“I Pray You Put This Journal Away” Podcast about the Duggar Family.
This podcast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvN3-Dl5i78&t=270s on YouTube was posted in my group yesterday and it totally blew me away. The host was a friend of the Duggars back in 2004-2006 when the molestation scandals were blowing up the Duggar family and their church. I didn't learn a lot of new information here but what was a lot of strewn about pieces of a puzzle are completely put together in these podcasts. The host, Justin, puts it all together for us in a very articulate sensitive style. I appreciate his reaching out and explaining not only what went on in the Duggar home and in their church but the entire mindset of the fundamental Christians he grew up around and their damaging beliefs. There are three podcasts so far. The first one is two hours long but that flies by due to the wonderful presentation from Justin and his wife, Julia. I've only gotten halfway through the second and haven't touched the third one yet. I will recap them over the weekend. First 30 Minutes: Introduction to Justin, his journal and past beliefs.
30 Minute Mark: Justin starts talking about Josh working on the Jim Holt campaign. Holt was running for the US senate at the time. Josh had a big role in that campaign. Also about meeting the Duggars for the first time. 39 Minute Mark: First visit to the Duggars' home. He talks about the tiny home the Duggars lived with 15 kids at the time. That it was messy and smelled bad. How the little Duggar boys were wild and desperately wanted attention from Justin and his brothers. How the older Duggar boys built their own computers from parts Jim Bob got at auction. But Josh had an amazing new computer of his own. He had a state of the art Mac. Justin believes Jim Bob was investing in Josh's video interests. He should have invested in college instead. Justin's dad asks Josh about his computer, "What kinda filter you got on that thing?" and Josh did a visible gulp. Apparently Jim Bob didn't know about filters at that time that keep the naughty stuff out and Josh was having fun exploring. Justin mentions Josh as being very computer savvy.
51 Minute Mark: Josh working for Jim Holt and his betrothal. He says Josh and his girl weren't romantic and didn't seem to be all that into each other. It was an arranged betrothal between dads Jim Bob and Jim Holt. The conversation turns towards racism in fundamentalism which kind of explains these people's love for Trump and his white supremacist supporters.
1 Hour 1 Minute Mark: Justin talks about his crush on Jana Duggar. In his journal he writes that she is younger and shorter than him which were important factors for an up and coming patriarch. His monologue talking about his Jana crush is hilarious. Justin and Julia talk about how sexualized their environment was including the babies.
1 Hour 28 Minutes: Josh and his teenage porn habit. Jim Holt loses his campaign that Josh was working on and seeks a reason for his failure and decides to take it out on Josh who was caught viewing porn. It's the old "sin in the camp" copout. Sounds like Holt. He can't deal with his failures and reality so has to blame others. Justin believes one of the Duggar kids caught Joshy looking at porn and told Michelle. Josh was brought in front of the church. The church decided to send Josh to stay with a guy who may also have had a porn issue at one time to dig a pond. Josh lived in a shack, never saw anyone, had his meals dropped off, and worked all day. This was when Josh had his head shaved as shown in the moving special. He left the pond to appear in the episode and then was sent back. Josh spent weeks shunned in the woods all by himself. Every Sunday they would give a report on Josh in the church and the Duggar girls and Michelle would bawl. Justin didn't know at the time about Josh's history of molesting his sisters which was probably why Josh got such a harsh punishment. At the same time this was happening, TLC was at the Duggars filming a special about Johannah's birth. Justin says Josh's demeanor coming back from the pond digging was weird and shameless. Josh seemed unphased about his punishment. Justin talks about the TLC crew most likely knowing something weird was going on with Josh and the Duggars but ignoring it.
1 Hour 47 Mark: Justin talks about how men would confess their sins in church in a very weird and dark way. Most of the sins were about anger (domestic abuse) and lust and the other men would bless the sinner with canola oil. Sounds kinky. He talks about the men blaming their sins on Satan attacking them because they are important and worthy of attack. Quite a head trip. Justin talks about the tools the church members used to beat the children and how they bragged about what works best. He also talks about Anna Keller's dad visiting the church and preaching weird shit about Satan being the wizard in the Wizard of Oz. Jeez! I'm glad I was raised a boring Catholic.
I truly hope the Duggar kids listen to this podcast and begin to see the insanity they were raised in and get themselves a good ole board certified secular therapist. You can't go through what they did and not have some damaging residual effects. End of podcast one. The second one takes place the day after Josh was released from jail and Justin is really disturbed by the details or the charges against Josh as we all were.














