Jingled Balls
What has four paws and ruins not only Joelâs Christmas, but his orgasm, too?
Alternatively, you and your cat stay with your dadâs best friend over Christmas.
Tags - dbf!joel, smut, age gap, unprotected piv, creampie, cunnilingus, JOEL JORKS IT IN THE SHOWER, sexual tension, blow jobs, rough/angry sex, first aid, Joel is all grumpy and the target of all sorts of misadventures including but not limited to cat claws in Joel's balls and his butt cheeks, cats pushing shit off of Joel's counter, destroying Joel's house, etc. Some mentions of blood and injury but itâs not bad, I promise. 6.8k words. A/N - this fic is based on a true story of real crimes that have been committed by my dear Gizmo. Names have been changed out of respect for the victims. @endlessthxxghts thank you for editing babyyy i'd be lost without ya
My submission for @beefrobeefcalâs festive failure! I hope everyone has a safe holiday!!
December 20
Joel twiddles his fingers as he waits by a row of empty seats at the baggage claim area of the Austin airport, trying not to pace. He got here too early, been waiting a couple hours for your flight to land. He just couldnât sit still at home. Already twice cleaned the house top to bottom, fluffed the guest room pillows three times each.Â
You. Youâre staying with Joel this Christmas. It was a last minute thing; your family, wellâŠthey forgot about you. It wasnât intentional, all accidental. Your parents offered up every and any extra amount of room they have to extended family and in doing so, gave away your old room. Whoops.Â
And so Joel got a call from your dad, his best friend. Joel was supposed to spend Christmas with your family anyway, so your dad reached out to Joel to ask if heâd be willing to take you in while you visit Austin for the week. Joel, of course, didnât hesitate to say yes. Heâd do anything for you, the sweet little girl he watched grow up. Heâs missed you a lot since you left home.Â
Finally, there you are. Heâd recognize your smile anywhere. You wave excitedly at Joel, doing your little jog to greet him. Joel takes long steps to meet you halfway, in total disbelief at how grown up you are. Where did the time go? It was only yesterday that you were barely tall enough to reach Joelâs waist, and that was standing on your toes. He remembers teaching you to ride a bike and cleaning up your scraped knees with hydrogen peroxide, and after he bandaged you up heâd let you punch him in the arm as hard as you could to make it square. Look at you now - a beautiful woman, all grown up.Â
You set your carry-on on the ground and wrap your arms around Joel, squeezing him so fucking tight it steals the oxygen right from his lungs, not that he minds. But the way you kiss his cheek makes his skin burn and his heart pound harder.
âJoel,â you whisper excitedly, hugging him tighter.
Joel lets out a wheezy chuckle. âHey, kiddo. I missed ya,â he tells you. âSâbeen too fuckinâ long.âÂ
âIndeed,â you agree.Â
Joel notices the suitcases from your flight begin to come out on the conveyor belt and squeezes your side twice to alert you, âBetter go grab your suitcase, hm?â
âOh, yeah. Duh. Hereââ you laugh, pulling away from Joel to bend down. You pick up your carry on and put it in Joelâs arms, and he grunts at the surprising weight. âHold this. Be right back.â
Joel inspects the boxy bag you placed in his hands. He turns it to the side and behind a mesh screen are two big green eyes, all wide and untrusting. âUhhhâŠâ Joel murmurs, further inspecting as he raises an eyebrow. Itâs a cat - black fur all puffed up, growling at Joel as its eyes dart left and right. The cat hisses at Joel, causing him to nearly drop the carrier.Â
You greet Joel once more, this time with your suitcase rolling behind you. âUh, hey. Whoâs this?â Joel asks, suspicion lacing his tone.Â
âGizmo!â
âHuh. Gizmo.â The cat hisses again at Joel, startling him. âYou didnât tell me that Gizmo here would be a guest of mine.âÂ
âOh, I know. Iâm so sorry, Joel. It was all so last minute - I found out I was staying with you and then I called kitty daycare,â you begin explaining, Joel leading the way out of the airport and to his truck. He takes your suitcase and carries both that and the carrier. âAnd get this - they told me they wouldnât allow me to board Gizmo because he was too bad the last time. Can you believe that?â
âYeah, how âbout that,â Joel mumbles, not so surprised.
âI know. Itâs bullshit. But donât worry about Gizmo, Joel. You wonât even know heâs there.â
âMânot really a cat person, you know,â Joel says. âPretty sure Iâm allergic to the bastards, actually.âÂ
Joel puts your luggage in the backseat of his truck, then opens the door for you to get in the passenger side. âWatch your step,â he warns, giving you his hand as you slide in. Joel closes the door, rounds the front of his truck and joins you, promptly starting the vehicle. The loud engine makes Gizmo cry.Â
âSoâŠâ Joel begins, turning onto the busy highway. âHowâs it all going? Howâs work and whatnot?â
âGood,â you answer. âI donât know. You know - workâs work. You?â
âYeah, I hear that,â Joel replies. âWorkâs work and TommyâsâŠTommy.â His joke earns him a little giggle from you. âWhat else is new? Got a boyfriend?â You give Joel a look, and he shrugs. âWhat?â
âWouldnât you like to know, old man?â you tease, talking over Gizmoâs crying. âNo, I do not. What about you, Joel, do you have a boyfriend?â
âCute. Yeah, I do actually. Your father.â Another giggle. Joel laughs too, and he has to fight himself to keep his eyes on the road. You just look so fucking beautiful.Â
Gizmo whines some more, and Joel looks both irritated and concerned. âItâs okay, Gizmo,â you coo, reaching back to touch his carrier, though the effort does little to soothe him. Joelâs truck chimes when you unbuckle your seatbelt and throw your torso over the front seat, your ass right next to Joelâs head makes him cough and clear his throat.Â
âWhat the f-â
Thump. You land in the backseat and open Gizmoâs carrier to pet him and calm him. âItâs alright, Giz- oh, Gizmo, did you have an accident?â Joelâs mouth drops as his eyes dart frantically between the road ahead and the rearview mirror to watch you in the backseat. Heâs got a bad taste in his mouth about this. Â
Now at home, Joel listens to the awful sounds of Gizmo wailing and your shrieks as you bathe the cat after his accident. He had to clean the backseat of his truck, but he didnât tell you that. When youâre done washing Gizmo, you wrap him in one of Joelâs nicer towels, the one he set aside for you.Â
Itâs evening when you come downstairs, clutching your soggy cat in his towel. Youâre already in your pajamas, and Joelâs at the door paying the delivery person for the pizza he took the liberty of ordering.Â
âOoh, is that pizza?â
âSure is. Plain cheese and pepperoni. Sit down, Iâll serve ya,â Joel says. âWhat would you like?â
âCheese. Please and thank you.â
You smile as you sit down on Joelâs couch, scratching Gizmoâs damp little head as he purrs happily in your arms. With hands full with plates and cans of pop, Joel makes a disgusted sort of face as you kiss Gizmoâs nose. âHere,â he says, handing you a plate. Gizmo hops off of your lap.Â
âThank you.â You take a can of pop from Joel as well, cracking it open as Joel sits right next to you. He turns the TV on, Die Hard already a quarter through on whatever channel his TV was set to. Itâll do.Â
You and Joel eat pizza together, talking here and there until the conversation fades away and only pizza crust remains on your plates, which are haphazardly set on the coffee table in front of you. At some point, youâve slid closer to Joel, now pressed against his side with your head resting on his shoulder, dozing off to sleep. He smiles warmly, you poor thing. All worn out after a long day of travel. He doesnât mind being your pillow.
Scrrraatchk, skrecht. Joel hears the odd, rhythmic noise ofâŠsomething. âHey, honââ Joel wiggles his shoulder. âWhatâs that noise?â
âMm?â
âThat sound, itâsââ
Out of the corner of his eye, Joel catches Gizmo scratching on his leather recliner - his favorite recliner ever. La-Z-Boy just doesn't make them like they used to. âOh, god bless it. The fuckinâ catâs scratchinâ on my chair.â
âOh, shit. Psst,â you whisper, patting the couch to get Gizmoâs attention, who gives you and Joel that deer in the headlights look. âKnock it off. You know better than that, baby,â you scold in the sweetest, most indulgent tone. Joel rolls his eyes. This is getting old already. âSorry, Joel. Heâs just nervous, trying to make himself feel at home.âÂ
âMm,â Joel grumbles. âYou know, this is exactly why people get their cats declawed. You never considered that for Heathcliff there?â
âNo,â you deadpan. âItâs inhumane.âÂ
Joel raises his hands in surrender, then eyes Gizmo as he walks around the perimeter of the living room, stopping to sniff and bat at Joelâs Christmas tree. âWatch him,â he warns, voice dripping with irritation.Â
You smack his arm. âOh, relax, old man. Heâs not gonna do anything. Pretty tree, though.âÂ
âThanks. Decorated it myself.âÂ
âI can tell. Itâs missing ornaments in the back,â you tease. Joel rolls his eyes, though unoffended. âStill. Itâs nice to be around a Christmas tree. I donât have one this year.âÂ
âYou donât?â
âMm-mm. Gizmoâs too naughty.âÂ
Joel turns to look at you, baffled by your cognitive dissonance. He just shakes his head, and you go right back to almost-snuggling him.Â
Gizmo loses interest in Joelâs Christmas tree and continues making his rounds, checking out the window and pawing at the blinds, which makes Joel cringe. Before Joel can say anything you shiver, tucking yourself closer into his side. âYou cold, kiddo?â
âA little. But Iâm fine.âÂ
âBullshit.â Joel nudges you away from him so he can get up, then pulls a blanket from a basket on the floor. Itâs one of those fleece tie blankets, with the repeated logo of the Dallas Cowboys patterned on one side, plain navy on the other. You made this blanket for him, actually. Years and years ago. Itâs his favorite - used to be soft at one point, but itâs all scratchy and worn now, well-loved by Joel. He drapes it over his lap and holds one end up, inviting you to get cozy underneath it. But before you do, Gizmo jumps on Joelâs lap. âAwwwh,â you murmur, smiling warmly at your cat. âHe stole the blanket.âÂ
âYeah, but sâalright. Weâll jusâ move him,â Joel says, reaching for Gizmo.Â
âNo, no, heâs fine,â you insist, petting Gizmoâs back. âI think he likes you.âÂ
âOh, great,â Joel says sarcastically. Gizmo curls up happily on Joelâs lap, kneading the blanket right over Joelâs crotch, which is an uncomfortable sensation. Joel winces and grunts when Gizmo paws his balls. âWatch it, you little shit.âÂ
âBe nice,â you scold, swatting Joel in the arm.
âUh-huh.â
You and Joel finish the movie and start another, all with Gizmo sleeping happily on Joelâs lap. At some point, youâve curled yourself up and are now sleeping on your side, feet pressed against Joelâs thigh. âAlright. Time for you to fuck off.â Joel pushes Gizmo off his lap, earning a disgruntled meow from the cat. âYeah, yeah,â he mumbles, shooing him away before pulling the fleece blanket over your sleeping form. âIf it were up to me, youâd be sleepinâ in the garage. So donât you wake her,â he warns, wagging a finger in Gizmoâs direction. âAsshole.âÂ
December 21
A bit of golden light peeks through Joelâs curtain, gently waking him up. He yawns and checks his digital alarm clock, though he can barely make out the time. Meh. Itâs sunrise, whenever that is.Â
Youâre probably still sleeping, Joel guesses, so heâll grab the first shower. If youâre anything like when you were younger - and you are - if Joel doesnât shower first, heâll never get any hot water. He doesn't understand your unique inability to ever shower under 45 minutes, but he can work around it.Â
Groaning, springs squeaking with his shifting weight, Joel gets out of bed. He takes lazy, heavy steps toward the bathroom, hair sticking up in six different directions with bags under his deep brown eyes. He turns on the water and lets it warm up for a moment, grunting as he tugs his boxers down his thighs, erection slapping against his tummy. Heâs hard as a fucking rock - morning wood.Â
You. You shouldnât be in his head, but you are. Joel dreamed of you all last night, doing all sorts of filthy things with you, to you. Itâs probably nothing - youâre a pretty girl, and Joelâs not gotten laid in however long. Biology. Inappropriate. Wrong. But biology, nonetheless.Â
Joel steps into the tub, facing the showerhead. He wets his hair, water trickling down his broad, freckled shoulders. He first scrubs his hair using some 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner, tangling his fingers in the sudsy strands, then rinses and finger-combs his hair back. Next, he grabs a bar of soap and lathers it in a rag, washing over the broad planes of his chest, his soft tummy, all down his legs, then rinses and wrings out the rag.Â
His left hand on the wall, right hand palms his cock. Joel wraps his fingers around himself, sliding his hand all the way down, squeezing the base of his shaft. âOh, fuck,â he whispers, dragging his hand back up.Â
Joel fucks his fist with abandon, and in his head, heâs picturing you. âOh goddamn, kiddo,â he moans, eyes squeezed shut. Your eyes are all big and wide with your mouth full of his cock, drooling down his shaft and onto his balls. Or youâre on top of him, hands on his chest as you fuck yourself on his cock. Heâs behind you, big hands gripping your waist as he pounds against your ass, leaning over you to lick and taste the skin between your shoulder blades.Â
With his eyes closed as he pumps his cock, what Joel doesnât see is Gizmo. Gizmo, wedged between the shower curtain and the liner, sitting on the ledge of the bathtub, tail swinging wildly back and forth. His pupils are big as droplets of water roll down the clear liner.Â
Joelâs dick is red and throbbing, his cheeks are flushed pink as he approaches orgasm. âFu- oh,â he pants, quickly reaching for his damp washrag. He bites the fabric to quiet his noises of pleasure. His brow knits together, the wrinkles on his face handsomely defined as he grimaces when his cock begins to throb. Heâs about to fall over the edge when itâs all ruined - a sharp pain in his ass cheek, dragging down his flesh. âAHHH!â Joel screams in both shock and agony, looking for the source of his pain.Â
Of fucking course - Gizmo. Gizmo, with his little, fuzzy arm raised high, claws poking through the shower liner and right into Joelâs ass. Heâs squirming, stuck like that of course, go figure. âGet the fuck out of here you fuck-â Joel yells, violently shaking the shower curtain. Gizmo sprints out of the shower and around the bathroom in circles, anxiously pawing for any way out. âGod fuckinâ - SHIT,â he rages, stomping out of the tub sopping wet and inadvertently kicking Gizmo with every step he takes. Joel frantically opens the bathroom door, wet hands slipping on the handle. âScram, you fuckinâ asshole,â he spits, watching Gizmo slip out of the bathroom.Â
âJOEL?!âÂ
Gizmo jumps right into your arms, and Joel gawks at you.Â
âWhat did you fucking do to my cat?â
âWhat did I do?â Joel seethes. âHe clawed my fuckinâ ass cheek!âÂ
Joel canât believe his eyes. Youâre shooting him dirty looks as you kiss Gizmoâs little head, and Gizmoâs headbutting your face in return. He rubs his cheeks on your nose and curls his furry little body into yours, and you pout as you soothe him. âYeah, sure. Worry about the cat. Iâm fuckinâ fine, I guess,â Joel bites, catching a glimpse of a small amount of blood running down his thigh from his ass.Â
Joel shuts the door then, and gets back into the shower. He washes the scratch with soap and water, wincing at the sting. When heâs done with his shower - and only his shower, as itâs now too late for him to make himself come, Joel apologizes to you for losing his temper.Â
âWell, donât apologize to me, Joel. Apologize to him.â
Joel pauses, jaw twitching, balling his hands into fists as he glares at Gizmo purring contentedly in your lap. âSorry.â Itâs the most painful, undeserved apology heâs ever had to make.
Between the holidays and your cat, Joel can already tell itâs gonna be a long fucking week.Â
December 22
Joelâs current job site isnât too far from home, so instead of eating a packed sandwich in his truck, he decides to come home one afternoon to make himself something for lunch.
He enters his house through the garage and sees you napping peacefully on his couch, snoring ever so quietly. Your lips are pouting, drooling a little onto his leather couch as the TV plays at a low volume. Joel chuckles quietly, shaking his head. It makes Joel happy to see you comfortable like that, so at home at his house.Â
He strolls into the kitchen and opens his refrigerator, grabbing some lunch meat and cheese. He tosses them onto the counter, then grabs a jar of mayonnaise and a loaf of bread sitting on top of the refrigerator, sets those down too. Joel grabs a plate, and when he turns back around, Gizmoâs on the counter.Â
âGet down from there,â Joel hisses, shooing away the cat. âGo on, git.âÂ
Gizmo blinks at him nonchalantly, which pisses Joel off. He knows that fucking cat speaks English. So Joel takes the liberty to shove Gizmo off of the counter, Gizmo landing on all fours with a thump and a discontent meow. âYeah, shut up. Overgrown fuckinâ rodent.âÂ
Joel pulls two slices of bread from the loaf and opens the jar of mayonnaise, spreading a thin layer on each piece. He moves the jar out of the way and begins assembling his sandwich, and Gizmo hops right back onto his spot on the counter to stare at Joel.
âOh, you littleâŠâ Joel whispers, trailing off and shaking his head. Joel cuts his sandwich on the diagonal, then begins making another - for you, of course. You always told Joel sandwiches taste better when he makes them. Youâre a master fucking manipulator, with Joel wrapped tightly around your finger.Â
Gizmo reaches for the cheese. âDonât even think about it, shithead,â Joel gruffs, swatting his paw away. âThe sandwich is for her. Not. You.âÂ
Joel puts your sandwich in a little baggy and places it in the refrigerator before writing a note for you on a post-it. When he returns to the counter, Gizmoâs surreptitiously dipping his paw into the mayonnaise. âHey!â Joel snaps, âGet yer filthy goddamn mitts outta there.âÂ
December 23
Itâs late at night when Joel wakes up to a horrible suffocation. His eyes fly open and his heart pounds with the heavy weight on his chest, and in his hypnagogic state, he begins to panic. Fuck, heâs having a heart attack. Confused and scared, he tosses his body with the little strength he has, and thatâs when he feels it - two paws rhythmically pressing into his chest, a low purr.Â
Gizmo.Â
âGet the fuck off of me,â Joel whispers, pushing Gizmo off his chest.Â
Gizmo makes a little mrrp noise on the floor, then leaves. Joel rolls his eyes and tosses onto his stomach, then tries to drift off to sleep.Â
But he canât. Joelâs up now, as thereâs nothing like a middle of the night panic to jolt the nervous system wide awake. So Joel groans softly as he sits up in bed, yanking the blankets off his body. He takes slow, sleepy steps out of his room and down the stairs, grabbing himself a glass from the cabinet above the sink. âFuckinâ cat,â he mumbles quietly as he fills the glass with some water. Joel takes a few sips, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of his house. In his living room, he can see some ornaments are strewn across the floor, lights pulled off the branches of his Christmas tree. As if on cue, Gizmo brushes up against Joelâs leg. âI know what you did, you motherfucker,â Joel grumbles, gently pushing Gizmo away with his foot. Joel sets the glass of water down, then makes his way to the living room.Â
He first puts the lights back on the tree, and then he gathers the ornaments and places them back on the branches.Â
Skrrrch.
Joel looks back to see Gizmo on the counter, nudging Joelâs glass along the surface with a gentle bat of his paw, inching it closer and closer to the edge. âHEY,â Joel whisper-yells, warning the cat, âI fuckinâ dare ya, cat. Jusâ watch what happens.âÂ
Gizmo makes direct eye contact with Joel as he pushes it off, and it lands with that signature, awful sound of broken glass.
âGod bless it.âÂ
Joel stomps over to Gizmo, who frantically jumps down off the counter and skitters off into another room. Joel chases him down and turns on a light, then corners him and grabs his little body. He cradles the squirming, whining cat and inspects all four paws to make sure he didnât step on any glass, then tosses him back onto the floor, where Gizmo then runs up the stairs and into Joelâs guest room to join you in a peaceful slumber.Â
Joel sweeps up the broken glass, defeated.Â
December 24
Joelâs off work for both Christmas Eve and Christmas day, so finally, he gets to spend some time with you. Heâs in his pajamas making eggs and toast for you at the stove, and youâre at the kitchen table, sipping on the orange juice Joel poured for you. âVitamin C,â heâd said. âSâgood for ya.âÂ
Joel plates your eggs, done just how you like them, and butters your toast. âHere ya are, darlinâ,â he murmurs, setting down both yours and his plates at the table.Â
âThank you, Joel,â you smile. Gizmoâs weaving in and out between your feet on the ground. With the side of your fork, you cut off a small bite of your eggs and drop it on the ground, smiling at the way Gizmo darts out to eat it. Joel just watches, completely dumbfounded.Â
âYou and that cat,â he sighs. âYou know, heâs been causinâ me all sorts âa trouble all week.â
âOh, I donât believe that,â you argue, leaning down to scratch Gizmo between his ears.Â
âWell, you should, âcause heâs the fuckinâ devil. Broke a glass last night.âÂ
âDid not.â
âDid too. Anâ heâs been fuckinâ with my tree,â Joel adds.
You roll your eyes. âItâs just a little cat, Joel. Are you being bullied by a tiny little cat?â
âAs a matter âa fact, yes. I am.âÂ
You and Joel spend the rest of the day relaxing and watching Christmas episodes of sitcoms together. Joel has you wrap his presents, claiming itâs what you owe him for allowing you and your devil cat to stay.Â
In the late afternoon, you and Joel get ready to go to your parentsâ house for Christmas Eve dinner. Joel wears a dark green flannel and runs a comb through his hair, and you put on a nice dress, one that hugs your curves beautifully.Â
You knock twice on his bedroom door. âJoel?â Â
âYeah, kiddo. Câmon in.âÂ
âJust wondering if you can zip me,â you ask quietly, spinning around for Joel to pull the zipper up your dress.Â
âCan do,â he answers. He puts a hand on your waist and tugs the zipper all the way up, then smoothes out the fabric. âYâlook beautiful,â he tells you. âKnow that?â
âJoooel,â you murmur bashfully, elongating his name.Â
âI mean it,â Joel says, spinning you around and pushing a bit of hair out of your eyes with his pinky finger and smiling at you, which makes you all flustered. Joel clears his throat then, ushering you out of his room and down the stairs. âMânervous about leavinâ that cat of yours all alone, you know. If we get home from this and that asshole destroyed my fuckinâââ
You squeeze Joelâs arm. âRelax,â you tell him, but your words do little to soothe the man. The whole time at dinner, all Joel can talk with your parents about is how awful Gizmo is. All the trouble heâs caused, and how you think the little bastard can do no wrong. âYour daughter feeds him,â Joel tells your dad, watching your reaction. You scoff and roll your eyes. âRight from her plate.âÂ
The night comes and goes, much like it always does. Christmas comes so much faster than it ever used to, and it doesnât last as long. Joel drives you both home and to Joelâs surprise, his house is in one piece. But not the present he got you.Â
âGoddamn it,â Joel grumbles, seeing the gift bag he left under his tree for you in shreds. He picked out a little black cat ornament for you, and thought youâd like it. He put some cat treats in the bag too. Go fucking figure that Gizmo ruins it.Â
You help Joel clean up the mess of shredded paper and plastic, all the cat treats are, of course, eaten. âFuckinâ catâs probably pukinâ in my bed,â Joel gruffs.Â
You put your ornament on Joelâs tree and squeeze his shoulder sympathetically. âYouâre thoughtful,â you tell him.Â
Joel smiles with his lips pressed together. Heâs so ready for this week to be over. Heâll miss you - god, will he miss you when youâre gone, but he will not miss your asshole fucking cat. âHow âbout another Christmas movie, hm?â
âYeah,â you agree, smiling.Â
âMâtakinâ requests. Got any?â Joel opens his entertainment center cabinet to show you his array of DVDâs, the Christmas movies all already set out.Â
âThis one.â You tap the Bad Santa DVD case. ââCause heâs hot.âÂ
âWho is? Billy Bob Thornton?â
âMhm,â you nod, smirking.Â
Joel makes a disgusted face and gives you a look, but puts the movie in the DVD player anyway. Some of the vulgar jokes make Joel blush, which is uncomfortable for him and entertaining for you.Â
When the movieâs over, itâs time to go to bed. For real, too. You and Joel have to be at your parentsâ house again in the morning and will likely spend the entire day there, getting no alone time or space from anyone. Joel bids you goodnight and kisses you on the cheek, then heads to the bathroom for a night time shower. He doesnât wanna fight you for it in the morning.Â
Joel keeps only the night light on in the bathroom. Heâs exhausted, eyes are dry and stinging with tiredness. He pulls off his t-shirt, unbuckles his belt and slides his jeans and boxers down his legs together, then toes off his socks, yawning as he scratches his balls. In a sleepy haze, Joel gets into the tub and turns on the shower.Â
Heâs met with that sharp, awful, excruciating pain of claws in his skin, only itâs not in his thighs. Not in his ass.Â
His fucking balls. Your catâs claws are in Joelâs balls, and dragging down his sack. Joel feels like puking as it happens, and at the same time heâs being blasted with cold water as Gizmo panics and scratches his body further. Itâs like a cartoon, when two characters fight and itâs just pure chaos - a cloud of screaming and other concerning noises, concerning noises that startle you awake.
âFUUUUUUCK!!â Joel yells, scrambling to get out of the tub. He clutches his scrotum and wraps a towel haphazardly around his waist, feeling dizzy as he bleeds into his palm. âFuck - yââÂ
You fly out of bed and sprint to the bathroom, where Gizmo is clawing at the bottom of the door. âJoel?â you knock frantically. âJoel!â
Joel unlocks the door and Gizmo sprints out, soaking wet and leaving a path of water droplets in his wake. Joelâs white as a fucking ghost. âJoel?â
âH- he-â Joel canât even get the words out. Still holding his towel in place, Joel checks the palm of his hand and sees a mess of crimson. âOh my god,â he says with a weakened voice.Â
âJoel, what the fuck? What happened?!âÂ
Joel shakes his head, vision going spotty as he waddles to his bedroom and sits on the bed. You follow him, shutting the door behind you and turning the light on in his room. âJoel.âÂ
Joel says nothing, only peeks slightly at his crotch. He does his best to protect his modesty with you there but fuck, heâs gonna faint. And unfortunately, you might see more than you should, should that happen.
âDid he scratch you?â Joel only nods, swallowing thickly. âOkay, alright. Whereâs your first aid stuff?â
âBathroom vanity,â Joel chokes out.Â
You hurry to the bathroom and grab Joelâs first aid kit, then return quickly to him.Â
Joel has a strong stomach, however, the sight of his mangled scrotum is too much for his heart to take. If he looks, he might puke and faint and thatâll make everything worse. âYou gotta do it,â he tells you, urgency in his voice. âI canât look. Cat fuckinâ butchered me. Iâm a eunuch.â
âOkay, okay,â you whisper, sitting beside Joel. You take his hand in yours, the one thatâs clutching his towel shut. Heâs shaking, trembling, and you move it to the side so you can open his towel.Â
âIâm gonna be sick,â Joel says.Â
âYouâre fine,â you reply calmly, though in all honesty youâre pretty nervous too. âIâm gonna open up your towel, okay?â
âYeah, go âhead and do it. Mâso sorry, kid. Jesus christ,â Joel groans. He leans back so that heâs laying flat on the bed, palms pressed into his eyes as his tummy rises and falls with panicked breaths.Â
You open the towel and asses the injuries.Â
Itâs not bad.Â
Really.Â
Itâs not. But you still wouldnât trade places with Joel, right now. Thereâs quite a few scratches here and there, some deeper and longer than others. Nothing a little cleanup and some antibiotic ointment canât fix. âOkay, Joel. Iâm gonna be right back, I need to get a soapy rag.â Joel gives you a weak thumbs up.Â
You run the water on warm and lather a clean rag with some soap, then return to Joel to wash the scratches. âMight sting,â you tell him, dragging the rag gently over his sack. You do your best to remain professional or something of the sort, to ignore how Joelâs cock thickens at your touch. His thick thatch of hair spattered around the base of his dick, gray, wiry hairs sprinkled amongst the brown. Heâs thicker than you would have guessed, longer too, curved so beautifully. And his thighs - gorgeous, toned. Belly is soft, arms are strong. Heâs gorgeous, all laid out like this.
JoelâsâŠJoel is feeling every emotion. Embarrassment, because his best friendâs daughter is between his thighs and carefully tending to his lacerated balls. Rage, because her fucking shithead cat is the reason heâs in this predicament. Aroused, because heâs only a man, and youâre too fucking pretty for him to not get hard from your touch.Â
âAre you doing okay, Joel?â you whisper. Â
âAsk me later.â Joel wipes some sweat from his brow. âSorry about theâŠmyâŠuhâŠâ
âItâs fine,â you assure him. âDidnât know you were hung like that, Joel.âÂ
âJesus Christ, kid, donât say shit like that.âÂ
You stifle your laughter as you toss the rag to the side, the bleeding now stopped. You unscrew the cap of some Neosporin, then squeeze a generous amount onto your fingertip.Â
âIâm gonna touch you,â you warn. âJust some Neosporin. Okay?â
Joel nods. âGo for it.â He clears his throat when you touch his shaft, moving it slightly out of the way so you can dab the ointment on his scratches. Fuck, heâs struggling to conceal his moans and his stuttered breathing.Â
Gizmo hops on the couch then, and headbutts Joelâs bicep.Â
âGet that goddamn cat away from me before I put him through the fuckinâ wall,â Joel seethes.Â
You donât push. You know Joel means business, and Gizmo really did fuck up this time. âPsst, Gizmo. Get down. Leave Joel alone,â you whisper, swatting Gizmo onto the floor. âGizmoâs really sorry,â you murmur, still rubbing ointment onto Joelâs balls. âHe didnât mean to, Joel. He mustâve thoughtââ
Joel holds up a hand to stop you. âDonât. Jusâ donât.â
âOkay,â you whisper. You lift Joelâs ballsack to see if you missed any scratches, but you didnât. âYouâre all done, Joel.â
Joel scoffs, and you stroke his thigh soothingly to calm him. He says nothing, only collects his breathing. His cock is still achingly hard, a pearly, pretty bead of precum at the tip.Â
Itâs a risk, but you take it anyway. You lean down and press a kiss right against his ballsack, conscious to avoid any scratches inflicted by Gizmo.Â
âWoah, woah, woah-â
âShhh,â you whisper. âDo you want this?â
âYeah, but-â
âBut nothing.â You kiss Joelâs sack all over as much as you can, and once youâve exhausted that, you kiss up his hard shaft. âIâm kissing it better.âÂ
You lick up the length of Joelâs shaft, then circle your tongue a few times around the tip. With one hand wrapped around the base of his cock, you rest the other on his tummy.Â
âOh, sweetheart,â Joel sighs, voice dripping with relief as his hips thrust up, almost as if to chase your mouth. He sits up and reaches for your head, softly dragging his nails over your scalp rhythmically. âYouâre a good girl.â
You take his tip into your mouth, working your way down his cock to take him fully inside. Joel tastes salty, sweaty, heady and so masculine, just like you always imagined, and it makes you wet. And you, with your warm and wet and inviting mouth, Joelâs imagination didnât come close to mimicking this. You bob your head up and down his shaft, bouncing your nose into his pubic hair.Â
âJusâ like that,â Joel grunts. âAttagirl.âÂ
His words only worsen your growing arousal, and you can feel yourself making a mess of your panties. You fuck Joelâs cock with your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and spitting down his shaft and your knuckles.Â
Joel pulls your head away from his cock. âWait a second,â he tells you. âWanna look at the mess youâre makinâ,â he mumbles, admiring the slick, wet mess of your saliva on his cock. âGood fuckinâ girl,â he murmurs, then pushes you back down onto his cock.Â
Joel thrusts into your mouth a bit harshly, though maintaining a certain gentleness to it. He ruts into your mouth, grunting your name as you drool on him, just as he pictured before.Â
You reach into your skirt and pull your panties to the side, the cotton is all but soaked with your wetness. Dragging a finger up and down your folds, you moan onto Joelâs cock, sending vibrations down his shaft.Â
âWhatcha doinâ there, kiddo?â he rasps.Â
âNothing,â you murmur, pressing kisses against his dick.Â
âSure donât look like nothinâ. Câmere.â Joel pulls you close to him and tugs the zipper of your back down your dress, then helps you out of it. He unclasps your bra and pulls your soaked panties down your legs, clutching them in his fist before shoving them behind his pillow.Â
In a swift motion that has you yelping excitedly, Joel flips you on your back, the bed beneath you warm with his body heat. Joel settles between your thighs and pushes your knees back toward your chest. âYeah, sâit. This what you wanted, sweetheart?â
âYeah,â you whisper, settling into his pillows. Joelâs hot breath fans over your hot, pulsing sex as he places his large, meaty hands on the backs of your thighs. Fuck, the way you smell has Joelâs head spinning, dizzy with lust. He presses kisses against your inner thighs first, working his way toward your center where he kisses sloppily over your clit.Â
âMakinâ a mess of my sheets, yâknow that, kid?â Joel teases, admiring the puddle of arousal youâre dripping onto his bed. He feels the heat of your cunt radiating against his face, inviting him in. He squeezes the meat of your thighs as he licks one long stripe up your pussy, then rubs your skin in circles with his thumbs.Â
With a flattened tongue, Joel continues licking, rounding your clit before repeating the motion. He memorizes your folds, your taste, your scent. You moan his name and clutch his head against your cunt, your wordless plea for more.Â
âIâll give ya more, sweetheart. I know what you want,â he says, tongue now circling your entrance before dipping inside to taste you. He drags his tongue back up and flicks it up and down over your clit. Urgently, you tug on his graying, dark curls, pleasure blooming in your gut. Youâre soaking his face as your climax approaches, thighs twitching beneath his palms. âJoel, Joel, Joel,â you chant.Â
âLet go, darlinâ.â
Youâre about to come when -
CRASH
Itâs a loud, thundering crash, the sound of broken glass and heavy objects hitting the floor. Joel growls against your pussy and violently punches the bed on either side of you before tearing himself away from your cunt and stomping downstairs with a renewed anger for your cat.Â
âI swear to fuckinâ Christ,â he fumes, seeing the mess Gizmo, of course, made. Youâre right behind Joel, your jaw dropped in shock.Â
Ornaments all over the floor, some shattered and others still in one piece. The Christmas tree is somehow in two pieces - god only knows how gizmo managed to do that. The Christmas lights are strewn all over the place and thereâs your precious cat, tangled up in the mess. Joel seethes as he makes his way toward Gizmo to free him of the lights, âYou get the fuck outta here,â he hisses.Â
âIt was an accident!â
Joel turns around, chest heaving with his angry breaths. âNot another fuckinâ word,â he says, grabbing you by the arm and forcing you over the leather recliner. Joel laughs without humor when he sees that itâs been further scratched by Gizmo.
He parts your legs with his foot, then lines up with your slick hole and enters you in one swift thrust, the action both mind-splittingly painful and pleasurable.Â
âJoel,â you moan, reaching behind yourself to grab at his thigh as he sets a quick, brutal pace.Â
âYou areâŠâ he starts, âNeverâŠbringingâŠthat fucking catâŠhereâŠever again,â Joel pants, fucking you with anger. âDo you fuckinâ understand me?â
âY-yes,â you whimper, voice muffled with your face pressed into the chair.Â
Joel draws out of you all the way, admiring your milky arousal glistening on his cock underneath the glow of the ruined Christmas lights. He plunges back in, then fucks you harshly. He draws in and out of you so quickly and steadily, the head of his cock brushing over your g-spot with each of his thrusts. âFuck,â he grunts, pulling you by your hips onto his cock repeatedly.Â
He breathes loudly through his nose, fucking fuming with rage as he uses your cunt to relieve himself of the stress you - yes, you caused him. That cat may be Satanâs spawn but heâs still yours. You are responsible for this.
Pleasure builds quickly in you, and Joel can tell. He leans over you to press his fingers against your clit; he doesnât even have to move them to make you come. Just the pressure and the motion of his rough fucking is enough to send you over the edge, pussy pulsing and gushing on Joelâs stiff cock, making a mess of him.
Joel pulls you against his chest and bites your ear as he pounds into you, chasing his own orgasm. His balls tighten and his body tenses before release, and then heâs spilling into you, spurting milky white ropes of his hot come inside you. âFuck, goddamn,â he grunts, fucking himself through his climax. When heâs finished, he pulls out of you unceremoniously, your combined arousal spilling onto the ground. Whatâs another fucking mess to clean up.
Joel rounds the chair and plops onto the couch, pulling you down with him. You yelp as you fall but he catches you in his strong arms and hugs you close against his body, kissing your forehead and cheeks. âI fuckinâ hate that cat,â he tells you, panting.Â
Gizmo mrrps then and jumps onto Joelâs lap with you, walking over both of your bodies to greet Joel specifically, bunting Joelâs face as he purrs.Â
âHeâs really sorry,â you giggle.Â
âYeah, mâsure.â Joel surprises you both and brings a hand to Gizmoâs face, gently petting his head. âI mean it,â Joel warns. âNever. Again.âÂ
IF YOU ENJOYED!!! Please leave me a comment or say something nice in your reblog, or send me an ask ⥠i love when you make this blog feel like a community ily. ty so much <3 <3 <3
I was about to DNF this because I'm really not a cat person and I dislike pet owners who let their pets cross boundaries - but it was just so well-written... And GOD am I glad I kept reading because holy shit, the way it all ends is đđđ Did I know I needed scratched-ballsack blowjobs and cat-anger sex living in my head? No, and yet I'm so glad they've moved in. I won't be charging rent đ thank you so much for this spectacularly original story đđ














