LET'S GIVE THEM HELL.

( i'll live to suffer another day. )

[willprevail-moved-deactivated20]

                                                           ` @despaierd.

       ` I appreciate your help in this. ’

[despaierd-blog]

            “OF COURSE, the pleasure is all mine.”

            “NOW THEN, HOW will I be servicing you?”

[seraphid]

         ❛ i don’t need to deceive you, though. ❜ singsong cadence carries the underlying promise of a struggle, just for the sake of it, to keep his fingers from twitching to sheathed naginata. ❛ i’ve already got you where i want you! i don’t see the harm in dropping the cloak for a while, if you keep it between us. ❜ 

      for all the syrup he pours forth there’s a lasting stutter in his satisfaction– is he so easily read by anyone who bothers to look? so easily bested by one that he captured? ❛ oh? so was being thrown in here a part of some master plan you have yet to reveal, then? color me humbled. we’re all just pawns on your board, aren’t we? will you make me king, for my troubles? ❜

    ❛ subtlety, once you’ve reached a certain pinnacle, is useless– anyone could look at me and know it was false. hmm? what’s that… some nohrian training technique? ❜

[despaierd-blog]

            “HMM, I WOULDN’T BE AS PRESUMPTUOUS as to say I intended on getting captured, though of course that would be the first assumption made by someone like you. Play it as if it weren’t a folly, then get upset when you’re called out.”

            “YOU’RE NOT QUITE dropping the cloak though -- aren’t we playing games here? Come now, you haven’t quite exposed yourself completely, haven’t you? Lay yourself bare before before you lie like that.”

& ZERO LAUGHED, A hand over his mouth as Tsubaki continued further, questioning his ridiculous suggestion with sweet ignorance ( you don’t even realize you’re being mocked, mister know - it - all! ). 

            “OH YES, IT’S a very valuable technique. We simulate the conditions of low friction by applying oil to our bodies. Then, we practice various situational grappling techniques in efforts to learn how to throw off our opponent even in situations where we don’t have very good grip. Since subtlety doesn’t quite work for you, I’ll try being a little more explicit. It’s very intimate.” 

[despaierd-blog]

me: logs on just to be gay

me: haha nice

[seraphid]

     ❛ pretentious though i may be, don’t you think there’s a certain beauty to it? i’d think you of all people could appreciate someone so willing to play games. ❜ eyes widen for a fraction of time at those words before they roll back in an attempt at masking his surprise. a willingness to play games is vital.

    ❛ ahaha– i’m sure you’d like that, wouldn’t you? i was sent to try and persuade you, so if a spar is what you’re after i’m not unwilling… if only because i live to serve.❜

[despaierd-blog]

            CERULEAN EYES WIDENED, a brow rising as his smirk became honest, a countenance of falsified humor made reality as he hummed, a finger tracing over his lip, hand on his chin in piqued interest.

            “AAAH ... I SEE how it is ...” he grinned wickedly. “Yes, I’d say there is a certain beauty in deceit. But it’s only of any good if it goes by undetected, dear jailer. You haven’t quite perfected that art, despite your numerous other successes, so I’d try to find something else to brag about. Something that isn’t about your servitude, I’d recommend; you unfortunately aren’t able to trump me in that aspect, and I’d hate to wound your pride even further.” 

            “THOUGH I CAN see the art of subtlety isn’t quite your thing either. But if it’s a spar you’re after, then so be it. May I suggest low - friction tactical grappling & strategy?”

[despaierd-blog]

im going to be back once i finish revamping my theme and stuff (it hasnt been like a month and im already not satisfied l;KMSFD;SLKK) but headcanons !!

zero does not carry his quiver on his back; he keeps it at his hip. this way his arrows are more accessible to him and have a better chance of staying on him even if he falls or something

he keeps his quiver at his hip, but in - battle he actually grabs a bunch at once and hold them with the hand he uses to draw the arrow, so he can shoot consecutively and faster so that he doesn’t have to go back to reach for another arrow, cutting down on the reload time

he only shoots from his left, becuase he can only see from his left eye.

he does this because he didn’t actually get any formal training in archery so his technique is less about proper form and more about winning

because of this, he’s very flexible in shooting from different positions and mid-air

though he does mind the number of arrows he has, he definitely runs out mid-battle (it still baffles me how archers dont run out in movies and shows) & if he’s not around someone who can lend him some / the convoy, he’ll grab the ones he’s already used and shoot with them again.

zero obviously hangs around odin & leo the most, since theyre his co-retainer & lord respectively, but both of them are magic users / tome wielders and he is not. because of this, he has higher resistance to magic attacks & is very good at detecting an attack & reacting to it (usually damaging the tome with a few arrows does the job, but if not the tome, the enemy obviously goes down)

in - game he ‘reclasses’ to adventurer but in - writing he just learned how to use staves because of the amount of times odin got himself hurt. plus it was just a useful skill to learn in general. he’s never thought he’d be the one to learn to heal before, since he’s so big on making others hurt, so he finds the whole thing kind of funny.

though his class dictates that he only knows archery (and later, healing), he’s still capable of close - combat, at least in my writing. he keeps throwing knives on him, which he uses for both close and long distance fighting. from his time as a thief, hes had to have become good at melee, & it’s actually his specialty, but he greatly prefers using a bow & arrow because it feels much more dignified.

[despaierd-blog]

[7:10:29 PM] MR. PERFECT. ☆: did zero become an archer so he knew two ways to make you quiver

[bisexualhoe]

I hope no one lowkey hates me. Highkey hate me. Hate me with every fiber of your being. Go big or go home

[despaierd-blog]

quick tag dump !

[despaierd-blog]

‘ Can you maybe chill? ’

the history of hoshido.

            HE LEANED FORWARD, proximity uncomfortably close, a sly smile wedged upon a face that looked close to breaking out in laughter.

            “HOW ABOUT MAYBE you chill?”

[spiritdanced]

❛ history of japan ❜ starter meme

So I saw this video for the first time and I’m trash so take this and enjoy it. (Or not. That’s cool). Feel free to change/add/whatever anything to make it fit. Blanks mean “insert your word here” I guess.

‘ Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s B E A U T I F U L. ’

‘ It’s b e a u t i f u l. ’ 

‘In the year negative a billion ______ might not have been here. ’

‘ And now there’s lots of trees. Because it’s warmer. ’

‘ They’re basically hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees. ’ 

‘ Ding dong, it’s the outside world. ’

‘ They have technology from the future. Like really good metal. And crazy rice farms. ’

‘ That means that if you own the farm, you own the food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you King. ’

‘ A heavenly super person, or Emperor for short. ’

‘ Knock, knock. Get the door. It’s religion. ’

‘ Please try this religion. ’

‘ Then the government was taken over by another clique. ’

‘ Can you call us something else, other than dipshit? ’

‘ How about ‘Sunrise Land’? ’

‘ They conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. ’

‘ They really didn’t give a shit about running a country. ’

‘ How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ’

‘ Hire a samurai. ’

‘ Everyone started hiring a samurai. ’

‘ Correction: rich people hired a samurai. ’

‘ They let the Emperor still be “Emperor”. ’

‘ Breaking news: The Mongols have invaded _____. ’

‘ We’ve invaded _____. Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well. ’

‘ So the ______ came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. ’

actually a Typhoon

‘ And the Emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants. That’s fine. ’

‘ It’s time for Who’s Going to be the Next Shogun? ’

‘ So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk. ’

‘ Everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. ’

‘ Knock knock, it’s Europe. ’

‘ No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. ’ 

‘ Like clocks, and guns, and Jesus. ’

‘ Now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China, he said. And failed. And also died. ’

‘ A lot of people support him. But a lot of people support not supporting him. ’

‘ No one can leave and no one can come in. Except the _____. ’

‘ Knock knock. It’s the United States. ’

‘ Somehow made the Emperor the Emperor again. ’

‘ And you know what else is western? That’s right, conquering stuff. ’

‘ Stop, no, you can’t take that. We were going to build a railroad through here to try and get some warm water. ’

‘ Can you maybe chill? ’

(scared of russia)

‘ ___ make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. ’

[You’ve got mail].

‘ im interested in taking over the world, and i was wondering if you could be my friend. ’

(1) new war request.

[despaierd-blog]

im a bad boy i need 2 write if u dont write im gonna start a fight if u feel like writin write w me like this post & ill write a starter for free

[seraphid]

      oh, that’s him! flawless, internally thrilled with himself and how he shone like spun silk against these dusty walls. ( you’d be lucky if you ever saw anything so bright or so beautiful again, you spoil of war. ) 

❛ drab as the scenery may be, i’m here for the company– although that’s more than a little drab as well. ❜ the picture of serenity seats himself feet away, gloved hands at his thighs.

   ❛ your concern is so kind! thank you for doting on me this way… if only i could return your favor. are you hungry? ❜

[despaierd-blog]

            “I ALWAYS TRY TO EXTENT A HAND OF COMPASSION, even to the most pretentious of jailers,” he quipped, crossing his legs and leaning forward, chin in palm, elbow on knee. “Unfortunately, I can’t offer much else. Unless you prefer something more bodily ... perhaps then you’d think of me as less ‘drab’.”

            “WE COULD ALWAYS try satiating my hunger that way.”

[despaierd-blog]

OKAY BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS zero is demisexual -- he makes plenty of sex jokes and whatnot and everything he says is basically an innuendo but it’s not indicative of him actually being thirsty it’s just to get people off his back or upset them for fun. he does not have a positive history w The Sex & would prefer not engaging if he can help it thank u for tuning in.

[seraphid]

    there’s something even more self-satisfied than usual in the curve of his lips as he approaches the thief’s enclosure, a flip of soft strands shaking back russet. ❛ we meet again, zero. is my face as infuriating as you recalled? ❜ @despaierd

[despaierd-blog]

            & THERE HE IS! Mister oh - so - perfect, with his countenance of composure, the slightest hint of egotistical arrogance laced in smug expression.                 ( & what would you look, i wonder, when that vainglory turns to misery? )

            “ACTUALLY, I’M IMPRESSED! Not only do you manage to appear so pompous in a place like this, but you’ve even gone as far as to survive a whole two minutes within this state of destitution -- without breaking into tears!”

            “ARE YOU SURE you’re gonna make it?”

[seraphid]

so in other news zero’s single now…. hit him up for an awful, terrible time…

[despaierd-blog]

BUT BABE ...............................

[seraphid]

hey tsubaki whats ur favorite flavor of sandwich

     i enjoy the footlong with roast beef, as you know very well…

[despaierd-blog]