today has been so hard. it’s probably been one of the worst days I’ve ever had. I feel absolutely terrible and i feel like dying. It’s so hard to hear when someone has to walk away from a relationship you thought would last well into the future. I know that I’ve played a part in how things turned out but I wish things were different. I wish that I would’ve realized sooner that just because you were always the one to initiate the hard conversations it wasn’t necessarily the role you liked playing. I wish that tomorrow you would wake up and realize that this can work and that me taking on some of the emotional burden of a relationship would help you feel more secure. I wish that I knew how to help you with your self esteem and that I could be everything that you needed. All I can think of right now is how I feel like nothing has meaning and I’m just here rotting in my bed drowning in my tears. All our memories are coming to the surface and they’re playing like a movie in my head. It’s really hard to think of those times because now I just feel like I’ll never see you again, and just like that you’re a stranger. I can’t take these sad feelings I’m just so hurt and broken. I feel stupid that I didn’t notice when you were so desperately wanting me to be the one to bring things up. It hurts to know that I did this, i messed up. I wish I could have one more chance. I wish that it was easier not to text you. I wish that this didn’t hurt so much. I love you so much and i just don’t want to let you go..what am I supposed to do?
