My diet diary

[diaryofadietgurl]

more updates

D5 (by far the best day imo)

woke up and didn't take any duromine pill as i've cca on that day and i didn't want to constantly chuck down water during my training and neither did i want to sweat. However i was breaking out in cold sweat during cca though i was in a full blast aircon room, my hands were cold but i was sweating.

lunch: yong tau foo soup

snack: croissant

dinner: 1 slice pineapple

didn't have appetite!!! And i did it without the help of duromine :O so i'm pretty impressed. my period came today though. And i felt sore and tired after dance prac.

D6 (worst day imo , bad comes after the good ):) 

popped my pill at 10++ am.

so today i decided was my cheat day cause KFC re-launched bbq meltz and i had to try it because it's my childhood lunch ahahah. 

breakfast: Grapes (cause i was feeling funny, sick and tired)

lunch : bbq meltz (2 and 1 third slice) , half fries, greentea

dinner : sweet sour pork, cauliflower, lady fingers

Then after dinner i started feeling 'hungry' , like my mind was screaming food. It funny how some people can't even stand the sight of food while they are on duromine, but as for me i keep thinking about food.. like what to eat for lunch...dinner..etc. )-:

post-dinner : Half a plate of carrot cake , 2 red bean paus. 

it's okay, i shall forgive myself since its my cheat day after all. DUROMINE PLS START DOING YOUR THING AGAIN TOMORROW D< 

and because i didn't feel much appetite suppressed from duromine, i'll take it everyday instead of alternate days. I don't even feel full when i eat, but i just have control on when to say 'ok i'm going to stop here' . sigh. i hope everything starts picking up again. im feeling so bumped now ): 

[diaryofadietgurl]

Duromine

hey. so i started on duromine. Actually 15mg of panbesy for the first three days to 'ease' beginners into duromine. 

My stats: 

Height: 157cm

Weight: 58kg.

D1

I ate my first panbesy immediately after the doctor prescribed it to me at 9.30am. The only side effect i had was dry mouth and that was it. It did curb my appetite but not my desire to eat!! But nonetheless it was still lesser then what i usually ate. 

breakfast : kfc a.m porridge

lunch : veg + sweet sour pork + 2 spoonful of rice

snack : kaya butter toast

dinner : 3 sausages

+++ more water then i usually consume

i felt tired the entire day, (slept like a baby in the bus) so i thought i could sleep in early so i wont be tempted to put food in my mouth BUT NO, 

i couldn't sleep and got tempted to eat macdonalds at 10pm )-: 

supper: macspicy + fries + ice lemon tea

yes i didn't feel hungry but i wanted to eat cause like it just feels weird eating so little. (Usually i eat 3 main meals + snacks in between)

I thought panbesy didn't work really well on me cause after eating sinful macdonalds, i managed to sleep at my usual timing. so no insomnia for me! However, after consuming the pill i realised i started to sweat more. It was a cold weather that day yet i'm still sweating a little. 

D2

woke up at 10++ and ate the pill. 

breakfast: a little bit of fried beehoon & fried fish cutlet 

lunch: 2 inari sushi + hot jap green tea

dinner: 3 sushi + chocolate bread

++ a whole lot of water 

day 2 was much better. I was sweating way more then i use to, and drinking a lot of water because my lips get dried up every half an hour. I was still able to sleep for like 10 hours.

D3

took the pill at 10 ++ am

breakfast: a little bit more of fried beehoon & fried fish cutlet (dad was sitting infront of me, so got to force myself to eat a little more)

lunch: 2 spoonful of brown rice + a little scrambled egg with baked beans, lotus root corn soup 

there was luncheon meat on the table and i could resist it!!! 

dinner: maki san sushi stuffed with brown rice, cheese sauce, shredded chicken and corn.  (ate over 2 hours period cause i was working)

++ ALOT OF WATER

I felt weird after dinner though. Don't really like the cheese sauce, though i really love cheese but i dont really like maki san's cheese sauce ): my throat was burning whenever i don't drink 'enough' water. i think i was drinking over 4litres a day.

D4 

woke up at 9ish ++ and took my first duromine pill.

breakfast: 1 piece of raisin bread because i was gymming with a friend afterwards.

after breakfast i went to gym, drank water before heading into it and my throat started burning though i only did the cycling machine for like 15mins. its the feeling when you run too much without consuming water. and it hurts for a while. but i managed to pull it off by swallowing alot of saliva haha. Afterwards I went to the thread mill and walked because i was afraid if i ran my throat would kill me. Did some light stretching afterwards. 

My stomach was growling after that but I didn't have an appetite.

lunch: salmon with sauce + lotus root corn soup

dinner: subway ham and cheese wheat bread, with pickles, lettuce and sweet onion sauce. 

had my dinner before 7pm and didn't eat afterwards. Duromine didn't really make me full, but just allows me to stop at a smaller portion of my meal and choosing healthier choices.

However, I didn't managed to sleep as early as i would. It kept me up till about 2.30am ++ but afterwards i slept through the night :-) However, that night i felt so moody and i got pissed at the stupidest things at 2am. I remember feeling so upset with myself at being upset at the smallest thing ever. 

weighed myself in the morning: 57kg    

total weight loss: 1kg

side effects i've experienced so far:

dry mouth 

constipation (a little)

moodiness at night

a little insomnia

Today is day 5 and i didn't take the pill! Cause i have dance practice later on in the evening and i definitely do not want to experience the burning throat since we aren't given water breaks for at least an hour in between. I didn't have anything since morning and i'm not hungry, so yay! Will update again x

[diaryofadietgurl]

D-0

So I never really thought I would do this. I thought the days of my obsession over dieting was over. Ages ago I did something similar, going on skinny girl diet, abc diet , water fasting (and failed each and every one of it) and decided diet wasn't my thing. My weight is constantly up and down the scale, but recently I just hit the heaviest of my entire life. I wore so much skirts that i didn't realise i gained so much weight. When i started wearing pants, i could feel it. Some couldn't even fit any more. I gained so much weight. My pants were tight and my thighs were so close together now it feels so uncomfortable walking because i could feel the fats squishing together. 

I was very disturbed, but not to the point i wanted to diet this badly. A few weeks ago till current, i started heading to the gym at least twice a week, and I had dance every 2 days a week as well. And then i cut off fast food from my diet, and it's working really well (8 days without macdonalds already, yay! Considering i used to have it once every 3 days)

I can't resist food ): it's like after a workout or intense dance training, I'll give in, telling myself I've burnt off whatever calories I'm about to eat. so I eat alot at night time and then go to bed. )-:

next would be sleeping really late. Well, i'm a college student, so i reach home around 9pm usually, 8pm on good days and 11.30pm when i have dance training... so by the time i get home, do whatever unfinished work, and catch up on social media, it's over 1am.. which made my skin really bad.. Plus, i heard that sleeping late makes you gain weight too? ): I'm not so sure but i think for my case, it shows it. 

Okay now to the main point, what made me want to diet again so badly? Today we had this class photo taking session, and in one of the photos where we stood in one straight line, i realised how fat i was. my calves, thighs and arms were protruding with fats. I know my short dress probably contributed to 20% of the disgusting figure of mine but then again it was THAT bad. i felt real sad cause most of my classmates love that picture and posted it on social media. I felt really really awful and insecure because i was the only one who look THAT BAD. 

(++ and guess what? ALL, i repeat, ALL, the girls in my class are skinny as fuck. We only have like 5 girls in the class so its really simple to spot who is the chubbiest/fattest ; I.E: ME.)

The worst was, i was messaging this friend of mine telling him how i look so fat in the picture and everyone is posting it up, he just replied

"You think you very skinny meh?"

Ouch. That made me tear a bit.. quite a bit )-: 

I felt so fat so ugly so insecure. 

My face is full of breakout , my cheeks are so chubby, and my thighs...ugh my fucking thighs. and then there's my chunky calves. 

back story: I've have this friend who went through bulimia and anorexia, but she's recovering and still maintaining her new skinny figure. I'm really envious of her. In a way, i want to be like her, losing weight unhealthily, because exercising only made my calves so much bigger )-: Really hope i can obtain my ultimate goal weight..

So i've decided. Tomorrow would be the start of my diet. I will, and i can do this. 

CW: 56kg (pretty sure i gained even more now, i'll update tomorrow morning the first thing i wake up)

GW1: 50kg

GW2: 46kg

UGW:43kg

Height: 157cm