God Child

WIP Indie Selective RP account for Shinji Ikari, written by Shark, please read rules and about before interacting.

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

The Doctor looked side to side.  A phone wouldn’t be a bad idea, but with the loudspeaker declaring it a state of emergency, he would doubt that there would be anyone able to answer.

“That would actually be a splendid idea, Shinji…”  He said.  “There should be one close by, I think…”  As the pair continued to walk, the Doctor saw something that caught his eye across the street.

It seemed that their journey to find a phone wouldn’t last very long!

The Doctor beamed as he nudged Shinji.

“I think I found a phone!”  He said.  “Come on!  Let’s see if we can’t reach anyone.”

The pair ran across the street to the phone.  Hopefully whoever the both of them could get in contact with could be reached…

A blue 2000 Renault Alpine A310 was being driven across the vast, empty metropolis of Tokyo-3.  The loudspeaker would come on again, warning all residents of the city to evacuate to the nearest shelter.  Yet, the lone driver had gotten lost trying to look for her rendezvous.

Inside of the car was a middle aged woman, sporting blue hair and mono lensed sunglasses, along with earrings and a black, white accented dress completing her ensemble.  The woman’s GPS was active, trying to find the meetup with her contact.

She let out a grunt.  “Damn…  Why did I have to lose him at a time like this?”  She asked herself.  “Why now…?”

On the passenger seat lay a folder with a set of papers, pictures, and an ID card.  The folder had a picture of a young student on it, with the name of the subject written on the photo.

Shinji Ikari.

The Doctor held the phone as he was trying to dial random numbers to get a hold of anyone in particular.  Each attempt was unsuccessful as he was met with the same message.

“We’re sorry.  Due to the special state of emergency, no lines are currently available.  This is a recording.”

The Doctor sighed.  “No good, Shinji.”  The Time Lord said.  “I can’t seem to get a hold of anybody.”

Shinji felt his hope drop, just a little. No phone meant no calling for help if they needed it, and he was beginning to regret coming on this trip. He looked down at the photo of Misato and rolled his eyes.

 Maybe it was just the situation, but the more he looked at the picture, the more he was beginning to think MAYBE she wasn't exactly the most reliable person his father could have sent.

Then again, there WAS an evacuation, perhaps she was caught up with something and that delayed her..?  

"Maybe its best to just stay where we are. My teacher always told me not to continue wandering if your lost. Although, we aren't really LOST, I think maybe its still relavent."

If she didn't show up, at least Shinji had company back to the train station. The doctor seemed kind enough.  

The boys hands found themselves stuffed into his pockets, staring off into the streets. She'd show up. She had to, his father wouldn't have sent for him just to leave him hanging out in an evacuated city.  

He wouldn't have wasted his time like that. And if he did, he wouldn’t waste it on Shinji. 

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

“I’m afraid not.” The Doctor replied.  “I’ve only just arrived, but I didn’t know that the city was being evacuated.”  He looked around as he made his way to the teenager.  “Seems strange that we both happened upon a ghost town, wouldn’t you say?”

The Doctor and Shinji had started walking together, unsure of what Shinji’s destination was.  He had mentioned something of an Angel attack that would be happening soon, yet it seemed like it could happen at any given moment.

At least he was found. Now he just had to let the event happen before he would intervene.

“I’m sorry!”  He said with a toothy grin.  “I didn’t even have a chance to introduce myself yet!”  The Time Lord placed a palm over his chest.  “I’m the Doctor!  And you are…?”

He'd arrived recently too, huh..? Well, Shinji wasn't going to complain about the company. Althought it was a bit strange that he was suddenly walking with a stranger, it was better than walking alone. It was as comforting as it was strange, but at least he'd have someone to talk to.

In search of a phone booth would go by much quicker! Hopefully the attack was further away so they'd be able to find one in time, the confusion of suddenly being summoned to Tokyo was anxiety inducing enough. Shinji wasn't sure if he could really handle much more.

A small smile inched its way over the boys face as the Doctor greeted himself. He didn't question why he had no sirname, but he figured it was just formalities. He wouldn't pry, it was none of his business.

"My name is Shinji."  He replied, tilting his head slightly before looking forward once again. "Are you headed to a phone as well?" He could see the booth in the distance, and a wave of relief flooded over him.

 He could call 'Miss Katsuragi', and his ride would finally be there!  "Maybe my escort could give you a ride to where you need to go."

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

Unbeknowest to the boy was a wheezing, groaning sound, filling the landscape as the train emptied the lone passenger to Tokyo-3.  The blue door opened as the Doctor, sans his hat, poked his head out and peaked to the left and right.  The entire platform was empty…

It was awfully quiet, save for the cicadas that rang through the landscape.

He stepped out and closed the door, as it locked behind him.  Walking a distance, he took the sights in.

Tokyo-3 looked far more advanced than he would have imagined.  The only issue was a particular glaring one.

The entire streets were empty.

The city was a literal ghost town.  No one was found walking the streets, and the silence was incredibly unsettling.

As he wondered why exactly there was no one on the streets, a loudspeaker soon answered his question.

“May I have your attention?  As of 12:30 PM today, a special State of Emergency has been declared for the Kanto and Juuban regions surrounding the Tokai district.  All residents must evacuate to the shelters immediately.  Repeat…”

That certainly explained why the entire place was empty.  He needed to find Shinji and fast.  Thankfully, he saw that there was a figure walking down one of the empty sidewalks. From behind, the figure had a familiar white dress shirt, dark blue slacks, and a familiar brown hair cut.

The Doctor’s eyes widened. “Shinji…!”  He said to himself.

Running to catch up to him, he slowed himself down to where he was just a bit behind him.  This would be the very moment that history was going to be altered. Generally, it was punishable by death by the Time Lords to interfere with fixed points in time, like the tragedy that he had just witnessed a year later.  However, when it came to a young boy, his own mental health, and the safety of the entire planet, the Doctor was more than willing to alter Shinji in a big way.

As they say, even the smallest events can completely change the course of history.  Even just a simple…

“Good afternoon!” The Doctor called out to Shinji.  “I don’t suppose you would care for some company?”

The announcement made Shinji raise a brow. The fact that he was meant to meet someone, contradicted by the command to evacuate was unsettling to say the least. 

Was it supposed to play out like this? He wondered if his escort knew this was going to happen. 

His pace quickened just a bit. Maybe the woman who was supposed to be picking him up would spot him on his way to a phone. He was hanging onto that idea. The odds were pretty low, but he was still hoping. The sooner he had the chance to get away from the completely empty streets, the better.

But company had come much sooner than he'd expected, and it wasn't the company he'd been expecting. 

Shinji stopped for a moment, looking up from the letter he'd been sent with his instructions to turn and face the man who'd greeted him. A stranger, Shinji didn't recognize him in the slightest. Perhaps he was also meeting someone here? It didn't matter, the fact that there was finally another person to break the silence was appreciated.

"Oh..! Uh, sure."  Despite appreciating the company, Shinji wasn't quite sure what to say. "...Are you also waiting for someone as well?"

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

As the TARDIS dematerialized, the Doctor worked on the console to pinpoint the exact date and time that Shinji had told him about.  What could he have been doing during that exact time?

February 2015…

A broad date, with no exact time of when the Angel attack happened.

If that was where it all began, there must have been some type of… origin place where the mess towards Armageddon started.  He just moved to Tokyo-3 around that time.  Yet there were so many other factors to take in.

Nonetheless, he needed to bank on it.  The safety of humankind, and Shinji’s well-being, depended on it.

K-9 rolled next to the Doctor.

“Master?”  He asked. “Is our holiday still on schedule?”

The Time Lord shook his head.  “Not this time, K-9.”  He said.  “We’ve got more pressing matters to deal with, now.”

The Doctor set the new coordinates in, and decided on a date and time to gamble.  Hopefully he’d land in the right spot this time, and not overshoot two months before the chain of events started.

“Hang tight, K-9!”  The Doctor called as he worked furiously to the controls.  “We’re going back further in time to Tokyo-3.  Let’s see, 4:30 PM… On the 3rd of February… 2015!”  He locked the controls in and threw the lever.

“Tokyo-3, here I come!”

As the Time Rotor bobbed up and down on the console, the Doctor gripped the panels as the TARDIS made for its new destination.

“Hold on, Shinji.”  He said.  “You’re about to get visitors…”

The train was loud.

The metalic noises of the running machine, absentminded chatter of passengers.

Somewhere down a few seats a group of younger teenagers were excitedly showing off a new card game to each other.

Shinji heard none of it, as he, and assorted other passengers, had blocked out the noise with their own music, earbuds, headphones, anything that would provide them with the white noise to help the ride pass by faster.

The train stopped at the station a few minutes ahead of time. It was meant to arrive at 4:30pm, but Shinji wasn't going to complain. It gave him extra time to make his way through the streets to his meeting spot.

He turned his music down as he stepped off the train with his suitcase in hand, glancing around a bit before beginning his walk down the street. 

He was supposed to meet Misato somewhere... He couldn't quite remember where he was supposed to go. Maybe calling would be the best option in his situation.

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

The Doctor turned back around as he made his way back to the TARDIS.  Just as he opened the door, he gave one last look to the broken children.  It was amazing how tragedy beget the two of them, to be alone on a desolate planet.

But for the Doctor to change history, to risk Time Lord law and manipulate it to something better…

He still intended to risk it.

He went inside as he closed the door to the TARDIS.  What Shinji and Asuka would witness was the TARDIS’s light beacon blinking, as the familiar grind of the engines began to echo through the empty landscape, as the box began to fade in the distance…

He really was gone.  

The entire situation was almost surreal, a stranger out of the blue promising to fix their broken world.

What had Shinji done to deserve such a promise, this was his fault to begin with. He was always asking for help, but now that help had actually arrived, he was second guessing himself. Did he deserve it..?

...He was only human.

To ask and recieve in return may not have been something Shinji was used to, but it was something that came naturally to others. Generous people were the kinds Shinji wished he had in his life before the end.

But the last thing he'd received was just that. A promise from a kind stranger to repair what Shinji broke. 

He looked to Asuka, who had turned to look out into the sea of LCL, eyes dead and just as emotionless as they had been when she confronted the Doctor. She'd heard everything, but said nothing against it. She knew as well as Shinji that there was nothing left here. Why would she argue against the truth? 

Because she hated Shinji? Because she didn't want to believe that ANYONE could fix this? Maybe because she felt sorry for herself, but she still said nothing. Once again Shinji had been left to make the final decission, and she refused to admit that it had been the one she'd have chosen too.

They had nothing left to lose. They were only kids, trapped in a wasteland that had nothing left to give.

It was a strange, almost peaceful scene, the two pilots seated side by side as the waves just barely lapped against their feet.

Everything would be alright.

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

The Doctor hugged him tighter.  Shinji’s words were pleas, cries of help that once upon a time, fell on deaf ears.

No longer would that be the case.

He had to fix this.  He had to…

“I will, Shinji…”  He said.  “I promise you.  I’ll fix this.”

The Doctor pulled away and saw Shinji’s tears.  He smiled.

“Don’t cry, Shinji.”  He said.  The Time Lord echoed the very thing he said to Sarah Jane before his previous incarnation had died, just before he regenerated into his current form.

“It’s alright.  While there’s life, Shinji… There’s hope.”  The Doctor smiled.  “I’ll make this right.  You have my word.”

He stood up, and looked at Shinji, and then Asuka, who looked dead to the world.  He sighed.  She was too far gone, unfortunately.  He didn’t blame her.  How could he?

The Doctor began to walk back to the TARDIS, which thankfully, wasn’t a far walk.  But in his steps, he stopped, and looked back at the children, Shinji looking on at him.

The Time Lord smiled.  “Your past is going to be a lot better, Shinji.”  He said.

He was leaving. 

He was really leaving, and Shinji simply stood, arms wrapped around himself as he calmed down.

He had the word of a stranger, but somehow it meant more to him than anything had in his entire life. This man promised him the change that Shinji longed for, something he was unable to do on his own.

Shinji had lost hope for himself long ago, after he't realized there was no fixing what he'd done. 

But this man brought a new offer to the table, and it was one that the boy was more than willing to sacrifice himself for it. He'd stopped crying. He wouldn't cry for himself anymore. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, watching the Doctor turn back to take a last look at the two standing at the beachside.

Shinji said nothing, just watched the man who had shown him the first genuine form of affection the boy had ever felt that he could remember. 

It was alright like this.

He was alright with this.

For once in his life, he felt as if his cry for help had finally been acknowledged. 

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

“I wish there were some other way, Shinji.”  He said.  “But if I can at the very least try to change the past and shape the future into something better, I have to risk it.  If I am able to give you, and her, a better life than this particular outcome…”

The Doctor’s hand went to the back of the boy’s neck, giving it a firm squeeze.

“…Then at least I can leave knowing that Earth won’t exist like this when the date becomes the 1st of January, 2016.”  He said with resolve.  “I can promise you, Shinji…  You will not be alone as long as I am around.  I’ll make certain that you have someone with you.”

The Time Lord pulled the boy into a hug, embracing him tightly, helping him relish in his final moments of existence before changing history.

“No matter what, Shinji… When I meet you again, I’ll always be with you.”

Shinji's eyes widened as the Doctor pulled him in.

The mans words echoed throughout his head, words that Shinji never thought he would ever hear from anyone. There was a feeling that Shinji couldn't place. Something that had been missing the entire time and he didn't know until now. His eyes welled up with tears, arms wrapping tightly around the Doctor, the last hug he would receive. 

At least the last thing he would experience was the genuine concern and care of another. He could be happy with that thought in his head. It made the situation a little more bearable.

It was a kind of affection he should have felt throughout his childhood, he should have experienced from a father who cared for him. But none of that mattered, he was experiencing something he'd never had in his last moments.

"Please fix this..."

The words left him in a whisper. He didn't want any of this. It wasn't what he'd wished for. His fingers clung to the Doctors jacket, he didn't want to let go, the idea of not existing was terrifying, but he knew there was nothing left for him. It would be okay.   

The Doctor would fix it. 

"Please help me..."

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

It seemed the Doctor had all the information Shinji had on hand.  It wasn’t much to go on, but it was certainly a trail of bread crumbs that he needed.  Now, he needed to make this happen.

But…

He looked down.

“Shinji…”  He said.  “…I don’t know how else to really say this, but I have to leave you and the girl here.  If I’m to actually avert this tragic catastrophe, I have to go back to when this Angel attacked when you had first arrived.  I intend to change the past to make certain that Earth does not meet its ends as it has here.  But… there’s a problem with that.”

The Time Lord sighed, looking back to Shinji.  “The moment I make an alteration to the time line, you and that girl over there…”  He closed his eyes and sighed, the result of his actions already becoming heavy.

“…You two will cease to exist.”

Shinji took in the Doctors words, tilting his head to the side. Somewhere in his gut he knew he and Asuka would be left behind. It wasn't a surprise to him, he'd grown used to it over time, somewhere in his subconcious it was always the first assumption he came up with. He was sure he'd be even more surprised if the Doctor had actually told him he COULD join. 

But the Doctor said he was going to fix everything, and despite all of the distrust he'd lived with all of his life, he found himself pouring all of his trust into this stranger. It sounded so impossible, too good to be true.

But Shinji trusted him. 

And even at the sudden realization that Shinji would vanish from existence, he trusted the man. 

He had nothing else.

"...We won't exist..?" He whispered, the words sounded distant, but there was a small, sad smile on his face as his eyes turned to the sea of LCL.

"If you can prevent THIS from happening somehow, if you can make sure everyone stays alive, keep the world alive...   Then my life is a small price to pay compared to this."

It was singlehandedly the hardest, yet the most honest thing Shinji had said to anyone. It didn't matter if he existed or not in this world, there was nothing for him here. There was no future for him.

And if all of this was a dream he was having, the Doctors promising to change things, at least it was one he could wake up to somewhat happy.

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

Good.  He had details.  Even able to list a few events before this mess had started.  Now the Doctor was able to look out for a few names and keep a few things in mind.

NERV was an organization Shinji had joined…

A being known as an ‘Angel’ attacked Tokyo-3, which must have kickstarted whatever happened before Armageddon…

Shinji’s father… What role did he play in this, he wondered?  What was his name…?

Captain Misato Katsuragi, no doubt an authority figure in Shinji’s life, whom he lived with for a time as well…

Piloting a machine known as an Eva…

February 2015…

That was it.

The Time Lord had an approximate date.

He thought hard about his next course of action, but it seemed like it was already clear.

The Doctor needed to go back in time…

He grinned at Shinji. “My dear young fellow…”  He started, having Shinji look him in the eye.  “…You’ve helped me greatly.  I think I have an idea of what to do now.  Are you certain there is nothing else you remember? Any minute details might be able to help me further.”

Shinji's eyes locked with the doctor, wide, confused and curious. He wanted to know what this man was planning.

 Thinking he could change all of this. 

He didn't want to admit that he agreed with Asuka that it seemed impossible that this man was anything special. What was he going to do, time travel? But even the impossible was fair game for Shinji. He’d seen too much to keep a closed mind to the possibilities that this man COULD potentially save them.

A few times throughout the interaction though, Shinji wondered if the man had lost his mind in this wasteland of earth, it was possible that he really had no idea what he was talking about. But the momentary thought was quickly dissolved by the pure sincerity the Doctor radiated off of him. It was almost a refreshing change to the harshness of how Asuka seemed to present herself, cold and full of hate for Shinji that was understandable, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

The doctor was the exact opposite of the girl. 

It pushed Shinji further to help him.

"I can't remember anything else... Its all blurred together." Shinji said, somewhat disappointed. He wanted to help this man even if somewhere in his subconcious he believed that this man could have simply lost his mind. But there was really only one way to find out at this point, and what did he have to lose?

This barron and destroyed land?

A girl who hated him and wished for her own death just to get away from him? Shinji had NOTHING left to lose.

And if he could help this man in THIS time, to fix everything that he'd broken, bring back what he'd destroyed, then he didn't care what it was.

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

“Back in time…”  The Doctor repeated.  “If I attempted to do that… the Time Lords certainly wouldn’t be happy… Yet… This would mean…”

He looked back at the two children.  In his mind, the Doctor knew what would happen if he attempted to go back to an existing time line to avert a catastrophe.  Events like that were fixed points in time that couldn’t be changed.  But the Doctor was always known to buck the rules of Time Lord law for the sake of a few saved lives.

But if he went back… that would mean the Shinji and Asuka here… would cease to exist.

He turned back to face the apocalyptic landscape, before muttering to himself again.  This time, his resolve was clear.

“…I may just need to risk it.”

The Doctor turned back around to Shinji, walking toward him and kneeling to his level. “Shinji…” He started.  “I know this is a lot to ask of you, and I know you’ve told me everything you remember.  But I need details.  Anything that pops into your head of yours may be valuable information I need.”

The Time Lord put a hand on the boy’s shoulder.  “What else do you remember?  Any events that had happened before this?  Places?  People?  Names? Dates and Times? You’ve mentioned other names like NERV, Rei, Kaworu, Eva, and that girl over there, Asuka. I need information like that. Can you tell me anything specific that you can possibly think of?”

Information... Shinji could do at least that, couldn't he? The doctor had calmed the boy enough to recall broken fragments of memories. Names, dates, everything was jumbled, but he found that if he put in the effort, scrounging up what bit of willpower he had left was enough to sort them out.

Starting at the beginning of when he'd joined NERV seemed to be the most logical choice. A difficult task, but he could do it despite physically feeling it drain his energy away.

"I joined NERV after my father sent for me... I remember being shocked about a real life geofront. It was the first time I'd seen one in person, I'd only heard rumors up to that point. I was with Misato then, going to see him for the first time in two years, after we visited my mothers grave. He wanted me to pilot this... giant machine. He called it an Eva, and I did as he'd told me to..."

The sudden memory of his battle with Sachiel made him pause, eyes staring into space as the sudden and violent memories flooded his vision. The image of that monster lunging at Shinji at his most vulnerable, the phantom pain of feeling the angels pull, dislocating his arm was dull and throbbing, and Shinji's free hand rubbed against it in an attempt to chase it away. Feeling as if he were being torn apart, and then blacking out.

It was a terrifying experience that he couldn't quite manage to explain in words. "I started school after the angel attacked... February 2015." He looked back up at the Doctor. He was trying his best to remember anything else, but it seemed like it all blurred together into a hazy mess.

"I'd moved into captain Katsuragi's home... Misato's home. She was captain then. I can't remember much after that."

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

This was a mess.

Nothing about this seemed real to the Time Lord.  The Doctor was aghast about the whole situation.  The girl, Asuka, and Shinji were both unreliable trying to help him understand what really happened.  Names of people, wanting happiness, and Asuka’s repeated slandering of this broken boy…

She never asked to be alive…  What did that mean…?

What did any of this mean?

The Doctor’s hands were on his head, trying to make heads or tails of everything told to him.

“I don’t understand…  I… I don’t understand!  None of this makes any sense!  How did the human race die off and leave two broken children! Why?  Why did such a thing happen?  This can’t…”

His arms dropped from his head, his eyes wrought with grief and confusion, unable to truly comprehend everything.  “How could such a thing happen where I couldn’t prevent such a catastrophe?  Why…?”

The Doctor turned around facing away from the children.  “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry…”  The words were sullen, as if an apology would never matter in this situation.  “I wish I could have prevented all of this from happening, from damning you two to such a terrible fate.  If only… If only I could go back in time…”

The Doctor’s eyes looked up at the horizon, and yet…

And yet, as if suddenly…

Ideas began to strike like flint against rock to start a fire…

“Back in time… Of course… But, could that be possible…?”  He was muttering to himself, piecing together if he could truly attempt something forbidden by Time Lord law.

“Should I even risk it…?”

He didn't understand..

. Shinji didn't blame him, the child barely understood what had happened himself, despite being the one to cause it. 

Why did any of this happen? Neither Shinji or Asuka could properly answer that question, their guess was as good as this strangers. They didn't know anything beyond what they'd already said, despite it being broken and making little to no sense. They couldn't help it.

They were only broken children, watching this grown man appologize as if he'd caused all of this himself. The two had taken it two different ways

Asuka had begun toning everything out once again, his apologies meant nothing to her. She hated this man, for no real reason other than he’d felt sorry for her. For them. She didn’t need his sympathy. She didn’t WANT his sympathy.

But to Shinji, those words meant everything. When was the last time he'd heard someone apologize, to HIM no less?

No, those words meant everything to Shinji, even if he didn't exactly understand why the man was apologizing. Even if in the end, it made no sense to him, the Doctors words were a kind of relief that Shinji never considered feeling after waking up to his destroyed home.

Curiously, Shinji listened to the mans muttering, picking out bits and pieces. Once again, the Doctor made no sense to the boy, but he still tried his best to understand. 

"...Back in time?"

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

The Doctor’s brow furrowed.  None of this made sense!  This young boy ended the world, and the fact that the only other survivor sounded like she hated his guts…

What happened before the end…?

“Whatever is the matter?”  He asked, bewildered by the venom in her voice.  “I’m doing the best I possibly can to figure out what exactly happened to this planet. From what Shinji has told me, you two are the only survivors, and that everyone…”  His voice lowered.  “…everyone is dead.”

  He double-took between the girl and Shinji. “Can just… one of you… just one of you… tell me what exactly happened here?  Why did humanity get reduced to nothing but primordial soup?  How exactly did the two of you survive this catastrophe?””

He brought his hands up, almost desperate for an answer.  Something.  Anything!

“Of all the planets in this system, why is this planet dead!?”

"Our planet is dead because of this IDIOT." Asuka snapped back at the doctor, lips curled back in a snarl, and the boy crossed his arms, gripping the sleeves of his tattered shirt tightly.

She was right.

"I would have rather DIED than be stuck on this hell of my home! I didn't ASK to be alive! Everything was HIS choice!"

"...I don't know..." Shinji whispered, and Asuka stopped her rant to turn and glare at him. 

He really, truly didn't, and he turned back to the doctor, away from the fire in her eyes.

"I don't know what actually happened... everything I told you is all I know! I was given the option to  choose to be happy and I took it! But this isn't what I wanted!"

What DID he want then..?

"Everything was confusing and didn't make sense! I saw Rei and Kaworu, I thought Asuka had died, voices asking me what I wanted to be happy! I didn't understand why they were asking ME-"

He knew his words made no sense, he didn't know how to place them in order. Hell, he didn't even know where they started or ended, but he'd tried. His voice slowly faded until he was once again silent. It was all he could do, nothing made sense. 

All he knew is that it was his fault, and now these two in front of him were here suffering because of it.

It really WAS all his fault...

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

That voice…

That voice felt like venom dripped from it…

The Doctor turned to face the source of the voice, and saw another child, near the same age as Shinji.  She wore a strange looking suit, almost as if it was made for some sort of device.  Her arm and eye were both in a very bad state, covered up in bandages.  But the cold, piercing stare from her good eye left the Time Lord with a very bad feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He rose to his feet, and stood in front of Shinji, putting a defensive distance between the boy and the other child.

“You must be the other survivor Shinji mentioned.”  He said.  “I’m the Doctor. I’m hoping that I can be of some help.”

Asuka simply stared at the stranger, unblinking and hollow. 

Who was this man...? 

Her eye strayed for a moment to Shinji, who flinched slightly and looked away, before turning back to stare at the doctor.

"...Help?" her voice was softer, but just as threatening.  "You think you can HELP, 'doctor'? There's nothing left TO help. HE did a good job of that..." 

Shinji tensed up, letting his mind drift away from the conversation. Running away again, although he knew she was right. He didn't want to face it, he didn't need her to remind him of what he'd done, it was bad enough being surrounded by it. All Asuka's voice was doing was filling him with emotions and self hate that he didn't want to feel.

"There's nothing you can do, everything is gone. This is all thats left... What makes you think you're so special that you can FIX anything..?"

[theunrequitedlover]

[izumi-png]

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

askthe4thdoctor:

The Doctor listened intently as Shinji recounted what exactly happened that caused the third planet of the Solar System to become that of an empty, red husk.  A lot of things didn’t make sense to him.  NERV, Eva, Kaworu, people melting…

“…Everyone melted?”

The Time Lord walked closer to the shoreline, crouching down and dipping his hand in the water, cupping the liquid in his hand.  He eyed it closely.  Indeed, something was very off about the liquid.  Yet, Shinji had said that this was all that was left of everyone.

He sniffed it, before his eyes widened.  It had dawned on him.

“…This is primordial soup!”  He said, almost in horror.  “Humanity… had been reduced to this…?”

Suddenly the pang of loss he had felt intensified.

There was a musing he remembered back on Space Station Nerva when he traveled with Sarah Jane and Harry Sullivan, who both were no doubt among the billions that perished in this catastrophe.

“Homo-Sapiens…” He recounted.  “An inventive, invincible species.  To think, they had survived everything that nature had thrown at them.  Flood, famine, plague, wars and holocausts.  To think… they would begin new life and outset eternity.  Now…”

The Doctor poured the liquid back into the ocean, watching the liquid splash.  “…Now they’ve been reduced to the very same, basic biological product at which they crawled out of.  An indomitable race… reduced to only two people in the blink of an eye.”

He looked ahead at the destroyed landscape.  “Last I checked, the population count for this date was roughly three billion, Shinji.”  He said.  “…If you were given the choice to end an entire race, why did you?”  The Doctor turned to look at Shinji.  “Did someone ask you to kill the human race before you obliged, as you had said earlier?  No one helped you, and you were alone.  Who manipulated you to make that decision…?”

Shinji simply listened to the man, still standing in the water, letting it soak into his tattered sneakers. He was strange, unlike anyone shinji had met previously. It wasn't a bad kind of strange. It was more interesting and intriguing to him, in fact.

But the way the man so fondly talked about humanity only made Shinji feel worse. He'd allowed such a loved race to be destroyed like it was nothing more than a burden on him. 

Why did you...?

Why DID he choose to end the world?

"I didn't think there was any other option..." his words were careful, slow, like he was testing what he was saying.  He really DIDN'T think there was another option, everything had seemed so overwhelming. He'd always been criticized for making the wrong choices. At least with his final one, he could be right.

"There was no one else to help me... No one else cared about me. They were never there when I needed them but they expected EVERYTHING from me. My father... He only wanted me back so he could use me! Thats all anyones ever done! So why WOULDN'T I choose to get rid of them all?!"

Who had manipulated him...?

"No one told me to do it... I made the decission on my own."

There was really no other way to put it, or at least, he didn't really have time to THINK of another way to put before a noise caught his attention. A shuffling noise, as if someone was walking through the sand, dragging their feet. Uneven steps that seemed to stumble as they attempted to find footing on the uneven ground.

He turned to face her, his companion pilot and the only other survivor besides himself. Her red hair obscured her damaged and bandaged eye, head only risen enough to glare out at the two with her working one. Her gaze was lifeless, however. Cold and lifeless, and it sent a shiver down Shinji's spine.

But her voice made the shiver feel like a mere tingle compared to that stare. The kind of chilling and hollow voice that one would expect from a child with such a terrifying composure. And her only two words were enough to send Shinji back into his shell of self doubt, draw back from the interaction with the doctor.

"You're pathetic."

[askthe4thdoctor]

Doctor Who and the Armageddon Child

[dieuenfant-blog]

Shinji didn't lift his gaze from the sand. He couldn't face this man like this. He was yet another person suffering from Shinji's own selfishness. How could he explain a situation he could barely remember?

But he attempted, despite himself. What else was he supposed to do at that point?

"There was an attack on Nerv.." He muttered. "A military attack, I think... And Asuka... She was outside in her Eva, she was fighting." He slowly brought his head up as he spoke, the hazy memories piecing themselves together in his mind.

"Misato was escorting me to my Eva, but she-" His breath hitched slightly, remembering her blood on his hands as he brought his up between himself and the doctor. "She died... And I thought Asuka died, and when I was alone in the Eva, I decided I wanted EVERYONE to die... The people I needed were never there when I needed them.”

He could feel himself losing control of his own emotions again, but he wasn't going to stop himself.

"Misato said that MY decisions are valid choices! And my decision was that I wanted EVERYONE to die! They'd done nothing but hurt me, so they could all just DIE! It would have been better to be alone than to get hurt! What was the point of anyone being alive if they just hurt me!?”

He stopped.

"But I didn't know everyone would really die then... I'd thought that same thought lots of times and nothing happened. I didn't think everyone really would... they all started melting." He stared directly into the mans eyes, a look of terror and confusion in his own. "They all started melting. Everyone started melting into LCL and I couldn't do anything about it! And after that, everything was a blur." 

He turned his head to look out at the waves rolling in, before taking a step towards the orange water. He slowly bent down and dipped his hand into it. There was a hesitant pause as he did so.

The water was warm...

"I saw Kaworu there, and I decided that if he was the last person I saw, then I would be okay... And I let myself drift off while everyone else melted away into this... This is all thats left of everyone."