This Is Who I Am

Desarae Kneel. 24. Freedom: To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing

[divergents]

…..Yes?

Yes!

[thesedarkcafedays]

Beauty and the Beast: 1.16 Insatiable

[weredestined]

[karlurbanana]

[dessie-kneel]

Roxie could pick up something was wrong with Dessie, but if the roles were reversed she would hate to have someone try to pry into her life. Some things were meant to be private. “You’re welcome Dess. It’s no big deal. Now you can relax. I have Jack. If that’s okay with you.” Roxie moved into the kitchen and pulled out to glasses and reached above the fridge for the bottle of booze.

"Just knowing that one of these days I will be coming back here with a home cooked meal and you have to accept it. Thanks, jack is fine with me. It's just want I needed," she leaned back against the wall taking a deep breath. It felt like the first time she'd taken one since she'd gotten home. It hurt. "How are you?"

[dessie-kneel]

Job Hunting,

[dessie-kneel]

Grayson watched her carefully for a moment, pressing his lips together in a thin line. Huh. He thought for sure saying that would have gotten… an opposite effect. God he really didn’t understand this situation. “I know… Just unhealthy to avoid the grief isn’t it?” Releasing a sigh, Grayson motioned to his body, as if pointing out the lack of injuries. “I’m fine. I had to for work. It’s no big deal. You forgot my tendency to rub people the wrong way.” 

"It's also unhealthy to be a habitual liar and getting punched in the face repeatedly. That's one blow closer to Dementia." Dessie tossed back, nothing that she shouldn't be so callous. "You have a tendency to get your ass kicked and one day you're going to get shot. I hope you're telling the truth because I really don't need to be scraping brain matter off the ground."

[dessie-kneel]

How do I go looking for trouble? I don’t look for it, I try to stop it. That’s my job, that’s what I promised to do. To protect you and everyone else in this damned city. I’m not quitting my job, I’m not giving up. If I die in the line of duty, then so be it.

You know that in a lot of the situations you've been in were on the account of your heart speaking before your head. You want to save everyone and you refuse to see reason. you'd put your life on the line for people who most definitely don't deserve it. I bet if they had the chance they'd shoot you in the back. I'm not asking you to quit your job, that's apart of who you are. I am asking you to be smart about it and stop putting yourself before the barrel of gun. 

[beautyandthebeastlovers]

[weredestined]

beauty and the beast rewatch:     ↳ season one | 10. Seeing red (part 1 of 2)

[doku-sama-219-deactivated201901]

Here's Some Drabbles:

Leave a “Amuse Me" in my ask, and I will write a funny drabble about my character trying to cheer your up.

Leave a “Break Me" in my ask, and I will write an angsty drabble about our characters.

Leave a “Call Me" in my ask, and I will write a drabble about my character asking for yours [be it at the brink of death/in a battlefield/knocking on the front door wounded, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Drink Me" in my ask, and I will write a drabble about my character taking shots with yours.

Leave a “Enamor Me" in my ask, and I will write a fluffy drabble about my character trying to woo yours [be it out of the blue/Valentines Day,feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Fight Me" in my ask, and I will write a drabble out my character fighting with/or against yours.

Leave a “Get Me" in my ask, and I will write a drabble about my character saving yours.

Leave a “Haunt Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character watching over yours[as a ghost, watching from a distance, or otherwise, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Invite Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character asking your character to

Leave a “Join Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character giving your character an offer [be it a proposal for an alliance, asking them to join them in an activity (you can get dirty if you want), feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Kill Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character killing yours.

Leave a “Love Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a fluffy drabble about our characters.

Leave a “Mourn Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character mourning your character’s death.

Leave a “Nurse Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character healing yours.

Leave a “Offer Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character giving yours a gift.

Leave a “Paint Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character drawing a picture of yours [like one of your french girls~ be it painting them or drawing them, maybe offering a picture of them as a gift, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Quite Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character trying to calm yours down [be it from crying, from lashing out, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Remember Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character trying to get yours to remember them [be it from an accident, meeting them after years apart, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Shag Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a dirty drabble about our characters.

Leave a “Tell Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character confessing something to yours [be it a love confession, a secret, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Unbind Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about your character freeing mine, or the other way around, or something among the lines [be it freeing them from jail, from handcuffs, from a trap, from a curse, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “Value Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about my character telling yours how they feel about them.

Leave a “Wed Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about our character under the subject of wedlock [be it my character proposing to yours, or marrying yours, feel free to specify.]

Leave a “X Me" in my ask, and I will write whatever it is that you wish, [specify.]

Leave an “Yahoo Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about our characters celebrating something [feel free to specify.]

Leave an “Zip Me" in my ask, and I’ll write a drabble about your character dressing mine, or the other way around [this can also be used for shutting them up as well, but feel free to specify.]

[dessie-kneel]

I’m a cop, Des. That’s my job to put my life on the line. 

You don't put yourself life on the line. You go out looking for trouble and one day it's going to kill you. I can't lose another person because I don't think I could handle it. I lost my dad, I don't need to lose anyone else.

[dessie-kneel]

Do what you have to do Des. Don’t come back if it’ll only hurt you. Maybe we can’t. I was stupid for thinking other wise.

You promised me that you'd protect me no matter what. I don't want to ever feel weak like that again, its why I left. I don't want you and boys to go up in flame if no one is there help. No..no you weren't stupid for thinking otherwise. You're not the only one who wanted something more out of this. I just don't know who do this. I don't know how to be with you and fear that you're going to die.

[dessie-kneel]

Roxie was not prepared for the girls reaction, but laughed hugging them back. “I love you too?” She took a step back and took the stairs up to her apartment that was over top of one of the convenience stores. It wasn’t the best places to live in but the rent was cheap and it made due for what she needed. “You don’t owe me anything Dessie. Well hopefully this will put you on the right side. Did you want something to drink?”

Dessie nodded softly following behind her quickly; She thought that maybe is she kept moving it would be easier for her to keep all those frayed pieces of herself contained. "I do and you're going to accept it because you're so sweet and a savior! I hope so and I really hope that it'll turn it all around. Do you have anything stronger than water?"

[dessie-kneel]

I’m not going to yell at you. It’s just hard to believe that when you up and left and now you’re looking for a new job. I didn’t even hear one word about it from you. I thought we were friends.. or.. I don’t know something more special than that. We would talk about all kinds of things and now it’s like we don’t know each other anymore. I just want things to go back to where they were. Before we kissed and everything else. 

You know why I am looking for a new job if you dont want me to leave, I'll come back. I don't know what happened between us. It's just the pressure is too insurmountable and I didn't know how to talk to you anymore. I miss my friend and I need him. I need him more now that ever and I feel like I ruined that. I keep ruining it. We were something special but I..maybe we can't ever be more than this. Friends.

[dessie-kneel]

Job Hunting,

[dessie-kneel]

"That’s not exactly what I meant, Sweetheart. You’re allowed to be upset.” Glancing towards the ground, Grayson’s mind drifted to the past few days, knowing he’d spent more than an unhealthy amount of time locked up in his own home, some form of alcoholic beverage in his hand at every possible moment. Meeting her gaze once more, the man shifted slightly, his shoulders shrugging absently. “Just around the outskirts of town, and I’m fine. I don’t get my shit kicked in all the time…” 

"I know what I am allowed to be and what I am not allowed to be. I am the one who doesn't want to be sad anymore. He's dead, people die." Her emotions ebbed like an unwavering sea, warring behind her eyes. "Why on the outskirts of town? Are you fine? You do have poor timing and terrible luck."

[dessie-kneel]

Maybe I’m still alittle upset I dont know. I just don’t like the idea that you may dip out on me again. 

You're allowed to be upset, Warren. Scream at me, tell me how terrible I am, go ahead. Whatever will make you feel better. I'm not going anywhere. I have no where else to be.

[oh-teen-posts]