🍒𓋹𓁢𓂀˙⋆✮𝕯𝖆𝖓𝖎✮⋆˙𓂀𓁢𓋹🍒 @di4ph4nous2 - Tumblr Blog

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i wanna write my about my pain in such a way to when you read it you feel my emotion. id rather express my pain in a beautiful way rather than hurting myself physically, bc it hurts jus as much to reread it back -di4ph4nous

Been a while

It's been awhile and a lot has changed, not really lol. I graduated two weeks ago and moved in with my girlfriend in my college town. I haven't spoken to my mom since December when she kicked me out. No, she didn't tell me happy birthday or come to my graduation. But I do have conformation that she knows I graduated. I don't have a relationship with my grandma, my mothers' mom, but she reached out to me and congratulated me and told me my mom haven't been talking to her either. I'm not surprised, they've been on and off for al long as I can remember. As far as I know my mom only talks to one family member, her cousin. She pushed the rest of her family away on both sides.

I could write a book about my mom and her fucked up ways but this isn't what the post about so ima just move on.

I'm trying to get away from my job on campus and work at the thrift shop closest to me and where I live and it's full time and I like to sort and organize. The pay is shit but it will work until I can find a better job out there somewhere. Im gonna pay off my credit card and get a sewing machine and finally do all the things I said I would do/try. Im ready to grab life by the balls.

Yk I get so sad thinking about my mom but life goes on man. I literally went through college by myself and I still graduated without her being here. College was hard asf man deadass and I still made it through. And it was hard until the very end TRULY and that will be another separate post. But yeah man, life goes on. Im doing my best to keep me happy and safe and fulfilled in life.

supahguud

White Room, Red Ears

In a white room but my ears are red

Black skin but my ears are GLOWING red

Same pink tongue, same words are said

I respond to them, but to me nothing is said

Make no mistake my ears are red

Even though I smartly said what I said

A different twang, a different patter on speech

But no response

So my ears are red

They don’t know because my locs flow down

I answer questions with answer they do and don’t know

Even when they don’t know they sneer and ignore the truth

They don’t trust me and they are so uncouth

They said FUCK, IDIOT, SHIT, DICK

They scream, eyes all out their head

Veins, popping and pussing out their foreheads

Over being right, faces white and red

I speak sweet, shallow

Careful with what I share

But my ears are red

They don’t even know, I’m glad they can’t tell

But the reason they don’t is because they don’t care

What to prove, What to prove

I worked hard for my spot

But my ears are red, man my face is hot

I don’t stay silent, I fight through the dread

Keep kicking rocks, control, conquer

Push through advance

A silent, silent battle to keep my foot in the door, determined to never continue my mother’s path to poor

Blessed is my gift, so no tears shall shed

Thank god this brown skin washed over these ears when they’re red.

achillesinhighheels

Diana Ross 1977

sexandjeans

my best days are when i travel

moorumoi

tracesofsandalwood

via Vanessa Fraser on Flickr

supahguud

On the third year, I stood before you and kissed your cheek

I had spoken of bliss and joy, pure love

I speak of the same but on another plain

I have never felt a love so safe, fierce, and unconditional as I have come to feel and know from you

The Woman I Love

You are the master and the keeper of my heart

And you have earned that and more

You have spoken to me with such heightened adoration and attraction that sometimes I am left overwhelmed

You have learned me and seem as though you'd commit to learn for all the time to come

Ecstasy is the only way I can describe it

The utmost joy to know that someone as beautiful and tender as you has chosen me to be your love

You challenged despair, and you dared to love me

And you chose not to love for a season, but for all the years to come

You have helped me embrace myself with no shame, self-hate, or malice

You have given me the real you

which is my most prized and passionate treasure

If only a letter were enough to express my gratitude

If only a letter were enough to declare my love

I'll do it all the time, forever if you let me

I can only hope that when I say "I Love You," you feel all that comes with it

We are watching each other blossom

And we are loving every moment

Every Kiss, Every Smile, Every Touch, Every Breath

A new piece of us becomes present

For a lovelier world is built every day I am with you

forlornmusings

bansheestrikez

me when uhh...me when...

dkys

Don't spend too much time on things that are negative, even if they are true. Your outward reflects your inside, life is coming from you, not at you. If it's out of your control forget about it.

Accept that gift. accept that compliment.

I'm truly writing this for myself but I hope this uplift whoever it comes across especially if you're in your twenties.

There is no correct way to live. There is no race. There is no linear way to success and happiness. Make those mistakes, call out of work, do whatever you want just don't fuck over yourself in the process. Respect yourself because no one else will. Fuck those expectations, fuck everything that's tearing you down.

Get that tattoo, get that piercing, go to that concert. Run away. Make yourself happy. Read, make art, get out of bed, hell clean your room.

Live for yourself. If there's someone out there who you're seeking approval from and you've been try to for years, accept that you've failed and you'll never be able to. Move on. It's for your own sake. Save your own life, but if you need help pls ask the ones around you. People love you. I love you and the ones who love you the most you can visibly see that love. Don't overlook or dismiss that.

#i love you