto would be high school Mikoto idk

(I seen on Tumblr someone talking that they would be different alters and that T2 may be a little, but idk, he can be just fruity too)

Edit: ooooor Middle School Mikoto, looking how depressed he is in Neoplasm xd idk (okay, I'm still a little confused with names, but what age is a Little really xd Is it a name for *kids kids* or any alter below 18?) Anyway, still it can be a teenage girl or fruity teenage boy, but I don't know any japanese, so idk xd It works either way for me

(I might or might not got inspirated by Two-Face's backstory xd)

Tell me if something feels off, because I'm in the middle of the research about DID, and I could fuck something up (especially that english isn't my mother language and it seems like polish psychology doesn't focus much at this disorder? So it's hard to find some complex information about it. But ngl polish psychology sucks a little, it's not that complex like in USA for example, I feel. I didn't read much about it, but Google told me they misdiagnose DID as BPD or bipolar disorder often, if I remember correctly, because polish psychology is more focused on those two disorders. NPD became a popular topic recently in mainstream too)

(I wonder what it looks like in Japan. It have to be different, because different culture and all, so I assume they have some specific for their country conseptions)

(I feel like I sound like I hate mikosys, BUT NO, I LOVE THEM, I just like to tease my favs, okay? xd)

[derowen]

I can't decide between Fuuta's hair being "he dyes them ginger", "anime logic color hair" and "he's in this less than 1% of Japanese people with ginger hair"

But propably just anime logic xd

[derowen]

Wild thought, but I'm almost sure that if Mahiru was voted innocent in T1, she would get a boyfriend. And you know what would be the biggest disaster?

Kazui.

Kazui, who is like "I should never tell Hinako the truth and I won't say it Mahiru", and Mahiru, who starts to idealize their love, Kazui himself and asks Es to officiate at the wedding lol

[derowen]

You know what?

(My friend recently stated that when I say "you know what" it's the most scary thing and... well, it's not entirely true, but this time IT IS)

I think that previous Haruka's idea was to kill Muu, if she got the guilty verdict. (And, if Kotoko stayed innocent propably, but idk, Haruka would not found out about it or didn't think that much)

He had some kind of agreement with Kotoko and she said, that she "would like to do it on her own" or something like that, so that's my assumption. That he wanted to kill Muu, before Kotoko would do that to make it less painfull for her.

Aaaand propably then kill himself as well

[derowen]

It's so funny to me that this guy from Harrow looks so similar to Fuuta and this blond guy from MeMe ALSO looks like him (I realized it when I watched Es Cover, since it's in black n white filtr)

Like, Imagine Kotoko and John looking at Fuuta like he killed their grandma and he's like "THE HELL DID I DO"