Hi so my great grandma died the other day week Saturday morning around 1:30am. Today was her funeral which was crap because my mums family isn't talking to us for stupid reasons and we aren't talking to them. It wasn't very nice but I do miss my great grandma it sounds weird to type that because I never called her that. Um so yeah now my mums cousins are here from Sydney and their flight is at 5:30am so they will be awake at 4 and its now 1:15 and my neighbours are playing annoying music and I am sad. I have nothing new to report other than I can't remember the email account to my other blog right now so I am writing here. Tomorrow I am going to try and be happy and not let any negativity from the weird things make me anxious, I still don't know what I'm doing school wise. I just want to ride my bike and then sometimes I don't even want to do that. My mum starts a nursing school thing next week and it will be the first time she's back in full time work/study since I was 7ish. It will be a big adjustment for me learning how to be independent during the day and only seeing my parents when they finish work. I used to dream of that kind of stuff but now at 1am on a Thursday I am not sure how I feel about it or how I will cope in terms of getting myself motivated and the loneliness. My only real friend who I see now has gone to Beijing on some education thing her dad paid for and the other passed away last year from cancer so I have been alone for a while. It isn't something foreign to me I am just used to having my mum here everyday and now that she's not going to be here i just don't know how I feel about it anymore. I hope she likes it though, it's a big thing going and doing that for a year and I respect her a lot for it. I hope she enjoys it and makes friends and is happy. I hope I can stay happy and dad can and everyone else too. I don't want any more old people I know to die because soon there won't be any more left and being the youngest and constantly surrounded by them it will be another hard thing I will have to learn. Anyway I am blabbering. Have a nice sleep.