SENTENCE MEME ⟶ BORDERLINE / SEASON ONE
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“Stop first, ask questions later.”
“What qualifies as out of the ordinary?”
“When I was in school I did a test and this is the job they said I should do.”
“That’s terrible, but it’s a step in the right direction.”
“I found three grams of cocaine in him.”
“So this is like, a real thing?”
“I’ve been arrested a few times.”
“I’m looking a wee bit silly.”
“I don’t hate it. If liking it is hating it here..”
“Oh, god, I’m going to have to be so truthful.”
“Just so everyone knows: this job is shit.”
“Could you please remove your shirt?”
“I just need this entire room to start taking me seriously.”
“People deal with stress in different ways. I make inflatable hands.”
“Education and wealth I take for granted.”
“The police are here and you’re going to jail.”
“I’m going to hang out with some hobbits.”
“Let’s move on, start afresh tomorrow, and pretend today never happened.”
“Does that sound too hard? Is supporting your partner too boring? Sounds pretty simple to me.”
“That’s what marriage is. It’s a mutual contract between two adults who care about each other and support each other.”
“He decided to quit his job because it was too boring. Apparently, jobs can’t be boring and have to be fun all the time.”
“Look at me, I’m having the time of my life.”
“I had half a bottle of jaeger.”
“I don’t need a fake ID because I’m a grown-up.”
“You’re a grown-up that still drinks jaeger.”
“Just because I don’t go out drinking every night doesn’t mean I’m not fun.”
“You’re having fun, right? This is fun?”
“I feel like I’m quite good at keeping people calm.”
“He put his dick in her drink and then she drank it.”
“Put the dicks on your head.”
“I’ll prove you wrong by putting these glittery dicks on my head.”
“All tea in Ukraine is made from potatoes.”
“No, that just sounded racist.”
“We’re talking about biscuits, not bloody crack cocaine.”
“He’s like a scared seal trying to get on top of a rock before a killer whale eats him.”
“I love these deep and meaningful conversations we have.”
“How do you know you’re not going to be sad all your life? Because one day you die.”
“Nobody’s ever asked me for my number before.”
“What Spice Girl do you like most?”
“Firstly, I didn’t realize what that was was flirting.”
“Next time I get invited to something I’d normally say no to, I’ll say yes.”
“Let me put you out of your misery.”
“I ordered a martini and it came with a straw.”
“She called me a bear, but in a sexual way.”
“I’ve just had tons of sex with this hot policeman.”
“I don’t know half the people that work here, ‘cause I just think about myself half the time.”
“I don’t think we’re supposed to be drinking at work.”
“Where I come from, when a man dies, the first thing you do is take a drink.”
“It’s funny when somebody dies and it unsettles everybody.”
“What would happen if I drop dead right now?”
“I pride myself on being a good person.”
“We should not be laughing at this.”
“You mean the pervy old man who used to wink at me all the time?”
“At first I thought they were cupcakes, but it turns out –– just a pair of tits.”
“I’m gonna kiss so many ladies.”
“There’s a lot more to it than just kissing ladies.”
“I don’t know why I said that.”
“The brush is next to the toilet for a reason.”
“I don’t care about your mother. She’s not the bloody queen.”
“I’m too old to be invited.”
“Swiss is not a language.”
“I had to leave before I was murdered.”
“I’m going to end up completely naked in a pool of other people’s piss.”
“You get a lot more detail in the books.”
“Now that you’re ugly, maybe you’ll make some friends.”
“I should stop making jokes in these situations.”
“There’s the drawer full of alcohol in your office.”
“Sometimes things are hard, and tricky. But you can change lives by working together and making each other feel like human beings.”
“I’m going to get more likes on Instagram.”
“Effective communication is easy. Turns out, you just make eye contact when you talk.”
“I see myself as a bridge between two previously warring nations.”
“People have photoshopped you to look like loads of people.”
“Your picture has been tweeted by Nigel Farage and Jeremy Clarkson.”
“I think of accordions and three-legged dogs.”
“I tried to call twitter. Turns out they don’t have a phone.”
“You do your job poorly, someone hates you. You do your job well, someone hates you. Either way, someone always hates you.”
“You’re a funny bugger, but a kind one.”
“Anthrax just makes the flowers last longer.”
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