Hello everyone, dev here. After an unimaginably long hiatus and disappearance, I will finally announce that I will be quitting writing in general. Im sorry everyone, but I can't seem to find the motivation anymore, school is kicking my ass, and so are my parents, my parents are always on my ass about how writing and art is and continuously pressuring me to be perfect in everything expecting me as a top engineer.
Being forced to be on a path i don't want to has put a toll on me to the point where I do not know my passion for art and writing anymore. The time where it was my comfort is now a void, may seem depressing but it is what it is. This blog has been the best time of my life, me getting amazing friends, moots and attention for my writing aswell as helping people with my words as much as it used to help me
academic rival!juhoon who purposely takes the seat directly behind you in every single lecture hall, not because he actually likes the view from the back row, but because he completely thrives on the satisfaction of watching you tense up when he leans forward to whisper a sarcastic comment right into your ear.
academic rival!juhoon who spends three straight hours in the quietest corner of the university library pretending to be deeply engrossed in a textbook, when in reality his eyes are glued to the side of your face as you stress-chew on your pen, his mind completely wandering from the syllabus because he’s too busy figuring out how you manage to look so effortlessly pretty when you're on the verge of a breakdown.
academic rival!juhoon who notices you forgot to pack a proper lunch during finals week and decides to take matters into his own hands, casually sliding an expensive gourmet sandwich onto your desk before a big exam and claiming he accidentally bought the wrong order, even though he literally spent fifteen minutes standing in line specifically to get the exact turkey-and-avocado combination he knows you always order.
academic rival!juhoon who gets so intensely flustered when you accidentally brush shoulders with him in the narrow doorway of the science lab that he completely loses his train of thought mid-sentence, dropping his expensive glass beaker on the counter and forcing him to look away quickly so you don't see the sudden, deep blush creeping all the way up to the tips of his ears.
academic rival!juhoon who signs up for the exact same obscure extra-curricular debate club as you just so he can have a legitimate excuse to argue with you for two hours every Thursday night, loving the fierce spark in your eyes when you try to tear his arguments apart far more than he actually cares about winning the actual club trophy.
academic rival!juhoon who secretly keeps a small, handwritten tally mark hidden in the back of his main study planner to keep track of every single time you beat his score versus every time he beats yours, because losing to anyone else is fine, but losing to you feels like the end of the world.
academic rival!juhoon who finds you sound asleep on top of your open laptop at four in the morning in the 24-hour study lounge and feels this sudden, overwhelming wave of protective affection hit him out of nowhere, prompting him to carefully drape his own hoodie over your shoulders before quietly sitting down in the chair next to yours to keep watch until sunrise.
academic rival!juhoon who completely loses his cool composure during a group study session when another guy in your major tries to casually flirt with you, instantly interrupting the conversation by leaning across the table to dominate your attention with an academic question, using his physical presence to subtly crowd the other guy out of your space entirely.
academic rival!juhoon who stays up until the crack of dawn rewriting his entire mid-term presentation from scratch because he overheard you telling a classmate how creative your topic was, refusing to let himself present anything less than absolute perfection because the absolute last thing his pride can handle is seeing you look disappointed in his performance.
academic rival!juhoon who corners you against the lockers after the final grades are posted and you officially tie for the top spot in the department, leaning his tall frame down until his lips are just inches from yours as he lets out a soft, breathless laugh, telling you that since neither of you won the academic war, you’re officially forced to let him take you out on a real date to break the tie.
isa: this one's for @rererereremememem :> i know i've been MIA and barely replying bae but i swear it's not you it's me :(( consider this my apology gift 🥺 i love you, pls forgive my busy ahh :p
Summary:- You are a simple girl, you simply visit the library and go to the coffee shop, but only for the pretty barista who serves your drinks-?!
Warnings- implied masc reader, femme bisexual dev, mentions of making out, teasing, WLW!!!,
For my amazing friend dev, ur too hot to not have a fanfiction of you. I'll make sure everyone wanna make out with u♡
The bell above the café door chimed softly as you stepped inside.
The smell of coffee beans and vanilla syrup wrapped around you immediately, warm and familiar. It was your favorite little café in town, partly because of the cozy atmosphere
...And mostly because of Dev :3
She stood behind the counter, wearing her usual black tank top and cargo jeans. Gold rings glinted on her fingers as she scribbled something on a cup. Her shoulder-length curls bounced whenever she moved, as the sun's rays hit her brown eyes, illuminating them.
You swore she looked beautiful
"Hey!" Dev said smiling at you, her glasses rested on top of tilted a little as she jumped when she saw you.
"Hi," you answered, trying not to sound weird. "The ..Usual?"
"Uh... yeah." "One vanilla iced latte?." She tapped the register.
"Coming right up." You nodded and then kept standing there. Like an idiot. An idiot Sandwich.
Dev tilted her head, her voice ringing in concern. "You okay?"
"Yep."
"You sure?" "Mhm.." "You've been staring at the menu for thirty seconds."
"Oh."
You looked up, you had, in fact, been staring directly at a sign advertising pumpkin muffins.
Dev bit her lip to stop herself from laughing, and your face heated up in embarrassment, you immediately looked down at the floor giggling nervously, with your hands covering your flushed red face.
When you peeked through your hands, she was still smiling.
Her curls framed her face in messy spirals. Gold rings flashed on her fingers as she absentmindedly tapped them against the counter.
"You know," she said, tilting her head, "most people just order their drink."
"I am ordering my drink."
"You've been here for four minutes."
Dev just chuckled, shaking her head as she reached for a cup.
"Yeah, yeah. Here you go."
She slid your drink across the counter, the gold rings on her fingers catching the light. You took it with a quiet thank you.
Normally, this would've been the part where you awkwardly retreated to your usual table and spent the next hour pretending not to glance at her every thirty seconds.
Instead, you stayed like some stiff statue. Dev noticed immediately, of course she did, she's either too observant or the dumbest most oblivious person in the world.
"You need something else?"
"No, I just..." You fiddled with your sleeve. "How's High school going?" Her eyebrows lifted slightly. "Oh."
A smile tugged at her lips.
"Small talk?" "Maybe." "Wow. I'm honored."
You looked over to see one of Dev's coworkers was standing a few feet away, wearing the most knowing expression you'd ever seen. The second they noticed you looking, they immediately winked at Dev. Not subtle in the slightest.
Dev's face instantly flushed. "Oh my god."
The coworker only smirked and jerked their head toward you before making a little shooing motion.
You watched the entire exchange in confusion..
Dev looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her whole. "Ignore them."
Muttering under her breath, Dev pulled off her cap and set it on the counter. Without it, her curls fell freely around her shoulders, soft and slightly messy from being tucked away all afternoon.
She stepped out of the counter, and stood right beside you, looking up at your.
"Happy?"
"A little."
She wheezed loudly and you smiled at her .
"Come on sigma"
Together, you wandered toward one of the quieter corners of the café where usually no one was and only the smokers sat during breaks. It was tucked away near a side window, half-hidden from the rest of the shop.
You leaned against the wall, drink still cold in your hands, while Dev stood across from you. Without the counter between you, she somehow looked different, more calm outside that damn counter probably stressing out to remember names and order's.
"I think I'd rather tell a fish I hate water."
"Exactly."Dev pointed at you triumphantly.
"See? You get it."
The smile she gave you was quick and bright.Your stomach immediately betrayed you. Because the thing was—You always got it. You always listened. You always remembered the things she talked about. The books she liked.
And before your brain could stop your mouth—
"I mean, obviously. I like you."
Oh fuck.
Dev was staring at you. Her eyes slightly widened. Her lips parted.
And then, slowly—A smile appeared.Not a big one.Not even a particularly kind one. It was almost unfairly amused. Almost condescending. But her cheeks were almost as flushed as the cherry red lip gloss she had on her lips.
Oh?" she repeated. "You like me?"
Your heart stopped. Actually stopped. She tilted her head slightly in hope for a response as you quickly mustered out a "NO!" as she fake pouted while swaying towards us. She was so close yet so far away at the same time.
"Such a shame.." she whispered looking up at us with a slight pout, the scent of coffee and her perfume flooding your entire senses.
Your neurons activated hearing that and immediately leaned your face close to her, one of your hands resting on her hip and the other rising up to cup her soft cheek.
"Can i?"
Dev only nodded before your lips crashed onto hers, the taste of the cherry flooded your senses, lips oh so soft and her hands right buried in your messy hair pulling you closer.
You swore you looked at her like a kicked puppy as she reluctantly pulled away, lip gloss slightly smudged but eyes bright as the stars.
"My lip gloss is smudged on your lips too!" She giggled out and you thank your nerdy brain for rambling accidentally confessing to her
TW for suicidal thoughts, thoughts of drug overdose, major depressive disorder, hyper sexuality, guilt, vomit
This is a very heavy fic based off of my own thoughts and experiences. If you or anyone else you know are struggling, please do not hesitate to reach out. You are not alone, you are loved, you are worthy ♡
Your brain felt so fuzzy...
All these voices ran rampant through your mind. They consumed you, made you feel sick to your stomach.
Your wrist was so numb. Your fingers were coated in your own slick and guilt. But no matter how much you tried, you just couldn't stop. Over and over would these intrusive thoughts invade your mind, no matter how much you wanted them to stop.
You didn't WANT to feel like this. Didn't want to keep repeating this cycle of constant masturbation just to feel better about yourself or settle the thoughts in your mind. It made you feel disgusting.
You couldn't stop the bile that rose to your throat. Quickly, you jumped off of your bed and rushed to the bathroom. Your body collapsing to the floor near the toilet as the bile finally erupted.
It hurt so fucking bad. Tears stung at your eyes, your throat burned, you could barley even fucking breath. You gasped and gagged, entire body trembling with the force of throwing up.
For a moment you sat there. Shivering. Gagging. Before slowly standing up on shaky knees, flushing the toilet, and moving to wash your face off in the sink. But then, something caught your eye.
A bottle of pain killers. Sat right on top of the counter.
You could take them right now. Swallow down the entire bottle in one big gulp and just wait for it to kill you. It would be so quick and easy. The bottle was right fucking there...
Your hand reached for the bottle. Clutching it tight in your palm. If you swallowed them right now, you'd be dead in seconds. Dead before anyone could even notice you were missing.
The bottle was harshly slammed down onto the sink with a scream.
You couldn't do it. No matter how much you wanted to. God... You felt so useless. You couldn't even kill yourself if you wanted.
With a sob you dragged yourself back into your bedroom. Flopping down onto your bed and burying your face in the pillows so you could just sob.
You were so consumed in your own cries and sobs of pain thag you didn't notice your bedroom door slowly creaking open.
~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~♡~
Lohen stood there in the doorway, watching your trembling form on the bed. Just the sight alone made him feel horrible. God, he should've been here for you.
No words were said as he shut the door behind him. His quiet footsteps slowly approaching your bedside. He could've reached out. Could've brushed the hair out of your face and try to reason with you.
But he didn't.
Instead, he grabbed a cloth from your bedside. Taking it into the bathroom and getting it damp with sink water before returning to your side.
He began to clean you up. Letting the cloth gently scrub the insides of your thighs and wipe the tears off your face. You didn't try and stop him. You were to tired to. All you wanted now was to be loved and cared for.
And he did that. The whole time, Lohen never scolded you for your need to have these sessions with yourself. He just kept quiet and took care of you. Let you know how much he loved you through his soft scrubs and whispers.
Once you were all cleaned up, he crawled onto the bed next to you. Oh so gently pulling your body close to his chest, with your ear pressed against his chest so you could hear his heartbeat.
He felt horrible about not being able to help you. All he wanted to do was take all your pain away and make it so you never had to have these thoughts again. But that wasn't possible.
Instead, all he could do was be there for you. Keep you company and distract your mind from these thoughts and desires.
You were everything to him. Every flaw, every self depricating thought. Everything you hated about yourself, he cared for.
He couldn't jusy pretend your issues weren't real, because they were. They affected you and hurt you every day. But they also made you who you were.
They made you kind. Empathetic. Loving.
No matter what, Lohen loved you. Even in these dark times where you felt like everything sucked and nothing could help you except death.
He'd spend years proving to you that he loved you. That even with your flaws, it would never deter him from loving you.
You sat on the bathroom floor — skin sweaty, spit dripping down your chin, body feeling weak and like it’ll die at any minute. Not like it won’t, though. You don’t even remember what went wrong between you and Michael to get to this state. Maybe that’s just a side effect, though. You really didn’t care at this point; you just wanted to be gone.
You felt your chest clench tightly as your body prepared to throw up again for the umpteenth time. You put your head over the toilet bowl and held your hair back, forcing it out of yourself. It hurt. Bad. You’d already rid yourself of the food contents of your body, so now it was just whatever else was in there. Your chest squeezed tightly as you coughed, tears pricking in the corner of your eyes.
You got up and rinsed your mouth off in the sink. Again. It was like a never ending cycle at this point. You sat back down with a groan, closing your eyes and leaning back against the wall. You remembered now. How you got here, how you got to that situation in the first place.
It was just a silly argument, nothing big. You’d just had a long day at work, and he just didn’t want to put up with it. It escalated, and some things were said. Something along the lines of you being useless and just like your dad, of him being a manipulative bastard. And maybe he was right, maybe you were useless and just like your dad.
The thought made the tears in your eyes finally fall. He was right. You’d never done a thing that proved useful to anyone — there was always someone better. Always outperformed, outdone. Never the best, never anyone’s first pick. Not even somebody’s second favorite person.
And your dad. He was an angry, aggressive person who you swore hated everything. You were just like him. Not only in the face, but in your personality, too. It drove you insane, being just like the man you hate most. The only thing different was that you at least tried to be nice.
Suddenly, you remembered all of the stupid things you did when you got mad. It made you mad with everything you’d done over the smallest inconveniences. You felt more tears slip as you remembered the realization you’d come to years ago. You’re a piece of shit. And you hated yourself for it.
You felt your life slowly slipping away as you sat there. Your body was getting weaker, eyes heavier. You still felt sick, but your body couldn’t even bring itself to throw up anymore. Your hands shook as cold sweat slipped down your forehead. You finally decided to close your eyes, laughing at yourself with a smile on your face. Imagine how pathetic you looked right now.
There was a knock on the door and a faint “schatzi” that you swore you heard from the other side. You opened an eye and tilted your head towards it, and suddenly the knocking stopped. Of course he wasn’t there, he never was. You were never the first pick, remember? Why would he care enough to check on you?
You laughed at yourself again, closing your eye and letting your head rest once more. You could still feel your life slipping away, and it was possibly the best feeling you’ve ever experienced. You’d be in pure bliss right now if not for the pain. You suddenly remembered all of the memories you had with everyone, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. It was okay to be a little selfish at times, right?
And suddenly, your body went limp and you stopped breathing. Your blood stopped flowing. Your heart stopped pumping. Your brain went numb. You were finally dead.
Hi...i am actually gonna give up being an anon cuz everytime I request for secretive plotterz yk it's me ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ so uh... something fluffy with secretive plotter? Like just him cuddling us and peppering us with kisses while we sit on his lap
a.n: dev dear, I realized I never got around to writing your lovely ask. enjoy this little plotter fluffiness and may the fourth be with u! (∩˃ᴗ˂∩)✧
w.c: 513
"Thank you, 999."
Your nose was filled with the delectable scent of steamed murim dumplings with chicken. 999 strolled over to the table nearby, setting the tray down.
He looked you over, you, curled in your seat.
That seat being one clingy Secretive Plotter. He pinned you in his lap, arms encircling your body, and his head was pushed into the crook of your neck. The hood of his cloak was off and his long, wavy shag of hair tickled your chin.
"Ah, Joonghyuk..."
The plotter raised his head, cracking open one eye lazily. "Go on, have a dumpling."
"I need use of my arms for that, don't I?"
He sighed, like it was a great burden to oblige. Once your arms were released from his hold, you grabbed a few dumplings and ignored the burning of your palms.
"999!" you said to him, mouth full of the hot food. "You've outdone yourself this time. Did you add something new?"
999 nodded sagely. "Black vinegar."
"It's delicious."
The kkoma's smile was faint. His eyes sparkled as he bowed his head once. "Many thanks."
You all heard a sudden yell. The other kkomas were running around outside doing who knows what. Which was fine by you—999 was the only kkoma that your plotter didn't mind going soft around. As if he had heard your thoughts, Secretive Plotter tightened around your torso. His nose nuzzled under your jawline, and you felt his lips brush lightly along your skin.
Plotter inhaled. "Those smell good."
"Do you want one?" You propped one up in front of his mouth. "Here."
His lips pressed together, remaining in a firm line. Oddly enough, it seemed that feeding the plotter in front of 999 was where he drew the line. Mouth-to-neck action is fine but hand-feeding him isn't?!
You rolled your eyes, taking a large bite out of the dumpling instead. "Your loss."
Secretive Plotter responded by fixing his lips to your pulse. He began to map the stars gently across your neck, peppering up to your full cheek as you chewed.
You swallowed. "Have some before they go cold. The new filling is excellent."
"...I'll try it."
Instead of taking a bite, he took the dumpling from your hand and replaced it on the tray. His mouth was on yours before you could think to question him.
Plotter's tongue slipped past your lips, tasting you. He pulled away slowly.
"Hm," he said, licking his bottom lip. "You're right. Delicious."
That cheeky bastard.
Secretive Plotter brought you impossibly closer. "I think I need another taste though. To be sure."
"Just to be sure," you replied with a smile.
Plotter kissed you long and hard. His lips were sweet. You giggled as he kissed all over your face, from the baby hair wisps along your temple to the very tip of your nose. Your fingers tangled in his hair to bring him back to your mouth.
Neither of you seemed to notice that a disgusted 999 had escaped the room long, long ago, leaving the lovebirds to their own little nest.
Many writers have closed requests and there was no hurt -> comfort content of PJSK chars. Soooo… I’ll ask something
May I request for Toya and Akito (separate) with a depressed!gn!reader? Like the reader tries to commit suicide but Akito/Toya stops them?
Pretty pls~
A/N: HIIII SO OMG I LOVE UR REQ mainly cuz i already tried that 4 times lol... btw, there IS hurt to comfort pjsk fics, u just gotta search ^^ (I read all Toya fics around tumblr and there are some hurt to comfort :P) SOOO tysm for ur req I love it
Tw!!!!: Suicide, self-harm, cursing, ANGST
Pls look at the tw... (double checking)
Toya Aoyagi & Akito Shinonome (separately) x GN!Reader
Tags: Come get your summer pancake ginger:~ @mccnstruck , @maxident-xx , @miya-akane , @sentientsoil , @akitosheart
Come get your winter coffee addicted~ @sentientsoil , @miya-akane , @akitosheart
S-icide attempt
Writing style: story
(Again, check the tw's)
秋–くん🔥
It was late at night. Everything was spinning. You couldn't feel nothing, but despair, angst, sadness. Actually, did you feel anything? Was there anything in your heart right now? You couldn't cry, you couldn't feel anything. You were doped of medications, such as antidepressants, to not have these stupid thoughts, but whatever they were trying to do, they weren't working. Maybe if you went to a psychiatrist they would double your dose, wouldn't they? You thought of this. But... what if you don't need to spend more money on these? What if... you disappeared. Just. Did it. Why feel more pain? Why make your friends suffer while you're alive? It will be quick... Of course, everyone would be sad with your absence, but it would be less than a life-time, such as you bothering all of them daily... it will be less painful for both sides, won't it?
With this thought, your wrists dripping a red tone liquid, you look down your feet. You're on the 12th floor of a building, you look down with fear, cars and vehicles are passing in the road, but it won't stop you. You're shaking...
Then, the only thing you see is darkness. You close your eyes and you're ready to give a step forward, putting one foot on the air. You flinch when you hear a voice coming from behind you, a despaired and panting voice.
"What the actual fuck are you doing?!" – A familiar voice screams, a ginger figure appears in the rooftop, making you fall behind and gasp. The person was holding a messy piece of paper, the sight is familiar, your suicide letter.
"Are you crazy?! You know you could have died there!!!" – Akito speaks in despair and anger. He looks at you with a painful and worried expression, with a bit of rage. He sits in front of you, taking both of your hands in his.
"I... I just didn't want to... bother you anymore. All of you. I'm sorry" You speak in pain, you break down in tears. Akito, as he sees you in that state, frowns more, but his rage disappears. The only thing he does is wrapping his arms around you, as tight as he can, as if you were about to vanish (well somewhat you were (IM SORRY)
He's not really good at words, so he demonstrates his affection that way. But... maybe today he'll open an exception...
"Dang it... never do that anymore... never again. I don't want to lose you, please... I love you way too much for that to happen."
Akito speaks in the most caring tone he could. You have never seen him this affectionate, around anyone. Never ever. You can hear muffled and quiet whines coming from Akito while you hug him.
"If... if it will make you that way, I won't try it again..."
In the end, Akito didn't leave you for the whole night, focing you to accept him at your place... he can't handle you wanting to do this.
冬弥♥︎ (俺の彼氏) ❄️
You couldn't handle it. Everything was so tough. Everything. You couldn't breathe, it was hard. How are you going to do it with so much pressure? So much stress? You feel unlovable, you feel empty. Who would care if you died? I mean... they would cry for a while, but... later they would forget you. They always do, don't they? Your friends, family, people you care for... they all have a first place, and it was not you. You're just alive to bother, you're just letting people down, your presence was a nuisance, everyone only invited you to go out out of pure obligation. They didn't care at all. So, why would you keep being a weight to them? A pain on the ass? You feel so stupid, so helpless, so miserable. Everything is going wrong to you in your life, you see no future... so, why move forward to suffer more when you could just end it all? The pain would go away, your friends and known people would be happy after a while in the end... it would be less weight to you and to everyone else.
You keep thinking and thinking, all of this. Everything. Everything was so awful. You look at the train rail, waiting for it to come. You see a soft light at the end of the tunnel, it was arriving... you position yourself in the rail, close your eyes and wait. It will be quick, you thought to yourself.
It was arriving... it was closer and closer... your heart was beating fast out of fear and anxiety, but you knew it's going to be ok. Everything... Everything...
Seconds before the train passed in the rail where you were sitting, you felt a strong grip on your wrist, pulling you out of the rails. You could feel the drift from the train passing behind you. You open your eyes, to find a sight of a split-haired boy, looking at you with tears in his eyes, panting.
"W-what were you trying to do..." he speaks with his voice shaking and stuttering. The known sight of Toya, but different... you have never seen him this sad, this despaired, this scared... His eyes were watery, and his cheeks were also wet. He grips onto you and hugs you as tight as he can. You can feel his body shaking. Tears start to form in your eyes when you realise what's going on around you... Toya... what you tried to do... everything... he was holding your suicide letter tightly.
"What... what did you mean by... 'I won't be a bother anymore. It will be one less weight to your life'... What... what made you think that? You were never a weight, never. Did I do something for you to think that way?" – Toya speaks pulling away slightly from the hug, tears roll down his cheeks, he holds both of your hands tightly.
You shake your head, you speak quietly and painfully "I couldn't handle life anymore... I'm sorry... you haven't done anything wrong. It's just me... I think the meds weren't making effect, or my depression just got worse-"
Toya puts a finger in your mouth, he looks at you with empathy and pure care
"You don't have to apologise or explain yourself... just, promise you won't try this again... or this..." – Toya speaks, he takes your wrist in his hand, showing your scars, some of them fresh and some of them old.
"I care about you deeply... I don't want to lose you. I don't... I love you way too much to let you go"
He holds both of your hands tightly, as if you were to vanish within seconds. He wraps his arms around your waist and strokes your backs back and forth, a soothing and gentle motion.
"If... if that's the case... I'll try my best to also show you how much I care about you"
Toya, after that, will try his best to take smiles from you. Whatever if it's giving you gifts, hugging you, using words of affirmation, or making silly jokes, he will try his best. He also bakes a lot for you, your favourite things (and they're really, really good. Toya always think so much about you, he does his best to bake the best desserts and cook the best food for you ♥︎)
Later on that night, Toya brought you to your place and you two stayed in, playing games or doing anything that would make you happy and enjoy yourself. He will ask you if you two can cuddle, he would always ask if he could touch you in any situation~
Always remember... Akito and Toya will always be there to love you and care about you <3
They would never let something like this happen to you, you're too precious to them
Always have this in mind <3 stay safe
A/N: HELP ME I'm sorry if this got a bit too... uhhh... personal... cuz like I started adding some reasons to the reader's attempt of suicide, I had to think of smt and i ended up putting some of my feelings 😭 i hope u like it, stay safe guys <3 ty for sending me reqs and for the last 121 notes :P
random dating headcanons with Fantasista SQUAD ( separate )
Contains : fluff, sunshine and rainbows, ooc everyone? and GN!Reader.
Summary : None. Just random dating heacanons.
Notes : I’m tiering the current event because I’m a Honami oshi I need a break so here you go ! It’s how I view them, but it might be terribly wrong because I only care about my queen Honami Mochizuki 🙏 English isn’t my first language.
→ Tsukasa Tenma
He confessed first, in a very overdramatic, exaggerating and so Tsukasa Tenma way. You couldn’t help but laugh before quickly reciprocating his feelings. He truly thought he was the luckiest man alive at this moment.
He always softens his voice around you, probably without really noticing it himself.
He keeps reminding you how much he loves and cares about you every day ! This ray of sunshine can’t spend a day without saying ‘I love you’ in some kind of way.
He always compliments you. Like, for everything you do. You got a high grade ? He praises you ! You got a low grade ? He still praises you for your efforts !
He would be overexcited if you came to one of his shows. He would probably overdo it ( if that’s not already the case ) the moment he spots you in the crowd !
All of his friends, family, classmates, everyone, knows about you. The moment you got together ? He practically yelled that he was the happiest man alive.
He has a busy schedule, but he always makes sure to spend time with you whenever possible. He would really want to spend more time with you, but his dream is also important and he’s glad you understand and support him ! You really are his number one fan !
In return, he also supports you with whatever you wanna do ! You don’t feel like going to college after you graduate ? No problem ! You also want to become a star like him ??? Let’s train together !! He’s your biggest supporter !
He notices something is wrong with you right away. He won’t push it if you don’t wanna talk about it, but he always reminds you that he’ll be here to listen whenever you feel more comfortable to share it with him !
He is a big big fan of PDA. Hold his hand whenever you want. Kiss him on the cheek in public and he’ll melt.
Your first kiss was truly one of a kind. He was so flustered and shy, yes, really out of character for him. He couldn’t help himself, you were just so cute !
— "It was just a quick peck Tsukasa. You look like you’re gonna explode."
— "I-I can’t help it ! You’re too cute… I hear my heart beating super fast in my head…"
-> Rui Kamishiro
You confessed first. Rui Kamishiro knew he loved you, but he was planning to take his feelings into the grave with him. He never planned to tell you, your friendship was just too precious to him to risk it all with a confession. But you guys are now together so… let’s go ?
He always teases you whenever he can. Your face is just too cute for him not to tease, so forgive him will you ?
He loves when you watch him build his robots. He yaps about ideas he has for the shows, and you listen with that focused expression of yours. He loves being listened to, and you always do that without complaining. How could he not love you seriously ?
His close friends know about you. He’s not the type to tell everyone that you are together, but you can share that information with anyone you want. He doesn’t mind.
He always loves when you go to his shows. It warms his heart.
He doesn’t say ‘I love you’ often, but he shows it instead. He always checks up on you, ruffles your hair, and his eyes always find you in a crowd.
He trusts you deeply. He wouldn’t have accepted your confession otherwise. So please don’t break his heart.
He always includes you in his stupid plans with Tsukasa, but he always makes sure you don’t end up in trouble. The last thing he wants is you to get hurt because of a robot or being excluded from school.
If you start to yap about something, he will never stop you. He listens with interest and remembers everything you say. And I mean everything. Yeah that time you mentioned you saw a cute bracelet with a friend three weeks ago ? It’s on your school desk one day. How did he know it was that exact model ? Ah. No idea.
He made a cute mini robot of you. Obviously. It’s never on stage, but he keeps it near him when you’re not here to watch him build the robots.
He doesn’t really mind PDA. But not when it’s too crowded. Even if you can hold his hand if you want.
Your first kiss came naturally. You were beside him when he was fixing one of his robots, and he saw you staring at him in the corner of his eye. And when he glanced at you and you didn’t look away ? He instinctually leaned forward and pecked your lips.
— "You could have just asked if you wanted a kiss, you know. No need to stare at me like that."
— "Was it that obvious…?"
-> Akito Shinonome
He was in denial until the very end. Akito Shinonome catching feelings for you ? Nah. Until he couldn’t ignore it anymore. So he started to avoid you. But you confronted him about it and he ended up literally yelling his feelings at you. It wasn’t romantic, it was an angry confession. So you called him an idiot and reciprocated his feelings, leaving him speechless. Congratulations ?
That guy is such a tsundere. Compliments or praises from him are near inexistant. It gets better over time, but you may wait a while.
In return, if you compliment him a lot, he might end up burning from embarrassment. He can’t stand your horribly sweet voice complimenting him, he hates that he loves that.
He enjoys going to eat sweets with you, but he will never admit it. He may even share some of his pancakes with you if you’re lucky.
Only Toya knew about you in the beginning. But An and Kohane ended up learning about you as well. It’s not that he’s ashamed of you, not at all, but he doesn’t really want everyone to know. He’ll ask you to keep it with your close friends as well.
He’s very jealous though ! He trusts you, but the people that are a little too close to you to his liking ? Nah. He always grabs your wrist and invents an excuse to go whenever that happens. It’s one of the rare times that the thought of touching your hand in public doesn’t embarrass him.
Speaking of the devil. He hates PDA with a passion. He’s way too embarrassed for that ! If you really want to, and that he’s feeling nice today, you can hold his pinky. But that’s it.
In private, it’s another story. He doesn’t mind the proximity now that you two are alone. In fact, there is always a hand on you whenever you’re close enough. In your hair ? On your back ? Anywhere he can reach. It’s the only time he really shows that he loves you, and he knows he sucks at that. So he always makes sure that those rare moments are the proof of that.
The first time he told you ‘I love you’ ? You froze and made him repeat it almost 100 times until you were sure you weren’t dreaming.
You always help him practice ! He expects constructive criticism though ! Even if he knows you’ll always be a little biased. He really treasures your opinion.
The moment all his group knew about you ? You were dragged everywhere with them. An still can’t believe someone as amazing as you has feelings for Akito. She’s super happy for the both of you though !
You always make sure to go to his concert. You know all of their songs and could practically hear him sing for days straight. You’re his number one fan. And even if he finds it embarrassing to see you cheer him in the crowd, he can’t stop his heart from racing.
Your first kiss was surprisingly him who initiated it ! He thought about it for a while, he really wanted to kiss you. But he was too embarrassed and too scared to mess up so he kept delaying it. Until one day, as you kept yapping about whatever you had on your mind, he had enough and kissed you to shut you up. Mission succeeded.
— "… Can I get another—"
— "No."
-> Toya Aoyagi
You confessed first. You knew his feelings for you. I mean, Toya Aoyagi was not very subtle about his growing affection for you anymore. But he didn’t want to confess until he was 100% sure you shared the same feeling. Even if you dropped hints bigger than his house. But he accepted your confession with a warm smile on his face ! He was just so happy !
He always smiles when you’re around you. Your presence brings him joy and peace, you don’t have to do anything. Just being there suffices.
He loves listening to you. You could talk about anything and he would listen like you talk about something utterly important.
He notices every single quirk of yours. It makes you unique. It makes you, you. And he loves you.
He completely forgot to share the news with his friends. Not that he didn’t want to, they just didn’t ask so he forgot. He would never forget the expression on their faces when he abruptly took your hand and told you that you looked pretty. Since when were you guys were together ????
He plays the piano for you. He knows you love when he does that. And he doesn’t mind playing it for you. He never remembers any bad memories when he plays for you. He actually loves playing the piano when you’re here. And if you lean your head against his shoulder while he plays ? He melts.
He may be dense sometimes. So you may need to be straightforward with what you would like. If you wanna hold his hand, just tell him. He’ll raise his hand to you right away.
He likes PDA, but he would never ask for it. He doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable but he would gladly give you affection if you asked.
Tsukasa obviously knows about you ! He actually was the first to know since he forgot to tell his group. Toya even asked him for advice before going out with you, but the star’s advice was so… shiny that he didn’t end up listening to them.
He absolutely loves when you go to his shows ! Although he understands that you’re busy so if one day you can’t that’s totally okay !
Your first kiss was so sweet. You initiated it. He was playing the piano for you once again, your head leaning against his shoulder, when you suddenly felt bold. You poked his cheek so that he glanced at you, and when he turned his head you gently pecked his lips. The fingers on the piano froze but the look of absolute adoration in his eyes ? You would never forget that.
— "… Toya are you okay ?"
— "… Wow. Is this what being in heaven feels like ?"
It's actually Mizuki that points this out. She spends a lot of time online and finds someone talking about the all or nothing emotional aspect, so starts reading more about it, and then sends the information to Mafuyu with a kind message of "Hey, don't wanna pressure you or anything, but I've been reading up on this and it sounds like you."
Mizuki kinda expects Mafuyu to react badly to this, or not react at all.
What she doesn't expect is Mafuyu crying out of relief that everything she's going through has a name, and she's not the only person to have to live like this.
When you just had Surgery
Characters: The Herta, Blade, Cyrene
☆ She would be familiar with these types of procedures, just because she is a scientist and definitely has studied the human body of course
☆ She'd be there the entire time (well in the waiting room), she'd kiss you before you begin surgery, and then see you upon waking up
☆ Before your surgery shes also very strict with reminding you what to do the day of and after
☆ If you're feeling unwell after it, she and her millions of Herta puppets are your #1 caretakers!, whenever you need it, they are by your side
☆ She also buys you whatever foods you want (assuming they are safe to eat after the surgery)
☆ Lots of cuddles, she lets you rest and occasionally will send her puppets to do her work for her to be able and spend time with you
☆ Blade will be there with you, but mainly after the surgery
☆ He'll buy everything you need, the premium version of everything
☆ He also spends most of the day forcing you to stay in your bed, and if he absolutely has to leave your side then he'll send Kafka or Silver Wolf to watch over you in his place
☆ He wants someone with you to get whatever you need at all times
☆ And since you had surgery Blade will let you cuddle him as much as you want to
☆ If you need anything, he will also send Silver Wolf or Kafka to buy you a few things, if he says they're helping your surgery then there's
☆ Cyrene is definitely the most comforting before and after the surgery out of everyone
☆ She knows what to say to reassure you, and knows exactly how to care for you at the end of it
☆ And she'll definitely be in the waiting room eager to see you and help you however she can
☆ And she stocks up on everything the week before and double checks with your doctor as well
☆ Though if you need anything she'll send Phainon to get what you need
𓏲𑁘 -- cortis x f!reader smau
SYNOPSIS ♡𝅼 cortis supporting your gambling addiction with gacha games.
gacha games mentioned : hsr, genshin , h13 , arknights n r1999
(hint of pjsk)
WARNINGS swearing, a hint of flirting in martin's part, 67 jokes, don't spend money on gacha games guys!! The pics in juhoon's part is STRECHED out SORRY
can be viewed as platonic or romantic !
SYNOPSIS: You and phainon have been inseparable ever since high school, not in a most people might think. But in a "i hate you" "im better than you" way. constantly competing against eachother but then some things start to interfere between the two of you making things more complicated
content warnings: foul language, modern au, non canon unverse, might have ooc characters, (ive lost my writing skill), suggestive, smut, pathetic phainon, reader is kinda insecure idk
You first learned Phainon’s name when you were sixteen and furious.
It was written at the top of the rankings board outside the academic hall, sitting just above yours by a fraction of a point. You remembered staring at it for a long moment, jaw tight, thinking that surely—surely—it had to be a mistake.
it wasn't.
Phainon of Aedes Elysiae had a habit of appearing exactly where you didn’t want him to be. Top of the class. First to finish exams. Being everyones favourite without having to try hard, He didn’t gloat or smirk. If anything, he looked vaguely apologetic every time he outperformed someone.
and that was infuriating.
By the time college rolled around, the rivalry had followed you both like an old shadow. Different dorms, same program. Different friend groups, same lecture halls. It became a pattern: you would arrive early, settle into your seat, pull out your notes—and moments later, Phainon would appear, tall frame folding into the chair a row ahead or beside you, fluffy hair a little messy but good looking anyways.
He always greeted you with those gentle eyes and a smile which was different from what he would give the others. He was mocking you, or that's what you thought atleast.
You’d nod back. “Morning.”
During lectures, you both answered questions with frightening consistency. When the professor posed something complex, there was always that split second of silence—just long enough for the class to hold its breath—before either you or Phainon spoke.
Sometimes it was you.
Sometimes it was him.
When it was him, you clenched your jaw and wrote faster. When it was you, you could feel his gaze on you— As if he were genuinely listening. As if he were impressed
It wasn’t like he tried to outshine you directly. He never interrupted. Never corrected you in front of others. If anything, he tended to build on your answers, adding a thought here, a clarification there, always respectful. Always careful.
Like he didn’t want to step on your toes.
Which, frankly, felt worse than if he had.
Your classmates adored him. Professors trusted him. Even the most cynical students seemed to soften around him, drawn in by his warm, charming and reassuring confidence. You overheard people talk about him in whispers—He’s so smart, He’s actually really nice, I wish I could study with him.
The first real bicker happened during a study hall you hadn’t planned on attending. You’d claimed a corner table in the library, notes spread out, headphones in but not playing anything. You were halfway through reorganizing a page when a familiar shadow fell across your paper.
“Mind if I sit here”
You didn’t look up. “The library has plenty of chairs.”
A pause, Then the soft scrape of a chair anyway.
You sighed and finally glanced at him. He was already settling in, sleeves rolled up, exposing his strong forearms, expression calm in that infuriatingly gentle way. “I’ll take that as a no but I’m sitting anyway”
“That wasn’t an invitation,” you said flatly.
He smiled, “I know.”
That did it. Something in your chest tightened, irritation blooming warm and sharp. “You’re unbelievable.”
“Am I” he asked lightly, opening his notebook. “I think I’m pretty predictable.”
“You show up everywhere I am,” you shot back. “It’s distracting.”
He blinked, then laughed softly under his breath, like you’d said something unexpected but amusing. “You say that like it’s intentional.”
“It isn’t?”
He tilted his head, considering you with that same attentive look he used during lectures. “If it were, I’d admit it.”
You looked back down at your notes, jaw tight. He’s doing it again, you thought. That calm, easy tone like nothing ever rattled him. Like this rivalry was just a game you were playing alone.
Minutes passed in silence, broken only by the turn of pages and the scratch of pens. You tried to focus. Really tried. But every so often, you could feel his eyes flick toward you, not staring, just checking. As if making sure you were still there.
“You’re outlining that wrong,” he said eventually, mild as a comment about the weather.
You froze. Slowly, you looked up. “Excuse me”
He leaned closer—not invading your personal space, just enough to glance at your page. “Your conclusion is solid but if you move this argument earlier, the flow improves. Otherwise you’ll have to justify it twice.”
There it was. That careful tone. That helpfulness you never asked for.
“I didn’t ask for help,” you said.
"I know, but i still did anyways"
You turned back to your notes, pen hovering uselessly above the page. “You realize that makes you annoying, right.”
He smiled, soft and unbothered, leaning back in his chair. “I’ve been told worse.”
“That doesn’t surprise me.”
You expected him to push back, to tease or defend himself, but instead he let the comment sit there between you. The quiet stretched, comfortable in a way you didn’t like admittign at all.
“You don’t have to take the suggestion,” he said after a moment, voice gentler now. “I just thought it might help. You’re already close.”
That word again. Close. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it settled somewhere under your ribs, warm and irritating all at once. You hated that he noticed things like that. That he paid attention.
“I don’t need you monitoring my progress,” you muttered.
“I’m not monitoring,” he replied easily. “I’m observing. There’s a difference.”
"insufferable idiot."
You expected him to laugh louder at that, maybe throw something clever back at you, something sharp. Instead, he just looked at you for a second too long, that same gentle expression settling on his face, lips curved into an easy smile.
Which only made your irritation spike.
“Why are you smiling,” you asked flatly. “Did I say something funny.”
He blinked, clearly caught off guard. “No. I just—”
“Because it looks like you’re enjoying this,” you cut in, eyes narrowing. “Like you get a kick out of hovering over my work and pretending you’re being helpful.”
His expression shifted then, the smile faltering just slightly, like you’d knocked something fragile off balance.
“That’s not—” he started, but you were already gathering your things, shoving your notebook into your bag with more force than necessary. The zipper snagged. You yanked it closed anyway.
“Save it,” you muttered, slinging the strap over your shoulder.
He stood halfway, chair legs scraping softly against the floor. “Hey. I didn’t mean—”
You didn’t look at him. If you did, you knew you’d see that same calm concern in his eyes, and it would only make everything worse. Instead, you turned and walked away, steps quick and clipped, jaw set tight.
The hallway outside felt colder somehow. Your footsteps echoed as you moved toward the exit, heart thudding harder than it should have. You told yourself it was anger. Annoyance. Nothing else.
Behind you, you thought you heard him call your name—not loudly, not chasing. Just once. Like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to.
You didn’t stop.
The walk back to your dorm was longer than usual. The campus paths blurred past as you replayed the conversation in your head, over and over, dissecting every word, every look. That smile. Always that smile, that beautiful warm smile making you feel fuzzy. Like he understood something you didn’t.
It made your chest ache in a way you refused to name.
By the time you reached your dorm building, the irritation had dulled into something heavier, more frustrating. You climbed the stairs two at a time, unlocked your door, and shut it behind you with a quiet click.
You dropped your bag by the desk and leaned back against the door, exhaling slowly.
You immediately flop onto the bed with your phone in hand, maybe you need a break..
You sank into the mattress face-up, one arm flung over your eyes, phone balanced loosely in your other hand. The ceiling stared back at you, blank and unhelpful. Your heart was still going a little too fast.
“A break,” you muttered to no one. “I need a break.”
You unlocked your phone on instinct, thumb scrolling without direction. Notifications. Group chats. A reminder about an upcoming quiz that made you groan and roll onto your side, burying half your face into the pillow. You exited out of it immediately.
From studies and Phainon.
Except your brain, traitorous as ever, refused to cooperate.
You saw him anyway. The way he’d leaned over, careful not to crowd you. The quiet certainty in his voice. That look—soft, attentive, like he was genuinely interested in how your mind worked. Not mocking. Never mocking. And that realization only annoyed you more.
You turned your phone off and let it fall onto the bed beside you with a dull thud.
“Why do you have to be like that,” you murmured into the sheets, words muffled. Nice. Patient. Infuriatingly kind. So gorgeous, attractive, ugh..you felt doomed.
Avoiding Phainon turned out to be easier than you expected and harder than it should have been.
You stopped arriving early to lectures. Sometimes you didn’t arrive at all. You stayed curled in your dorm room instead, blinds half-drawn, the world reduced to the hum of the heater and the scratch of pens from the desk across the room where Hyacine sat with impossible posture, color-coding her notes. (i hc that hyacine has a shrimp posture)
She noticed, of course, your emotions are practically like an open book to read.
“You skipped Cognitive Systems again,” she said one afternoon without looking up, her voice light but deliberate. “That’s the third time this week.”
“I wasn’t feeling it,” you replied from your bed, staring at the crack in the ceiling that vaguely resembled a constellation if you squinted hard enough.
Hyacine hummed, unimpressed. “You’ve never ‘not felt’ a lecture in your life.”
You rolled onto your side, pulling your blanket up to your chin. “People change.”
She finally glanced over at you then, one perfectly groomed brow lifting. “Is this about Phainon.”
“No,” you said immediately.
Hyacine stared at you with her large doe eyes.
“…Not entirely,” you amended.
Hyacine let out a little sigh, her fingers still scribbling notes but her gaze softening on you. “You know, you’ve been bedrotting for—what?—three days straight now?” She tilted her head, one hand propping up her chin in that impossibly delicate way, like she was both amused and exasperated at once. “Stop bedrotting alreadyyy!” she added, voice sing-song, like trying to coax a stubborn cat out of hiding.
You groaned into your pillow, muffling your reply. “I’m not… bedrotting… I’m… resting…”
“Resting?” she echoed, voice rising slightly in mock disbelief. “You’re turning into a little human burrito, wrapped up, And not even in a productive way.” She finally slid out of her chair, moving to stand at the edge of your bed. Her presence was bright, like sunlight spilling into the room through the blinds, and somehow infuriatingly cheerful. “Come on. The world’s still out there, y’know. Classes exist. Food exists. And unless you want to turn into a permanent fossil, you might want to leave this mattress before it files a restraining order against you.”
You groaned again, but a part of you—the part that hated admitting Hyacine was right—started to shift under her relentless cheer. Her energy was warm and insistent, the kind that made you feel like sulking was a little selfish.
“C’mon,” she said, grabbing your wrist and tugging gently but firmly. “If you stay here, you’re only feeding your brain with more doom thoughts. You need air. You need sunlight. You need… maybe even a coffee. Or two. Or five.”
You squirmed under her grip, muttering protestations, but her grin was unwavering, and her bright eyes practically dared you to resist. Somehow, you didn’t resist. You let yourself be pulled upright, hair mussed and blanket slipping, glaring at her with the smallest, begrudging acknowledgment that she had won this round.
“Theres my pretty roomie!” she said triumphantly, clapping her hands together. “Up you go!"
"You're not being awesomesauce right now.."
"You are a nerd! who even uses awesomesauce nowadays"
You stumbled after her, half-grumbling, half-sighing, but she didn’t give you room to argue. Her energy was infectious, like she was the sun and rainbows. The walk outside the dorm building was brisk, the air cool and sharp, and it hit your senses like a slap you didn’t know you needed. Birds chirped in the trees lining the campus, and somewhere nearby, students were laughing over coffee and chatter.
Hyacine nudged your shoulder, nudged it again when you lagged. “See? Isn’t this better than staring at a ceiling all day?”
You glanced at her, noting the faint shimmer of her silk scarf, the subtle gold bracelet on her wrist catching the light. The glimmer of the "twillight courtyard" engraved in her bracelet, it was astonishing really how she already became the top intern of the hospital. But instead of making you feel insecure it makes you feel happy, she was a senior to you anyways despite not looking like it.
She led you off-campus, down cobblestone streets where small cafés and bakeries had just started setting out their morning trays. “Pastries first,” she declared, tugging you toward a tiny shop tucked between a florist and a bookshop. “Then we’ll shop for something practical—you need actual clothes besides dorm sweats—and maybe some new books? definitely romance because everyone BUT you has some love going on, so you might aswell read about it!"
"Excuse me what do you mean by th-"
She cut you off as she chatted about the pastries, pointing out which croissants were flaky enough to be worth it, which cinnamon buns were outrageously sweet, and you found yourself actually smiling at her commentary, rolling your eyes less than usual.
When you paid, she insisted on picking up your share, waving your protests off with a flick of her hand. “I told you, my treat. You’re too grumpy to handle the cashier,” she said, nudging you playfully with her elbow, handing you a peach-lemon iced tea.
You took a sip, the warmth spreading through your hands and chest, and, against your stubborn self, had to admit she was right.
And you finally smiled at her, genuinely.
.....
Hyacine unlocked the door with a practiced flick of her wrist and nudged it open with her shoulder. “See?” she said lightly, stepping aside to let you in. “Still the same room. Still safe. But you’re different now.”
You scoffed, dropping your bags beside your desk. “I bought socks and a notebook. Don't overreact.”
“Mmm,” she hummed, kicking off her shoes and immediately curling into her chair with that familiar shrimp posture, legs tucked under her. “Disagree. You smiled outside. That counts as character development.”
You rolled your eyes, but the edge wasn’t there anymore. You sat down on your bed instead of collapsing into it, shoulders loosening as you exhaled. The room felt calm.
Hyacine watched you for a moment, softer now. “You don’t have to figure everything out today,” she said, almost casually, but you knew her well enough to hear the intention behind it. “Avoiding someone for a bit doesn’t make you weak. It just means you’re… processing.”
You picked at the seam of your sleeve. “What if I’m just being childish.”
She smiled, not teasing this time. “Then you’re being human. Big difference.”
Hyacine stretched, arms raised above her head. “I’ve got rounds tomorrow morning, so I’m turning in early,” she said, already reaching for her planner. “But you? You’re coming to class tomorrow. Even if you sit in the back. Even if you don’t say a word.”
You hesitated, then nodded once. “Yeah. Okay.”
She grinned, satisfied. “Good. Progress.”
Phainon noticed your absence before he admitted it to himself.
The first day, he told himself you were just late. You always arrived early, but everyone broke habits sometimes. He kept glancing at the door during lecture anyway, pen hovering uselessly above his notebook, ears straining for footsteps that never came. When class ended and your seat stayed empty, a quiet unease settled in his chest.
The second day, it became impossible to ignore.
Your chair was still empty. Your name wasn’t called during discussion. When the professor asked a question you usually would’ve answered quickly with a smug grin on your face looking at him.
By the third day, he was miserable about it.
He sat in the library with three open textbooks and absorbed none of them. His eyes kept drifting to the entrance, then to his phone, then back again. No messages. No accidental run-ins. No quiet glare from across the room that told him you were there and still competing.
He missed it. Gods, he missed you.
He replayed your last conversation on a loop, wincing every time. The way you’d narrowed your eyes. The way your voice had gone flat. He’d smiled—why had he smiled?—and watched you walk away like he deserved it, like he didn’t have the right to stop you.
“I wasn’t mocking you,” he murmured to no one, chin resting in his palm as he stared at a half-written paragraph. “I was just… happy to talk to you.”
Pathetic, he thought distantly. Completely, utterly pathetic.
His friends noticed, of course.
“You’ve been staring at that page for ten minutes,” someone said from across the table. “You okay, Phainon?”
He nodded automatically. “Yeah. Just tired.”
That was a lie. He wasn’t tired—he was restless. He felt off-balance, like something important had been quietly removed from his routine and no one had warned him. Even walking across campus felt wrong without the possibility of running into you, without the sharp back-and-forth, the tension that kept him alert.
He passed by your dorm once. Accidentally. On purpose.
He didn’t go in. He didn’t text. He just stood there for a moment, hands shoved in his pockets, staring at the building like it might give him answers. Like you might suddenly appear, arms crossed, expression unimpressed, ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
He would’ve listened. He would’ve apologized. He would’ve taken it.
Instead, he turned away, shoulders slumping, feeling foolish for hoping.
“I should give you space,” he told himself quietly as he walked back toward his own dorm. “That’s what you want. Probably.”
The word probably echoed unpleasantly.
That night, lying in bed, he stared at the ceiling, replaying the sound of your voice saying his name—sharp, annoyed, alive. He missed the way you challenged him, the way you looked at him like an equal rival instead of an idol, you made him feel free instead of burdened.
...
Mydei listened to Phainon complain for exactly three minutes before deciding he’d had enough.
They were in the baking club kitchen which was warm with the smell of bread and sugar, the low hum of ovens filling the silence Phainon kept breaking. Mydei stood at the counter, broad shoulders hunched as he kneaded dough with aggression. Phainon sat on a stool nearby, elbows on the counter, chin in his hands, staring into nothing with sadness in eyes only seen in the eyes of european victorian twinks.
“I think I upset them,” Phainon said for the fourth time, voice low and miserable.
Mydei did not look at him. “You’ve said that.”
“I didn’t mean to,” Phainon continued, words tumbling out anyway. “I was just trying to help. They always look so focused, and I thought—maybe if I said something useful, they wouldn’t feel so alone.”
Mydei slammed the dough down harder than necessary. “You are unbearable.”
Phainon flinched. “I know.”
That, finally, made Mydei pause. He glanced sideways, frown deepening when he saw Phainon’s expression—eyes dull, shoulders slumped, smile nowhere to be found. He clicked his tongue in irritation.
“You haven’t seen them in how long,” Mydei asked.
“Three days,” Phainon said instantly. Too instantly. Like he’d been counting.
Mydei scoffed. “And you’re acting like someone died.”
“They might hate me,” Phainon said quietly.
“Oh titans” Mydei muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “They skipped a few classes, Phainon. They didn’t announce their hatred against you"
Phainon shook his head, curls falling into his eyes. “You didn’t see the way they looked at me. Like I was… mocking them. I never would.”
“Well,” Mydei said flatly, returning to his dough, “you do have a very punchable polite smile.”
“That’s not helpful.”
“It is honest.”
Phainon let out a small, miserable sound—something halfway between a sigh and a whine—and slumped forward, forehead nearly hitting the counter. “I think about them constantly,” he admitted, voice muffled. “Every lecture. Every question. It’s quieter without them...i hate it :c"
Mydei’s kneading slowed.
“Do you like them,” he asked, blunt as a blade.
"Of course i do! They are gorgeous, so smart, shes not too much of herself and ...it's not suffocating to be around her"
“You’re down catastrophically,” he said.
Phainon made a soft, defeated noise. “I know.”
Mydei sighed, long and long-suffering, then shoved a tray of unbaked rolls into the oven harder than necessary. “Have you tried,” he said slowly, “talking to them. Like a normal person.”
“They don’t want to see me,” Phainon said immediately. “If they did, they wouldn’t be avoiding me.”
Mydei turned fully now, arms crossed. “Or,” he said, “they’re upset, stubborn, and exactly like you. Waiting for the other person to move first.”
Phainon looked up, hope flickering weakly in his eyes. “You think?”
“I think,” Mydei said dryly, “that if you keep moping in my kitchen instead of doing something, I will personally throw flour at you.”
"Not if i do it first!" Phainon said as he threw the white powder onto Mydei's face before running off"
"HKS!! PHAINON OF AEDES ELYSIAE YOU WILL MEET MY FIST AFTER IM DONE BAKING!!"
Phainon did not look back.
He bolted down the corridor with the grace of someone who had absolutely no grace when panicking, laughter bubbling out of him despite the very real threat of Mydei’s wrath echoing behind him. He skidded around a corner, nearly collided with a cart of cooling pastries, whispered a frantic apology to no one in particular, and ducked into the first open door he saw.
He slammed it shut behind him and pressed his back against it, chest heaving, hands braced on his knees.
Safe.
Probably.
The room was… small. Uncomfortably so. A storage room, maybe—barely enough space for two people to stand without brushing shoulders. Shelves lined the walls, stacked with old boxes and cleaning supplies, the air smelling faintly of paper and detergent. A single dim light buzzed overhead.
Phainon exhaled, relief loosening his shoulders.
Then—
“…Phainon?”
what the HELL. Does life hate you? Do the titans hate you? because what is phainon doing here.
That was the exact thought screaming through your head as you stared at him in the cramped supply closet, your back barely brushing the shelf behind you. You’d come in here for one reason and one reason only—to escape the girls’ restroom crowd and swipe on some lip gloss in peace. Two minutes. That was all you wanted.
Instead, you got… this.
Phainon blinked at you like he’d been caught committing a crime. Which, judging by the way his shoulders stiffened and his eyes widened slightly, he probably felt like he had.
“I—” he started, then stopped. “I didn’t know anyone else was in here.”
“Clearly,” you muttered, fingers tightening around the lip gloss tube in your hand. Your heart was beating far too loud for such a mundane situation.
The room felt even smaller with him fully turned toward you now. You took half a step back on instinct—and immediately regretted it.
Phainon moved at the same time, equally startled, one hand flying out to steady himself against the wall.
Except the wall was right beside your head.
His palm hit the surface with a soft thud, and suddenly he was way too close. Not touching—not really—but close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating off him, close enough that his sleeve brushed your arm when he inhaled.
You froze. You could practically feel his scent, his scent which made your heart flutter. God he was mesmerizing.. now that your head was finally cleared up, you could see why in terms of looks he was voted 1st.
“Oh—sorry—!” he blurted out immediately, trying to pull back, except there was nowhere to go. Shelves behind you. Boxes beside him. The door—
The door.
You glanced past his shoulder just in time to hear the unmistakable click.
Locked.
The silence that followed was deafening.
Phainon’s eyes flicked to the door, then back to you, horror dawning on his face. “It… it locks automatically,” he said, voice low, like he was afraid speaking too loudly might make it worse.
You closed your eyes for half a second, inhaled, then opened them again. “Of course it does.”
“I swear I didn’t mean to—” He shifted again, careful this time, pulling his arm back immediately and pressing himself closer to the opposite shelf instead. “I can move. I mean—I am moving. I just—there’s not a lot of space.”
“I’ve noticed,” you replied, a little too quickly.
Your reflection stared back at you from the small mirror mounted crookedly on the wall—lip gloss uncapped, expression caught somewhere between disbelief and flustered irritation. You capped it again with a soft click, hands not quite as steady as you’d like.
Phainon cleared his throat. “For what it’s worth,” he added, quieter now, “this is… not how I planned to see you again.”
You let out a short breath that might’ve been a laugh if it hadn’t been edged with nerves. “Same.”
Outside, footsteps passed. Voices. Life continuing on, blissfully unaware that the universe had decided to trap you and your academic rival in a supply closet the size of a confession booth.
You crossed your arms, eyes flicking back to him. “So,” you said flatly, “are we going to acknowledge how insane this is, or pretend it’s normal until someone lets us out.”
Phainon hesitated—then smiled, small and sheepish, not mocking this time. “I vote for acknowledging it.”
You sighed. “Figures.”
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said suddenly.
You stiffened. “I took a few days.”
“Three,” he replied, then winced. “Not that I counted.”
You turned to look at him despite yourself. “You counted.”
His ears went red. Actually red. “I—I notice patterns. It’s a habit.”
“Of course it is,” you muttered, though there was no real bite in it this time.
Another pausem was longer.
“I missed you,” Phainon said, softly enough that it felt like the room absorbed the words before you did.
That stopped you cold.
You swallowed. “You’re not supposed to say things like that in locked supply closets.”
“I know,” he said immediately. “I’m sorry. I just—every time you’re not there, everything feels… off. Like I’m answering questions into empty space.”
You laughed quietly, more breath than sound. “You’re dramatic.”
“Only about important things.
You opened your mouth to snap back with something clever—something sharp, something that would put distance back where it belonged—but nothing came out. Your throat felt tight. Annoyingly so. You hated that he could do this. That he could say something so earnest it knocked the breath out of you.
So instead, you looked at him, up at him eyebrows furrowed, you felt so vulnerable now.. it was annoying.
That was a mistake.
He was already looking at you—really looking. Not like in lectures, not like when you were rivals circling the same problem. This was quieter. Focused. His eyes softened when they met yours, like he’d found something he’d been missing and wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.
You swallowed again. “You’re… staring.”
“Sorry,” he said automatically—and then didn’t look away. “I just—when you’re close, I forget what I’m supposed to do.”
Your pulse jumped traitorously. You shifted your weight, trying to create space that didn’t exist, your shoulder brushing the shelf behind you. “You’re supposed to argue with me,” you said, voice steadier than you felt. “Outscore me. Annoy me.”
A small smile tugged at his mouth. “I do that too.”
"Just...stop looking at me with those eyes?"
"What eyes?"
You huffed, turning your face slightly away from him like that would help. It didn’t. You could still feel his attention, warm and intent, like sunlight pressing through closed lids. “Those,” you said vaguely. “The ones that make it hard to think.”
He let out a quiet, breathy laugh, more nervous than amused. “I can’t help that,” he admitted. “You always look like you’re about to say something brilliant or devastating. Sometimes both.”
“That is not a compliment.”
“It is to me.”
You snapped your gaze back to him, ready to retort—and faltered. Because he wasn’t teasing. There was no smugness, no mockery. Just that same earnest focus, like you were a problem he wanted to understand, not solve.
“You’re doing it again,” you said, more softly now.
His fingers twitched at his side, like he was resisting the urge to reach out. “I know,” he said. “I just… I don’t get many moments like this with you. Usually you’re already halfway out the door.”
“Maybe because you’re unbearable,” you shot back weakly.
“Maybe,” he agreed easily, then hesitated. “Or maybe because you don’t realize how much space you take up in my head.”
Phainon let out a slow, shaky breath, like he’d been holding it far too long. You felt it brush the crook of your neck before you could stop yourself from noticing, warm and uneven, sending a shiver straight down your spine.
He leaned forward just enough that you had to tilt your chin up to look at him. Gods, he was tall—always had been—but this close it felt unfair, the way his presence seemed to take up half the narrow room. His expression had lost its composure entirely now, brows drawn together, mouth parted like he was on the verge of saying too much and terrified of it all the same.
“Please,” he said quietly.
The word hit harder than it should have.
“I’m not good at pretending I don’t care,” he continued, voice dropping, rough around the edges. “And when you ignore me, I don’t know where to put all of this.” He gestured vaguely to his chest, fingers curling into his sweater like it physically hurt. “I keep wondering if I said the wrong thing. Or smiled wrong. Or if you’ve finally decided I’m just… annoying.”
You opened your mouth, then closed it again. Your throat felt tight.
“I don’t need you to like me,” he added quickly, like he was afraid to ask for too much. “I just—don’t leave me guessing. Don’t disappear like that.” His voice wavered, barely, and he hated himself for it. “I notice when you’re gone. Everything’s louder. And emptier.”
He swallowed, eyes flicking to yours, searching, hopeful and terrified all at once.
“So if you’re going to be mad at me,” he said, almost a whisper now, “do it to my face. Argue with me. Compete with me. Just… don’t shut me out.”
You simply stared at his eyes. Phainon looked… undone. His eyes were wide and searching, fixed on yours with a kind of helpless intensity that made your chest ache.
His eyes lingered on your lips, still glossy from earlier, the light catching on them in a way you hadn’t thought twice about until now. You saw his throat bob as he swallowed, like the thought surprised him as much as it startled you.
Almost immediately, his eyes snapped back up to yours.
Caught.
Flushed.
“Oh—” he breathed, like he hadn’t meant to do that at all.
“Hey—” he murmured, voice low, roughened around the edges. “I’m not—I won’t—”
But you were already moving.
Your fingers found his hand almost on instinct, warm against his much larger palm. He froze completely as you lifted it, reverent in a way that made his breath hitch, and pressed a gentle kiss to the inside of his hand. It was nothing. It was everything.
The moment your lips touched his skin, Phainon went still like the world had stopped functioning properly.
You pulled back just as quickly, eyes dropping to the floor, cheeks burning. You couldn’t look at him—not when your heart was pounding like this, not when you could feel his gaze on you so intensely it made your knees weak.
“I—” you started, then stopped.
Phainon exhaled shakily.
“Oh,” he whispered, like the sound had been knocked out of him.
His fingers curled slightly where your lips had been, like he was afraid to move and lose the echo of it. “You can’t do that,” he said desperately. “You can’t be this— this gentle with me and expect me to stay composed.”
You risked a glance up.
Big mistake.
You feel his big arms wrapped around your waist, solid and careful and trembling like he was afraid you might vanish if he loosened his grip even a little.
“Wait—Phai—” you breathed, but he was already leaning in, forehead brushing yours, breath uneven, eyes searching your face one last time like he was asking without words.
When your lips met, it wasn’t gentle.
It was hungry in the way of someone who had been holding himself back for far too long. Not reckless, not rough—but desperate. Like he was afraid this wasn’t real, like if he didn’t hold onto you now he’d wake up and find the space empty again.
His hands anchored you. One slid up to cradle your jaw, thumb warm against your cheek as if memorizing the shape of you. The other stayed firm at your waist, pulling you closer until there was no space left to doubt his intent. You melted into him without thinking, the tension you’d been carrying for days dissolving all at once.
Phainon made a soft sound against your lips—half relief, half disbelief—and kissed you again, slower this time but no less intense. Like he was savoring it now, like he finally believed he was allowed to want this.
Your breath hitched as he pressed impossibly close, his hand sliding from your waist just a little lower reaching our thighs. anchoring you to him in a way that made your knees go weak. You whimpered softly, lips parting against his, and he caught it instantly, deepening the kiss, slipping his tongue in and swallowing every single sound we make, like he was desperate to memorize every sound, every curve, every shiver.
His other hand lingered at your jaw, tilting your face gently, lips molding perfectly against yours, and you could feel the intensity radiating off him, heat pooling between you both in the cramped space. Every exhale, every soft groan against your mouth sent sparks through your chest, and you bit your lip reflexively, tasting him and yourself, caught somewhere between panic and want.
You pull away from the kiss with a string of saliva between the mouths of you two, as your cherry-flavoured lipgloss was smudged over phainon's pretty lips.
"Oh c'mon...baby please don't pull away you taste so good :c" He drags you back but instead he lifts you up effortlessly making you let out a muffled yelp as his bruised lips are back on you. WIth your legs wrapped around his waist
"f-Fuu- Phai-"
Now you feel his hands rushing down your shorts, and his mouth leading down your neck and collarbone leaving a road of kisses, bite marks but you could do nothing, you jsut accepted your fate whining into his touch with overwhelming pleasure.
Your hands gripped his forearms pathetically, unsure whether you wnat him to be gentler or rougher. You would be lying if you said you didn't find this unnattractive, though. Phainon gave a slow, appreciative squeeze, his smile widening after hearing your whine and feeling the slow roll of your hips against his.
You whined, feeling the wet, soft muscle around your hard bud and his thumbs playing with the other one. Your hips hump against the air, crying out his name desperately, feeling a dull ache between your thighs.
"B-baby, fuuckk such pretty tits you have—♥" Phainon whined out, messily sucking on one of your nipples before pulling out with a loud POP!.
He grabs both of your breasts and massages them against each other, practically squishing them, and he was devouring both of your buds. Sucking, licking, biting them, and moaning your name pathetically,
Then before you could realise one finger was already inside your underwear and easily slipped inside your sopping wet cunt ;c
"Ph-phai?!"
"s-sorry pretty...hypnotising me already..ahh fuck" He whined breathlessly as your warm walls squeeze around his big fingers making him groan out your name and he quickly slips one more finger inside, the heat rising in your abdomen chasing your high. You were in euphoria, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. Tongue stuck out of your mouth, and sweat everywhere your body.
Your eyes roll back to the back of your skull, feeling your release wash over you as your thighs shake uncontrollably.
"N-noo~ phAi!?"
"P-pretty girl fuck..wanna taste you please baby please..."
You could only whine in response still trying to catch your breath
"Babyy, you're dripping~" he murmured before the pad of his thumb desperately rubbed circles around your wet, sensitive clit, as he pulls out his fingers making you whimper at the sudden emptiness. Looking at his shameless cerulean blue eyes as he puts the two arousal-coated fingers of his into his mouth sucking each and every juice of yours, And then goes down on his knees.
His hands push your thighs back and rests them on his shoulders as he shoves his face into your pretty lil' cunt, lapping up your essence and sucking you dry. Tongue dwelt deep, snug in your cunt
"wow. so wet and sho...tasty.." he chuckles, then pecking your swollen clit for a split second as you jolt out due to the sudden contact of his lips on your sensitive clit, his fat tongue moves your folds out of the way to continuously make a mess or if your aching cunt.
You felt your stomach churn up, thighs shake harder than ever, you're burning up and grinding against his mouth even more and you finally scream out Phainons name. Your back arching, nipples perky and hands clenching the sheets.
Phainon peeked at you from below your thighs with the dreamiest look on his face, your juices and his spit mixed all over his face- especially his mouth, absolutely drunk on you. His tongue comes out and works out around his lips, tasting you and the most pornographic moan comes out of his lips.
And then you hear a faint sound of zip.. looking down as your eyes widen at his cock, heavy flushed and leaking pre-cum all over. Its so huge and pretty, veiny t the base and pretty pink tip. He easily manhandles you with one hand of his as you feel his tip slobbering all over your swollen clit.
"A-ahh"
He slowly pushes the cockhead against your entrance, slowly pushing it inside as you felt your eyes roll back and tears form.
You choke on a sound. “Pha—Phainon—”
“Shhh,” he whispers, and he smiles, this time with actual faux sympathy, this sadist..“It’ll fit.”
ANd when he's finally done he looks in awe at the small bump on your belly..
"T-too big..."
"Baby it'll fit cmon..dont run away from me now, you're my girl"
His cock was reaching all the right places inside your cunt, filling you up completely, perfectly. Your body tightens around him like you want him inside forever, screaming out muffled moans biting his neck and giving him hickeys all over , lipgloss smudged everywhere your lips and his neck.
Your legs are shaking already sensitive with his tongue and fingers but his cock feels so good..tears slipped from your cheeks and drool comes out as he then desperately rushes to kiss you, trying to taste the cherry on your lips again and to stop anyone from hearing you.
"Sorry pretty...we'll head to my dorm after this? You can scream all you want there"
You only respond with a fucked out whimper feeling his cock bump inside you and outside with every thrust to which with phainon jsut smirks, eyes darkening with lust and leans in to bite your neck.
"Atta girl."
His hips roll again, slow at first, but deeper. Hungrier. Every stroke pushes against that oversensitive spot inside, and with the way you’re already so full—so stretched—it feels like he’s everywhere at once. Your body tries to squirm away, but he pins your hips down with one hand and holds your thigh up with the other.
“Fuck fucl fuck- take it for me pleaseplease~" And with a loud muffled whine against your neck he releases inside you, thighs shaking and supply room filled with the noises of two of you and scent of sex.
Phainon quickly regains his conciosuness seeing you fucked out completely on his cock and chuckles.
"Come on...lets go to my dorm, right pretty girl?"
