My name's Ashleigh and I'm just one of many in the RPH community.
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How to Write About Something You’ve Never Experienced
I’ve seen this question floating around here, so I wanted to tackle it on this blog. There are a lot of things that we write about that we might not have personally experienced and it can be difficult to find the right emotions. Whether you’re writing about love, loss, terror, etc.—it’s important you find a way to dig deep and put yourself in the minds of your characters. So, how do you do this?
I’ve seen people focus on love in particular. If you’ve never been in love, how do you write about it? How do you create a love interest that’s believable? How do you write about a relationship if you’ve never had one? The important thing to remember is that we’ve all had relationships…even if it hasn’t been a romantic relationship. We’ve all cared about someone, even if we haven’t necessarily loved them. It’s hard to define “love”, so it can be hard to tell if we’ve actually experienced it. However, you can pull from your personal relationships—do you have a mother you care about? A father? A brother or sister? Did you ever have best friend or a grandparent who you loved? Feelings of love can come from anywhere; you just have to shape your experiences to fit your story. Most of us know what it’s like to care about someone. You just have to find a way to intensify your own emotions and put them in your writing.
Here are a few tips for writing about emotions you’ve never experienced:
Try to uncover the closest experience you’ve had to the one you want to write about. For example, if you’ve never lost someone, try to think about loss in a different way. Have you ever had a friend that you cared about that just stopped being friends with you? That’s still loss. If you’re writing about the loss of a parent, you don’t need to have experienced that to write about. Think about any other loss you’ve experienced and use those emotions to remember what it feels like. Writing is an emotional process, but you can use those feelings to create something amazing.
Build on what you know. I’m not going to say write what you know because obviously you’re trying to write what you don’t know, but you can build on your own experiences. You might not know about being a wizard and going to school, but you do know about going to school. Take your own experiences from school and add the fantasy elements to it. You can do this with any situation in writing. This will help your writing stay relatable and realistic.
Draw from someone else’s experiences. Most of us have been around a person who has gone through a particularly rough (or great!) time. We’ve seen someone else lose someone they love, we’ve seen someone go through a break-up, or fall in love. Chances are you remember how they acted or how they got through that experience. Maybe they opened up to you about it or helped you understand their situation in some way. You can use these emotions in your writing, even if you’ve never had them yourself. Writing is a lot about observing other people, so use those skills.
Hey so... You don't know me but it's your birthday tomorrow [where I am, anyways] so have a happy day<3 ~Nonnie
Ohmygoodness. I'm not entirely sure how you know it was my birthday and I got it really late but that's my own fault for dropping off the world but this is really cute. I'd like to talk to you, anon, if you want to come off anon, because this is cute.
So I think someone should do a picspam of all the characters that have died on Supernatural, not including the monsters, unless, like the Leviathans, they were given some sort of storyline before just the ep they die in. It should have a picture of the character from sometime in the ep before their death. The Winchesters would be on that list like fucking ten times or something.
Hi beautiful! You are one of the kindes RPHs that I know, and that is both from personal experience and from watching you. I helped you (I won't say how, because that would ruin anon) and you were immaculately polite and I strive every day to be as sweet and kind as you are, beautiful misses. You shine brighter than the stars and you light up the sky better than the sun ever has a hope of. You are running the sun out of a job! Running out of characters, but there will never be enough. <3
Ohmygod. I just - I don't even have words. This is so kind.
Sebastian returned from his daily run and showered quickly. He had overslept a bit and is down to the minute schedule that went with his twice-weekly therapy appointments. He dressed in several layers against the winter air and fumbled with the strap of his helmet on his way out of the building. He arrived, miraculously, with three minutes to spare. He could honestly say that this outcome surprised him greatly.
Up the steps he went, stopping at the receptionist for barely a moment before sitting in a large, overstuffed chair that he really loved. It was comfortable and relaxing. It was something that he legitimately took a small pleasure in every time that he came into the office. His eyes shut for a moment, his head leaning against the wall behind the chair.
“Sebastian?” His therapist’s voice was small but it had a commanding air to it, as it always had. She was dressed neatly as usual, her blonde hair drawn back also as usual.
He opened his eyes and stood, stretching slightly before picking up the helmet from the ground next to his feet. Sebastian gave her a small smile. “Good morning, Dr. Ashby.” Although she had encouraged him to call her by her first name, he felt weird doing so. “Good morning, Sebastian.”
Dr. Ashby took her place in her rocking chair and he took his place in another armchair. He crossed his ankle onto his knee and sat in silence for a minute. He was always the one to speak first once the door was closed. The topic of the day was always his decision initially. Sometimes she steered the conversation in a direction she wanted but where they started was never her choice.
“I want to talk about my father today,” he stated simply, breaking the silence. If the woman was surprised, it didn’t show. Sebastian had yet to figure out how to read the woman’s face; he was beginning to think he never would. He had said minimal things to her about his father thus far. She knew that he was a lawyer and that they didn’t have the best relationship, but she didn’t know anything about the extent of the senior Smythe’s discontent with his son.
“What do you want to share with me?” she asked him evenly. She rarely had any inflection at all in her voice. Sebastian thought he’d probably make a lousy therapist. His face always betrayed his emotions and if he somehow managed to avoid that, his voice went ahead and did it instead.
“He wants me to be his reincarnation or something.” Sebastian’s mind quickly took him back to the night before he had called Quinn.
“Oh, I thought Mom was going to be here.”
“Why? Avoiding me?”
“Of course not, Dad,” he supplied smoothly.
“That’s good to know. Maybe you can tell me a bit about your classes. And about why my good friend Dr. Charles Laugherty hasn’t seen you even on his roster yet.” Sebastian’s voice caught in his throat. He couldn’t speak, couldn’t say anything, couldn’t defend himself. “Goddamnit, Sebastian! Did you think I wouldn’t find out eventually? How were you going to keep this from us?”
His father’s eyes were glittering with anger. Sebastian wasn’t sure that he had ever seen his father quite so blindingly mad. Then again, he had never done anything to make his father angry with him. He had always followed directions and plans.
“Is it because you’re some scared little fag? You’re probably studying something useless like pottery or music or some gay shit like that.” Sebastian’s face paled quickly.
“Y-you know that -“
“That my son’s a fucking homo? Yes. Were you ever going to tell us that one, Sebastian? Did you ever think for a second that we wouldn’t care? That maybe we would have supported you? Would have liked to meet your boyfriends like normal parents? Or did you think we’re stuck in the goddamn stone ages where reproducing was the only means to survival so shoving your tool up some other guy’s ass was counterproductive?” There was no reply. He didn’t know what to say. Sebastian’s head was spinning and he was staring at the floor, trying to get some grasp of reality. “Answer me, damnit!”
He lifted his eyes to meet his father’s. “That’s not why I didn’t tell you.”
“Then why not?”
“Because you never had to tell your parents you were straight.”
“That’s because being straight is normal, Sebastian.” He stopped short, his eyes softening for the slightest moment. He seemed to recognize his mistake but he was still livid over the fact that he had been lied to. “So what are you studying?” he continued, his eyes shining with contempt and his voice hard once again.
“Business and hospitality,” Sebastian muttered, dropping his gaze to the floor once more. He wasn’t sure why he was so ashamed of this. Probably because he had let his father down, a feat he hadn’t yet accomplished. Sure, he had been letting his father down the entire semester, but that was different. He hadn’t had to see his father while he was doing it.
“Really?” He could hear the surprise in the other man’s voice. He had clearing been expecting his son to say something more worthless. Business was at sort of respectable in his father’s eyes.
Or so he thought.
“What about our dreams, Sebastian? What about our plans? You can’t take over the law firm that Tasha and I built from the ground up with a degree in business.”
“My dream isn’t law, Dad!” Sebastian snapped, finally looking up at the other once again. This time, his eyes were bright with fear, and anger, and maybe even a bit of hate. ”My dream is to get out of this fucking hell hole. The entire damn city. I want out of here. Away. Gone. Forever.”
The look on his father’s face went from one of surprise to one of utter rage.
“Get the fuck out of this house. And don’t you dare come back until you’ve decided that law is your goddamn dream.”
“My mom wasn’t too pleased with that, of course. She let me come back when my dad was out. I went to see her a few times,” Sebastian concluded, finally out of the grasp of the horrible memory. It made him want to go find his razors and open a few of the scarred lines on his arm once again. But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t let himself down. Not this time.
He looked back up to Dr. Ashby, his eyes full of determination.
“And that’s the last you spoke to your father?” she asked him. He simply nodded in response. He felt that words were unnecessary and having just shared so many words with the woman, a nod was sure to suffice. The woman glanced down at her watch and arched an eyebrow. It was the closest thing to emotion that Sebastian had seen her express. “We’ve only got a few minutes left, Sebastian. Would you like to elaborate on that any further?”
Surprise was evident on his face, he was certain. They had spent forty-some minutes teasing all the details out of him? He hadn’t really thought that it would take so long. It was something that he wanted to talk about so he had been more forthcoming with details than usual but apparently that wasn’t really a factor.
With a shake of his head, he replied. “No, not right now. Can we pick up there next time though?”
“Of course we can. You know that by now, surely?” Her tone was slightly questioning but he didn’t feel there was a question to be answered.
Sebastian stood once again, gathering his helmet before heading towards the door. “Thank you, Dr. Ashby. Have a good day,” he said, pausing and turning to face her from the doorway.
She glanced up from the notes that she was jotting down. “You’re welcome. I hope your day is well, too.”
With that, he exited the office and made his way to his physics class.
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Ok, why is everyone losing their shit about bringing attention to the RP world?
We're not a bunch of crooks and cons trying to destroy the world. We're not something to be ashamed of.
Let's face it, any serious writer that has ever been on the internet, has probably, at some point, in some form, come into contact with RP and already knows about it. The people that aren't writers and consequently wouldn't care to join, still aren't going to join. They're not going to be like, "oh, hey, I think I'll waste my time on the internet and ruin someone's afternoon by applying for this RP." No. That's not how people work. I mean, it's how some people work but I'd say that number is pretty damn small. It's a small documentary. It's not going to be the next Supersize Me.
I just really don't understand what the big deal is. Do I like the idea? Yes. Will I participate in the production of it? Probably not because even with the magic of the internet I still don't really have the means to do it.
But really, I'd say at least 95% of the people that are interested in being a part of the RP world already know about it. And the other 5% will probably find it with or without this documentary anyway.
I always want to know what my anons thought of my answers but they're just gone. Off into the abyss. Never to be heard from again. And that makes me a sad panda.
What are your top 10 male FCs that you would like to see more of in the RP tag (preferably in their late teens to early 20s)?
Ok so I don’t frequent the RP tag so I’ll just list my 10 favorite male face claims.
Kevin McHale - He’s on Glee and I know a lot of Glee faces are super popular but I feel like I never seen his face anywhere! He’s 27 but he plays a high school senior on Glee. Take that as you will.
Jake Abel - He’s a Winchester. Well, a dead one, but still. I like his face. He’s 25 and a lot of his roles are younger than that so I think he could go for early 20s.
Josh Peck - This kid grew up well from his Disney days, in my opinion. I think he’s both not well known and looked down upon because people hear his name and think of Drake & Josh and Disney (but come on, you know you loved that show). He’s 26.
Nathan Kress - Ok, apparently I like Disney faces. I have no idea why so many people have such a huge problem with them, though. Moving on, because that’s something else. Oh, hey, he’s the same age as me, which means that he’s 20.
Corbin Bleu - Again with Disney. He’s 23 and I have a major soft spot for this man.
Kevin Zegers - I don’t know if I like him because he’s playing my favorite Shadowhunter in the upcoming TMI movie but he looks a lot younger in the trailer than his 28 years.
Jamie Campbell Bower - I literally have no idea if he’s common or not but he’s 24.
Zac Efron - God, you’re probably judging me so hard right now for all the Disney but if you use stuff from his HSM days, you’ve got it made. He’s currently 25 and I’ve seen like two characters with his face maybe?
Daniel Sharman - Mostly I like his eyes. He’s 27.
Andrew Garfield - It surprises me that more people don’t use his face, I guess? At least, I don’t think many people use his face. Anyway. He’s actually 29 and sort of looks younger maybe?
That’s my list and you have no idea how hard it was for me to come up with ten guys I like that I know aren’t popular. I hope it helped at least a little bit!
