Cut the Cord

Marlene Mckinnon//19//Former Gryffindor

[different-marlene-blog]

[Text]: We're out of toilet paper

[Text: The Real Bae] are you serious?

[Text: The Real Bae] should i go to the store?

[Text: The Real Bae] actually, i don’t have money

[Text: The Real Bae] we’re going to have to steal some toilet paper from someone

[different-marlene-blog]

( jennaxhamilton )

[text to my girl crush] Truly a devastating time, it’s true. Us ladies, we gotta stick together, it could happen to you. & I got your back, babe.

[text to my girl crush] I’m down – let’s go, I hope we get an amazing reaction!

[ text: The Real Bae ] Thanks, I don’t know what I would do without you <3

[ text: The Real Bae ] We’ll need to be prepared because he’ll definitely try to get us back.

[different-marlene-blog]

( irish-shy-guy )

“My roommate wasn’t that bad, and I didn’t mind sharing, but I couldn’t sleep the way I wanted and usually do because I was sharing the room with someone, so I was a little uncomfortable”

“Yeah, it’s just nice to have your own space. I don’t like to have to worry about bothering the person I’m sharing a room with because I know I’m loud when I get ready in the mornings.”

[different-marlene-blog]

“Are you crying?”

“Maybe? I don’t know why I’m sad. It’s stupid, please ignore the fact that I’m crying”

[different-marlene-blog]

“I’ve been watching the History Channel nonstop since returning from Vegas. Did you know that Red Riding Hood was actually about a girl being preyed on by young men who wanted to take her virginity? Men haven’t changed much, have they?”

[different-marlene-blog]

[ text ]:I don't know who you are but I want pizza.

[ text: madge! ] it’s marlene

[ text: madge! ] and im not a bloody pizza delivery person

[ text: madge! ] but we could order one if you want

[different-marlene-blog]

( themayorslittlegirl )

[ text: marls! ] Thank you! Have I mentioned how awesome you are?

[ text: madge! ] No, you haven’t.

[ text: madge! ] Feel free to tell me (:

[angstmemes]

Basic Angst Starters

[tedwardlvpin-blog]

angstmemes:

because sometimes what’s left to the imagination is much more terrifying.

“Are you feeling alright? You don’t look it.” “I just heard something… Something bad…” “Why didn’t you tell me about this?!” “What’s all this blood?!” “Will you tell me what the fuck is going on?” “Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!” “You should probably sit down for this.” “Please tell me you forgive me!” “I can’t live without you!” “Oh god, It was a mistake coming here… I’m sure of it.” “What the hell happened to you?!” “Where have you been?! I’ve been waiting for hours!” “You promised you wouldn’t do this anymore!” “I knew not to trust you!” “What’s that in your bag…? Is that–? Tell me it’s not!” “Is this what a dislocated shoulder feels like?!” “How could you do this to me?!” “Wake up! Wake up!!! You’re having a nightmare!” “I feel weird… what was in that drink…?” “I don’t want to leave you, but you’re not really giving me another option.” “Please… you’re scaring me…” “Ssh, I heard something again. How aren’t you hearing it? It was loud… and getting closer.” “Are you okay in there? You’ve been so quiet.” “I came as soon as I could! Did he/she get to you already?” “I don’t know whether I want to do this. I don’t know whether I CAN do this.” “Do you remember anything?” “You have to tell me who did this to you!” “No, no, I’m not alright. I’m definitely not alright.” “What’s your fucking problem?!” “Are you crying?” “You’re freaking me out! Please calm down!” “I’m leaving. And I’m not intending to come back.” “You… are dying?” “Did you drink the whole bottle while tripping? Seriously?” “Do you have a deathwish or something? Jesus!” “Ever been held at gunpoint? Want to know what it feels like?” “Stop screaming! Shh, calm down! You have to keep quiet!” “When’s the last time you slept?”.

[different-marlene-blog]

blondebxmbshell:

❝It seems as though someone left a perfectly fine bottle of wine on the counter. Which leads me to ask, would you care to join me? If not to drink, but to also drown some sorrows.❞

“I’m never one to turn down a drink, thank you for offering. Do you wanna talk about your sorrows or shall we avoid that topic entirely?”

[different-marlene-blog]

( irish-shy-guy )

“You have no idea how much I missed this place, I am so glad that we’re back”

“It’s nice to finally have my own room, I was getting tired of sharing. Not that my roommate was horrible, I just like personal space.”

[different-marlene-blog]

( bethwshngton )

❝What in the world       Where am I now ?? ❞

“Palm Springa, California. The trip to Vegas was a break from here, sort of.”

[different-marlene-blog]

[ text ]:I don't know who you are but I want pizza.

[ text: madge! ] it’s marlene

[ text: madge! ] and im not a bloody pizza delivery person

[ text: madge! ] but we could order one if you want

[different-marlene-blog]

( themayorslittlegirl )

[ text: marls! ] Pepperoni! I’m not a big fan of the other ones that have different type of meats and stuff.

[ text: madge! ] okay, I’ll order one quick and bring it over once it’s delivered!

[different-marlene-blog]

[text] There isn’t enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow instead. ( billy. )

[ text ] Do you wanna talk about it?

[ text ] i happen to have some ice cream that we could share

[rpmememaker]

SUPER TEXT LIST! (Texts From Last Night Inspired)

originally from frommemetoyou

[text] Are you lost?

[text] NO! That was a typo

[text] Did you buy it?

[text] I think I’m a mermaid

[text] I know it’s 3am, but come over and cook for me. 

[text] Too lazy to booty call, so have this text instead

[text] Need to bury a body, it’s urgent.

[text] Are you sure there’s no monsters?

[text] It was an accident.

[text] lol fuk da police

[text] send me a picture and i’ll be home quicker ;)

[text] DO NOT READ THE LAST MESSAGE IT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU

[text] Well maybe I broke my tongue!

[text] Please tell me you’re free today! I’ve got some big news today.

[text] Got a spare ticket, do you want to come?

[text] Do you have a spare mankini I can borrow?

[text] Is fancy dress allowed at the wedding?

[text] I was using my old baby blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants

[text] We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead… I just rolled off and tapped out. 

[text] Like alphabetically, I’d say a t?

[text] I’m sorry if throwing up in the back of your dad’s car ruined our friendship :(

[text] there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night singing karaoke and drink out of juice cartons. don’t judge me.

[text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.

[text] Do you know where I am?

[text] My wedding is in 5 hours and I have no idea where I am. Help!

[text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would get a piggy back ride home. I’ve never been so broken.

[text] Is “head down ass up” an appropriate way to say good morning?

[text] That is definitely not healthy, in fact I’m not sure it’s legal to send that sort of picture?

[text] There isn’t enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow instead.

[text] Not sure if I took a nap or went to another dimension

[text] ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! HE IS A TRIPLET, WE DONT NEED TO FIGHT OVER HIM WE CAN HAVE AN ORGY INSTEAD

[text] No no don’t leave me, who’s going to walk me home

[text] She wheeled me home in a trolley and sad she loved me, I think I win.

[text] My dick just got serenaded.

[text] I ate the whole wheel of cheese. Help.

[text] I’ve been hiding under the bed for the past 20 minutes, and now they’re getting into it and it’s a little too late for me to jump out and surprise them. So expect a live sex updates

[text] The fridge is fully stocked. I’m either hallucinating or this is a miracle

[text] I need you to help me clean the house because I have visitors in less than an hour???

[text] Your brother is at the front door- WHAT DO I SAY?!

[text] It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you

[text] I’m in A&E but I don’t really know why

[text] Went to bed with a 10, just about woke up with a 2 and a half

[text] I think I’m officially a homewrecker because his wife just walked in screaming and he said it’s not what it looks like. I mean what else could it look like? I wasn’t trimming his hairs with my mouth?!

[text] My night ended with me crying in a gutter, I hate you.

[text] He’s decorated the toilet with his urine. I never want to see him ever again, tell him he has 2 minutes to get out of our house.

[text] Don’t talk to me! You tried to trade me for a glass of wine and a cigarette!

[text] I promise I’ll get everyone to jelly wrestle with us xox

[text] I am armed with a crown, a sash and a bouquet of flowers. Don’t test me.

[text] I think I got married last night?

[text] I think I got married on impulse last night… and after looking a second time, I don’t think i’ve made any mistakes.

[text] My mouth tastes like poor choices

[text] I didn’t let go of the mechanical bull, but they had to pull me off because… it was rough just the way I like it and I think that showed?

[text] If I say it was accidental you’ll just say I’m lying

[text] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my… everywhere

[text] You’re my hero

[text] You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me, thank you

[text] Have you ever had a good idea in your life?

[text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again?

[text] It’s not a good night if I don’t end up crying into your mother’s lap.

[text] Mark my words, your dad will be my sugar daddy, he’ll marry me and you’ll have to call me momma bear and I will interrupt your sex life with condoms and condiments.

[text] I’m may be allergic to nuts, but not his.

[text] She high fived me out of pity

[text] You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask

[text] You just walked in, rated their performance, dragged in three other people to clap for them, then walked back out.

[text] You kept calling me baby Jesus and trying to see what wise men had to say about my hair…

[text] I am a responsible adult. I tied up my hair before I puked

[text] I am a responsible adult, I brought home a lost kitten and let it shit in your room

[text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?

[text] It may or may not have been your sister…

[text] It may or may not have been your brother…

[text] If you’re not coming over with food, don’t come over at all

[text] Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My co-worker is talking to me about her birds having sex again…

[text] IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

[text] Buy me a helicopter, I will give you the last slice of pizza. pls. this is important. okay maybe the crust?

[text] Let’s never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

[text] I tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help.

[text] I told her my cum counts as protein shake and she sent a text to my gran saying I ate her cat.

[text] If you don’t fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we’re alone in your room, I’m returning you to the boyfriend store

[text] I accidentally sexted your mum, I’m sorry xox

[text] There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro

[text] I feel like you’re pretending I didn’t bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a “comfy place to sit”

[text] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really don’t know what you took, but you need a babysitter.

[text]  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a “let’s fuck” way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of “let me wash your hair” way.

[different-marlene-blog]

( immortalmiikaelson )

the more time passed, the bigger the smirk on kol’s face became. it was simply his own ego showing now — why wouldn’t she be attracted to him ?? that, and the fact that he actually felt under the influence for the first time in a thousand years, made him desire marlene. once she finally closed the distance between the two, his lips attacked back without even a moment’s hesitation. 

As their lips connected she brought her arms up to loosely wrap around his neck, using them to pull him even closer to her. A part of her realized that they should probably get off the dance floor and get out of people’s way but the other part of her just didn’t care because all the flirting had finally led to kissing and she wasn’t about to stop just yet.

[different-marlene-blog]

[ text ]:I don't know who you are but I want pizza.

[ text: madge! ] it’s marlene

[ text: madge! ] and im not a bloody pizza delivery person

[ text: madge! ] but we could order one if you want

[different-marlene-blog]

( themayorslittlegirl )

[ text: marls! ] Oh hi Marls!

[ text: marls! ] Whoopsie wrong number

[ text: marls! ] Yes please :D

[ text: madge! ] hey madge (:

[ text: madge! ] okay what kind of pizza do you want?

[different-marlene-blog]

[ text ]: I just got mistaken for a porn star. // teddy

[ text: t-lupin ] I think that might be a compliment though

[ text: t-lupin ] pornstars are usually really attractive

[different-marlene-blog]

[ text ]: ah yes i strive to be mistaken for a porn star

[ text: t-lupin ] I would have taken it as a compliment

[ text: t-lupin ] are you shirtless or something? because that would make some sense

[different-marlene-blog]

( irish-shy-guy )

“You have a good point” He laughed,sometimes he hated that about himself, but if he had a chance to change that, he woukdn’t, because it was just how he was born, it’s who he is “Well, I can’t promise that I will stop complimenting you, I like complimenting people. In a normal mirror? Oh… Hm… I don’t know why but I knew you would say that” he blushed and laughed.

“I won’t complain if you keep complimenting me, I just thought I’d warn you.” The blonde smiled at him. “Probably because I’ve been telling you that you’re adorable since we first met.”

[different-marlene-blog]

( neverdoanythingforme )

“Thank you. Yeah, that’s her name. Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. We can think of something, maybe something that one of us don’t want to do, we can pretend to be each other”

“You’re welcome. We can always save the pretending to be each other for the future, like if you ever want to break up with a boyfriend but don’t want to do it yourself I can do it for you.”