Dictionarious

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Legiterally

Legiterally (lehj-IT-er-ah-LEE): adv.1) A portmanteau of legitimately and literally

adv. 2) So incredibly valid that it doesn’t matter that the word you just said is actually nonsense.

"It’s legiterally the best food in the world." "What?" "Doesn’t matter." "You’re right. Because this IS the best food in the world"

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2013 Update, in light of the redefining of "literally" to mean "literally" or "figuratively": Legiterally (lehj-IT-er-ah-LEE): adv.1) A portmanteau of legitimately and literally, indicating that is not only literal (either accurate or figurative) but also legitimate (accurate).

"It’s legiterally the best food in the world." "Don't you mean literally?" "Not anymore."

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Science Scunday: Tropomyosin

Tropomyosin': v. lazy present progressive form of "to tropomyose", meaning "to make the subject excessively unclear (or blurry)", deriving from the Italian adjective "troppo" and the English adjective "myopic".

"I mean, if these were sandwiches, we wouldn't be arguing over who gets what and where, and really, that's the main thing I'm trying to say." "Wow. Really tropomyosin' your point there, aren't you?"

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Dequirp

Dequirp: v. To remove quirps.

Quirp: n. Quirk + Quip. Witty remarks that are difficult to understand due to their obscurity.

"The paper was 2050 words, and then I dequirped it and it ended up at 603." "That's a crapload of quirps!" "That it is."

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Thip

Thip: n. 1) Condensed portmanteau of "Think" and "Trip". A stumble in ones thoughts.

Thip: v. 2) To stumble in ones thoughts.

"I was trying to figure out how the story I'm writing would end, but then I thipped and started humming the soundtrack from Paint Your Wagon." "That's kind of a big thip." "Yeah, I'm impressed too."

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Carbiter

Carbiter: n. One who is relied on to settle decisions about automobiles.

"Wasn't sure what van to buy, so I turned to my carbiter, Patty. Turns out they were both made of cardboard!"

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Dexifer

Dexifer: n. One who is highly skilled at breaking things.

“Agh, I can’t get this bubble pack open!” “Give it here, I’m a dexifer.”

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Science Scunday: Lacunae

Lacunae: n. 1) An empty space or a missing part; a gap.

"There were sizeable lacunae in his knowledge of hippo physics."

Lacunae: n. 2) A cavity, space, or depression, especially in a bone, containing cartilage or bone cells.

"Have you figured out why my leg hurts?" "It appears that one of the lacunae in your femur is literally filled with tootsie rolls." "Oh, yeah. That makes sense."

Lacunae: v. 3) A scottish phrase which translates to "lack you not." Faded from use for a few hundred years, but regained popularity after Gentleman PPT's hip hop song, Lacunae Me topped music charts.

"You will fight the dragon, lacunae courage."

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Science Scunday: Haversian Systems

Haversian systems: 1) n. In ancient times, the third joke ever invented went like this, as told by the friend of a man named Haver. "Hi, I'm Throk." "Hi, I'm Haver." "Haver?! I barely know 'er!" They laughed for six generations, and the cause of the laughter was forgotten. The last generation of laughing folk decided that a god must have given them this joy, and they started a religion, and became Haversians. Haversianism was a somewhat small religion, and eventually dwindled until all that were left were a few lonely Haversian computer programmers. They uploaded their consciousness into robots, and multiplied, becoming an entire fleet of Haversian systems.

"Hey, maybe we can tell a joke like "Haver?! I barely know 'er!" or something." "No, that would offend the Haversian systems."

Haversian systems: 2) n. Veins that run vertically in bone.

"How would that offend Haversian systems?" "Like, the robot ones." "Oh. I thought you meant veins that run vertically in bone." "No, that's the other definition." "Huh?" "I'd explain it using two example sentences but I can't think of one for the veins one." "Yeah, that would be a tough one, wouldn't it?"

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Science Scunday: Jejunum

Jejunum: interjection. 1) Used to break the news to a person named Junum, as Junum is rather unlucky.

Person 1: "Jejunum, I don't know how to tell you this, but that steak you ate was your uncle Harry."

Junum: "I KNEW IT!"

Jejunum: n. 2) The middle section of the small intestine in most higher vertebrates, including mammals, reptiles, and birds.

Doctor 1: "Jejunum, I don't know how to tell you this, but that steak you ate is lodged pretty tight in your jejunum."

Junum: "I KNEW IT!"

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Qwuk

Qwuk: n. One who inspires a decreased faith in humanity.

"What a qwuk."

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Libnugget

Libnugget: n. A unit describing a single moment of improvisation.

"The sentence came out just like he had rehearsed at first, "I'm completely in love with", followed by the panicked libnugget of "bad horror movies from the 50s!""

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Buzzpoint

Buzzpoint: n. The exact moment of clarity, when, if one was playing Jeopardy, they would ring in. "How did you know I was a secret gnome?" "The buzzpoint was when you started getting all those cheques from Travelocity."

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Khabble

Khabble: v. To attach without reason.

"For Sale: One used Ford Fiesta, decorative waterfall khabbled onto left door."

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Maddertap

Maddertap: n. One who dances in inappropriate situations.

"...why is that guy breakdancing? He... knows this is a courtroom, right?" "Oh, that's Wallace. He's a bit of a maddertap."

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Odwick

Odwick: n. One who has little concept of time, often resulting in missed deadlines due to the belief that things can be done in a shorter span than actually possible.

"Why are you making up definitions when you have essays to do?" "Oh, essays don't take that long!" "You're such an odwick."

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Science Scunday: Integument

Integument: v. A French loanword, originally the masculine plural form of the french verb integumer, meaning "to be inside an eraser". This is a very common phrase amongst the people of Gomme-Grande in the south of France, and led to the usage of the phrase on a wider scale, even as an English word.

     "Well, they couldn't find a house that wasn't made of rubber, so now they integument."

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Science Scunday: Mezzocolon*

Mezzocolon: n. Sort of a jerk.

"Well, I ate all of the pie, but I left her a cupcake in its place." "Wow, you're such a mezzocolon."

*Okay, to be fair, mezzocolon is not a thing in SCIENCE - the word was mesocolon, I just really liked this definition and refused to give another.