Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@destructoxgirl
I’ll be moving this blog and all my threads for Buffy to my multi-muse. I only have one steady writing partner here and I’m a lot more active over there. It’s nothing against anyone here. I love this blog and the people here, but for my own sanity and for the sake of my muse and her relationships, I need to just have everything in one place. Find me here:
@neverlandxruined
@dxmnxdxniel
yourwxrstnightmare:
Elijah let out a slow breath, closing his eyes as he reeled in his anger and resentment—not at her, but the situation, the unfairness of it all—before he turned to look at her again. And he hated the look he saw on her face because the fear that she spoke of was still there, and the fact that he caused it… He loathed it, loathed himself, even more for that fact. All he wanted to do was to protect her and make her happy, and he was failing miserably in the latter aspect. And as hard as he tried, the stoic facade he had worked centuries on, the one he was actually proud of, quickly faded, especially when he saw her take a step closer to him.
“I will never leave you,” he said in a whisper, his voice full of every promise and good intention that he held within his heart. “Even if this were to never become anything, even if it did but you later decided to live a normal human life without vampires…I will never leave you.” He shook his head and, though he saw her pull away, he took it upon herself to reach out, gently cupping the palm of his hand over her soft cheek, cursing himself then for doing so because he never wanted to let go, didn’t know if he could.
“Even if I did have you,” Oh god, the thought of doing something so simple as kissing her, “I could never keep you. I’ll forever be this, and you won’t. As you said, you’re human. And you deserve that life, such as it is. I understand you’re the slayer, but that means you more than anybody deserves a life more than darkness.” He paused. “More than me because that is all I could ever truly bring you. There is no law about this; that would make it too easy. No matter what we asked for, this is the hand we were dealt. Because yes…I will never leave, and I will always love you…but that doesn’t mean you should return those feelings.” His thumb stroked her cheek and his eyes filled with misery, the misery of his thousand years, the emotions he never allowed himself to feel let alone show anybody else.
“You should leave here right now and come back tomorrow when this has blown over and we can objectively do the work that needs to be done.” He didn’t mean it, he could hear it in his voice, but he had to do something to try and talk her out of moving closer, of taking the next step, of allowing him to kiss her. Because if she did? He was never letting her go.
“This isn’t fair.” She hadn’t expected the words to fall so freely from her lips but there they were; displayed out before her. When he touched her, everything she knew to be truth melted away and she didn’t want him to ever let go. If he wanted this to stop, he was going to have to be the one to end it because she wasn’t strong enough to do it. She didn’t have the physical ability to walk away from him because he made her weak. He made her forget how to breathe and he made her forget that all of this was the worst idea either of them could ever have.
Raising her hand, she rested it over his and gripped his fingers with her own. One could argue that this was no different than her love for Angel or the connection she shared with Spike, but they would be wrong. Something about Elijah was different. Something about him made her heart beat differently. It made her breath falter. It made her existence make sense. She didn’t care that he’d lived a thousand lives, that he’d been the start of everything. She...loved him. She loved him despite the monster that lived within him that he kept locked away.
It took every ounce of strength she had to raise her other hand to his face, to trace his jaw with her fingertips. Dangerously close to the edge that could send her falling into an eternal hell, she was having trouble balancing. Deep down, Buffy knew this wasn’t okay--that it was wrong, but she didn’t care. She knew he was right, but she also knew that he was scared and trying to protect her, something she didn’t need. As her lips parted, she could feel them stammering for speech that didn’t seem to come...until it too spilled like blood. “I love you, Elijah. I’m in love with you. I don’t care.”
yourwxrstnightmare:
Elijah’s lips curved up into an amused grin because that definitely described Alaric and Damon to a T, and the funny thing was that either description could be for either of them. But to know that this woman was at the Grill—so close with the infamous moonstone—made him all the more desperate to get it in his grasp and out of the hands of people that wish to use it for harm. Which made her question all the more critical.
“It’s a binding stone,” he finally said. “Very powerful. But since it can be used to bind things, it works as a lock. It can be used for simple things like getting into locked places you shouldn’t be, to unbinding curses…” He paused and sent her a serious look. “To something more horrible like opening doorways, such as a hellmouth.”
When he mentioned the word ‘hellmouth’, he had her attention completely. “I’m sorry, what?” Looking up from her spot at the table, Buffy sat up straighter and more alert. The possibility of opening up another hellmouth made her head want to explode. The thought of it was overwhelming. Releasing a heavy breath to calm herself, she stretched her fingers out over the table top in attempt to halt her mind from running in a million directions. Then she had another question. A more important one.
Glancing in his direction, her brows twisted into curiosity and concern. “What do you want with this stone? You have no use for it unless you’re looking to fix your whole vampire mojo stuff. Which I doubt because you seem to have way too much fun being all tall dark and broody.” The blonde crossed her arms, eyes never leaving him. “So fess up.”
A Slayer in Mystic falls
yourwxrstnightmare:
She’s lying. Well, of course she was, but what woman wouldn’t lie about her reason for being there if some strange man showed up behind her at night. Elijah almost felt bad about it, but he was always suspicious about people walking alone in cemeteries in the middle of the night without a real reason for being there. Considering she was new in town, she wouldn’t have anybody she knew there—more than likely—and he could tell that she wasn’t a vampire. But that didn’t make him feel better because there were so many other supernatural creatures out there that he couldn’t sense, some that he didn’t even know about, and he had lived long enough that he realized he could never be too careful.
Studying her for another moment, he tilted his head to the side, saying nothing while he thought about his words and what he would be saying. It’s not like he’d be letting on what he really was, so he understood needing to fudge the truth when it came to safety, whether it was hers or someone else’s; after all, he was a monster. And truthfully, of the creatures and people he’s met, he was sadly one of the least cruel, even though he had been quite the scourge of Europe back in the day.
Nobody would ever know the truth about the real founders of this town, but the story that was widely popular was still an interesting one. Giving her a measured smile, he nodded and put his hands in his pockets, taking a step closer to her and leaning against the wall of a nearby mausoleum and studied her further. “Well, I supposed you came across the right person then,” he said, using his latest cover for her. “I happen to be writing a book about small towns in Virginia, and I have done some extensive research on the subject. I would be happy to meet with you and discuss it, if you’d like.” And get a better idea of who you really are and what’s going on.
Crap. She didn’t have a cover for this. Giles had tried to give her as much information as possible but she’d not paid attention--as per usual. Buffy had gone in blind not expecting to be cornered by a local on the first night. Maybe she was off her game with the lack in activity in her own life lately, but this had been unexpected. As she tried to ration through his words, she found herself stammering over her own trying to find a way out of the situation she’d created. Before she could stop herself, the words finally spilled over her lips and she instantly regretted them. “Sure.”
Great. Way to go Buffy. You know absolutely nothing and you have no back up for your fake story about being a history buff. If anyone should have been sent here with that story it should have been Willow. Buffy inwardly cursed herself but it was too late to go back on it now. “I don’t want to keep you any longer tonight but I’m staying for a while. I saw a place earlier. A grill? Maybe we could talk there sometime tomorrow over food and stuff?” This was going down hill rather quickly and she wanted to make herself stop talking but the words just wouldn’t stop. Realizing how everything she’d just said sounded, she blinked a few times and continued to try and regain any composure lost. “I mean not like---” Deciding to start over she just smiled a tight lipped and anxious grin to halt her rambling. “I’m Buffy. I say too many words.”
i want to redo my layout and my pages and everything on this blog because its all unorganized and ugly but instead im going to finally get to my drafts and ignore the mess here k thanks.
btw, I’ve made this a canon divergent blog centered in TVD|TO verse. BtVS threads available when asked for.
yourwxrstnightmare:
At the sound of that word leaving her, being tossed at him like a live grenade. It made him wonder how it had taken her so long to find out the truth. Because of course he was a coward; that’s how he lived his life, no matter if he pretended to be strong. His physical strength had nothing to do with the fact that he ran from things. He hid and he made sure that other people didn’t know who he really was. He could say with certainty that not even his siblings really knew him, new of the fear and the urges he had, the cravings that he hid in the dark with, the monstrosities he would—and had—committed without a second thought, ignoring how the guilt and remorse ate at his heart. Truthfully, he was surprised there was any of it left, and he had assumed before meeting her that it was gone. But it turned out that there was just a brick wall around it, and it took a slayer’s strength to knock it down, and all he was left with was trying to scramble and put the pieces back together before the wound festered too much.
And he was failing miserably.
Faintly, he turned towards her, still holding the book in his hands, but he wasn’t reading it, and his eyes weren’t on her either. “I am a coward,” he said, his voice surprised and so so tired. “I’ve been hiding for a thousand years for so many different reasons, and in so many different ways.” He paused. “I’m a monster. The amount of deaths I have caused could fill a small city…all because I couldn’t control myself. So I hide. It’s become easier to hide my feelings because it’s easier that way…” He paused. “It’s easier to hide and pretend it doesn’t exist than to acknowledge that I’m in love with you, but I can never have you…or simply lose you later on in some form.” The book he was holding, he snapped it shut with a loud clap and shoved it back on the shelf, pulling out another one with a harsh yank, forcing himself to focus on the words and not her presence so close to him, knowing she had never been so far away.
Buffy, startled, flinched when he snapped the book closed. His actions that followed were to be expected, the way he was handling this. She’d called him out and clearly he didn’t like it. It hadn’t been the first time the slayer had gotten herself into this exact situation and though she had prayed it would never happen again, there she was. She was stuck in the same pattern again only this time she was an adult and was suppose to have more rational thinking. What a joke that turned out to be. With a cautious footing, she stepped forward toward him.
“Elijah...” Buffy was mindful of every word, of every sentence that came from her mouth. One wrong phrase could push him further away when she was trying to do the exact opposite. Green eyes cast down to her feet as she weighed the things going through her mind. She wanted them to talk through this but would there be any talking left to do? He was so stubborn in his way and so self loathing that she felt as though she would have to work even harder to break through the wall he was so quickly trying to build back up.
Finally, she looked up at him once more and reached a hand to touch his arm, but decided to recoil it back to herself instead. “I said what I said because it scared me. Because I’ve been hurt so many times by situations I could have avoided. By obstacles I didn’t try to get over. By missing out on things that could have been good for me.” Her mouth opened again but words were starting to fail her. “Who said you can’t have me? Who makes that law? Who gets to say who we are allowed to love? Because I think that’s crap. You didn’t ask to be what you are and I definitely didn’t wish for any of this but it’s here and there’s nothing we can do about it to change it.” Again, she took a small step closer to him. “I don’t want you not in my life.”
minor update to rules and guidelines page.
ch-ch-ch-check it out.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I DIE BECAUSE @yourwxrstnightmare IS THE WORST
ugh the feels. the glorius bulijah feels.
I’ll be on my multi-muse blog trying to work through some TWD feelings.
Follow me there if you wish. TWD, SPN, TVD, and OCs live there.
@neverlandxruined
send me ‘ ⚜ ‘ and I’ll put my iTunes or Spotify on shuffle and use the first 15 songs to create a playlist for our muses.
First meeting: Getting to know each other: Escorting them back home: Longing: Going to a party together: Defending them in a fight: Confessing their feelings: Sharing a romantic/friendshippy moment: A tragic turning point: Heated argument: Goodbyes: Change of minds: The final battle: Reunion: Happy ending:
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW SERIES sentence starters !
this was made using dialogue from the first six movies. trigger warning for mentions of violence, murder, animal death, gore, drug usage, incest , ableist and misogynistic language, nsfw themes, and everyone just generally being assholes. feel free to edit these as you please.
“ i heard you, but it don’t mean much. ”
“ a dog will hunt. ”
“ you’re so dead you don’t even know it. ”
“ what kinda sick shit is this? ”
“ oh, you just hush. ”
“ i promise you, you and i are gonna have some fun. ”
“ what if i were to turn you loose, what would you give me? ”
“ don’t call me darling, dammit. ”
“ no, please! no! ”
“ that was for your own good. ”
“ do you think all i wanna do is kill you? ”
“ back up, pig fucker! ”
“ i’m starting to think you like wasting my time. ”
“ if that’s what you want, it’s up to you. ”
“ i wonder whose tongue this is? ”
“ what are you doing to yourself? ”
“ today i’m gonna use my tongue in ways the lord never intended. ”
“ you’re just trying to scare me into leaving. ”
“ they take the head and they boil it, except for the tongue. ”
“ how mad at me are you? ”
“ you don’t need to be walking these roads alone at night. you should get in. ”
“ stop, you’re scaring me. ”
“ no talking until after i say grace, asshole. ”
“ i’m gonna ask you nicely one more time. ”
“ yeah, you gotta watch it getting into cars with strangers these days. ”
“ people shouldn’t kill animals for food. ”
“ you have to get out of here. ”
“ oh my god, i’m way too stoned for this. ”
“ it’s easier to resist at the beginning than the end. ”
“ man, it’s hot in here. ”
“ please stop your damn bellyaching. ”
“ i smell bullshit. ”
“ you’re gonna get killed doing that. ”
“ you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. ”
“ i think you’re chasing the wrong tail, buddy. ”
“ i’ve got a perfect willingness to die. ”
“ you stay away from me, you fucking animal! ”
“ there’s more work to be done, lets get it over with. ”
“ you know why i’m here. ”
“ get your sweet little ass back in the dirt until i say otherwise. ”
“ look at me, i’m not a dope smuggler. ”
“ you can’t get cancer from not having sex. ”
“ i hate when this happens. ”
“ guess i’m falling apart on you, honey. ”
“ do you fuck all of your cousins or just the ones you find attractive? ”
“ that was beautiful form. ”
“ son of a bitch smells just like a slaughterhouse. ”
“ the only thing you’re gonna catch in this water is disease. ”
“ oh, he’s weird looking. ”
“ what’re the chances of a brainless bitch like you knowing how to use that thing, huh? ”
“ hey, what the shit? ”
“ it’s too much, i’m gonna be sick. ”
“ where you headed, man? ”
“ are you ashamed of your country? ”
“ what are you afraid of, that they might try to fuck you? ”
“ hell’s exactly what they raised. ”
“ there’s roadkill all over texas. ”
“ fine, i lied, but it’s not my fault they were stupid enough to believe it. ”
“ i guess that’s what brains look like. kind of like lasagna. ”
“ keep your voice down. ”
“ what you do is your own business. ”
“ boy are you dumb.
“ well, first i’m gonna kill you. it ain’t no fucking biggie. ”
“ your little ass is gonna be in big trouble. ”
“ how’d you get stuck way out here? ”
“ i did it for us. ”
“ are you afraid of a little blood? ”
“ you beautiful bastard, you. ”
“ i just thought of something so cool, what if we got into a wreck, and we crashed into the car in front of us and we all died. they could write a song about it. ”
“ they live off fear, they thrive on it. ”
“ the saw is family. ”
“ you wouldn’t lie to me, would you? ”
“ well lookie here, we’ve got ourselves a killer. ”
“ you’ve never had a date in your life you’re so ugly. ”
“ how often do girls blow their heads off in this shit hole town? ”
“ that was so not cool. ”
“ i have a question for you. ”
“ you’re not scared, you don’t know shit about being scared. not yet. ”
“ you better rocket, cowboy. ”
“ promise you won’t hurt me. ”
“ on a list of bad ideas, that one is way up there. ”
“ i’m sorry, but we’re all gonna die. ”
“ you just keep sweet talking me, dumpling. ”
“ that gun’s no good. ”
“ you think i give a god damn what happens to you? ”
“ you can’t do it alone. ”
“ put down the weapon, don’t be stupid. ”
“ there could be dead people buried all around us and we would never know. ”
“ you really think you’re something in that outfit, don’t you? ”
“ it is my fault. ”
“ there comes a time when every boy becomes a man. ”
“ come on and take a sip, you gotta have something to build up your strength. ”
“ i’ve got a mind to slit your damn throat. ”
“ i like that skin of yours. ”
“ after the glory, here comes the shame. ”
“ the old way, with the sledgehammer, see that was better, they died better that way. ”
“ that’s it. don’t call me dumb. ”
“ i’ll tuck you in special every night. ”
“ this is bullshit, i have rights. ”
“ quiet! you act like a pack of hounds. ”
“ how are you an expert on the dumbest shit? ”
“ you figure it out, it’s your life. welcome to the real world. ”
“ i don’t want to fight anymore. ”
“ what if they’re a murderer and they want us to follow them? ”
“ ladies love a man in uniform. ”
“ you got one choice, sex or the saw? ”
“ i oughta blow your fucking brains out right now. ”
“ get back in there! get your ass back in there. ”
“ you think this is a party? ”
“ i’ve never seen anybody die before. ”
“ basically if you’re buried right your skin turns into poison crisco. ”
“ i think you have a beautiful voice. ”
“ please, you can make them stop. ”
“ you blasphemous bitch! ”
“ he’s a really bad man. ”
“ what’s it gonna be, you gonna be the motherfucker who eats, or are you gonna be the poor sorry motherfucker who gets ate? “
“ this is your lucky day. ”
“ how about giving me a hand, asshole? ”
“ i just wanna go home, okay? ”
“ turned traitor for a piece of tail. ”
“ i had to do it. i used you. ”
“ can you believe we didn’t know each other yesterday? ”
“ you shut your cock sucker, you son of a bitch. ”
“ you’re a lot tougher than i thought. ”
“ i told you, i’m a bitch. ”
“ are there people in those bags? ”
“ if you get too hot, you can always take your clothes off. ”
“ you’re gonna get in my way. ”
“ i’m sorry, sweetie, i got a big mouth. ”
“ you expect me to do this by myself? ”
“ you can’t make me go back there. ”
“ i ain’t finished with you yet. ”
“ you just figure out how to do it and do it. ”
“ they just get dumber and dumber, don’t they? ”
“ i should have listened to my old man and went into real estate. ”
“ please, don’t let them kill me. ”
“ you like this face? ”
“ what the fuck is wrong with you people? ”
“ get that thing off my cutting board. ”
“ i ain’t got no fear left. ”
“ you’re embarrassing me in front of company. ”
“ i always get yanked into this shit. ”
“ shut up, you bitch hog. ”
“ okay, could you relax, because you’re not helping. ”
“ you brought this all on yourself. ”
“ try to speak plain, it saves time. “
“ i really wish you would call me ____. ”
“ do i have to do every damn thing around here? ”
“ how bad is it? i can’t feel it. ”
“ do you mean talk or dance around the real subject with chit-chat? ”
“ you don’t understand nothing. ”
“ we’re on our own now. ”
“ excuse me, you mind getting the fuck out of my way? ”
“ we’re not even having fun yet. ”
“ could be worse, at least we’re not as bad off as those people in the body pit. ”
“ i just can’t take no pleasure in killing. ”
“ you’re all gonna pay for your sins. especially you. ”
“ i believe you, i might be the only believer you’ve got. ”
“ just some things you gotta do. don’t mean you gotta like it. ”
“ hard ass, me? maybe a semi hard ass but i’ve got a soft heart. ”
“ i’ll take you back to hell. ”
“ okay, miss priss, cut that out. ”
𝓽𝓱𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽
○ more ships (TVD and TO are HIGH on this list)
○ vampireBuffy
○ more fighting and destructive storylines (Nothing wrong with fluff, I just need Buffy to be in pain, sue me.)
○ literally anything involving Elijah or Damon because I’m trash
○ Buffy vs Katherine
○ literally this entire list has just become all about TVD and TO so like just give me Mystic Falls and New Orleans stuff k
○ and maybe a lot more Klaus
@rcddoor
---continued from x
"I guess not--”
Buffy stayed silent for a long while, her eyes scanning to the clock across the room. It was 3 in the morning and she should have been asleep herself. “I’m sorry to call so late, but I just--I wanted to apologize. For trying to put you in the middle of my issues with Klaus. Your his brother and I was wrong to try and put you against him regardless of what he did.”
theblueeyedvampire:
@destructoxgirl | continued from [x]
“No! It wasn’t me. Just found the body, didn’t put it there. Honestly, Slayer, must you always think the worst of me?” He wasn’t completely sure he wanted to hear the truthful answer to that question. “Point is, somethin’ is killing these co-eds.”
“Forgive me for thinking that you, a vampire, formerly evil or not, would have anything to do with a rando dead body.” Buffy crossed her arms, a brow raised in response to him. “Is there a pattern with them? Because I have a lot going on right now and I don’t want to put my Nancy Drew hat on unless I have to.”
littlewxtch:
@destructoxgirl liked your post “Like for this for a starter set during Season Six, set after Bonnie…”
“Is there a hunter club around here or something? Cause if there was one a long time ago, I’m pretty sure most of the members are dead now.” It was a warning in combination with a smartass remark. Hunters didn’t last long in Mystic Falls. It was just a fact of life at that point.
Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but found herself just pressing her lips back together in a firm line with a single shake of her head. “Trust me, I’m a lot different and a lot more skilled than they were. --and I’m not part of a club.”
His honesty was unexpected, though it shouldn’t have been. Elijah had always been up front with her, he’d never lied. He’d not had a reason to. Until now. Lying this away would have been so much easier than dealing with it head on and Buffy wished she could be as dismissive as he was. She wished she could push it away like it was nothing and act like this wasn’t destroying her inside. The blonde felt her heart drop to the pits of her stomach when he uttered the word that she never would have used out loud. Mistake. She felt a sharp breath pull in her chest and had to fight against showing any kind of emotional response because he was right. They had work to do–work that was more important than any of this. But she was unable to move.
Her eyes followed him as he turned away from her and moved to the bookcase, as he flipped through pages of the books and had so easily removed himself from the situation. A single tear managed to escape her eye and she wiped it away before it could fall, before he could be made aware of how much this actually hurt. “Coward.” The word left her lips before she could stop it. Before she could tell herself that continuing this would be the real mistake. “—For someone so strong and put together, I would have never thought of you as a coward.”
Still unmoved, Buffy remained in the same spot she’d been standing. “You’re right. This—is toxic and stupid and probably the worst thing that could have ever happened. But it did and I’m glad that you can just sweep it under the rug like it’s nothing but I can’t.” Her words before had been said out of fear, out of wanting so much to love him but knowing how masochistic it would have been. “Your life here may have made you a realist, but I’m still human and I still feel and I’m not going to apologize for that.”
