Having admired you from afar for months, I saw you triumph, blossom, learn and hold your own. It’s been most inspiring.
And now, in the midst of all that’s happening, to see you re-energise and ignite fills my dark little heart with unspoken delight.
Even the ladies who shall attend online schools and perhaps never perform - darling, every day is a performance! The more ladies in this world are confident, glowing and unashamedly sharing their beauty, the better for the world!
Fantastic to see the amount of fresh flowers popping right up.
Healthy competition is a glorious thing.
I do not dare judge or comment anything that is happening - despite all the rumours regarding my persona, my intent was never to hurt, but rather, to question, and therefore push the Art forward in this perplexingly enchanting country. Not a single word has ever been written with malice in mind.
In a way, my work here is done. If at least two outraged divas exchanged quips of anger in regards to my writing - I am thrilled to have provoked a moment of emotional sharing and colleague communicating. Perhaps the subjects of ethics and etiquette have been raised - to which I can only say hoorah!
Brava, ladies! Brava to those who continue to create!
Beauty and Laughter shall indeed save the world.
Forever yours,
Devilish Dewitt
PS
Surely you know I couldn’t let you go without a little pepper, right, darling?
I do so wish that one day people will actually learn the true meaning of feminism and stop vilifying, stereotyping and dumbing down a beautiful, crucial, deeply empathic, sensitive and sensible philosophy.
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Short summary: I do it because I love you all and want you to excel.
Hoorah, the “most rock’n’roll Burlesque party” in the land made its way to Moscow, uniting Haunted Cathouse belles with Sugar Factory debutants.
Read before blocking, darling!
~The Eternal Manifesto~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor.
I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion.
Oh, and self-irony.All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Short summary: I do it because I love you all and want you to excel.
The Venue
Set in a deeply industrial part of the city, this craft beer pub called FRAKCIA didn’t scream “burlesque”, but it did aid with the rock’n’roll.
People were encouraged to come in full fabulous costumes, but most of the crowd had to sit on the floor. But again, the spirit was fun and no one came over-dressed, so the party vibes were uninterrupted.
Rocky Zombie’s hosting was lovely - she made everyone feel at home. Friendly, funny, fierce! She has a beautiful talent of balancing self-irony and confidence that makes her instantly likeable as a host.
Jeva Noir dancing to Би-2 is a combination I didn’t know I needed. Would be fantastic to see some emotion in the performance - I couldn’t tell if her seemingly detached coldness was a choice or a given. It felt like she was going through the motions, ticking checkboxes in her head with every move…You marvel at the beauty of her costumes, at the word “MUSE” splashed against her in sequins, but her attitude might seem quite arrogant. awaiting in anticipation for the moment she truly busks in the sunshine of her stunning talent.
Okani Mills! Move over, Gia Genevieve! Classic bombshell, sultry, playful - but perhaps a different kind of stocking would be more alluring. This act definitely has a lot of growing space - the world of Bond holds many treasures…
Victoria Semmybird, the lyrical heroine with Gershwin at her aid. She looked like a fairy, even though we could tell that there was a bit of struggle with the heels. The iridescent costume was the most memorable part of the act.
Хатуль , a Sugar Factory gradute, as the Little Mermaid. This act tells a tale of a tail - and the audience lived for it. Curious, playful, refreshing! The use of the net as a prop is gloriously inventive, and the twerking added a dash of pepper to the mix.
Mary Shokoladova, Slytherin queen, mesmerising sense of rhythm. She entranced the audience with precise movement - and her stage presence is delicious.
The precious Lana Summerwine, who caught my heart at the Russian Burlesque Festival with her gentle gypsy act (aka tambourine queen). What makes this act so beautiful? Perfect harmony. The second she appears on stage, the room is transformed - we feel her freedom, her stubbornness, her character - and each movement tells a story. That’s raw talent right there.
Sabina Moon, Snow Queen turned Space Spy! Why not? Fantastic audience connection, pure fun, the lights are brilliant - especially the rhythmically perfect moment of them turning on. Entertaining!
Stacey Brume (Parker?) Be still, my heart! What a brilliant idea! Lily pads, an arrow, charming hues of green and blue…a Frog Princess!
Not quite sure the second chance was really needed, as the first time was not that bad at all - but takes guts to start over, and this girl clearly has them guts, darling!
Oh my, Miss Tea! Gosling, satanism and humour? Brava! Perhaps the most entertaining act of the evening - great story, hilarious approach, delightful costume. I wish there was a tad bit more eye contact and she didn’t hurry quite so much, but surely that’ll come in time. Shame about the technical difficulty at the end, but it did not take away from her marvellous act!
Victoria Semmybird, Minnie the Moocher! The audience were kept guessing if she was truly tipsy - there was one particularly convincing misstep in the audience that even made a few people gasp. Tiny bottles in the bosom are a classic that never fails to entertain. Semmybird knows how to entertain - and you can feel how much she loves being on stage…and that feeling is contagious!
Саша Редкая - Amen, rock’n’roll! This twerking witch set the house on fire - even though the number itself was quite basic and at times hurried, the energy was undeniably fierce. I wonder why she needed the socks though…and boy, she was really angry at that broom!
Rockie Zombie, rock’n’roll mama! Showed ‘em how it’s done with her classic Cowgirl act. A last dash of fire for the grand finale, the ultimate essence of the mood of the night - bold, bright, rockin’, confident.
The Verdict
Overall, we only had about 2 acts that could be called pure rock’n’roll. Even Muse’s “Newborn” (hello, Frog Princess) was cut right before the most driven part started.
Even if occasionally some acts came close to the vulgar side of things, they were still very entertaining, vivacious and passionate!
It was pure fun - and isn’t that really all that matters, darling?
Extremely excited to see so much fresh talent emerging on the scene.
The most precious thing about the whole evening was the camaraderie. From Jeva running on stage to help Stacey with a stuck corset to Tamasinushka and Sahara in the audience, this is exactly what the world of Burlesque needs. There is never any need to be toxic, am I right, darling?
Anja Pavlova is back to host, perform and celebrate her birthday in the festive edition of the show of her dreams, Ladies of Burlesque!
Did the show weave a winter spell or left us alone under the mistletoe?
Read on, darling!
Before we dive into the glitter,
Here’s the most important point of everything I do -
~The Eternal Manifesto~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Short summary: I do it because I love you all and want you to excel.
Also, allow me to share a wonderful review by Party Parrot!
https://lazy-boogie.livejournal.com/3435.html
Thank you ever so for the wink and the nod - what a pleasant surprise! Thrilled that your inspiration lead to write such a brilliant summary of the night. Perhaps my tiny endeavours might create a movement of sharp-eyed, truly grateful audience members! After all, we can’t all be blocked, right? (read on, darling...)
The Venue
The place of action was Cеребряный Век (Silver Age) restaurant, a classic among burlesque events (it even hosted the Moscow Burlesque Festival). It is indeed pure glamour, opulence dripping off every detail! I mean, look at the pool room!
Just look at the pool room!
The second you entered, the atmosphere enveloped you with it’s gilded velvet glory. Of course, there were columns (this is Moscow after all, it’s near impossible to find a venue without columns), but thanks to the high stage and spacious room everyone had a pretty good view. I do wonder if the dressing room was as luxurious as the rest of the place!
If only my accolades extended to the food, but alas! We are spoiled rotten by Michel, and the tiny portions, uninspired recipes and stale presentation were not worthy of the non-negotiable deposit (which was almost as expensive as the tickets!). But we did not come to eat, oh no, darling - we came for a feast, but one for the eyes!
The Performances
Darling, it was a beautiful night. It was a dazzling, glittering, bejewelled, vajazzled (not really) night. My heart melted - and not just because Pavlova was back, but because it was legitimately a beautiful - beautiful show.
The Chorus Line Jazz Dancers were stunning! Their number was so gloriously joyous, for the first time they legitimately looked like they were having fun. Every beat was greeted with a tap, clap or other inspired move, and the joy was infectious! They looked stunning, danced wonderfully well and energised the whole room.
Marie Weinberg appeared not once, not twice, but four times - and looked stunning every single time. Every single song sounded exactly the same, but that’s her strength - she sounds exactly like a 1930′s record. She is a perfect pin-up model, her photos are always flawless. She does not currently have an arsenal of stage choices (perhaps she doesn’t need it), but she did find her niche and she is gently charming in it.
We got to see the famous blue showgirl ensemble of Jeva Noir! She presented a classic number - no gimmicks, no emotions, just good ol’ undressing. What strikes me every time I see her is how majestically beautiful she is - she has a unique type of beauty, like an actual Titaness, but doesn’t use it in her acts at all. We are always stunned by her looks, but never by the performance - perhaps because there is no harmony between them. A hawk does not excel when posing as a sparrow.
However, the general public got to see a new side of her talent - Jeva is a marvellous seamstress, and she brought her first collection for everyone to view and purchase! Every single lady left that room with a desire to own the velvety, feathery, dreamy ensembles made by Lady Noir.
Tamasinushka looked utterly stunning - as usual. And her act was exactly how her acts are every single time - luxuriously languid, entrancingly self-focused, glittering and poised. Was it the most exciting or memorable act of the night? No, but it was gorgeous. When her magic works, she truly does change the flow of time in the room. Quite excited to see her emerge in 2020 with new energy and new renditions of beloved acts.
Ellisha Fox graced the stage in his blue and white ensemble, and was an absolute treasure. He is an astonishing dancer, his charisma and stage presence are indeed unique. Looking forward to the moment when he finds even more freedom on stage and lets himself dissolve in the moment - it does sometimes feel like he’s participating in a dance competition, focusing hard on the moves and slightly loses the connection with the audience...but being a boylesque performer, all eyes will be on him regardless. I always sing the song of the benefits of self-irony!...But I am nitpicking, darling - because I can see him becoming an international superstar and want him to excel.
Katerina Sahara brought her Desert Sun and Dragon acts (not quite the most Christmassy/wintery choices, but we didn’t really mind). It is impossible to look away when she’s on stage, but I must say that this particular combination of acts doesn’t really work - they are incredibly similar (if not equal) in tempo and atmosphere, so putting them together within one show doesn’t make either one shine particularly bright. Again, both are flawlessly gorgeous, it’s not a critique on the acts themselves - more on the directorial decisions of the show. Hope she does not overwork her wondrous self, for she seems to have fully joined the ranks of Bezhetskaya’s belles.
Radmila Rocky Zombie - well, it’s been a while since the vivacious mistress of Haunted Cathouse graced the Moscow stage! She brought her Americana fantasy cowgirl ensemble, and it was pure fun - she enjoyed it, the audience enjoyed it, everyone had a good time. Where the act lacked polish, it made up plenty with its ebullient bounciness.
Sadly, our mullet marvel blocked me on Instagram - understandable, darling! What can be more horrible than constructive criticism and adoration? Quite flattered, never thought my humble self would get this much attention!
Konfetki looked fabulous - especially at the curtain call. Fantastic dress!
Helen! Helen the heavenly stage kitten! I swear to all the Glamour Gods, every single show that lady has a glow-up. Her Burlesque Santa outfit leaves me speechless - me, darling! Speechless! Flawless.
Blanche de Moscou brought her Sweet Kink act to the stage, and it was as beguiling as usual, but that’s not what I want to talk about. There’s a new act. The new act is phenomenal. It’s inspired by an act that her stunning mother directed in the 90′s, and it’s a whole spy-robot-Blade Runner extravaganza! Jaws dropped to the floor the second that luxurious umbrella appeared, and every new costume reveal was even more hypnotising. Her sense of rhythm is impeccable, and the way she marries complete immersion in the atmosphere of the act and her signature humour is spectacular. And the glitter gun! It was not a gun, it was a bazooka!
This was a true showstopper, and really would make more sense at the last act of the show (energetically and logistically - all that glitter!). I think this might be the most impressive act I’ve seen in this country.
Anja Pavlova, the one and only Swan Queen, oh how we’ve missed you. Lady Pavlova brought a myriad of costume changes and two acts, a classic Jazz Age one, and a premiere - Snow Maiden! Her forte truly is her emotional range. When is on that stage, she lives and breathes the music, and takes the audience on the ride with her. The way she catches every bit is ingenius, and she truly floats. Even this old heart had to wipe off a few secret tears...She is a pure delight. And she sang! And she knows exactly where her strength is, so she invited Marie to sing with her and went for acting and engaging with the audience. Her voice can not boast strength, but the sweetness, tenderness and sincerity made it soar.
If I were to make one comment, it would be about the hosting. Each act completely mesmerised and transported us into a magical land of pure glamour...and the hosting was more Earth-bound. Can’t claim that it’s a negative, but when I noticed it, it did create a slight imbalance.
We want to dive deep into the magic, uninterrupted, darling!
Dearest reader, do yourself a favour and have a look at these superb photos. Dive into the atmosphere, honey! No words of mine will truly convey the joy of the evening.
The Verdict
The show truly was a showcase of ladies - and how different they can be.
It was utterly delightful and stunningly beautiful.
Ladies of Burlesque remains the most elegant and polished burlesque show in Moscow - at least when Pavlova is around to keep an eye on things.
Bar Burlesque is taking place on January 10th, you can secure your sweet spot here.
The first ever Russian Burlesque Festival, created by The Sugar Factory ladies. Did the Firebird melt this connoisseurs seemingly icy heart?...
Always and forever,
~The Eternal Disclaimer~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
This November the Burlesque community was blessed with a supernova - a new burlesque festival, a stepping stone for anyone who dares to enter the cruel and captivating world of deshabille. In the beginning there was a little worry that it’ll just be a local party for the many students of the Sugar Factory School - but this scenario did not come true.
Ivan Par Nass - not an ideal space (visibility, as usual), but not the worst we’ve seen - and do perfect Burlesque places even exist in Moscow? A hookah bar with a low stage and a decent technical set-up is certainly a good find (even if those unfortunate souls with table seats were better off standing). The damned columns...
Beautiful lights, good sound! Even the Warcraft music weaved a spell. (Perhaps a nod to Sahara’s streaming?)
I must say, today you are not getting a full review. I’ll tell you why.
It was such a celebration of togetherness, glamour and charm. You entered the space and felt the atmosphere immediately - warm as the glow of the Firebirds feathers. It smelled fantastic, everything looked beautiful, it truly felt like a spa for the soul that longs for glamour. And that is something I have not felt for a long time, darling.
Of course there were imperfections, naturally! A few amateur notes, but it is a necessary stage in any blossoming career. Without them this world would be an unbearable bore. But I do not even wish to dwell upon them, for I am still busking in the vibe of the evening.
Also, it’s so hard to do burlesque. It is a cruel and beautiful art, demanding many a sacrifice. And to have a first time as fierce and elevated as this...Ladies, I bow to all of you!
On a very special note - something that made my heart exquisitely happy was the presence of Lyalya Bezhetskaya. The creator of the Moscow Burlesque Festival, a legend, a trailblazer, a marvel!
That’s the kind of gesture that makes my aged gentle heart go a-flutter.
However, a few notes
(after all, this is what you’re here for, isn’t it, darling?):
Tamasina is a lady of many strengths and talents, and I marvel at her sorcery and strength when creating this event - but unfortunately, hosting is not where she shines.
Can’t believe there isn’t one artistic singer in the Burlesque clique.
That group number...so much love went into it, it’s instantly evident. Yes, the body suits were incredibly yellow, but the aesthetic direction distracted me from them.
A special note of adoration to the heavenly Helen, who took care of every single performer. Her resilience and charm enchant me every time. Flawless professional!
You got the dancing and undressing ladies.
The next step is theatre, philosophy, ideas.
Burlesque can never be about undressing!
I send a special rose to the porcelain queen of tambourine. Her gorgeous folk act had a delicate approach that is rarely seen on the Moscow stage. And truly, it’s not every day you see a tambourine in a Burlesque show!
Semmybird is gorgeously vivacious! Her attitude and figure are a treat.
My favorites - Ellisha, Kristabel, Sahara, Natali Pashkoff - were divine. Divine!
Verdict
Overall, a delightfully varied selection of acts - different moods, different stories, different genres. Fantastic work of the judging committee! It’s a hard job to do, and I do think it was a job well done.
Next year get a director (there must be some lurking around the community), get a host and build this empire of beauty.
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Imagine Bar Burlesque with a theme.
A Pink theme.
Pink cocktails!
Pink dress code!
Discounts for those in the pink dress code for the pink cocktails.
A Ladies of Burlesque show hosted by a lady.
A feisty singer with attitude and stage presence.
Ellisha and Blanche with their gorgeous acts (The Arabian Nights/Genie/My Little Pony extravaganza and the Pink number, of course).
And a risqué newcomer, political, perhaps, but still in the theme.
Wouldn’t that be spectacular?
La dolce vita, darling!
But alas, that’s not quite what we had on November 11th! With the exception of the afore mentioned Ellisha and Blanche, nothing filled one’s soul with joy.
The venue was not prepared for the event - a lot of alcohol as not been restocked and thus Bar Burlesque attendees had to go with their third or forth options - and those were seriously watered down. Shame on you, Guru bar!
The sound lad stayed true to the sad tradition of these shows and was absolutely clueless. Cues? Volume? Hopeless. Whatever magic accumulated on that pitiful stage, his attitude dampened it significantly. Too quiet for the acts, too loud for when the audience can talk? And the choice of music was questionable. Not quite old enough to be hip, just semi-annoying pop tracks.
Since when is a flowery bathing robe worthy of being on stage in a non-ironic way? I was shooketh to the core, honey. Now please know that flowery robes can be very different - but this particular one did not evoke a feeling of elegance or class, not even a little bit! The hosting took a traditional route for BB - the route of “meh”. Bland, lacking charisma & stage presence, and this time with the added bonus of mediocre pronunciation. Basic things, really! It is a shame. I’m sure Konfetki can be wonderful. I just wonder what that might be and when we will see it.
Marie Weinberg. Comme d’habitude, but this time with Jessica Rabbit. How can a girl with such encyclopaedic knowledge of all things pin-up and burlesque take one of the sassiest, most sensual and attitude-driven songs in the world and make it so bland? Vocally speaking, it’s not the most difficult of concoctions, leaving plenty of space for acting, flirting, playfully dismissing and all-round charming. Did that happen? Well, attempts...You know who sweet Marie reminds me of? Gothy Kendoll. Exact same audience participation attempts. Darling Marie sounded like a 1930′s cartoon, repeating the exact same little mannerism endlessly. It was cute the first time, and hearing it once was more than enough! Yes, darling, you have a beautiful tatooed leg and another bathing robe dress. The moves vocabulary should be expanded for the best of everyone.
Elegance never equals blandness.
Ellisha - I know you expect constructive criticism, but darling, I am sorry, it was too good! His strength really lies in the marriage of the outlandish, phantasmagoric, glamorous to the point of daftness and extreme self-irony. The Genie number is a prime example of absolute glittering genius. Bravo! The Poodle act was as good as it’s always been. Still, the music doesn’t fit the act! But he does perform it wonderfully. His suave moves and impeccable body certainly took every straight guy in the audience on an unexpected journey!
Blanche! My goodness, how she sparkles. Impeccable! I particularly adore her Pink number for the very first part - the deep, tragic melancholy of the song and her infectious smile and flirty waves really add a layer of such depth. Burlesque often comes as a powerful weapon of turning trauma into art, and the bubbly finale of this act never ceases to make me optimistic about life and Russian burlesque.
Now I realise there is a big lack of neoburlesque numbers in Moscow. So in comes Haunted Cathouse’s own Ms Stacey Parker (Spider-Man fan, right?) with her bluesy Toxic Love number in which she...fornicates with planet Earth?...in a...dominatrixy, strippy way? I do love how honest her Instagram is about the struggles of being a burlesque performer, and I love her stage presence. When she’s on that stage, there’s a strong energy of ‘be here now’. She wants the attention and she takes it. The act itself, however, doesn’t quite do her justice. The philosophy of it isn’t quite clear, and it seemed somewhat sloppy. At times it left the boundaries of Burlesque - which, of course, is perfectly acceptable in Neoburlesque. It seemed to me that the general vibe after the performance was ‘entertained but mostly confused’. Which is definitely not the worst! Perhaps it would’ve worked better if it was set earlier in the programme. I look forward to seeing Ms Parker again.
The afterparty looked like a promo for Kinky Party. Sin House edition.
VERDICT
Bar Burlesque could be a lot of fun under strict and precise artistic direction.
But right now it’s a bit of an uneven mess, darling.
Did Moscow’s most elegant burlesque show sizzle or sparkle in its first Halloween edition?
Follow me, and I shall tell you…
Now and forever,
~The Eternal Disclaimer~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Falling into the familiar arms of Cafe Michel, Ladies of Burlesque is back with a Halloween twist - still sans Pavlova, regrettably.
Before we go any further, dearest reader, allow me to ask you a question:
What is Halloween?
That’s a thought that every Halloween event organiser should start with when planning such an experience. Is it a mystical Samhain ritual? A fun-filled costume party? A celebration of all things spooky?
Which route are you taking - the solemn occult? Silliness & ease? Pop culture parody? Classic horror? Proper nightmare?
As evident from the non-existent amalgamating style, this conversation never happened at the production meeting. Or if it did, it simply didn’t show.
Having already reviewed Michel, I saw nothing new. No improvements - but no worsening, either. What’s worse than worsening, though, is the lack of atmosphere. It was not created with decor, music or anything else.
The crowd was not really dressed for the occasion - perhaps because the occasion was never properly described and explained. The rules of the game were not set.
Pity. Could’ve been tremendous. The line-up is quite a thrill, darling.
This time we had two exciting guests from Saint Petersburg!
Thank you, Haunted Cathouse, for sending us something truly thrilling!
Natali Pashkof, the self-proclaimed enfant terrible of Russian Burlesque fully lived up to the title. Her Saw number was a dream - style-wise, impeccable. This is what I call a Halloween act! Flawless costume. The licking of the saw - rousingly revolting. The Widow act wasn’t as stunning as Saw, but still of decent quality. Satisfying eye contact with the audience. I wish we could’ve seen her “The Ring” act as well.
And the mystifying Vurtica! Living our Snow White Evil Queen fantasy, darling! Perhaps the most layered and strategic costume of the night. And the blood-soaked heart-shaped sponge is sheer, pure genius. The Earthy Witch was equally tempting - fantastic audience participation, magnificent costume, so well thought through. Dare I say, a sexy cauldron?…Very smart juxtaposition of the heaviness of the music and the air of the movements. I’ll be keeping an eye on this one!
Shall we move on to our familiar Moscow/Novosibirsk (ruby red) stars?
The night opened with Marie Weinberg, and I must say, improvement is evident. She is gaining the confidence that ignites her charm. And I can forgive the (again) ill-fitting dress and meowing of the opening act - because her second entrance was a dream. Transforming from a dark vampire into an angelic temptress, she hid behind a boa of intriguing proportions - to reveal stunning diamanté details that truly showed off her hypnotising tattoos. And her hairdo is impeccable.
Still, can’t say that the singing is of a level that I find entertaining or enjoyable, but perhaps in time all will come.
Allow me to summon my witchy powers and properly curse the DJ. He did not fail to disappoint with lost cues, lack of volume awareness and overall buffoonery. Whoever hired him should rethink their choices. Or, if it was a last-minute arrangement, it goes without saying that it should never be so. If the organisers do not understand how an idiotically wrong cue can mess up the mood and the act, why are they in a position of power?
A very similar situation happened at their shows several times before.
Ladies! Invest in a smart, sensitive, intuitive - or at least, attentive - sound gentleman. It’ll change your lives.
So a few days ago, we, the public, were offered an explanation of the difference between Bar Burlesque and the big dinner shows (God bless social media). One of the points was that it’s a taster session - to see if you might enjoy the big show.
So in theory, people who came to see the latest Bar Burlesque might’ve been in the audience for this show. That means that they saw Tamasinushka’s poster-gracing “Queen of the Forest” (we all know it’s Little Red Riding Hood, but alright) twice.
We also saw The Moon…that was on the same stage last time.
I’m afraid to say the energy was the same - lacking. Sometimes the moves were so painfully slow, you couldn’t help but wonder if it’s a tactic to make the acts longer and attempt to hide the missing intricacy of the costumes. Tamasinushka is a graceful, mesmerising eyeful, and the pearl costume was precious - but still, somewhat lacklustre in comparison to some of the other acts. Perhaps preparations for the Russian Burlesque Festival are getting the best of her.
What do you expect me to say about Katerina Sahara? Consistently flawless. She brought her winged friends with her - the exotic twerking emerald bird and the dazzling dragon. Both were impeccable. What else is there to say? True professionalism. I was especially thrilled by all the bird of paradise improvising - the lady who’s bosom was caressed seemed to be quite exhilarated by the experience. The Sugar Factory/ Twerk Bakery star kept the crowd on their toes as they craved every next move.
One of her main talents is measure. Balance. The strategy of her undressing is always faultlessly thought through.
Blanche de Moscu, you stunner. Bringing the Fire Priestess and The Admiral, she shined like she tends to do - with glorious abandon. The Fire costume got a gentle upgrade, and The Admiral stunned and entertained. To my taste, it is one of the best burlesque acts in Russia. A flawless mix of sexuality and sensuality, masculine and feminine, humour and drop-dead army seriousness. And the costume, my god, the costume!…Nostalgic in the best possible way. Nostalgic in the most modern way. She hypnotised and entertained, seduced and enthralled. A wonder of a performer!
And that glitter trick - so small, yet so powerful.
Ellisha Fox brought the Poodle act that we saw at the Real Variety Show a few months back. Even though I understand and admire the sentiment behind the act, I stand my ground - the music doesn’t fit the mood of the piece at all, and it’s not quite theatre, not quite burlesque, and remains one of most undercooked acts of our superstar.
However, Ellisha’s undercooked is still a knockout. What a gem.
The Phoenix was an exact repetition of what we saw at the last LoB show. Still more focused on the movements than anything else.
Side note - wondering why Ellisha’s appearance at Alice Shpiller’s Halloween extravaganza was so abruptly cancelled. I hope it had nothing to do with inner-burly webs and whispers, for that just ruins the party for everyone, doesn’t it, darling? Boylesque should be seen and celebrated as much as possible, and putting a seal on Ellisha as if he’s a branded asset will do no good - not for the culture in general nor the reputation of the dominating company.
Helen the Stage Bunny - yes, bunny this time! - looked absolutely gorgeous. That girl is a treasure - she’s doing a job that requires maximum attention and concentration with elegance, ease and poise, despite being the bait for every single tasteless hostess joke.
Vanilla Absolut - oh how I love a drag queen! The name is stunning, and so is the gal. She blessed us with a sensational atheist/satanist lipsync to “Personal Jesus” by Marilyn Manson (of course). Strutting her stuff in shockingly high heels, she expertly mingled with the crowd, jumped, bended in all directions and made the space her own.
The same lucky lady who got touched by Sahara got to lick the Bible! Some girls have all the luck…
Tanya Konfetki. Must I comment?
For the sake of all I believe in, yes.
She looked beautiful. So refreshing to see her well-dressed, and the head-piece was beguiling.
Still, there was no flow to her hosting.
The ending was abrupt, the humour lacked elegance, and overall it was quite…dull. At times she seemed lost before the crowd, and endless self-comparisons to Pavlova didn’t do anything for her. It’s easy to see how much she wants to be the hostess (which is probably the domineering reason why she’s on that stage), but the skills, the charm and the ease are just not there. Perhaps it will come in time. Perhaps not.
The virtual appearance of Anja Pavlova was an unexpected treat.
VERDICT
Still the most poised burlesque show in Moscow (and most likely in Russia), but then again, there’s hardly any competition.
Evolution is a process that occurs naturally, and I hope that the Ladies will steer in a glorious direction. They have everything for it.
Is St Petersburg the Russian capital of NeoBurlesque?
Moscow is yet to learn how to do justice to the harrowing beauty of Halloween.
~~~
The next Bar Burlesque is on the 15th of November - nearly sold-out.
Next big dinner show is December 7-8th.
Real Variety Show - Vampires on the Beach “Helloween” special
My darling readers, as I hope you know, the sole purpose of this little nook of glamour in the world of Russian burlesque is to be a loving guide with a watchful eye.
To analyse with adoring attention, and to inspire the artists to rise to their glorious full potential.
No one is endorsing or supporting me - apart from my own sense of duty. I invest my own time and money into attending the events and writing the reviews.
Why?
Because I love it.
Because I love the art form.
Because I love you, the creators and performers.
Because I believe in the future of Russian burlesque.
I understand that my critiques might not be for everyone - naturally! They’re not a 100 dollar bill, darling. But to ever accuse me of malice would be short-sighted…and a sign of poor attention.
I do not expect to make an impact, but I hope to be of service.
As proven by the magnanimous attention of some of the stars, my opinions have a certain weight, meaning and significance. They are a result of experience, taste and knowledge. A trained eye that has seen many a show around the world.
And so, will all that in mind,
I must say that this shall be the last “Real Variety Show” that I review.
Simply because the creators feel quite comfortable with the level it’s at now.
This is a level that I see no point in reviewing.
To my taste, their actions are counterproductive in terms of the evolution and growth of Russian Burlesque.
They found their niche, they are quite happy in it, no interest whatsoever in professional evolution of any kind - so be it! It’s their absolute right.
You can open my previous review of Real Variety Show and simply copy and paste with a few small additions:
Once and for all - it’s Halloween. Halloween.
Helloween are a German power metal band, and this event had nothing to do with them.
Can’t even add a poster, because the organisers presented us with such a vast variety of options, it’s easy to get lost in them! Makes one question if hyperactivity is the key to a productive Instagram…
Middle school amateur concert vibes. Local talent show, or auditions of mediocre importance.
The questionable/vulgar behaviour of the public was directly inspired by the atmosphere.
If you put the word “vampire” into the name, the appearance of vampires can not be the plot twist.
Technical issues galore. While none of us are every fully protected from such mishaps, here they seemed like the result of miscommunication.
So much talent, so much potential. Why must it be so?
No precision whatsoever - in anything. Specifically no directorial precision.
No stylistic unity, no directing at all, actually. Not professional in any way.
Decent costumes, but still a mish-mash. No stylistic unity.
The fish costume was great though.
Thank the stars that Max’s jokes landed. He was a highlight.
Xana Martin - gorgeous dance, gorgeous look. No connection to Halloween whatsoever. Sea devil? Darling. An aqua lycra does not equal sea devil.
Kitty Orlova - copy and paste. Every single thing.
KittenTits - true comedic genius, I await every performance with baited breath…This time with merely a cute song. Not badly sung, but lacklustre. Certainly not her finest moment, although in comparison with every other act it was a success.
The belly/sword dance that had no connection to the story whatsoever, was not announced in any way, no characters, no plot line and no precision whatsoever. Pardonne moi, pourquois?
The clownesse. Lyalya Bezhetskaya, with her charm and talent, starts off as a classic clown that does everything to entertain the audience. But nothing works…and so she begins to undress. What exactly is the thought behind this number? All talents are futile, the public only cares about nudity?
Well, this crowd - a crowd supported (and partly created) by RVS certainly acted as if they’ve never seen a bare naked lady before.
Umbrella number…thank you. My life has been lacking random trampling in one place around an umbrella.
Very curious to see Janina Barabash at he Russian Burlesque Festival. Will she rise to the occasion? Or will we see the same, ahem…dancing technique?
Overall - beautiful faces, promising talent, great bodies.
No mystery, no intrigue, no class, no Halloween, no atmosphere.
Finally! I made my way over to Bar Burlesque, the more relaxed (and slightly more raunchy) cousin of the Ladies.
The tagline is “dancing, contests, lots of wine!”, which immediately paints a picture of a glitzy, light and fun evening of easily-digestible glamour.
So was it femme-fuelled fun or measly mediocre meh?
Read on, darling…
The Venue
Guru bar - an eclectic loft in central Moscow. Comfy sofas. Friendly bartenders.
It’s perfect.
For DJ parties.
For dancing.
For dancing on the counters (more on that later).
But for watching a show on stage? No.
Stating the obvious is such a frightening bore. For a show, visibility is key. If half the audience can’t see the stage, what is the point?
The Host of promised fun, Tanya Konfetki, entered the stage only to the sound of “Jesus Christ Superstar”. This was repeated consistently.
She religiously repeated the jokes of Anja Pavlova. They are good jokes, that is a fact! Especially with the right delivery.
She hosted contests that were meant to…make Burlesque more…to make the audience try…I’m sorry, what were the contests for?
Also, I always were of the opinion that stage presence is something vital for person who has the noble duty of hosting an event.
The word that I heard whispered in the audience was “tamada”.
My gorgeous reader, I encourage you immediately contact a Russian friend (or make one right this instant!) and question them about the exact nuances of the word.
Oh, how we miss you, Swan Queen.
Is this really the best host The Ladies could get?
The Performers
No Halloween show can go on without Tamasinushka’s Little Red Riding Hood. The hunky seductress seemed unusually tense and absent, almost distracted. Surprisingly, there was no energy in her most famous act. Unfortunately, the sparks from her red straps did not light up the performance.It almost seemed as if she didn’t want to be there.
Perhaps this should not have been the opening number. It seemed to leave more confusion than excitement.
Except, of course, for Tamasina’s students, who cheered regardless of what was happening on stage.
But that’s what loyal students do, isn’t it?
We’ve also seen the resurrection of The Jester - or The Fool?
There was more energy, more contact with the hungry audience - I wonder if it was some liquid courage or more glitter on her visage?
I must admit that I am spoiled for The Jester. After the intricate masterpiece of Xana, this looked, I’m sad to say, quite bland. Yes, even with the twirling and the hat. What is the thought, the point, the magic?
Blanche enticed us with a slightly updated teacher/secretary/Mary Poppins leather fantasy, and she was pure class. Her humour was beautifully enjoyable, the way she caught the music cues was exciting, and overall the energy was truly fun! The lady teased! The lady played! The lady lived on stage!
And a special thank you for doing your act on the elevated part of the stage, where we could actually see you.
A true professional!
Jeva Noir. I do not know if that hair was a wig or not - I do not care, it looked spectacular. Could not take my eyes off the hair - and her. She really does have a unique kind of beauty - cold, titan-like, epically graceful.
To my great sadness, her Poison Ivy is still lacklustre - and not because of the costume (which bejewelled thoroughly, as if all the beads of sweat have turned into glitter drops), but because of the lack of atmosphere. Why must the lady be so stern? Poison Ivy is one of the most fun characters ever created! She’s campy and seductive in the most comic-book way. I’m afraid it’s simply a question of the character/artist relationship. It may as well be a unique interpretation of Ivy, but it still has to work, must be convincing.
At some point a group of SugarFactorySchool girls infiltrated the stage and started randomly undressing. It did go well with over-all scattered atmosphere of the night.
And the last bows, done with the backsides…Why is it gloriously naughty in the dinner show, and not quite so classy here?
The Verdict
This brings the question -
What is the vibe supposed to be?
What actually is this event? Who is it aimed at? I saw ravishing ladies in exquisite outfits (some dressed more creatively than the performers) and t-shirt wearing lads who looked utterly perplexed.
What kind of audience is this meant to attract? Is this a passage into Burlesque for the more casual folk? Do they need it?
Do we need to make Burlesque more accessible, more simple?
We crave the sass and beauty, the sensuality and drama, the sophistication, the humour, the class - the word “common” scares the glamour fairies away, darling.
There’s a way to do elegant-relaxed, and this just isn’t it.
There is a difference between a “lady of leisure letting her hair down” atmosphere and a high-school disco vibe. Both are glorious in their own way, but one must know what to await!
It wouldn’t be such a big thinking piece if this was any other company other than Ladies of Burlesque - the apostles of high-class elegance in Moscow. Stick to your guns, ladies!
It simply wasn’t done in that good taste that makes LoB stand out.
The tone demands precision.
PS
The highlight of the night was Sahara dancing on the bar.
That lady is a god-send.
PPS
The next Bar Burlesque event is taking place on the 15th of November.
Get your tickets here and hope for the best, darling!
First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:
~The Eternal Disclaimer~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Ah, Michel! Beautiful as you approach it, delightful as you step in, courteous waiters, excellent food!
The stage seemed a tad bit too small and a little bit too close to the audience (to my liking), and seemed quite stifling, really. However, certainly not the worst option in Moscow!
Our gorgeous swan-queen host, Anja Pavlova was on top form both nights. Her hosting excelled - the marriage of her Moscow State University philosophy faculty, English teacher experience (hello, fantasies), European lady class and Russian intelligentsia wit provide endless charm, wittiness and grace. Brava!
The chorus line was better. The routine was polished, they had fun - and so they were fun to watch. But still, ladies! Waists! Synch! It’s not that hard! A little shape goes a long way!
You, dearest darlings, already know how much I adore Ladies of Burlesque.
However, h o w e v e r, there is just one thing I can’t for the life of me understand.
The fascination with Marie Weinberg.
Is she sweet? Undoubtedly.
Is she talented? Sure.
Is she good in this show? No.
Her tone of voice is just not suited to the mood, the vibe, the occasion.
Or she simply doesn’t make it work.
She seems dead scared every time she walks on stage, she doesn’t own the audience, she doesn’t seem to enjoy herself - and the audience feels it!
Being harsh is never my intention, and I have a healthy amount of self-doubt (believe it or not, darling reader!), so I decided to ask a certain number of fellow spectators. An opinion in unison…bland.
She doesn’t feel the energy of the songs she’s singing, either. She seems to simply enjoy the sound of her own voice.
And don’t even get my started on the crumpled, non-ironed dress (girl! Get a steamer!!) and the ill-fitting gloves. Oh, Whineberg…
Blanche de Moscou. Excellent! She completely transforms on stage. The sparkle, the charm, the stories, the moves - it’s all there! This time she entertained us with her “Pink 60’s” and “Kinky” acts. Both were great, though the Kinky one still isn’t Kinky - and even inserting a fox-tail butt-plug into her belle-chose (instead of it’s derrière-destiny) at the Kinky Party didn’t help the cause.
Elisha Fox - excellent as always. Unfortunate that the video projector got in the way of his dance flow (a very low ceiling for a tall performer (especially in those heels!)).
However, his magic is inextinguishable.
Especially the “My Little Pony” addition in the end of the “Magic Lamp” number…self-irony at it’s best!
I know what you’re thinking, darling. It seems as if I write about Elisha is every review. That’s because...it is the truth! He is indeed one of the few (ahem, two) performers who are invited to almost every event. All the cliques, groups and cults want a slice of his boylesque extravaganza. Of course it’s due to the fact that he’s really, really good - but also, he’s one of a kind, and being a boylesque performer in Russia is an act of bold, glittery rebellion.
However, Elisha does get elephantine bonus points for being, indeed, the first and only of his kind in Russia. So if I were to judge our luminary on an international scale, he wouldn’t shine quite as bright, and here’s why.
The marvel lends too much focus to the technique. Burlesque is about the magic of connection - that is what the tease does, creates electricity between the performer and the audience. The tease, the joy, the desire to inspire, the will to share the story...Elisha has everything. Now he has to let it go and enjoy his time on stage. The dancing is perfect, but it doesn’t have to be. Make eye contact! Make a mistake! Breathe! Allow yourself to be alive on that stage. Because the audience wants to be alive with you.
If I could make one wish on the lamp of our dazzling genie...it would be that Tanya, aka @konfetki, would look the part. The producer of such a dazzling event deserves to look as brilliant as the show. Oh, did I say deserves? I meant should. This is in no way an attack on anyone’s freedom of expression, but there are fairly simple style rules that would amp up the full experience. It’s a question of atmosphere, of vibe, of team spirit! When the team spirit is brilliance, you dress accordingly, darling!
It’s a damn shame that Victoria Semmybird wasn’t able to come. Tales of her Dumbo act travel far and wide, and St Petersburg burlesque quite often offers a refreshing quirkiness. Moscow takes itself so seriously...perhaps we shall see a flourish of comedic acts sooner rather than later!
Tamasina Beansun was alright. Her Vaping Moon act was syrupy, sensual and full of deeply-set inner emotional drama, and her Butterfly act was syrupy... sensual...and...well, you get me.
She did expertly get rid of a naughty button - rip it off and throw it away! That’s the temperament that could make her future acts truly shine.
Her Siberian Prime inseparable, Katerina Sahara, was her usual fabulous self. Starting with her Heartbroken act, that suits any occasion with its elegant languid flow & elements of enticing percussion. But it was her second act that really made the room explode with excitement. Take a Russian jazz-pop classic, add a feisty tropical/Cuban costume, add rum, twerking and brilliant charm and you got yourself a treasure.
Masha Arzamasova, a journalist, sex blogger and all-round brilliant lady did a stand up act on night 2 - and it was excellent. Sassy, confident, hilarious - the room was buzzing long after she sat back at her table. Refreshing!
I have a feeling that the Ladies might be lending this modest little writing endeavour a pinch of their attention, as Elena the Stage Kitten had her moment to shine and it was delightful! You go, Lena!
Wish I could say the same about Jeva Noir.
I must say, it takes talent to take one of the most adored and vivid female comic book characters - POISON IVY!!, choose the deliciously malicious Uma Thurman version, make some fern fans…and make it so bland.
Girl.
Posture.
That corset does NOT fit. It’s supposed to SYNCH YOU IN.
The wig is tragic. I’m sorry, but it’s just a fact.
Actually, no. I am not sorry. The reason why I’m making these comments is because I want the quality of Russian burlesque to rise and conquer the world. Someone’s gotta tell the truth!
The choreography is awkward and doesn’t do anything. It’s just moving for the sake of moving.
You can’t take one of the most ironically sexy songs in the history of mankind and NOT make fun of it or at least ENJOY it.
Apparently there is such a thing as too much glitter ( g a s p )
Also, sticky jewels on one’s forehead stopped working since every single festival-going chick started sticking them everywhere.
Caught a glimpse of Eva out of costume - my God, how gorgeous she is! Her elegant bob haircut suits her flawlessly, she carries herself with poise…so what happens when she’s in character?
A perplexing addition to the pantheon of LoB elegance.
I have the antidote to the sadness of this last paragraph, darling reader - our paramount lady, Anja. The two acts she brought to us this time were “A Lady Loves” (the big fan one) and “You’re My Thrill” (the moon act), dedicated to her lucky Persian prince husband.
Well, let me tell you, she was our thrill.
The lady loves and oh, the lady’s loved!
What really makes her stand out is the grace, the raw emotion, the adoration of the music (we can feel it in her bones), and just how much she loves this show and burlesque.
Another thing I must mention is the costume changes. God, I love a good costume change, and Pavlova did indeed bring. it. on.
From her breathtaking golden iris Mucha Bond-girl fantasy to a vivacious green glitter tassel Christmas tree fantasy (sewn in one night with no sewing machine!), it was endlessly entertaining and captivating - much like the lady herself! Also, the new wig length worked superbly well. I daresay that a longer style suited her much better than her usual curly bobs.
“Burlesque is unapologetic”, she manifests towards the end - and god damn, the gal is right! Unapologetic in its confidence, playfulness, storytelling and celebration of being alive in those bizarre, beautiful bodies of ours!
Hoorah, ladies and gentlemen! (of burlesque and beyond)
PS
The Ladies of Burlesque Halloween show will take place on the 1st of November at the same venue, Cafe Michel.
I feel like exploring new territory, care to join me?
A new format, to be precise.
I’m gonna call this…Short’n’Sweet.
First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:
~The Eternal Disclaimer~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of Burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor.
I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion.
Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
As we’re all busy, busy bees, my darlings - and I have already pirouetted my penmanship talent in before you in quite an unapologetic way, I shall indeed keep this short’n’sweet.
Though there’s not that much sweetness in this edition…
Leelah Zharkaya & Lyalya Bezhetskaya have now ventured into the tumultuous waters of dark cabaret, creating the “Real Variety Show”.
Same team, new...concept?
Being an avid admirer of the genre, I’ve been keeping an eye on its progress in Moscow and I must say, it’s not quite as fruitful as one could hope.
The Dark Cabaret Festival did not live up to expectations - mostly because of the confusion of the producers. It seemed like only 2 out of 10 organisers actually understood what Dark Cabaret is all about.
Well, in this case it’s more like 1/10.
I keep wondering why Dark Cabaret is having such a tough time in Moscow. It would seem that we have the perfect formula for it - the layers of natural national darkness, self-irony, a plague-feast mentality…what are we lacking?
Good taste, perhaps, and the understanding of the tender, intricate nuances.
Scroll up, darling, and take a look at the poster. It does indeed convey the atmosphere quite accurately.
The venue? Tolerable.
Imagine that you walk in, make your way to the auditorium, and find yourself encountering a lady singing with a noose. Singing with a noose? Kitty Orlova is uber-talented, and the noose did no one any harm (I hope), but somehow it just fell flat.
What was the intention? This is left unclear.
The story. The Narrator is the son of a legendary circus performer who mysteriously disappeared
(you’ll never guess who plays her)
(hint - it’s the director).
He takes us down memory lane, showing the quirks, kinks and kindness of each new character (usually Uncle Something or Aunt Someone).
Why not, darling, why the hell not.
This time round The Narrator was actually tolerable. As if he found a muscle of sincerity and tenderness that worked with the (extremely poorly written) story. In fact, he had moments of sheer brilliance when ad-libbing with the audience. He is no doubt a talented fellow, perhaps he just needs to find his director.
It must be said - Leelah’s creativity is ingenious at times. Some of her acts have incredible and well-executed ideas, a coldness that makes German divas of the 30’s envious and true emotion to captivate the audience. But there is something deeply off-putting about 80% of her stage presence, a nerve that adds a tinge demanding adoration…and not in an exciting way. At times there’s something porcelain about her, and at other times - something so self-absorbed, you’re not sure why you were invited.
Bezhetskaya, on the other hand, is warm. She adores (most of) her audience and the audience responds. Some of her ideas are fantastic, and you can see her beautiful attention to details, humour, playfulness, enjoyment of her own body and craft…but then what leaves a sour taste? Somehow the atmosphere just doesn’t come together. It sometimes feels as if she pretends to be something she is not - but what is this object of pretence?
Whoever put that wig and costume on Din-Din is either phenomenally cruel or innocently blind. But if they are blind, all of the people around them, who can in fact see, are phenomenally cruel. Give the girl a break!
Xana. Brilliance. Her Harlequin act is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Marrying acrobatics, heartfelt narrations and a bombacious attitude makes her an absolute feast for the eyes, mind and senses.
Now, I am quite biased about the poet Zkhous. I must admit I love him fondly, since the Dark Cabaret festivals! As always, he was he dear neurotic self and the poetry was as crude as it was lovely.
Orlova, Chess Queen, Lipsync?! What?! On a stage as tiny as this?! With her gorgeous voice?
Also, this act always confuses much, There’s so much going on, she always gets lost in the multitude of actions and doesn’t actually breathe in the story.
Janina Barabash…the voice gimmick was good.
That’s all.
That Silent Movie act…I don’t even know what it was. She’s surrounded by experienced mentors…couldn’t anyone ask her what the hell she was doing? Amoebing around with a velvet ribbon…okay.
Elisha the poodle! Excellent. As always. A story about purpose told through the sex appeal of a Furry. Elisha certainly found his niche and excels at it.
Marilyn Monroe’s “Daddy”. A song CREATED for an enticing act.
Apologies, my vocabulary completely abandons me here. This was unapologetically dreadful. I won’t even bore myself with analysing it. Amateur at its worst.
Madame Irenushkin as the trench-coated shooter…triumph of vulgarity. Shooting at the audience is mauvais-ton in any professional theatre, but if only that was the only sin…One word - sloppy.
Oh, how the audience perked up at the magical word Шашлыки (barbecue)!
KittenTits McGee! Shaving act! Sheer GENIUS. That girl is a marvel and I’ll never tire repeating it. The music, the rhythm, the concept, the layered references - FLAWLESS.
If I’m being nit-picky, the only thing I’d add is playing the pain of epilation more precisely - no one can escape the 4-second agony when that wax comes off.
Agneta Lincheskvaya, a rare guest in Moscow, made an appearance as Aunt Blanche with her “Streetcar named Desire” act. She is unapologetically her own brand and it works - her mix of confidence and fragility, her unique features, her dance skills and her gorgeous depth made the performance stand out. Enticing.
Long Live Aristocratic Erotism!
“Oh, I know! Let’s take the backing track of Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” and write a whole new song about SHOES!”
Well…hm.
Beautiful neon concept by Lyalya. Gorgeous self-irony.
But Kitty and Lyalya had ZERO chemistry. Kitty was just…standing there, by the side, kind of out of the lights, singing a song with very mediocre lyrics, seemingly uncomfortable.
Why must it be so?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - endlessly re-playing the most banal gender stereotypes is exhausting. Re-affirming society of it’s deepest, roughest shortcomings (especially in Russia), is part of reason why society is in a state it’s in.
The final thought was poetic - “you must treasure hearts”. If only someone for a second thought of taking care of our audience hearts…
And, as always, the bow and the dreaded kiss.
Ladies, no one enjoys it apart from a few troubled, greasy men in the audience and you (which I doubt). A hint of a chance of a kiss would be more in tune with the nature of Burlesque, Dark Cabaret and the gorgeous culture of variety show.
Subtlety.
Teasing…
But I guess it’s all a matter of taste, isn’t it?
PS
The next instalment of this groups creativity is called “Vampires on the beach” and is announced as “the best HElloween in town”.
I’m afraid the only word that comes to mind is...yikes.
Though the artwork is excellent.
PPS
Curious how this “short’n’sweet” idea actually turned into a decent sized text. Apologies! My muse could not be tamed, darling!
The time has come for the second instalment of Cabaret Show Cinématrographié!
Did it sizzle or shine?
Read on…
The vivacious Alice Shpiller and her beguiling partner-in-crime Katrin Gajndr brought their cinematographic creation back to it’s namesake location - Cinematographie karaoke.
The theme was, fittingly, ”movies”. The audience were encouraged to dress up as their favourite movie characters, but alas, the public is yet to indulge in the wonders of theme dressing.
The evening began with Alice Shpiller appearing as a modern version of the Little Mermaid - lip-syncing to "Part of Your World”, roaming from table to table & live streaming the whole thing. Her costume was just the right amount of camp (more camp than most Met Gala attendees, GOOD MORNING KARLIE KLOSS), and the performance was a sweet little warmup - perfectly in the style of the show, preparing us for what is to come - genuine beauty with a side of charming goofiness .
All was great! Apart from the wig.
To be honest, the wig made me quite sad.
Actually, to be perfectly frank, that wig was actively upsetting, darling.
It would be a service to mankind if it were thrown away and allowed to succumb to oblivion.
Shpillers’ hosting was definitely more coherent than last time - the jokes landed, the charm was undeniable and she felt more confident and in control. It was truly entertaining - I was equally excited by the acts and the hosting, and it’s a marvellous feeling!
It wasn’t long until we saw the first burlesque performance of the night - Katrin Gajndrs’ “Woman in Red”, inspired by the 1984 film. Dearest reader, I was smitten. The way she moved, the way she looked at the audience, the drive, the passion, the grace, the fun she had - she cast a powerful spell, not a soul went untouched by her classy, sassy performance. One of the best acts I’ve ever seen in Russia. Yes, you’ve read that right. Flawless mix of irony, indulgence & power in her attitude. The moves were sensually precise, she knew what she was doing and oh lordy was she enjoying it! Brava!
However, even her radiance couldn’t outshine the terror that was the stage lights (if they even deserve such a name). Horrible is a word that covers the situation pretty extensively. On a few particularly painful occasions I imagined that the lights from the audiences phones would do a better job than the chaotic colourful mess that this establishment calls “lights”.
However, even they didn’t take away from the excellence of the beginning of the show. Something else did. Or should I say…someone.
Miss April. Honey. Allow me to help.
You have a delicious chance to learn from the best (I mean Gajndr, not myself, you cheeky little thing!).
No lip colour, flat hair, ordinary lingerie, upsetting lack of the most basic acting skills, lack of story, drive and imagination just won’t do.
Especially when you take something as legendary as Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Especially when you’re on stage straight after Katrin. Especially when you have access to the expert advise of Shpiller & Gajndr!
Dearest reader, I was infuriated.
A slender lady who happens to be a good dancer walks in looking quite mediocre, bites a pastry, takes a sip of coffee, leaves them on the front table (all this is done with no energy whatsoever), goes on stage, takes off her dress, reveals a very basic set of black underwear (not lingerie) and gets in a bed that the stage kittens have meticulously prepared for her.
What for? What is the purpose? What can you possibly add to Holly Golightly? There’s so much that could’ve been done with this number - take the fact that Holly in the book is much more risqué than Holly in the film and dance the night away with your vision of Capotes timeless heroine!
Were they really so desperate for an act they let this half-baked croissant mop around, languidly perusing the stage?
An act of cruel sympathy, blind hope and/or unnecessary cruelty.
Thank goodness we were saved by Kristabel Otem.
Good God how I love that woman.
Sin City.
Need I say more?
Kristabel Otem.
Sin City.
My little noir heart pounded with inexplicable joy.
It hit every mark, was deliciously erotic, devilishly ironic and just wonderfully done.
And then a miracle appeared.
A sublime beauty.
The Swan Tsarevna.
A costume so gorgeous, I believe my jaw did indeed hang loose in the air for a few moments.
How I wish Lisa Alisa did the costume justice.
It’s a fantastic idea - an iconic Russian fairytale heroine, a song by one the best known folk rock bands in Russia…but unfortunately the performer brought her own brand of haste, hurry & dare I say, clumsiness. Someone, please give that girl a stage presence lesson. She’s literally two steps away from truly spreading her gorgeous wings and embracing her undoubtable talent.
After an intermission full of exciting murmurs, Shpiller emerged in a new emploi - Clockwork Orange diva. It worked marvellously well - the look really suited her, the vibe was playfully ultraviolent and her acting was excellent. There was no shedding of the clothes, but it was an enthralling number.
Overall I vigorously applaud the fact that the spotlight was directed at an eclectic collection of fantastic movies. Moving away from the ordinary does an artwork good!
A new incarnation of Lisa appeared - or did it? A tribute to Sally Rand, white costume, white feather fans, it looked a bit too similar to the Swan Princess act and lacked any character development. It was the same act, but with a different costume. Sigh.
And again, the screeches of excitement…I can imagine it working quite well on a few occasions, but at the moment she’s overusing it.
Shpiller! Contemporary dance tribute to “The Raven”! Unexpected, unusual, perhaps somewhat questionable, but she was convincing and clearly had a story to tell.
It’s her show, so why the hell not?
Kristabel performed as a 1920’s detective (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries) and it was splendid. I just love how she unapologetically shows us different sides of her character - a coy Kristabel? Enchanting!
And then came The Dragon. Oh, dear reader, you might already know that I have a deep admiration for the art of Katerina Sahara. Her Dragon was as enrapturing as the first time I saw it. Despite the fact that there were a few technical mishaps (completely unnoticeable by the spectators, I assure you), and that she herself was not particularly pleased with this performance, it was hypnotising. The power! the smoothness! She immediately transports us all to a dimension of gorgeousness. A fantastic act by a fantastic performer.
Ah! Can you hear it? The time has come for the unavoidable venue promotion!
Ringmaster Alice gathered a group of enthusiastic air-musicians (some of them were real musicians, it seemed), the DJ turned on the karaoke version of “Bohemian Rhapsody” and off we went! Alice effortlessly ran from table to table, engaging every single member of the public into everyone’s favourite epic musical number. I do wish she paid a bit more attention to the “band” though, they were left somewhat abandoned on stage while she flew around. It did seem, however, that some of them were indeed entertainers, for they felt quite confident on the stage.
I must say, participating and witnessing it was great fun. Honestly, you can do no wrong with Bohemian Rhapsody, and my God, Shpiller has some pipes!
The grand finale of the night was the famous Cleopatra act by the mistress of the eve, Katrin Gajndr. Bathing in a chalice of real milk, surrounded by two slaves, legends have travelled of the exquisite vision of this act. However, somehow, it just did not deliver. It seemed as if Gajndr was either distracted or upset; there was no energy at all. The slaves were also quite timid and did not do the classic fabulousness of the act any justice. Good morning, this is performing 101 - a smoothing caress of a brush does a wig good. It’s still a spectacle, of course, but not quite as rich as the majestic Queen of the Nile.
THE FINALE
Ladies, congratulations!
The second instalment of Cinematographie truly was a major improvement from the first show. To put it quite simply, it was fun.
It was fun! I felt very entertained. Shpiller was feeling her mojo that night, and it was truly intoxicating. Gajndr was extraordinary (yes, even despite Cleopatra not quite rising to the occasion). Lisa Alisa had moments of divine beauty, Sahara stayed true to her fabulous brand, Kristabel revealed more colours of her tremendously intriguing diamond, and Miss April…well, everybody’s gotta start somewhere, right?
Extremely excited to see what they cook up next!
✶✶✶✶
UPDATE
As this review was being prepared, the next show has been announced - July 6th, Yes I Can-Can, in honor of Katrin’s birthday! And at a theatrical venue, too - how very curious!
First things first, the most important part of any review I shall ever write:
~The Eternal Disclaimer~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of Burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor.
I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion.
Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
The Moscow Burlesque Festival is an annual event that began in 2018.
It is organised by Lyalya Bezhetskaya, a legend of Russian burlesque (it is widely acknowledged that she is responsible for bringing the genre into Russia in 2006, after studying in London) and Alexandra (Leela) Zharkaya, who is a director and a writer.
The theme of the 2019 festival was “History of Burlesque/Feminine Sexuality through history”, 1899-2019.
The organisers have announced that they wish to move away from the usual classic structure of a festival in favour of a more theatrical approach - have a storyline, not just a succession of acts.
The place of action was the fabulous Moscow Hippodrome, specifically it’s “Astoria” restaurant.
My story shall be divided into three parts, beginning with
HEAVEN
What was great about this event?
First of all, THE VENUE. It was simply sumptuous. Everything, from the name to the location, every single interior (apart from the bathrooms, perhaps, but that is of little importance) was oozing with promise of glamour.
The stage was of an inspiring size and seemed quite well-equipped for such a performance. The waiters were an absolute delight - the uniforms and hair-styles were at times more exciting than those of the performers, and their kind and slightly sly attitudes made the prolonged waiting time fly by.
THE GATHERING OF THE GUESTS was also done well. The welcome hall featured a small number of stands (soft, simple, almost minimal lingerie, gorgeous accessories and a variety of headpieces). Though scaling down from last years bazaar, it was still dainty and delightful. The display of curious dresses proved to be a fruitful topic of conversation, and the champagne pyramid was a lovely touch.
THE LECTURE about the history of lingerie was superb - I could listen to Megan Virtanen all day long. It was truly splendidly educational and entertaining in the most classy, intellectual way.
It was quite curious to see the performers roam freely during the guest arrivals. To see their immaculate costumes up close…what a treat! Lyalya Bezhetskaya, mistress of the evening, looked particularly breathtaking, and her dignified opening speech was full of poise and class.
Also worth mentioning are the illustrations for the festival - the logo & the set of postcards are absolutely brilliant. The style of drawing is very elegant, and every single lady from those postcards is an inspiration!
Kitty Orlova’s Jazz Band accompanied all acts 1899 to 1959, and goodness me were they spectacular. The idea itself is absolutely genius and was executed with charming efficiency. Excellent musicians!
The Marshmallows, a retro-style singing trio responsible for the music break, are a gift to this world and to Moscow in particular. Impeccable singing, impeccable style, impeccable attitude. The dancers (The Jiving Rockets) that graced the stage during their performance moved with such ease, joy and class…that whole performance was a dream come true for this little retro snob.
As for the performances, I have my own holy trinity of divinity.
Katerina Sahara, Tamasinushka & Xana Martin.
Katerina was responsible for bringing the 30’s to life, and oh dear God it was extraordinary. To be quite frank, dear reader, it was everything I ever want to see in a classical burlesque act. Who knew that the goddess of twerk would embody a thirties diva with such ease? She did it like a natural - from the mood through the tight curl of her hair and to those eyebrows (which are very hard to pull off, darling). Brava, immaculate.
You might remember my main critique of Tamasinushka - self-indulgence without a shade of irony, a confidence that turns sour. Boy did she prove me wrong! Something clicked for her that night and the results were breathtaking. Could not take my eyes off her - she uncovered a tenderness and fragility that immediately elevated her to greatness. Appearing in the end of the show, she was The Ultimate Embodiment of Burlesque, one might suspect? (as you might understand, dear reader, it was not quite clear). Whatever she was, she was a feast for the eyes.
Xana Martin was a stand-out for me last year, and I couldn’t wait to see what she would do this year. She did not disappoint! Representing the 90’s, she brought her own fire and gorgeous skills and married them beautifully with the aesthetic. Queen of the Night indeed! You can see that she LIVES on stage, and that passion is contagious. Electrifying performer!
However, we do also have....
LIMBO
Regretfully, there was a bit of tension before the start of the show.
As guests were taking their places in the main auditorium, they were informed that a deposit must paid for the services of the restaurant. That is in every way to be expected and all tickets did specify that this will be the case.
However, an exact sum was demanded - and it was the same as the ticket price.
Many people have expressed their surprise and inability to pay the full sum (it was a slightly-higher-than-average price tag for most table seats).
It was Lyalya herself who came to speak to each confused customer, and once again, her grace and poise were on point.
However, the situation progressed and Ms Bezhetskaya appeared on stage, and began to address the issue without the aid of a microphone. The speech was a perfect example of passive-aggressive, we even got a treat of a threat - “the festival will not begin until everyone has paid some sum of money. Or shall we all just cancel it right now?”.
The situation had to be addressed, of course - but not by Lyalya. A Queen must have her loyal subjects - her mastery lies also in the ability to delegate, to wisely guide and trust. Unfortunately, this incident brought the mood down (which could’ve been resolved with a good warm-up!) and it seemed to stiffen Lyalya herself up - somehow all her numbers seemed impeccably rehearsed, but rather lifeless. And I don’t mean in an ethereal, dreamingly detached way - unfortunately, I mean in a distracted way.
Also, let me tell you about a lady that I find to be incredibly captivating -
Kitty Orlova.
She is a vision and a titanic talent, but her presence went somewhat amiss.
She had two acts in the very beginning of the show, singing and undressing.
The first was the opening song explaining the premise of the story, the second one was her being a museum statue that comes to life.
Orlova is star material, but it feels as if she wasn’t given a chance to shine.
I couldn’t help but wonder, why is she in a creative union with Bezhetskaya? I’m not sure it does her justice.
The story that was chosen for the narrative of this event was a clear echo of last year - Lyalya’s fiancee comes to see her perform, is shocked by the fact that she’s undressing and breaks the engagement. She answers by cursing him - I mean, literally casting a curse - he shall fall helplessly in love with performing beauties only to be ignored by them.
The curse will last a 100 years.
Which leads us straight to….
HELL
How did Zharkaya & Bezhetskaya, the infamous duo, sabotage a nearly foolproof idea?
I’m afraid that style plays a crucial part here. Style, or lack of thereof.
However, style is an extremely touchy and subjective topic, so I shall begin with more objective points.
1) Lack of proper introduction, aka NO WARM-UP.
If you are a seasoned admirer of the art of the tease, dear reader - or, in fact, if you’ve been to a single proper Burlesque show - actually, to any live performance of anything ever — you know that the relationship between audience & performer is crucial. In Burlesque this connection is especially vital, as a good cheer elevates both the (perhaps somewhat awkward) spectator and the performer (who by their nature crave reaction, it is their stage fuel).
So when the audience at this so-called festival received NO warm-up whatsoever, what followed? Awkward silences. I heard and saw a few single enthusiasts let out an occasional cheer-and-clap, but they were met with icy stares of misunderstanding from the frozen, confused crowd.
2) No act introduction.
I find this especially surprising, since Miss Lyalya herself specifies on her Facebook page that amongst the things of outmost importance to her is the way she’s announced. “The right presentation creates the required, necessary aura around any performer, but especially - the Queen of Burlesque”. (She does specify that the title has a tinge of irony, even though it did not shine through on this particular night).
The ladies simply appeared on stage, accompanied by change of background projection and a scene with the male protagonist (the cursed one).
In the very end, the actor did attempt to introduce each performer, but was drowned out by the music…clearly the sound engineer was as confused as most attendees.
As there was no programme, the only way to find out who you saw on stage was either to come up and ask or use the internet.
Both are bearable, but still - the fact that there was no proper announcement is simply disrespectful.
3) Every story told through male presence.
The actor (Maxim Loginov) was on stage most of the time.
What was he doing? Ogling.
Ogling.
Honestly, for what purpose?
This is 2019, ladies. Surely the story of feminine sexuality can be told without the aid of a male protagonist.
Perhaps if it were done more tastefully, it would work better, but here it simply looked clumsy.
Which naturally leads us to the two main problems.
First of all, it was not a festival, and not a burlesque one, either.
Was it a show? Of course!
But clearly the premise of creation was not that of a festival - which is perfectly fine, just don’t call it a festival, darling!
There is a reason why the classic approach became a classic - because it works!
A festival is a showcase of talent, a wider view on a topic that unites those who might feel the need to be in opposition. It’s a place of connection, expansion and exchange.
And this grudge-holding/envy-drinking/unhealthy competition air in the community is not doing any one any favours.
Furthermore, most of the acts had nothing to do with Burlesque.
Pregnant tribal dance by Armata Hari? Captivating! But what’s it got to do with Burlesque?
Attitude walking and whip-handling by Fetish Mari? Juicy! What’s it got to do with Burlesque?
Half-naked & lazing around high on a hazy stage? My Tuesday morning, honey, but what’s it got to do with Burlesque? (and what a waste of the playful genius that is KittenTits McGee!)
Prancing around in your own space-age fantasy? Well, why not, but what’s it got to do with Burlesque?
Expert blade skills by Tamara Skarzhinsky? Breathtaking! But what’s it got to do with Burlesque?
Mia Zarring, a sumptuous DJ? Fantastic! But what’s it got to do with Burlesque?
Can this show exist? Of course it can!
If it were simply “the exploration of female sexuality on stage, 1899-2019”, it would be a completely different story. A variety of genres would be welcomed!
But what’s the point of calling an event “The Moscow Burlesque Festival” and not giving Burlesque itself enough attention?
However, even that is not the biggest issue I had with the event.
I’m afraid that he ultimate description for this creation would be two words.
Tone. Deaf.
The line between vulgar and vivacious in Burlesque is a tricky thing, but it does exist.
It was simply quite poorly written, and some creative decisions were plainly crass.
From the aforementioned man (the actor is perfectly fine, it’s the circumstances he was put in and the way he was directed that’s problematic), a white Josephine Baker number (with the talents of the brilliant Ellisha Fox completely misused. He is surely NOT an accessory to Leela’s cold dancing), to Lyalya’s army number which shocked me quite horribly. War as entertainment? Throwing a grenade at the audience? I understand the playful, metaphorical subtext that was, perhaps, (hopefully!) intended, but it looked vulgar.
But nothing was as vulgar as the final kiss between producer and director…completely uncalled for, painfully serious, it had the aesthetic value of pretentiously cheap, lifeless porn.
Rueful.
Although, what can you expect from a director who blatantly announces this in her festival promoting video:
“I am an actress of eccentric burlesque. Do you know what eccentric burlesque is? It’s when during my act I will have sex with men...women...leopards...bananas...and so on. Come.”
Needless to say, this crass formula has nothing at all to do with Burlesque.
Oh good Lord, and that poor stage kitten’s styling…for what sins must she suffer so?…
It goes without saying that we should have an array of different styles and approaches, and comparisons are a sickly business. However, a painfully clear parallel comes to mind almost instantly.
While Pavlova declares “Down with the patriarchy” with elegant defiance, Bezhetskaya seems stuck within the limits of her disastrous “School of Burlesque” online series (shockingly vulgar, and not in an exciting, tingly way).
I’m afraid that events like this are the reason why so many people still associate the fine art of Burlesque with vulgarity.
✶✶
THE FINALE
But there is a solution. In fact, a glorious one.
The creation of a truly splendid festival - in the full sense of the word.
Russia is blessed with an extraordinary kaleidoscope of burlesque enthusiasts.
Unite Pavlova, Gajndr, Shpiller, Bezhetskaya and put on a remarkable feast of talent.
IN ANTICIPATION OF THE 2019 MOSCOW BURLESQUE FESTIVAL
I do indeed wonder what we shall see this year.
Last year was far from slick - from the frantic, overly-stressed waiters to that horribly written, ridiculous storyline that got in the way of good performances…Lyalya Bezhetskaya is a powerhouse & true warrior of the genre, so will the faults of yesteryear be taken care of?
Cabaret Show Cinematographié (Shpiller cabaret, Fleurs de Folie), March 2019.
~The Eternal Disclaimer~
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Now, onwards! To fabulousness!
Alice Shpiller & Katrin Gajndr strike again - mysteriously ditching Fleurs de Folie and swiftly moving to Cabaret-Show Cinématographié
The Venue
Cinematographe is quite fabulous - a little hard to find, perhaps, but just enough to spice up the anticipation. I wish their cocktails were less watery and the lights were more efficient, but overall, the atmosphere was welcoming.
The Wait
Was pretty uneventful, but simple & pleasant. I always enjoy being greeted by ladies in stoned tights.
The Performers
Katrin Gajndr knows what she’s doing - her acts are close to impeccable.
Perfect mix of old-school glamour, charming self-irony and inspiring self-confidence.
Fun fact: if you squint and look at her, Dita Von Teese appears. At times I wanted to see less of Dita and more of Katrin, for she is truly fascinating.
Alice Shpiller was the chaotic energy beam of the evening. Was it good? Not always. Does she have the balls to do it? Obviously. Does she enjoy it? Definitely. Was she annoying? At times.
Her cabaret star costume would’ve been simply wondrous, if it wasn’t for the black tights. Dear God, lose the tights!
The ‘masculine’ outfit was lacklustre. The shape of the suit did not compliment her figure at all - quite the opposite. Her singing is truly skilled, but the karaoke bit in the second half was simply uncomfortable.
“High Voltage” was entertaining, yes, but quite crass and somewhat out of place. The singing/dancing number that concluded act I was good - but I still don’t understand, was the dancing supposed to be in sync? If it was, the goal was not achieved.
Perhaps it would be wise to switch the outfits - start off as the man with the John Waters moustache and then transform into the beauty star.
With a bit of direction she can truly shine, as she does have enough talent for ten.
Kristabel Otem s mesmerising. Both of her acts were simply incredible, she embodied everything I love in Burlesque - that hypnotising combination of storytelling, meaning, playfulness, self-irony & philosophy of movement. Brava! The Death number is one of the best acts I’ve ever seen.
In fact, every act I ever saw from her was incredible - from Melancholia/Depression at last years Moscow Burlesque Festival, to the playful Suffragette and the flawless Death act…She is a marvel.
Lisa Alisa is extraordinarily baffling. I’m still not sure what I saw - we were promised a Bunny in the second half, but all we got was an extremely mediocre high hat/suit with shorts act. The monk (?) act left a lot of questions, and not in a good way. When the audience isn’t really responding to your moves, it’s an invitation to reconsider and reinvent your behaviour, not sulk & yell. This petulant child energy is far from alluring.
She clearly enjoys every second of being on stage, but does anyone else?
Whoever styled the Stage Kittens (Miss April & Janina Barabas) had nothing but cruel intentions. As the show progressed, the outfits got worse and worse - I am still deeply traumatised by the neon leopard-print stripper outfits. Hideous! As hideous as the hair…An elegant slicked back low ponytail would do wonders, but for some reason sloppy, sad hair was chosen. What a shame.
The ladies are clearly talented dancers. But their solo dance number was incredibly problematic - it’s 2019, folks. Time to give up the “shallow-cat fight-with-undressing” narrative.
Someone did these ladies dirty. What a shame!
The finale was dreadful - that sudden transition into loud Russian karaoke nearly broke every good vibe I harnessed during the show. Shockingly bad. At least have the decency to give those who detest this vulgar culture a few minutes to escape.
THE FINALE
On social media, the company parades the difference between the styles of Gajndr & Shpiller as a benevolent factor, but in reality it doesn’t do them any favours. Perhaps a different way of showcasing it might save the situation, because at the moment it’s simply messy.
Don’t get me wrong, I know this was their first show - but once again, I can forgive every mishap when I see the vision & the passion. This show was all over the place because it lacked a consistent style, consistent philosophy, consistent atmosphere. Why not make a showcase of different styles of Burlesque? It would save this mismatched parade.
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony.
All is sickly without self-irony.
Without further ado, onto our beautiful first show!
“Ladies of Burlesque” is the creation of Anja Pavlova, a shining star on the Berlin scene who descends into Moscow in attempt to elevate the world of Russian Burlesque.
The Venue
Quite splendid. Conveniently located minutes away from Taganskaya metro station, Dorfman karaoke drowns in luxury (it is painfully evident in the ludicrous lavatories). An atmosphere of glamour is immediately created - the view is good from all seats, the stage is well-located, the lights are a bit mad, but tolerable.
It is absurd for a Muscovite to complain about the price of anything, but the money demanded for the simplest things is aggressively silly.
The Wait
The producer of the show, who chose the somewhat childish moniker Konfetki, was at the door, checking the lists and being wonderful. She is delightful, but good God, please dress her better. The ensemble she chose did not fit the venue nor the atmosphere. She is gorgeous - let her outfit be gorgeous, too!
The magnificent lady selling pasties was exactly that - magnificent.
I wish there was a lady like that everywhere I went.
The Performers
Anja Pavlova is undoubtedly a ray of jazzy 20’s sunshine. “This is the show of my dreams”, she announces, and you can tell it’s true - she is simply glowing. She clearly knows what she’s doing and she loves it completely. However, at times her beaming adoration for the performers seemed over the top - especially when her words were far from the truth.
When one thinks of a chorus line, the mind is immediately alight with synchronised wonders, radiant smiles & fascinating costumes. That is how Anja introduced the Ladies of Burlesque Chorus Line.
But oh boy, it was a spectacle for all the wrong reasons. The costumes do not flatter the ladies at all and look quite sloppy. They were saved by the gorgeous headpieces and smiles, but the moves…seemed incredibly random. Rare moments of synced movements provided some sense of relief, but over all, for chorus line dancers, they have an abominable sense of rhythm and don’t dance that well. The girls seem very nice, but don’t have the oomph & electricity to really capture the audience. Also, they left in what seemed to be an embarrassed hurry. Never!
Also, you’re doing a burlesque show & you’re not cinched? Girl, bye.
As a wise professor used to say, “It’s not about the size, it’s about the line”. Take care of that silhouette, mademoiselle!
Then came the singer, Marie Weinberg. If only she was as good as our charming host promised…remarkably, her stage presence was close to nil. Both of the dresses were gorgeous, but she should’ve worn the green one first - the black & diamanté ensemble should’ve been saved for dessert.
The choice of songs was excellent, but she did nothing with them. Her version of “Oops I Did It Again” was surprisingly charmless. One mustn’t even do much to make it a hit, it’s all there - the dramaturgy, the humour, the irony, but somehow she managed to make it gloriously bland.
I was bored! At a Burlesque show! Nonsense.
Does she have a good voice? Yes.
Does she sing well? Yes.
Is she entertaining? No.
Does she know what do with an audience? No.
Do I want to see her again? No.
On to the deshabillants!
In general, I want to say that most of the acts were extremely similar. I know, I know, this is Burlesque, the main mechanism is quite predictable - but it seemed like 90% had a version of a wrap-around dress with pretty much the final look underneath. It is so fun to play with expectation in this genre, and somehow most of the performers completely overlooked this opportunity. However, this is only the beginning. Everyone started somewhere!
Ellisha Fox, I salute you. I can’t even imagine the amount of raised eyebrows and hurt pseudo-masculine egos you had to encounter on your path. His style is reminiscent of glorious anime characters, his moves are impressive, and those heels!! Those heels!!!! Good Lord, he’s a superhero!!
However, a pinch of self-irony would not ago astray. Perhaps, for a future act. I’d recommend taking a leaf out of Jett Adore’s book - specifically the Zorro act with which he travelled all over the world as part of Dita’s show.
Still, Ellisha had one of the best acts of the evening, Bravo!
If we were to speak about lack of self-irony, Tamasina Beansun is the queen of it. Her acts have excellent ideas - the Eve one she showed at last years’ Moscow Burlesque Festival, or the Little Red Riding Hood she presented this time - but her performances are so self-absorbed, at times one feels like he’s the third wheel. Like a party for one that you somehow found yourself in. And sure, it can be a style choice, but it’s not working. Sometimes it simply becomes vulgar. And it’s not a question of confidence, for it is always felt.
This is not the case. Simply put, she does not need the audience. Her self-indulgence feeds every appetite that she herself has.
Her Siberian Prime ally, Katerina Sahara, is an exact opposite. She loves the audience and it shows. Her acts range from witty & ironic (The Bunny), to majestic & mesmerising (the newest addition, The Dragon). Her moves are hypnotising, she always looks impeccable. She knows her worth and yet is the first one to laugh at herself. I must admit, her Dragon act amazed me. It was so well thought through, so gorgeous, utterly hypnotising. I often use her Bunny act as an example of brilliant Russian Burlesque. Can’t wait to see what she does next.
The Stage Kitten, our charming engineer, was quite good. I do wish she had a bigger moment though, you know, the moment. Also, perhaps it would be wiser to opt for a pair of more comfortable heels - the chance of a fall loomed over her in a quite a terrifying way.
Jeva Noir. I was particularly excited to see her, as I remember how sad she was at last years’ Moscow Burlesque Festival, sharing that they didn’t include her in the programme. Well, I must admit I can see why.
Does the act have an idea? Oh yes.
Is she gorgeous? Absolutely.
Is the costume marvelous? Quite.
The music? Good.
But something just didn’t click. Nerves? Perhaps. Some of her moves seemed forced & mechanical. In Burlesque, every move has a meaning, a purpose, a storyline to unveil. Also, a better wig is strongly advised.
If it is not a wig, better hair care is strongly advised.
Radmila Rocky Zombie got somewhat lost amongst the midst of performers. I was looking forward to this voluptuous beauty, but didn’t really get much. Caravan is a fantastic song, and she definitely has the skills, but something just didn’t work. There was no “wow” moment. I have a strong desire to see her other acts, this one seemed quite bland.
Well, Anja Pavlova is a treasure and a wonder. Not many leading ladies can shift between MC & performer with such ease & elegance. Her performances are a time machine, she exudes excitement. It is a treat to watch her.
However, when she gushed over the “kinky Burlesque” of Blanche De Moscou as something wildly original, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was convincing herself. In an industry where Dark Burlesque & Fetish Burlesque are huge, kinky Burlesque isn’t novel at all. Not even a little bit. Also, what was kinky about her number? A small demonstration of a few rather tame objects? The mask in the end? The spilling of the milk on her dainty bosom?
Blanche is a true enthusiast and her entrance look for this act is jaw-dropping. But the transformation that takes place in this performance can be made bigger, better, bolder.
THE FINALE
The show has a signature atmosphere of luscious elegance. It may not be thoroughly consistent, but it’s very clear that Pavlova knows what she wants and is working to fully fulfil her dreamy fantasy.
Perhaps if she were more strict and demanding, the results would be even more fabulous.
It is hereby declared that this little nook of the world wide web shall be devoted to the praise & critique of the art of burlesque, specifically in Russia.
Let it also be known that I am first and foremost a benevolent force, and every single criticism is documented solely for the purpose of evolution, growth and inspiration, darling.
Never forget - it is fantastic that the burlesque scene in Russia has grown so much in the last few years. Brava, ladies! As a fact and a statement, it is absolutely fabulous.
However, I volunteer to wear the heavy crown of expertise, having seen many a show in many a place, and having a keen eye for detail and a heart hungry for that wow factor. I always come with an open heart, am quite easily entertained, and know how hard the craft is - I can overlook many a fault when there’s stage presence, charisma and that fire of passion. Oh, and self-irony. All is sickly without self-irony.
