Forever was just a temporary fix for you. you never loved me. you only loved the thought of me and that's what kills me. I hope you're happy with whoever you choose.
trying on a metaphor
untitled

Janaina Medeiros
RMH

Origami Around
almost home
🪼

oozey mess

Love Begins

JVL
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
h
$LAYYYTER
occasionally subtle

if i look back, i am lost
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

titsay
wallacepolsom
Stranger Things

roma★

seen from United States
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@deynaxt
Forever was just a temporary fix for you. you never loved me. you only loved the thought of me and that's what kills me. I hope you're happy with whoever you choose.
I miss you babygirl. wish you were here with me and mommy. next week though. we will have you again. I love you
My world
is falling apart. I got news today that Corey cannot have heart surgery that was going to save his life. Instead. he's going to suffer until his heart gives out. The doctors refuse to help him. He's moving here to Oklahoma to spend his last waking days with me. My heart hurts so bad, I don't know what to do. God, if you're listening, I've learned my lesson. Please stop this pain.
SMOKE MORE……..STRESS LESS 👽✌
The Nomad pt 3
Recovery was a bitch. But it was a hell of a lot more boring than this place. It's 9pm and I'm at the warehouse location detective Clark told me to be at. Where the hell is everyone? Dingy little part of town. Just industrial buildings everywhere, but this is the only one that faces the water. I decide to knock on the steel door and see if someone answers. A camera by the door turns and faces me, coming into focus as I hear a man's voice "who are you? What are you doing here?" Sounds like he's using a voice distortion system. "Uh, I was told to come to this building for some tech stuff. I'm "the new kid". Clark sent me" I say rather bored. The last thing I want is to waste my time while that asshole of a cop is out there probably putting another person like me in the hospital. Voice "Use the thumb pad. By the door. If you check out, you may enter. Do so at your own risk." Then there was a click and behold, a thumb print pad comes into site from the wall. Hmm. I couldn't imagine this kind of technology here. I press my thumb to the pad and feel a slight pinch. Did that thing just take my print and my blood? Wtf kind of system is this? Then it retreats back into the wall before I can punch it. I hear the locks slide from the door and snap into place. I push the door and enter a dark room with ultraviolet lights. Down the hall, I see a small desk light so I head that way only to be stopped mid way. A little guy, maybe 100lbs or so, meets me with large goggles on his head. "Hey! You really are the new kid!" He says with an enthusiastic high pitched voice. "I'm Zimmer. Your tech guy. I'll be running all the main diagnostics on that chip in your head. You're in for a treat! Ever use a VR? Man those things are cool..." now he's talking 90 to nothing "anyways, I can turn that chip intimate coordinates so we can track you, but also, it can read heart signatures and you'll see it in plain sight. Like having a screen over your eyes. You'll also be able to see through walls! But not clothes. I haven't fixed that bug yet...." he pauses, I assume blushing. Leave it to me to get stuck with an ADD computer nerd. He takes my hand and leads me through the darkness, sitting me down in a chair and pushes a button to turn it into a table then flips the switch. Lights come on. The place is covered in high tech computers and equipment I didn't even know existed. "What's all this for?" I ask. He grins really big "oh, this is your new beginning. Once I tap into that chip, you're gunna go for a joy ride through these computer systems until we get everything online. So sit back" as he grabs one of the cables. "Is this gunna hurt?" I ask, a little intimidated now. "Oh most definitely!" He exclaims as he hooks a bunch of wires to my head. "Now hold on" he turns on the main computer, types something in, then starts waving at me before he hits enter. It feels like a jolt of lightning hit my body as I'm looking down at myself from the computer monitor. Wait, how can I be in 2 places at once? "You still there? Good! You made it past stage one! Now I'm gunna run some diagnostics, kill the mainframe, and create some new little perks for your chip. In about 5 minutes, you'll be back to yourself". 5 minutes seemed like 3 seconds. I was awake now, and he was at the computer typing in moore things. I see a file with a man's picture on the front. I don't know who it is but it looks like he has the FBI running for their money. "Who's that?" Zimmer looks at me and says "that's one of the guys we're gunna find. I'll give you the coordinates" then I see a map flash in my head with his exact coordinates. "Blink 3 times fast to turn on thermal imaging" I do so. Holy shit! I can see 2 people on the building, looking like little fireballs. "Alright! Clark told me to give you something. Hold on" Zimmer reaches into his tech bag and pulls out a .40 cal pistol with a scope and extra clip, then hands it to me. "You're going to need this. This guy is wanted dead or alive. So if you get to him before the feds do, let's just say he's better off."
The Nomad pt 2
Detective Clark has a serious look on his face now. I could tell he was trying to keep calm, but the twitch from the side of his lip gave me the hint he was upset. "The thing is, you're just a run of the mill kid. I've checked out your file. Parents split when you were young, ward of the state, mental health facilities, etcetera. We needed someone expendable.... but also, someone who knows what it feels to want revenge. That's where you come in." He continues "You see, there's a cold case that has been bothering me for years.... so I talked with one of the doctors here that specializes in nanotechnology that just might help. Everyone who has tried to help, well, they disappeared and we had no way of tracking them or whoever caused them to.... well.... disappear." I'm taken back by this..... my body goes cold for a moment, the pain starting to return to my head as I process this information. I reach up again, in hopes that holding my head would help, and twitch in more pain as I touch the stitches. I hear a beep and the nurse enters. "Did you need anything?" "Uh, I di-" "Yes, our friend here is in pain. Can you give her something? I'd like to make her comfortable" says Clark. I didn't even notice the remote in his hand. He must have pushed the call button... A moment later, I'm in warm LA LA land as the pain melts away with whatever the hell was put in my IV. Thank God. I'm in for a ridiculous ride with this conversation. "Alright, I'll get straight to the point....." he sounds urgent now "I am doing this privately as a test run before I throw you to the big dog so to speak. I need your help. If we can somehow track down A perp, maybe the asshole that did this to you, and bring them to justice by using the nanotechnology in that chip to transmit audio and video, you would be invincible. Further more, you'll get full benefits, I'll give you a place to stay in the city, training, food, whatever you want. You'll have to undergo a test with my tech guy. He can hack that chip so you can see what you never thought was possible and stay in touch with us with voluntary thoughts." "Basically, you want me to be bait with benefits? " I scoff. He giggles at the idea then looks down at his hands. "Yeah, basically I've run out of options. You're my only hope. The perfect candidate. And I'll make sure an accident like this won't happen to you while you're working for me. What do ya say?" Fuck..... all because I had to run errands in the city... screw it. "Ya know, I've been through a lot of shit. But those bastards are about to go through worse. Count me in."
The Nomad
I don't know what I did to land myself here. I was simply going for a supply run in the city and headed home when the next thing I know, I'm strapped down to a hospital bed with handcuffs. There are flashes in my head. "Get out of the car" he said, so I complied. "What seems to be the problem officer?" I asked. "You were going over the speed limit. Trying to get somewhere in a hurry? Maybe trying to hide something. We're searching your car" he said. After the search he found a few things I had picked up from a local smoke shop in the city that I had used as a natural means to cope with anxiety and depression. "What the fuck is this? I knew you would end up being a dope head. Cuff her" he scowled. That's when it flashes. "Officer, let me explain! That isn't what you think it is, I swear it!" Then he threw me to the ground and whispered in my ear while his other was on guard "oh? And what do I think? Do tell me what I think, little dope head, and I'll Crack your no good skull on the cement". I started getting nervous. "It's natural oil from a shop I go to in town. It's legal in this state, non psychoactive, and helps with chronic illness. I don't see why you're putting titles to a perfectly natural thing. I'm not a dope head." He gets pissed. Looks to his deputy and nods. The deputy grabs my things out of the car then turns his back while the officer beat my head into the cement. Then he throws me against my car and tells me "why don't you just kill yourself you fucking low life? Hmm? Let me guess, you live in a Crack house in the middle of nowhere, barely any food, hole on the wall job or on welfare and your family hates you, right? Disgrace" then gets on his walky "I need backup. Suspect mid twenties threatening suicide after drug bust and...." mid sentence I screamed out then it goes dark...... Here I am. Strapped to a damn hospital bed, no idea where, with a pain in my temple, my right eye is swollen and I can't move. The door opens. "Nice of you to join us miss. My name is detective Clark, OKC department. I'm sure you don't know where you are. You're in Saint Anthony's hospital for the mentally ill. Two officers brought you in after you resisted arrest, which was two weeks ago. You've been in a coma." The amount of shock on my face must have triggered something because he continues talking "if it helps any, those two officers are under arrest. Apparently your cell phone recorded some incriminating evidence that foul play was involved. I'm guessing you didn't know it was recording?" I shook my head. I forgot my phone was in my pocket when I was pulled over. When he slammed me into my car, it must have hit the record button. Thank the technological gods! But.... wait..... I'm still handcuffed to the bed. Confused. Then the nurse walks in. "Ah, I see you're doing alright! You've been out of it for quite some time miss. Uh....." she fumbled through a folder "oh! You're probably wondering why you're here. We had to take you to surgery immediately. You've suffered some brain trauma...... so we took you into surgery. After the surgery, you were having some really bad seizures so we had to strap you to the bed. Once they stopped, we moved you up to this unit because our other care centers are unfortunately undergoing construction right now. Have no fear! You're not crazy!" She gave a dashing smile and took the cuffs off my wrists. Then she took my vitals, everything checked out and left the room. Detective Clark moves closer and sits down. "I know this may come as a shock, but you now have a metal plate in your head. As a personal safety, the government has started issuing data chips to be embedded in every civilian now. So, they decided to use current patients as a bit of a test run to see how things go. With that being said, you now have a data chip in your skull." I reached up where the pain was and sure enough, felt a little bump under the skin. "What...... what the hell does this mean?!"
February 20th 2017 I tried. I moved to elk city for a full month and a week and ended up losing myself in the process. So far from the noises of the city but also from my family. In all the times I've suffered, I never thought I would get set back to 7 years ago when I could barely move at all, but it happened. Finally, after confessing that I need help more than anything, my best friend tried her best but fell short and my mom stepped up. I'm not the kid I used to be, I can see that. But I'm still me. And all I ever wanted was my mom to understand and try to help. I know she doesn't know what to do, but she finally started research on how to help and I'm back in the city, ready to get back to being me. I'm sorry. I wished I was not like this at all. I wished I was normal like all the other kids. I wished I didn't have panic attacks, extreme depression, suicidal thoughts, hallucinations, ptsd from past experiences, and a disorder that's so hard to treat. I'm sorry I can't let go without help. I would do anything to be the person everyone was proud of. Driving back was the hardest thing I've had to do. Literally, I had to use ALL of my focus just to get here or end up in a wreck because it reached that point. And even though I've said so many horrible things, I'm so glad you're finally able to admit I need help as much as I believe so. I'm glad you're trying to help me. I'm glad you're not letting me go. I'm unsteady. And I need you for support. Thank you mom. I love you <3
I need to tell everyone about my best friend. In elementary school, we stuck together. She encouraged me to be myself and forget the ‘popular’ ones. She moved away, and I was so sad. We lost touch. 😟 I saw her again in high school; even more badass and amazing than ever. We became instafriends again. Through everything that’s happened in her life, she has remained phenomenal. I’ve never met someone so fun, awesome, strong, and wonderful. She’ll always be my best friend. 💜 Oh yeah, and she’s hot!🔥 Lmao. @xxvampanicxx
So this is my best friend. We’ve been through tough times with total assholes our entire lives but we always had eachother’s back in elementary school. Then I moved away. When I came back to finish high school, I saw her again for the first time and holy shit did everything change! We showed those bullies who’s boss by coming out with full forced gorgeousness and I’ll never forget seeing her again for the first time in years and it feeling like I never left in the first place. She’s the ONLY person who’s never left my side, never thought differently of me no matter what, never talked shit behind my back and never threw me away or used me after 18+ years of knowing eachother. That’s what makes her my best friend. Did I mention we’re hilarious together? We’re the dream team, and dreamy team. She’s gorgeous in every way possible and I wouldn’t ask for better! Love you girl
9-28-16
“He sat alone in his desolate room Filled with objects that entombed The emotions that he kept inside Should he reveal or just hide? And then a smile crossed his face That familiar sound makes his heart race That smile so bright, he could finally see Through the darkness, the ebony Those eyes so clear and filled with joy The moment he met that beautiful boy He knew for a fact it couldn’t be real For the first time in a while he could finally feel The warmth in his heart as they talked and smiled The looks and the laughter that drove them wild This boy is but a country away And so he looks forward to the day He can hold this handsome man in his arms Keep him there, safe from harm And smile together as they both slept Which is why I can say, I’m glad we’ve met”
-Taylor D Gates 5-17-16
Beautiful boy
She has hair the color of midnight, not quite a pitch black, something with a tinge of blue. Her fair skin is akin to that of angel cake, not a blinding white, but not with much color either. Her smile is a beacon in the night, and her lips supple like a rose blossom. Her eyes hold a kindness that can only come from years of pain. She surrounds herself with the macabre because that is who she allows herself to identify with. She is joyful, but late at night, when all is asleep the pain creeps in and she slips into another world, one of loneliness and darkness. And when she emerges, liquor tainting her breath; she is rugged, she is strong, she is anew. And there she beings, she faces the world with a new sense of authority, until night falls again.
Katy Credeur
A blog for all the BEASTS of tumblr. join The-Beast-Pack for some of the best motivational fitness content
My magical way of saying fuck you to every girl, guy, human being who’s shoved a dagger in my back. First shot was a bullet to the head. Nothing like target practice to get steam out after work.
Don't pay no mind to your demons They fill you with fear
Some song stuck in my head
Samhain. A very religious come to earth experience indeed. I met someone new but I've been talking to her for a little bit. I finally met her tonight at a glass shop. She makes pendants in her spare time to keep her mind off things. Today she lost a friend and I knew I could do something to help so she tagged along with myself and my brother until 1am. She wore my trench coat. My hoodie. My hat. Everything but my shirt. She played my guitar in the park and she sang along to what little songs I could play. She challenged me to music and philosophy. I took her to my cemetery and she was happy there in the night like someone who has just been hugged my nature herself. I can't say that I wasn't happy the entire time. I was bold and I took action when nobody else would. She saw my apartment, we helped my brother finally get that girl's number (I was the one who finally did it) and we had a blast. I will never forget the day I met you in person. And thank you for leaving this gift in my pocket for me to cherish the memories. Thank you for hugging me and making me feel like I'm not alone anymore. Thank you for being my new friend. I admire you completely for being so strong. Happy Halloween