Strawberry Sigma™

professional human pillow, romanticist and sigma kin certified white-haired man kisser this is mostly a BSD blog but i'm silly and goofy so...

[diagonal-queen]

“𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭.”

Dia | 20 | she/they 🍉

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“𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬.”

[irlcinemakito]

i was listening to this song while thinking about mizi and i thought that was funny because it is pretty much the opposite of her. then i thought. i could totally see zombie stage showrunners making her sing something like it. making a girl who suffers because of all the attention shes getting sing to her predatory audience about how much she wants it and how it (and by extension that audience) is her only source of validation. And then i blinked and this was on my screen

[jesterph0bic]

miku in deltarune !! 🩵🩷

[maccaronisalad]

That fuzzy feeling

[temmiesky]

// DELTARUNE CHAPTER 5 SPOILERS!!

The seven flowers

🌼🩵💜🧡💚💛💙

[frejs-froggy-artblog]

Thank you Toby Fox for inventing gay people

[molabuddy]

MEW MEW 助けて!

[aloybecker]

Haven't posted this here yet

I like these guys

[bengustown-art]

collect my runes

[placeholdtv]

MYSTERIOUS WIND! ~

[squiddy-ink-s]

I need one million fics of them being in love NOW

[scribefindegil]

I was in a long-term relationship that fell apart partially because I was ace and my partner was very much not, and every time we looked for relationship help we got told that I was the problem. Not just that a significant mismatch in sexual desire could be a problem in a relationship, but that it was My Fault, Specifically, for not being willing to suck it up and have a bunch of sex I didn't want. To my ex's credit, he cared about consent much more than any of the professionals we talked to and refused to pressure me even when my (lesbian, billed as progressive and pro-LGBT) therapist was actively telling him to.

But it meant that we had absolutely no help or support when we were trying to work on the relationship in ways that *did* value my autonomy. There's basically no advice for people who want to try to make a relationship where there's a big desire gap work that isn't "well you should just have sex anyway" or "just break up lol". And that sucks!

Sometimes breaking up is necessary, and that's what ended up happening with us because there were other reasons we worked better as friends, but there *should* be better frameworks for discussing what people want and need that don't automatically assume that one partner's feelings are automatically more important or valuable than the other's.

[geese-in-flight]

I was dating someone who wanted to be accommodating and work with me to figure things out but lacked the EQ to do so in any effective way. It was my first relationship and I was still figuring out what being ace meant for me. It’s been eight or nine years, but I still remember very clearly the moment I realized we’d been approaching the entire discussion as if my orientation was the problem to be solved, and that it would be equally as valid to say that hers was.

She was significantly less impressed with this revelation than I was, but I tried to hold on to it ever since (although obviously the real problem wasn’t either one of us, but the mismatch and the lack of tools to deal with it). I think it’s super important to remember that we aren’t the ones in the wrong while our theoretical partners are the ones in the right. I was surprised by how much I’d internalized the assumption and I don’t think I’m the only one.

[ineffectualdemon]

The other frustrating aspect of this is allo relationships will often have periods of time where libido does not match (I'm not derailing and this will swing back to asexual people)

Just after giving birth, during a family crisis, during a mental health episode, during health problems, during stressful periods at work

There are a lot of times when one person is horned up and raring to go and the other has no interest

And the solution often presented is that the person who is going through something should just put out because they are the problem instead of like...finding ways to engage in non sexual intimacy to reaffirm closeness

An asexual person is going to get 10x the amount of pressure and blame put on them and no advice on how non-sexual intimacy can help their relationships and if they get that at all it will only be to sell it as a bridge to sex they don't want.

I really hate the selling of intimacy as only equaling or facilitating sex. Intimacy comes in many forms and should be explored more by every couple as a non sexual act. And it the given importance it deserves. In fact I would argue if we as a society put more value on non sexual intimacy more relationships would be happier and healthier

And asexual people would stop getting shit for being themselves.

[the-haiku-bot]

And asexual

people would stop getting shit

for being themselves.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[color-palettes]

strawberry cheesecake - submitted by jellyrainboots

#F61950 #F95E86 #FFACBC #FDF9F8 #FFEBDE

[lucinderist]

soft domestic mizisua cause they deserve it 💌 heavily referenced @/bermooli’s bubbline fanart for this one <3

[jesterph0bic]

it's ... me !! 🩷

[jesterph0bic]

if i made them into buttons, which shape should I pick for them !!

⭐ star shape !!

🩷 heart shape !!

⭐🩷 i like the star till & heart ivan

Voting ended onApr 19

(( please let me know if this is something you'd be interested in !! ))

[jesterph0bic]

♡