Jay Halstead

Selective. Multiship. Multiverse.

[detectivesass]

timmgutterson:

         “ Think the analogy stopped at you bein’ somethin’ funny t’ stare at, buddy. Don’t think any self-respectin’ hillbilly would wanna pay t’ see a yank. “ At least not the kind of hillbillies that frequented these parts – 

                          A beat. “ You tryin’ to say snow’s a kink for you? “ A shit-eating grin covered his featured ( hard as fuck indeed ), before he continued, “ Monkey still suits y’ better than any sort a’ predator tho’. Sorry. “

         “I learned it watching you.” 

        He shook his head. “Ain’t the kind of hard I meant. I’d say get your mind out of the gutter, but seems to be it’s wedged in there pretty good.” Not that he could talk. “You know, one of these days, you’re gonna hurt my feelings. You’re gonna cut me too deep.” He folded a hand over his heart for good measure. “Too deep.” 

[detectivesass]

carisiisms:

       “ fuck off man. you don’t get to direct my tone. ” he grumbled as he shoved his hands into his pockets, keeping his head up and observing his surroundings a little. he’d have to remember this place if he wanted to avoid it in the future. 

          “wow, you this prickly with all the folks you run into? hell of way to make friends and influence people.” he led him a couple blocks down, stopping under an old-school striped awning. he pushed open the door and held it. “you hate pizza as much as you hate strangers?”

[carolinemakesameme]

Using the new GIF function, search your faceclaim and post the first gif that shows up

[detectivesass]

Originally posted by chicagofire-chicagopd

[detectivesass]

staticskull:

open starter.

               “Girls are nice. They’re all soft and stuff and that’s nice. But also guys are really nice too and they’re  strong  and make me feel  super safe  so it’s like–  that girl in the taco commercial video, you know the– taco commercial, the little girl– “why don’t we have both?” yeah…  that’s me.  I’m…  that’s me.  It’s me.”

            “Well, that’s   good for you, I guess.” Jay was no stranger to too much information offered over drinks and a quartz countertop. He’d learned more about people he didn’t know from spontaneous bar-room conversations than he ever had in any interrogation room. “So you going for a sample pack, or you aiming more for a polyamory kind of arrangement?” 

[detectivesass]

; somebody tell me I can’t make a lucifer blog. tom ellis is magical, and lucifer is snarky as shit. i love it. 

[detectivesass]

carisiisms:

[ jay ] : get me a real burrito and it won’t end up thrown at you

[ sonny ] : you are all charm.  [ sonny ] : burrito it is. see you in ten. 

[detectivesass]

"yet you manage to stay smelling fresh~"

“What can I say? I’m just that good.”

[detectivesass]

deus-lupus:

          ❛ What can I say? That’s my job. And I’m a nice guy… sometimes. ❜ A grin formed on Callum’s lips before he tilted his head in curiosity. It took him a moment  to acutally get what the guy meant — playing scrabble wasn’t usually the thing he heard in the bar. ❛ Too bad. Sounds like a useful update to me. This whle commitment thing on social media is really unnerving. ❜ 

          “I don’t know, it ain’t so bad. You don’t need a warrant to look at somebody’s Facebook page.” Which made playing six degrees of bad guy a hell of a lot easier. “And you wouldn’t believe the dumb stuff people do with their Twitter and shit. Had a guy on the lamb once, checked in on Four Square. I shit you not.” He smiled around the lip of his beer, chuckling. All things considered, there were worse jobs to have. 

[detectivesass]

carisiisms:

        at this point, sonny really couldn’t care less. it was cold as shit outside and what he was doing was basically just same shit different day. upon seeing the gun, he sighed and gave in, “ fine, whatever. let’s go. ” if it got him that money, then he’d go with it.

      jay was no stranger to this kind of thing. folks got desperate, and desperate folks would do a lot of things for a buck. hell, growing up like he had, he’d been one of those desperate folks. “whoa, whoa, i’m gonna need you to tone down the enthusiasm.” shaking his head, he nodded toward the street to the east and started walking. he figured the guy would take the hint and follow him. 

[detectivesass]

Hurt rp Starters

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down! You don't want to get even more hurt, do you?"

"Tell me where it hurts."

"Whoa, that's purple... It looks like your shoulder is dislocated."

"Oh my god. Are you okay?"

"You're bleeding... You're bleeding bad..."

"This is gonna hurt..."

"Holy crap! I may not know much about human anatomy, but legs don't bend that way!"

"It's all swollen up..."

"You have a black eye. Where you fighting with someone?"

"Okay... Okay, hospital. Hospital, now."

"I think you have a concussion."

"Calm down! Calm down! Your ankle is sprained, okay?"

"Here, lean on me."

"I'm gonna need more bandaids..."

"What the hell happened to you!?"

"Here, I need to clean you up. This might sting a bit..."

"We need to get the bullet out..."

"Oh my god, you've been shot!"

"Did... did you get beat up!?"

"Just hold on. You're gonna be fine..."

"Look out for that car!"

"Wake up! Oh god, please wake up!"

"You're alive! Oh, thank god!"

"I'm no doctor, but you should have that looked at. It's bleeding a lot..."

"What is that? Are there bandages under your shirt?"

"Why is your arm wrapped up like that? And are those blood stains!?"

"You must have hit the back of your head really hard."

"Look at me. Just look at me and stay awake. Can you do that?"

[detectivesass]

carisiisms:

         “ shit, you think i’m gonna get picked up? fat fuckin’ chance of that ‘n even if that’s the case, gettin’ some money in my pocket ain’t a bad thing. ” sonny was new here, actually. so he had no idea but sex for money? it wouldn’t be the first time. 

      “money ain’t what you’d be coming away with, sunshine. people around here, they get territorial. and the guy who runs this block ain’t somebody you want to piss off.” he reached into his pocket for a fold of bills and plucked the top one off. “you want cash? there’s a c-note in it for you if you follow me.” it wasn’t an invitation. and it wasn’t an accident when he flashed his gun putting the rest of the cash back. 

[detectivesass]

@carisiisms

“You must be new here or something, ‘cause anybody spending time in Canaryville knows damn well this isn’t the corner you want to sleep on, buddy. It’s, ah, busy this time of night, if you catch what I’m saying.” Jay happened to work for the guy who brought the business, so maybe he had a special interest in moving the guy along. Or in finding out who he was and what he was doing there in the first place. 

[detectivesass]

carisiisms:

[ jay ] : i’m not even gonna answer that [ jay ] : nah, just get whatevers on your way

[ sonny ] : you better make a decision son  [ sonny ] : or i’m bringing you gas station burritos or some shit [ sonny ] : do not test me. you will lose

[detectivesass]

Castle Lines

"Did you light your hair on fire again?"

"Have a good day at work honey."

"Shut the hell up."

"I'm Sorry."

"What do you have?"

"Don't tell [blank.]"

"100$ on us."

"Dig in."

"He was flirting with me."

"This is when you boost me up."

"Took me an hour to tie this!"

"I asked for time. Why can't you give me that?"

"Did you call just to bust my chops?"

"You two always like this?"

"Most of my claims tend to be on the large side."

"Looks like I have a fan."

"Control freak with something you can't control."

"Don't leave town."

"It is just so rough being you."

"Ever artist needs a muse."

"Call me a muse again and I will break both your legs."

"You wanna know who orders the hit on your mommy?"

"It's apart of you, so use it."

"It's a stripper name!"

"Or we could cuddle."

"I'm gonna make you hurt."

"What if I told you my date was with your book?"

"Let me know if you need any singles."

"Not gonna get much out of [blank] looking like a cop."

"How do you like my navel ring?"

"What are you looking at?"

"Maybe because you were found standing over a dead body."

"You are in trouble."

"Who said you could answer my phone?"

"This isn't one of your novels."

"I am going to kill you!"

[detectivesass]

; still can’t believe there are no antonio dawson blogs...

[detectivesass]

licks jay's booty

“You realize I tackled a guy into a trash pile literally five minutes ago.”

[detectivesass]

ofduediligence:

❛ Be that as it may it’s your word against theirs, something the state of New York isn’t in position to gamble.

—In other words Detective, you’re not from here so your words, your statement, counts as much as theirs. ❜

And he wasn’t stating this to win some measuring contest, no, he was laying it out, trying to get the other to take in just how big this entire situation was before he burst into his office demanding the ADA pull strings that had long since been cut.

He presses on, tone steady, back straight and the lawyer in him smoothly taking over.

❛ You were sent to help due to the short handed situation we’re facing… I’m sure the irony will come to you at a later date. ❜

“The word of a detective brought in specifically for  this case, with one of the best arrest records in the   whole goddamn northeast, versus a caught-in-the-  act child killer with a record as long as my arm?”

He shook his head. 

“You want to play paddy-cake with the public   defenders, you do what makes you happy. But   don’t push it off on us. We did everything right.   We did everything we should’ve done.” 

He wouldn’t be reason a guy like that went free, not when he went by the books. And he’d be damned if  he let them play like their hands were tied for the  sake of some kind of office politics. 

“How about next time, you get your goddamn house in order before you invite guests.”