mileys digital diary

it’s all art

[diaryofashadow]

And please don't forget me

the version of you who fought so hard to get here.

Every peaceful moment you have now was bought by her courage.

[diaryofashadow]

it’s actually terrifying how well things are going

this is suspicious as fuck

I’m bracing for the catch

[diaryofashadow]

I love how when someone asks how we met

I get to tell them I was buying an electric guitar from you

[diaryofashadow]

love, fun, beautiful, genuine, strong, confident, home

[diaryofashadow]

It’s so strange

How you seemed to me

And now I know guys like you

The age you were at the time

And there’s a whole different perspective

[diaryofashadow]

The funny thing about you is

I didn’t understand you until after I left you

And I happened to walk in your footsteps

And sometimes I think of random conversations we had

And I thought I heard you at the time

But now that I’ve lived it on my own

I actually understand what you meant

It’s funny because

I got to know you and understand you and learn you more after you were gone than when I was with you

I got to know who you are

From my own experiences I had alone after you

I lived your life in a crazy way

You will never know

That I ever ended up understanding you

I finally really met you

After the last time I saw you

[diaryofashadow]

POV sharing any good news with your mother

[diaryofashadow]

I’ve been having a lot of best day evers recently

Suspicious

[diaryofashadow]

and then she started to have a lot of days that she would consider the best day ever

[diaryofashadow]

one day in my head randomly over and over I hear California California

I see the California license plates suddenly everywhere

the song that comes on: California

why?

should I go?

[diaryofashadow]

and July 18th

we had the perfect summer day

[diaryofashadow]

if I keep posting shitty poetry

it’s because it’s actually getting traction somewhere

and if distasteful to most

I keep going because I’ve found that there are some

who it means a lot to

there are people

who are sitting with these words

and they are starting to tell me

[diaryofashadow]

and suddenly it was 525 days later

525 days clean

and everything was different

and I was different

[diaryofashadow]

why am I surprised?

All my favorite love stories are tragedies

how else would it be possible to feel so much?

[diaryofashadow]

what people never understand about me

it’s I’m just a metaphor

and nobody seems to understand me

because nobody picks up on that

[diaryofashadow]

I thought of you today

And my body lurched violently

My soul was dry heaving

My body rejecting the remanence of you

I purge you out

I shudder and gag

It’s a full blown exorcism

The worst part about dry heaving

Is that it’s after the toxins have been cleared

The stomach is empty

And so it’s now parts of the inside of ourselves

That come up instead

[diaryofashadow]

I’ve always been that bitch, at 10 years old I tried out for the boys baseball team because I thought softball was the easier stupider version and nobody watches women’s sports