breaking down platonic/romantic into useful real life concepts
I find romantic and platonic fairly useless labels. The more I try to define them the more they slip out of my hands like wet bars of soap.
In its place may I suggest that we think in terms of: what kind of intimacy would I like to share with this person.
Sexual? Do I want to engage in certain sexual acts with them?
Personal feelings? Do I want to share some of my private thoughts and experiences with them?
Physical? For example, do I want to hug them, hold their hand, share a bed with them, touch them in non-sexual ways?
Emotional? Do I want to tell this person how I feel about them, perhaps write love letters or ring them just to say mushy things? Do I want to go on dates? Perhaps exchange meaningful gifts such as flowers or jewellery?
Practical? Some of these things include: do I want to share a home with them, or own a pet together, or work on a project together?
Time? How much of my free time would I like to devote to this relationship, whether virtually or in person?
Title? Would I like to call this person a friend, a partner, or something else?
I think what’s important is to think about what you want from someone, and to what extent, and to gain an understanding of what the other person* wants from you; define a relationship by the needs of those in it, and not by the overly rigid standards society has given us.
*I expressly use other person, not other people, because while I am polyamorous, I think each pairing must be considered its own relationship with its own needs and wants.
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