The Rosy Deep

🌷🎀 Poetry, Tarot and Astrology 🎀🌷 Sometimes I cry so hard, I fear I might flood the world

[transgender-harms-women]

                    Discover Radical Feminism                  

Radical Feminism:

Authors, Theorists, Ideologues:

Sheila Jeffreys

Janice Raymond

Gail Dines

Catharine MacKinnon

Andrea Dworkin

Andrea Dworkin has a lot of gender critical and anti-porn books. Bell Hooks is also a black woman who has written a lot of books, and her book Ain’t I A Woman deals specifically with the intersections of misogyny and racism. This page (http://radfemresource.tumblr.com/resources) also has numerous sources.

Hope this helps!

On systematic male against female violence:

Femicide: The Politics of Woman Killing (Anthology) , http://www.dianarussell.com/f/femicde%28small%29.pdf

THE ORIGIN AND IMPORTANCE OF THE TERM FEMICIDE

December 2011, written by Diana E.H Russell, Ph.D

Femicide – The Power of a Name

The Rise of Femicide: Can Naming a Deadly Crime Help Prevent It?, by  Aaron Schulman. The New Republic. December 29, 2010

On the issues that pornography presents feminists and ways we can challenge them:

Making Violence Sexy (Anthology), http://www.dianarussell.com/f/makingviolencesexy%28smaller%29.pdf

On the psychological and behavioral consequences of pornography consumption:

Ph.D Diana E. H. Russell, “Pornography & Rape: A Causal Model”. Vol. 9, No. 1 (Mar., 1988), Published by: International Society of Political Psychology.

Exposure to Pornography As a Cause of Child Sexual Victimization

Stolen Innocence: The Damaging Effects of Child Pornography- On and Off the Internet

http://cyber.law.harvard.edu/VAW02/mod2-6b.htm

The Price of Pleasure: Pornography, Sexuality, and Relationships (2007/2008), http://www.antipornography.org/Price_of_Pleasure_doc.html (Warning: censored nudity but some of the content remains graphic and disturbing. Potentially triggering).

Pornography FAQ (http://catwa.org.au/?q=node/67 ):

How is pornography related to prostitution?

Pornography and prostitution are often thought of as completely separate entities. In many parts of the world, this is even reflected in law where pornography and prostitution hold very different positions; pornography is often privileged as a form of ‘representation’. Pornography, however, is filmed prostitution. Both pornography and prostitution involve the sexual use of women in exchange for money. Often, the only difference between the two is the presence of a camera. Pornography can also be seen to increase the legitimacy of prostitution, by depicting the commercial sexual exploitation of women as entertaining, glamorous and acceptable. In addition, pornography is frequently used by pimps to ‘season’ or train women for prostitution and in a rather cyclical relationship, women used in prostitution are often also used in pornography.

Shouldn’t pornography be protected as free speech?

It is important to note that pornography is not speech but rather filmed acts of prostitution. Pornography is not merely the representation of sex acts, but involves the filming of real sex acts, performed by real people. Arguing that pornography is speech, ignores the realities of how pornography is actually produced and also ignores the harm to women that pornography both generates and reinforces.

Read: Only Words, by Catharine MacKinnon Isn’t porn just harmless sex?

There is no such thing as harmless pornography. Many people believe pornography to simply be sex between ‘consenting adults’ rather than understanding pornography as a multi-billion dollar industry. Pornography is not ‘just sex’, it is a particular construction of sex which involves the commercial sexual exploitation of women for the purpose of men’s sexual pleasure. Pornography harms both the women who are directly abused in the making of it, and also women as a group more generally. It promotes a model of sexuality which is incompatible with women’s equality.“[P]ornography plays an important part in contributing to sexual violence against women and to sex discrimination and sex inequality” - Catherine Itzin Pornography: Women violence and civil liberties. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1992 (p. 1).

Isn’t pornography a good sexual outlet for men?

The idea that pornography creates a useful sexual release for men, assumes that men have uncontrollable sexual ‘urges’ which require an outlet. It also assumes that pornography use is acceptable and healthy. Neither is the case. Pornography use is harmful to the women used in creating it, and pornography creates and reinforces harmful ideas about women, sex and sexuality; for example, that women enjoy or welcome unwanted sexual contact and sexual assault. Rather than reducing the likelihood that men will act out, it creates a culture in which women are increasingly objectified and viewed as commodities. Such a culture helps to fuel, rather than prevent, acts of sexual violence.

Doesn’t opposing pornography make you a prude?

Many people assume that the only reason to oppose pornography is because you find it personally ‘offensive’ or are ‘anti-sex’. Opposing pornography means that you oppose abusive sexual practices that harm women, not that you must oppose all sex. Nor does opposing pornography have to be about arguing that its content personally offends you. From a feminist perspective, it is not necessarily explicitness or the depiction of sex which is the problem with pornography. It is not about offence and decency, but about harm. “What is objectionable about pornography…is its abusive and degrading portrayal of females and female sexuality, not its sexual content or explicitness” – Diana Russell Dangerous relationships: Pornography, misogyny, and rape. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 1998 (p. 5).

What is pornification?

Pornification, sometimes referred to as pornographication or ‘raunch culture’ is the increasing distribution and acceptance of pornography as well as the fragmenting and blurring of pornography and pornographic imagery into popular culture. Pornography and pornographic imagery are infiltrating popular music videos, outdoor advertising, fashion and art to name but a few. While pornographication is sometimes viewed as simply the increasing acceptance of sexual themes in media, it is actually the promotion of a particular model of sex which is harmful to women. The mainstreaming of this type of pornographic sexuality which fundamentally objectifies women, is already harming the development of young women and girls. The American Psychological Association, for example, has linked the rise of this unhealthy model of sexuality to increases in mental health problems such as eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression. See: Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls (2007). Available from:http://www.apa.org/pi/wpo/sexualization.

Legalisation of Prostitution

Brothels without Walls: The Escort Sector as a Problem for the Legalization of Prostitution, bySheila Jeffreys 2010

What Happens When Prostitution Becomes Work? An Update on Legalisation of Prostitution in Australia. A paper by Mary Sullivan, 2005  (CATWA)  

Submission to New Zealand Parliament, CATWA 2003

Prostitution Culture: Legalised Brothel Prostitution in Victoria, Australia  Sheila Jeffreys 2002. Talk given at Swedish Ministry of Gender Equality Seminar on the Effect of Legalisation of Prostitution. Stockholm, 6 November 2002.

The Legalisation of Prostitution: A failed social experiment, by Sheila Jeffreys

Legalising Prostitution is not the Answer: The example of Victoria, Australia by Mary Sullivan and Sheila Jeffreys

Trafficking

Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking in Persons (2000) (Known as the Palermo Protocol)

A Guide to the UN Trafficking Protocol (2001)

Sex Trafficking and Human Rights

Marriage Trafficking  

Pornography and Pornification  

The global industry of pornography is growing rapidly. The business of pornography is now worth in excess of $57 billion worldwide. More than $10 billion is generated in the United States alone. Pornography is an industry which, like prostitution, makes its ever increasing profits from the sexual exploitation of women and girls. Women in both the pornography and prostitution industries suffer abuse and violence. Despite this grim reality, tolerance for pornography is increasing in Australia and many other Western nations. Through the ‘mainstreaming of pornography’ or ‘pornification,’ pornographic imagery and even pornography itself are gaining legitimacy and a degree of glamour and cultural chic. Porn stars are becoming household names, advertising mimics pornographic conventions and poses, and Playboy is not just a magazine but a global brand that markets everything from clothing to stationery. The mainstreaming of pornography is also changing our conceptions of sexuality. Women are increasingly becoming required to perform sex acts straight from pornography in their everyday heterosexual relationships, and the pornographic model of sexuality is harming girls’ and women’s concepts of self. As pornography continues to become more prominent and pornographic imagery becomes more ‘mainstreamed’ we become accustomed to living in a pornified world in which it is acceptable that women and girls can be bought and sold.

Boyle, Karen (ed). (2010). Everyday Pornography. Oxford: Routledge.

Dines, Gail. (2010). Pornland: How Porn has Highjacked our Sexuality. Melbourne: Spinifex Press.

Dines, Gail & Jensen, Robert & Russo, Ann. (1998). Pornography: The Production and Consumption of Inequality. New York: Routledge.

Dworkin, Andrea. (1979) Men Possessing Women. New York: Pedigree Books.

Long, Julia. (2012). Anti-Porn: The resurgence of Anti-Pornography Feminism. Zed Books.

Tankard Reist, Melinda & Bray, Abigail (eds) (2011). Big Porn Inc: Exposing the Harms of the Global Pornography Industry. Melbourne: Spinifex Press.

Tyler, Meagan (2011). Selling Sex Short: The Pornographic and Sexological Construction of Women’s Sexuality in the West. Newcastle upon Tyne: Cambridge Scholars Publishing.

Strip Clubs

Read CATWA’s indepth report on strip clubs in Victoria (2010).

The sex industry and business practice: An obstacle to women’s equality, by Sheila Jeffreys 2010

Jul 2014: Business women suffer discrimination because of the male executive culture of strip club visits.

Jul 2014: Executive director of UN Women Australia calls for zero tolerance of strip club visits

Dec 2010: ABC radio interview with Sheila Jeffreys on ’Why strip clubs are harmful to women and the community’. Includes transcript

Dec 2010: Corporate functions and Christmas parties at strip clubs

On the feminist activist struggles against woman-battering, rape, misogyny (Right Wing and Left Wing), gendered oppression, hatred of lesbians, prostitution, pornography, societal stockholm syndrome, female-only spaces and more.:

Letters from a War Zone, by Andrea Dworkin

Our Blood, by Andrea Dworkin

Right-Wing Women, by Andrea Dworkin

Pornography: Andrea Dworkin (1991) - Documentary

Pornography: Men Possessing Women, by Andrea Dworkin

http://radfem.org/dworkin/

Against Our Will, Susan Brownmiller

Femininity, by Susan Brownmiller

Rape In Marriage, Diana Russell

Women-Only Spaces: An Alternative To Patriarchy, by Jennie Ruby

Exploring the Value of Women-Only Space, by Kya Ogyn

Women, Health and the Politics of Fat, Amy Winter, in Rain And Thunder, Autumn Equinox 2003,   No. 20

Free Space: A Perspective on the Small Group in Women’s Liberation by Pamela Allen 1970 Download PDF

Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men’s Violence, and Women’s Lives by Dee Graham, Roberta Rigsby, Edna Rawlings 1995 Download PDF

Nothing Mat(t)ers: A Feminist Critique of Postmodernism by Somer Brodribb 1992 Download PDF

A deafening silence: Hidden violence against women and children by Patrizia Romito (translation by Janet Eastwood) 2008 Download PDF

Are Prisons Obsolete? by Angela Y. Davis 2003 Download PDF

Refusing to be a Man: Essays on Sex and Justice by John Stoltenberg 2000 2nd Ed. Download PDF

I Am Your Sister: Collected and Unpublished Writings of Audre Lorde ed by Rudolph P. Byrd, Johnnetta Betsch Cole, Beverly Guy-Sheftall 2011 Download PDF

Beyond the Frame: Women of Color and Visual Representation ed by Neferti X. M. Tadiar, Angela Davis 2005 Download PDF

Beauty and Misogyny: Harmful Cultural Practices in the West by Sheila Jeffreys 2005 Download PDF

The Spinster and Her Enemies by Sheila Jeffreys 1997 Download PDF

The Lesbian Heresy by Sheila Jeffreys 1993 Download PDF

The Industrial Vagina: The Political Economy of the Global Sex Trade by Sheila Jeffreys 2008 Download PDF

The Sexual Liberals and the Attack on Feminism Edited by Dorchen Leidholdt and Janice G. Raymond. 1990 Download Full PDF (5MB)

Liberalism and the Death of Feminism, Catharine A. MacKinnon (PDF)

Sexology and Antifeminism, Sheila Jeffreys (PDF)

Woman-Hating Right and Left, Andrea Dworkin (PDF)

Taking Our Eyes Off the Guys, Sonia Johnson (PDF)

Family Matters, Ann Jones (PDF)

Confronting the Liberal Lies About Prostitution, Evelina Giobbe (PDF)

The New Reproductive Technologies, Gena Corea (PDF)

Mothers on Trial: Custody and the “Baby M” Case, Phyllis Chesler (PDF)

Sexual and Reproductive Liberalism, Janice G. Raymond (PDF)

In the Best Interest of the Sperm: The Pregnancy of Judge Sorkow, Pauline B. Bart (PDF)

Abortion and Pornography: The Sexual Liberals’ “Gotcha” Against Women’s Equality, Twiss Butler (PDF)

When Women Defend Pornography, Dorchen Leidholdt (PDF)

Eroticizing Women’s Subordination, Sheila Jeffreys (PDF)

Resistance, Andrea Dworkin (PDF)

Sex Resistance in Heterosexual Arrangements, A Southern Women’s Writing Collective (PDF)

Toward a Feminist Praxis of Sexuality, Wendy Stock (PDF)

Sexual Liberalism and Survivors of Sexual Abuse, Valerie Heller (PDF)

The Many Faces of Backlash, Florence Rush (PDF)

Liberals, Libertarianism, and the Liberal Arts Establishment, Susanne Kappeler (PDF)

You Can’t Fight Homophobia and Protect the Pornographers at the Same Time—An Analysis of What Went Wrong in Hardwick, John Stoltenberg (PDF)

A View from Another Country, Susan G. Cole (PDF)

Women and Civil Liberties, Kathleen A. Lahey (PDF)

Be-Witching: Re-Calling the Archimagical Powers of Women, Mary Daly (PDF)

Not a Sentimental Journey: Women’s Friendships, Janice G. Raymond (PDF)

Femicide Fetishize female vulnerability Handmaidens of the patriarchy Harm reduction/refusal to name the agent Joke’s on women Male bonding over misogyny Male entitlement Mansplaining/women’s perspective is wrong Necrophilia Normalize abuse/neglect Normalize porn/prostitution PIV-centric narrative — Goal is to “land a man” — Normalize exaggerated/simulated female pleasure — Normalize reproductive stress and pain — Pathologize menstruation — Pathologize older women and menopause/fetishize female youth — Rape and rape culture Pornify girl children/infantilize adult women Primacy of the nuclear family Reversal Support patriarchal institutions (medicine/religion/law) Woman as “useful object”

Crimes Against Women: The Proceedings of the International Tribunal

On the feminist analysis of beauty standards and oppressive femininity: Beauty & Misogyny, by Sheila Jeffreys

On the feminist analysis of queer theory:

Gender Hurts, by Sheila Jeffreys

Unpacking Queer Politics Download PDF,

LibFem vs. RadFem views on Gender

On the feminist analysis of the sex industrial complex:

The Industrial Vagina Download PDF,

Big Porn Inc: Exposing the Harms of the Global Pornography Industry. (Anthology),

Accounting for Pornography, Prostitution, and Patriarchy. by Pala Molisa, PhD student,

Women, Lesbians, and Prostitution: A Workingclass Dyke Speaks Out Against Buying Women for Sex, by Toby Summer, in Lesbian Culture: An Anthology, Julia Penelope and Susan Wolfe,  eds

Not for Sale: Feminists Resisting Prostitution and Pornography, Christine   Stark and Rebecca Whisnant, eds.

Sex critical & Kink critical text:

Against Sadomasochism (Anthology)

Ten Lies About Sadomasochism, by Melissa Farley

Unleashing Feminism: Critiquing  Lesbian Sadomasochism in the Gay Nineties, by Irene Reti, ed.

How Orgasm Politics Has Hijacked the Women’s Movement, by Sheila Jeffreys

Intercourse, by Andrea Dworkin

Theological feminist criticism:

Beyond God The Father, by Mary Daly (1974)

Gyn/Ecology: The Metaethics of Radical Feminism, Mary Daly

The Gods and Goddesses of Old Europe, Marija Gimbutas

Woman, Church and State, Matilda Joslyn Gage

The Women’s Bible, Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Pure Lust, Mary Daly

On the feminist criticism of sexual liberalism:

“The Sexual Liberals and the Attack on Feminism” Anthology, (1987, edited 1990), http://radfem.org/the-sexual-liberals/

Incest: The Great Incest War: Introduction to The Secret Trauma

Making an Issue of Incest, Louise Armstrong (PDF)

Activism:

Lone Radical Feminist Actions

Best Strategies to Advance the Global Struggle Against Femicide

Feminists Threaten Larry Flynt: My Personal Contribution

Bin the Bunny. This is an anti-pornography campaign from London. It began in response the opening of a Playboy shop in 2007.

Object. A UK group committed to challenging the objectification of women.

No Porn Northampton. This site, based in USA, contains information about campaigns and many papers and resources relating to pornography.

Routes Out. This is a Glasgow based organisation founded to help women exit prostitution.

Turn Off the Red Light An Irish organisation working for an end to prostitution and sex trafficking in Ireland. It advocates the adoption of the Nordic Model.

Feminist Coalition Against Prostitution A UK coalition who believe that prostitution is male violence against women and are working to achieve Swedish style legislation. The site contains many useful links and resources.

Abolicion de la Prostitucion. This web site, in Spanish, was set up by a group of 77 women’s organisations to fight prostitution in that country.

Centre for Women’s Human Rights. This Korean feminist organistion was established in 2005.

The Polaris Project. Anti Trafficking organisation with a focus in Japan and USA

Websites with other resources (video clips, documentaries, quotes, articles, essays, interviews, graphics, etc): http://www.antipornography.org http://www.stoppatriarchy.org/ https://radicalhubarchives.wordpress.com/radfem-101/ http://www.feminist-reprise.org/fembib.html

[marimoes]

Thinking about how people say we shouldn't tell women the horrors of childbirth because it'll scare them and discourage them from having children and well, isn't that just arguing against informed consent?

[hydrogeneportfolio]

The complete ‘Women Who Changed Science - And The World" collection in honor of the 95th Women’s Equality Day.

Purchase Here!

[stillsoblue]

my heart bleeds everyday for the afghan girls and women. they are housebound and have to cover themselves up from top to bottom because they have to "avoid temptation or seduction". they are not allowed to speak in public or appear in public because it is deemed "too intimate." the women can’t look at men. suicide rates have skyrocketed because women and girls would rather be dead than to be a women in afghanistan. it’s not a sin to be a women.

women and girls are denied access to healthcare because they cannot be treated by male doctors, yet they are also barred from education and, therefore, cannot become doctors themselves. shops in afghanistan are even forced to cover up female mannequins. little girls live in fear of becoming child brides, but they dream of being poets, they would kill to get education.

a woman was disqualified from the olympics because she spread the message "free afghan women" at her breakdance performance. there must always be a relative male by their side like women were dogs being treated by their owner, except dogs have more rights than the women suffering.

we must raise awareness, do not look away. these women deserve the opportunities and the human rights that EVERY person does. they are talented, creative and intelligent but men are so scared. scared of women. the taliban tries to erase women. i’m sick. remember: it’s not islam or "just their culture", it is the radical government that feels threatened by women. do not look away.

[pisceanpharies]

Prostitution is not a job and never will be. Here’s why. | Nordic Model Now!

By Dana Levy Can prostitution be a normal job? Sex trade apologists claim that ‘sex work is work.’ Some of them say: “We just need a prope

[herst0rryteller]

On March 31st this year, Pakistan is deporting Afghan refugees en masse. Among them are 60 activists who advocated for the rights of women and children. For them, returning to their homeland is literally a death sentence, because they will be tortured and sentenced to death or imprisonment.

Since the Taliban returned to power, many women's rights activists have been arrested, tortured and sexually abused in prison simply for standing up for their basic rights.

These acts of cruelty are intended to instill fear and silence those who dare to speak out.

In order for Afghan refugees not to be deported, in other words, they must be accepted by other countries. Therefore, our task is to increase public pressure for governments to take action.

❓What needs to be done to help women in Afghanistan?

You are required to spread the news and petition and make sure that as many people as possible talk about it.

One girl divided the help into 2 categories depending on the possibilities. They list the actions you can take.

📝 Category 1:

☑️ sign the petition;

☑️ distribute it among your friends;

☑️ tag all the bloggers you know under it.

📝 Category 2:

☑️ record videos about this petition and news;

☑️ write written appeals to bloggers and bloggers in different social networks;

☑️ write written appeals to the media (any media have contact information, which will include an email for suggestions. Write a text or copy a finished one and send it to them with all the materials);

☑️ write appeals to activists, human rights defenders;

☑️ write articles, make posts on your social networks (even if you have few subscribers - this is still distribution. Thanks to you, a person with connections in the media can find out about the situation).

❗️Distribution in other languages ​​is especially valuable! If you speak foreign languages, please distribute the information in them too!

You are required to distribute, and more serious actions will be taken by activists who have connections, resources, etc.

But understand - until enough people talk about this, activists are almost powerless! Public influence has helped in many stories, so let's do everything to ensure that it helps in this one too!

link to petition: https://www.change.org/p/save-60-afghan-women-leaders-from-imminent-deportation

Sign the Petition

SAVE 60 AFGHAN WOMEN LEADERS FROM IMMINENT DEPORTATION!

[saywhat-politics]

[mj-iza-writer]

I will always reblog this....it is so important to be able to give them access to help. As a writer I fully support this

[mencanfckrightoff]

Women’s rights aren’t enough. I want women’s revenge. I want every man to feel the weight of every injustice they’ve ever put on us. I want them to wake up every day knowing the world is no longer built for them. That’s the only ‘equality’ I care about.

[sichorean]

"I read Jancee Dunn's book the night after I'd hidden in the bathroom, silently sobbing into a towel so I wouldn't wake the baby—or my husband, who was sleeping through his third consecutive night shift that I was somehow pulling alone, despite us both working full-time. I wasn't crying from exhaustion. I was crying because I had just calculated how much child support he'd have to pay if I left him.

This isn't a book. It's a goddamn mirror reflecting the darkest thoughts of every mother who's ever fantasized about abandoning her family at 3AM, not because she doesn't love them, but because she's drowning and her partner is standing on the shore checking his phone.

The Maternal Rage You Feel Isn't Mental Illness—It's Mathematics Dunn ruthlessly quantifies what most parenting books politely ignore: the raw numerical inequality of modern parenthood. When she tracks hours spent on childcare (her: 35 weekly, him: 9) while both work full-time, it's not anecdotal—it's violence. The liberation comes in recognizing your homicidal thoughts aren't hormonal or "crazy"—they're the rational response to systemic theft of your time, sleep, and identity while someone who claims to love you watches from the sidelines.

The "Mental Load" Isn't Just Unfair—It's Killing You Cell by Cell What devastated me wasn't just Dunn's account of doing everything—it was her scientific exploration of what invisible labor does to a woman's brain and body. The constant vigilance of tracking every family need doesn't just make you tired—it restructures neural pathways, elevates cortisol, and accelerates aging. When her doctor finds her blood pressure dangerously high while her husband's remains perfect despite their supposedly "shared" stress, the physiological consequences of inequality are laid bare. You're not imagining it—this imbalance is literally shortening your life.

Your Husband Isn't Just Annoying—He's Been Systematically Trained to Disable You The book's most chilling insight comes when Dunn investigates how her competent, intelligent husband develops "strategic incompetence" around domestic tasks. Her research reveals it's not accidental—it's subconscious warfare honed through generations of male socialization. The weaponized helplessness ("Where does this go?"), the learned blindness to mess, the performance of bumbling assistance—these aren't personality quirks but sophisticated tactics to maintain privilege while appearing supportive. I'll never hear "just tell me what needs done" the same way again.

The Fights You're Having Aren't About Chores—They're About Human Worth Dunn's epiphany comes not in cataloging tasks but in recognizing the existential question beneath them: whose time and peace matter? When her husband unthinkingly preserves his exercise routine while she hasn't showered in days, when he sleeps through night wakings because he "has work" (as though she doesn't), when he requires praise for basic parenting—the underlying message is that his humanity outranks hers. This reframing transformed how I understood my own marriage's breaking points.

You're Not Control-Freaking—You're Preventing Catastrophe The section that left me breathless was Dunn's dissection of "maternal gatekeeping." Her therapist suggests she's "not letting go" of child-rearing tasks—until she documents the actual consequences of her husband's cavalier parenting: a toddler left in soiled clothes for hours, forgotten medications, a child nearly hit by a car while dad texts. The gut-punch: sometimes the "perfectionist mom" narrative masks legitimate terror of what happens when the backup system fails. I've never felt more vindicated about my inability to "just relax."

Romance After Children Requires Blood Sacrifice—Usually Yours Dunn's unflinching examination of post-baby intimacy problems goes beyond fatigue to something darker: the resentment poisoning attraction. Her account of faking interest while mentally calculating how many hours of sleep she's losing made me physically flinch with recognition. The breakthrough comes not through date nights or lingerie but through radical redistribution of invisible labor. Her documentation of how performing oral sex feels easier than asking for help with dishes exposes how parenthood turns sex into another form of female emotional labor.

The Solutions Aren't Cute—They're Nuclear What elevates this beyond primal-scream therapy is Dunn's scorched-earth approach to reconstruction. She brings in hostage negotiators. Corporate efficiency experts. Therapists who specialize in high-conflict divorce. The message is clear: half-measures will fail. Her implementation of NASA's black box system for critical communication during arguments saved not just her marriage but possibly her husband's life. This isn't about better chore charts—it's about dismantling and rebuilding the entire operational system of your relationship.

This book should be handed to every couple in the delivery room, not as celebration but as warning. Dunn doesn't offer gentle suggestions for reconnecting with your spouse—she offers battlefield triage for the psychological trauma that parenthood inflicts on females and marriages."

This book is on my list of books that will forever change how you look at the actions of men (along with "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft and others)

I heartily recommend it, even if you don't have or want kids, if you work with women in a mental health or healthcare setting.

[herst0rryteller]

Flowers are better than bullets

Surely you’ve heard this slogan somewhere. Or we read similar inscriptions on the walls, or maybe even saw one of Banksy’s works - «The Flower Threwer». Today, this phrase is a global anti-war slogan. It belongs to the brave 19-year-old activist Allison Krause. More than 50 years ago, she was killed during a protest by Kent University students against the U.S. military operation in Cambodia.

But who was Allison Krause? A student with an active civic position, one of the best in the course, a graduate of John F. Kennedy High School. She went to the rally «Students for a Democratic Society» and a march against the Vietnam War. After Nixon signed the decree on the military operation in Cambodia and the beginning of the protests, Allison was particularly outraged by the words of Governor James Rhodes at a press conference, who called the protesters «the worst type of people we sheltered in America».

According to the main version of the events of May 4, 1970, Allison started talking to one of the soldiers named Myers, who arrived to disperse the protesters. The military, answering the girl’s question about what he was doing from here, said that he did not want to be cordoned off, but was following the order. Krause tore off a lilac branch and stuck it into the muzzle of Myers’ rifle. Soon the senior officer forced the soldier to take out the flower and threw it away. To this, Allison shouted:

«Flowers are better than bullets!»

How exactly Allison died is unknown. We only know that at first the girl and her boyfriend Barry were away from the protesters, and during the spraying of tear gas they tried to escape from the soldiers to the dormitory. The security guard did not open the door to the group of students. Then the protesters still managed to hide in the building, but soon the U.S. National Guard started shooting - the bullet passed through Allison’s left hand and damaged the internal organs. The girl passed away a few hours later.

The next day, the shooting of unarmed students at the University of Kent was talked about in all the American media, mentioning Allison’s phrase “Flowers are better than bullets”.

Soon these words became the main international anti-war slogan.

A few days after the tragedy, on May 9, more than 100,000 people took rallies against the war in Cambodia in Washington (District of Columbia). Demonstrations were also shown in other universities, not only by students, but also by teachers and professors.

[misandriz]

Hindu traditions and festivals just enslave women and reinforce patriarchal practices, karwa chauth for example, a festival where a married woman has to fast and stay famished for whole 24 hours, NO water and food and some of them don’t even swallow their own saliva and why? for the long life and well being of her husband. Husbands are placed on a pedestal in hinduism, he is more revered than god sometimes while reducing women to obedient and self sacrificing caretakers . It reinforces the idea that a woman’s purpose revolves around a man’s needs, his health, his happiness, his survival while her own identity and agency is considered as irrelevant. In this religion women’s existence will always be tied to men and are expected to embrace such misogynistic ideals or else she’ll be labelled as a “too westernised housewife” or other names they love calling when you go against the system

[progressivepower]

http://dlvr.it/TLGJLb

[lookataleaf3000]

my religion is other women. this isn’t tongue in cheek. my religion congregates around a fire, in a cramped room we booked to talk, in an idling car for way too long, in someone’s living room, in the cold because there’s more to say and hear. there is a spark of divinity i know to look for when she says something she’s never said out loud before. there is a spiritual rumble in the dehydrated voices of women who aren’t used to saying so much. when i hear another woman articulate something i’ve never been able to, that’s the voice of my god speaking to me. its ancient, forbidden knowledge, and it fills my body with my self. there’s power in our warm red blood.

[scarresources]

Due a URL change- the old ‘self care after rape: a masterlist’ is no longer useable. If you reblogged that one- the links don’t work, try this one instead.

The Basics:

What is Rape?/Types of Rape

Common Responses to Rape/Sexual Assault(ppt)

Survivors and the Doctors Office

Traumaversaries

Why You Aren’t Bad for Loving Your Abuser.

Teaching Consent

How to Talk About Trauma:

Talking About Trauma (ppt)

Talking About Trauma (to others)

What if they don’t believe me?

Processing New Information on Old Hurts.

If Not Rape, Then (On what to call it when you’re not ready to use the word rape)

Need Help With:

But How Do I Get Over It?

Reifying Happiness

Sleep

Nightmares

Dreams and Trauma: Frequently Asked Questions

Surviving the Holidays (ppt)

Overstimulated Nerves

Self-Injury (ppt)

Flashbacks (ppt)

Panic Attacks

Making Peace With the Emotion Monster

On Holding Anger for Attackers

Processing Emotions: Anger

Disordered Eating, What it is and What you can do about it.

Admitting Weakness

Hygiene

Regression

Self Invalidation

The But Series! (About various strands of Self Invalidation.)

Finding Coping Mechanisms that Work

Effective Alternative Communication

How To Tell Your Therapist - About Almost Anything

Planning to See An Abuser

The Follower Collaborative Series:

Coping With Flashbacks

Triggers:

I’m triggered- Now What?

More On Triggers

On Purposely Triggering Yourself

Getting Over Triggers

De-triggering Abuser Names.

Reclaiming a Space

Boundaries:

Boundaries (ppt)

Boundaries 101

Boundaries: How to set them

Survivor+Survivor: Boundaries

Self-Care:

What is Self Care Anyway? (ppt)

BACE Method

BACE Method (now with venn diagrams.)

Self Care When You Lack a Sense of Self

Interpersonal Self-Care

Emotional Self Care

Physical Self Care

How to Do Self Care When You Only Have A Little Bit of Time

Self Care For Cold Weather

Self Care + Trauma Work

Consent/sex:

Intimacy After Rape

Lets Talk Consent

Lets Talk Sex

Sexuality After Rape

Using Sex as Self Harm?

Teaching Consent

Posts about Suicide:

Talking about Suicide (why we want to blame the suicidal and why we shouldn’t)

Don’t Call Suicide Selfish

Suicidal Ideation

For Friends/Family/Partners of Survivors:

How to Help a Friend Who Has Been Raped.(ppt)

How to Help a Friend Who Has Been Through Trauma

Avoiding Awkward- How to talk about rape when we talk to survivors.(ppt)

Sometimes the easiest thing to say is the worst.

How to Listen to Trauma Stories

Being Family/Friends isn’t an excuse.

A Friend is Self Harming (ppt)

Comfort In. Complain Out.

What Can I Do?

Reality Checks

Why ‘Just Leave’ Just Doesn’t Work

Misc:

Acute Inpatient: A brief overview

Studying Tips

[antifaboxingirl]

8 march 2017 - feminist protest - Vienna

[hadesoftheladies]

“no hope for women” is genuinely absurd to me. it reveals an androcentric worldview that simply doesn’t belong in feminism. like one one hand, yes, men have been ruthlessly sadistic toward women for millennia. absolutely. but some of you genuinely have little to no acquaintance with women’s history and political work. the nuances to political life for women in different regions and points in history. you are so cut off from women’s history, you have delusions of somehow being the first generation of women to “get it.” there’s so much women have done and are doing around the world. and they keep winning, btw. like the struggle might be eternal, but the progress is also evident. women globally go to school and work now. like in industrial places, that’s the NORM. do you know how fucking huge that is? compared to a lot of pre-industrial history? for fuck’s sake!

also, men would not be scrambling to maintain power so brutally if women have always been easy to subdue. men would not be so desperate to police feminist language if they were not so deeply ashamed of themselves and afraid of those voices. when we say men are human, we mean men are not impassable beings. they are capable of guilt because guilt is a human mechanism. they are so deeply guilty, that they scream and whine when you call them “pedophile” or “rapist.” that to me is one of their greatest defeats. that they must and will be forced to acknowledge the shame they feel for being failed human beings. that the economic threshold has changed for all of us in the advent of technology and even globalism. how human beings think has been evolving for centuries because of the space we occupy at this point in time.

It does not guarantee a utopia. but to be so despondent when women have the means to liberate themselves? when the odds have never been more in our favor? it just shows how isolated so many of you are from the culture. because you think that you’re the only ones awake or struggling and that’s just not true. isolation is how you kill your spirit and most of you would realize how much power you have if you just decided to MOVE with other women or to start moving and pull women along. I am not part of a feminist organization as of yet, but I have been deliberately consciousness-raising and community-building with women who at one point NEVER used to think like me but are now talking about living with their female friends instead of marrying a man, or deliberately opting out of motherhood, or co-parenting with women. radblr is not the last frontier of feminism. it’s the fucking beginning for so many of us. you are far too aware of the violence of men and not the victories of women and that has to change.

bless ✌🏾

[arlesiana-deactivated20171105]

It is not your job, as a female, to heal men in any way. You should not be tied to someone because “without you, he would be lost”. A relationship should be based on both parts caring about each other and being happy for being in that relationship, and not on a woman sacrificing her own life in order to take care of a male ass.

We are not your caretakers, okay? It is not our jobs to give up on everything we wish to do and to be in order to take care of men. And I’m not saying a woman cannot do it, but that we are not obliged to do it and that we should not be painted as monsters when we decide we don’t want to do it.