silent in the trees. @devourearth - Tumblr Blog

theoptia

Clarice Lispector, from Selected Cronicas

#study

toiich

Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body

#re: van

papayajuan2019

april fools in a few weeks. who will ask me to be their fool

#re: van

weltenwellen

My Summer of Crisis Trisha Low

#study #re: van

“cathy was the first woman with whom i fell in love. every crush, every close friendship, every momentary rush of desire or fear that came before or after was made understandable by what i felt for her. simply because nothing else was as intense and overpowering. lying in her arms, i felt crazy. and willingly so. eager to give my life to make her happy. to suffer if suffering would ease her misery. to shame myself or look silly if that would make her smile. breathing in the aura of her, that salty, smoky taste of soapy skin and bitter cigarettes made my heart swell and tightened my throat until it ached. dreaming about her woke me up.”

#re: van #skin.#the most van passage comin from a book tori told me to read yeah i'm sure #dreaming about her woke me up that's crazy

My voice sounded distant. I hadn’t made the active choice to lie. It was just habit. Easier than telling the truth. The lies let me stay numb.

#study #wlitw.

I’d never been in Cass’s house alone. It had an antiseptic quality to it. Even the decorations seemed utilitarian, there to create a certain image. Cass had decided who she wanted to be and constructed her life around it. The single mom, successful business owner. She’d clawed her way to normalcy. I could understand why she hadn’t wanted Liv to disrupt it.

#study #wlitw.

There was a fist around my throat as we cut our way through the dismal strip of downtown. Liv was dead. She’d killed herself, but we’d killed her, too. We hadn’t listened to her. We’d wrapped our hands around our secrets like barbed wire, even when they cut into us. Even when there was no goddamn reason not to let go. I was still holding on.

#re: melissa #wlitw.

The promise was a private thing. Cass had always been the together one. We were her beloved disasters, but there were things she didn’t understand. “We have this thing,” I explained reluctantly. “I tell her that I’ll be here tomorrow, and she says she will, too. When we’re having a hard time. It’s a promise. To at least make it one more day.”

#re: nat #wlitw.

girlfictions

Ada Limón, from Lies About Sea Creatures

#study

I remember, the bed was made. I remember thinking how neat everything looked.

#lm.#study #re: parents

"There was just something weird about that house. It had a really strange feeling about it. I really can't explain to you what it was exactly, but you'd go in there and just have this bad feeling, like, in your gut.

I started having these nightmares, and they were so distressing that sometimes I just wouldn't want to open my eyes. I'd woken up, but I didn't want to open my eyes.

There was one particular one, it was quite vivid and recurring. Alice would come down the hall still dripping from the dam and just stand at the foot of our bed, just staring at us. It was quite terrifying, as I said, I didn't want to open my eyes.

By early February, my nightmares were getting so bad that I began to go for walks at night, sometimes for hours at a time, just so that I didn't have to go to bed at night and close my eyes and go to sleep. Sometimes I would actually go into people's houses. I didn't feel like I was doing anything wrong. I guess I really just wanted to be inside someone else's life for a while."

#lm.#study