A Different Kind of Bravery

Jessica Moore. It's been a while...

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

[mynamesnotsammy]

Sam looked away. She was right. He had no right to pull that card. She had just come back, but he hadn’t been in the greatest of mental states either. He’d only woke up from a coma. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t… I wish you’d never gotten tangled in that kind of thing. I wouldn’t change meeting you. I wouldn’t change any of it, But I would stay home that night, that weekend. No one should have to live this life. No one.”

He relaxed a little as she smiled. He’d always felt more relaxed when she smiled. He made a small sound at what she said then. “Not what they’ve done to me. I can’t… I’ll never forget what they’ve done to me, to you, to everyone I’ve cared about. Not even what she did to me, but I forgave her. I know it’s hard to understand why I would do that, but I have my reasons. There’s nothing that will change or make me forget what they’ve done to me.”

He frowned again. “I should… tell you. In… in case. The demon that started everything. The reason I’ve spent my entire life running from the life. He’s been raised too. And I hope to god it won’t mean anything for you, but I think you should know.” 

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess nodded, calming slightly. "It is difficult... but thank you for understanding that." She finished off her coffee and played with the cup, pausing as he spoke though. She frowned, but nodded. 

"Thanks. I'll remember. Although, I don't think he'll come after me any more. You be careful..." She said, in a tone she saved when she wanted him to take her seriously. Her mom voice, before she broke into a smile.

She looked away for a moment. "Listen I um... I want to get back into Stanford," she said seriously. She surprised herself with the sudden admittance, but if she had to start again, she was going to do it her way. "You... you mentioned something about... getting new IDs? I can hardly be Jessica Moore there any more..."

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

[mynamesnotsammy]

It wasn’t hard to see Jessica’s reaction. It was hurt first, and his expression softened. Roman was using what he knew against him. Sam had already lost so much he didn’t know what to think of anything. He looked away feeling guilty for this, but he loved Ruby. 

He found that he wished Jess would just tell him what she was thinking. It might make it easier to explain. “Betray me… again?” He was a little shocked at the phrase. “I don’t understand. You walked out of my hospital room, then some guy comes up to you on the street and talks to you and suddenly I’m in danger because of the girl I’m dating?” He shook his head, not sure what was going on anymore. He ran a hand down his face. 

“Dick Roman is the last man on earth that should be trusted. He nearly destroyed one of my closest friends. I only recently even found out Cas is even alive. I’m pretty sure Roman would rather see my head on a platter than anything else now.” He said quieter as he watched her fold up into the seat. He frowned.

“Look. I don’t know what he told you or why. I don’t know what’s going on, but I know that I’m safe. A week and a half ago I had to exorcise her to save a friend. A mutual friend who’d been possessed by a demon who meant to hurt us and others. She told me to, because she’s not… she still remembers what it means to be human.” He sighed. “She’s not going to hurt me.” He said frowning at his cup of coffee.

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess frowned at him. That wasn't fair. "I had just come back from the dead. Forgive me if my head was a little messed up..."

"He was playing me. I get it..." she said suddenly. "Another reminder why I can't join you..." She obviously still didn't know how these things work.

"But good. That's all you had to say. As long as you trust her." She smiled once more, taking a sip of her coffee before she focused on a mark on the table again. "She must be pretty special actually. To make you forget what they've done to you..." She spoke quietly. She didn't want to be cruel, that wasn't her attention. But surely he had to know. It honestly once that that was making her talk like this. There was no point being jealous; he had moved on, even if Ruby wasn't there. 

But it killed her to think that what happened to her was so forgettable. Even if that wasn't the intention (and she knew it wasn't...). But she couldn't help the way it made her feel. 

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

[mynamesnotsammy]

Sam watched her carefully as he waited for an answer. The pause making him more nervous and less sure that this was really Jess. He frowned. What could Dick Roman have wanted with Jess? What could he have told her? There wasn’t anything he could think of. Nothing that would interest Dick Roman… except that she had experienced death and been brought back. 

He stared at her a moment in shock as she spoke. Mostly as she said he’d talked about Ruby. That made this even more confusing. What would Roman even have to say about him and Ruby?

He frowned at her next statement. “Jess… I don’t… I don’t understand.” He paused trying to process everything. “What do you mean? I mean… I know what she is. I don’t…” 

He sighed, his jaw setting slightly. “What did he tell you about her?” He was confused, and scared that there was something going on. He was almost afraid to move. 

“Of course, I’m safe.” He said trying to sound reassuring. He knew she still cared about him, and he did still care about her, but he loved Ruby. Their recent circumstances only proving it further to him.  

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess sighed loudly, running a hand through her hair once more. He was confused, had no idea what she was talking about... wasn't going to believe her. Maybe he really did have no reason. But...

But he really had no idea how much that hurt. She wasn't prepared for it herself. It didn't bother him at all, did it? That his girlfriend was a demon, the monsters that had killed her. Had pretended to be her friend, his friend, introduced them to each other... knowing exactly how it was going to end. And maybe it was wrong to lump them all together, but this was a demon that had betrayed him once before. She didn't know, she had no idea what the demon had possibly done to win his trust again, to wipe out everything demons had done to him, to his family, but she had done it...

And it hurt. It was more than jealously...

She looked at him, setting her jaw. "He told me that history was repeating itself. That she was planning to betray you again..." Jess held up her hands, her anger making her irritable. "I don't know if it's true. And I know you won't believe me. I just had to tell you... I couldn't just leave it." She didn't mean to be so short with him. She crumpled back into her chair, her frustration leaving her just as quickly as it came.

"I'm sorry... this was a mistake..." She frowned, her brows knitting together as she stared at her drink.

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

[mynamesnotsammy]

Sam offers another smile as he sip his coffee. This was all too complicated. It shouldn’t be. They may not be exactly the same people as they were, but they had been in love once. He sighed a little as he waited for her to answer his question. He chewed a little on the corner of his lip.

He sat back a little in shock at that news. “Oh. A uh… motel.” He couldn’t help but give a short chuckle at it. It was funny. He’d lived in motels most of the time since she’d been gone. “I’m sorry, it just… it’s strange to hear you say that. But good. I’m glad you’ve found something.” He couldn’t bring himself to say what he was thinking. 

His brow furrowed as her smile fell. He frowned at the sudden change. He nodded as she spoke. He knew there was more reason than just to catch up. She had called him for a reason. Not just out of the blue. 

When she said the name, he tensed up. His eyes grew wider, and he swallowed nervously. “What? Jess…” He leaned back, not sure what to think. There was a possibility this wasn’t even Jess sitting in front of him. He set the coffee to the side. “What do you mean? What did he want…?”  

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess saw his face change and she let out a breath. So he did know. And it obviously wasn't good...

Jess gripped the coffee cup, her foot tapping under the table as she started to doubt herself. She knew already that Roman was not one to be trusted. But his words rang true. How could Sam trust Ruby after everything she had done? Still, maybe he was just trying to break them up, using her as a pawn, making it easier to get to Sam...

"I... I don't know... he just... talked to me. About you..." Jess met his eyes and paused for a moment. She had to know. Had to know he was safe. "And Ruby..." she added quietly.

She kept his gaze, determined to see his reaction. "He... told me things about her, Sam. I know what she is, Sam. What she did. A demon." She had to say it. But she left out the rest of her sentence. Like one of those things that killed me...

And I just... had to know... that you were safe..." She flinched at her own words.

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

[mynamesnotsammy]

Sam knew this wasn’t particularly easy for either of them. Even if she had called him to meet her, he knew it couldn’t have been easy on her coming back to all of this. He felt like he probably owed her an explanation for everything, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to now. 

He nodded at her. “No, not at all. Thanks.” He said taking a sip from the cup of coffee. He tried to relax as he drank the coffee. It was easier as he reminded himself it was only Jess. 

“Yeah. It is really good to see you.” He was glad the setting was different this time. He didn’t have to worry about seeing Lucifer in the corner while he talked to her. He smiled more easily now. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever see her again. 

“Uhm… okay. Better. Much better than I was.” It had been a long time since he’d been able to answer that question honestly. The lie ‘fine’ had been easy, to tell the truth was still hard even when it was almost the same answer. “How about you? Are you doing alright?” He could only hope she had found some way of living. 

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess nods. "Good. I'm glad." She takes a sip of coffee, trying not to think about how easy this would have been if they were still at Stanford. How they'd be laughing at something by now and she would have ordered waffles and he would have tried to take a bite from her.

She cut herself off and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Found a job... at a motel back in Sioux Falls..." Not quite the same as being a nurse but then again she knew she shouldn't be here at all. 

Her smile fell suddenly and she pressed her lips together as she looked at him. "But that's not why I've asked you here... I, um... I have to talk to you. And I hate being the one to say it but..." She really had no idea what to say to him.

Start at the beginning. She looked him in the eye and leaned towards him, lowering her voice. "Someone found me in Sioux Falls. Dick Roman..."

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

[mynamesnotsammy]

Sam had been wary of leaving Ruby, but he knew he’d only be gone a little over a day. So he’d agreed to meet her somewhere between. Making the whole trip to Sioux Falls would take too much time for him. He was still worried about Ruby, but he’d promised Jess he would meet her as soon as he could. 

He took the orange Mustang and hit the road. He didn’t like being away from Ruby, but decided it was probably best to go alone this time. Ruby promised she would be okay for the day or so that he would be gone. He stopped once or twice for fuel and food, but made it to Rock Springs sometime in the early afternoon. 

He was slightly worried about the meeting with Jess. She’d seemed worried over the phone. Not to mention it had been a completely change in opinion. He had watched her walk out of his room. He hadn’t been sure he’d ever see her again. A month later she called and said they needed to talk. He was definitely nervous about this. 

He found the small diner they’d agreed on, and pulled the door open. It didn’t take him very long to find her in the small dining room. He approached the small booth, slightly nervous. “Hey, Jess…” He said pausing a moment awkwardly before he slid into the seat opposite her. 

It was still hard to believe she was really sitting across from him at the table. He was almost afraid it would be like the dreams that he’d had for years after her death. He gave her a weak smile, looking at the coffee she’d already ordered him. She remembered… of course she remembered. 

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

She saw him arrive and took another deep breath, shaking her hair back. There was no need to make this difficult. She had accepted it and moved on from what had happened... that simple matter of being brought back to life...

So she gave him an easy smile as he sat down, as easy as she could make it seem. "Hey, Sam. I hope you don't mind," she said, gesturing to the coffee.

"It's good to see you." It really was. She didn't like that the last time she saw him, he was pale, worn out, in a bleak hospital room. He looked much better now.

It was a shame she had to break all this to him. She swallowed and smiled again. "How have you been?"

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jack and Jill

She'd agreed to meet him halfway. Rock Springs, Wyoming. A diner just on the outskirts of town. She needed a break from Sioux Falls anyway. After what had happened with Mr Roman...

She sipped her coffee as she waited, thinking over what she had to say. She hadn't been able to think about anything else. Mrs Adams had seen how distracted she was and had almost sent her out the door when she smashed a window. Too busy lost in thought while cleaning one of the rooms.

She had to see Sam. He had to know. She'd tell him the truth. Exactly what had happened, exactly what she thought. The trouble was... she had no idea how he would react anymore.

He wasn't the same man she met at Stanford anymore. He'd been through so much. She had no idea how much this might set him off. How much this might anger him, upset him. The first time she had seen him again... he was in hospital... She'd never forgive herself if she was the one that put him back there.

And then there was the whole idea of actually seeing him again in the first place. She had down well at moving on, remembering she couldn't be involved in his life anymore... She didn't want this to hurt any more than it had to.

She sighed and looked out the window, rubbing her hands together as she waited for him. She hoped he wouldn't be long. She had already order for him...

She hoped his drink order hadn't changed too...

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Sweet Tooth

[imaverygoodshot-blog]

Roman had to hand it to her at least she was smart enough to ask that question. “Truth be told, Sam Winchester and I aren’t exactly on friendly terms. But there are much bigger fish out there that I have to take care of. Sam just happens to be a very useful tool in doing so. If there is one person out there that can stop the world from ending it’s him. And he has before. Granted. The last time he did, he was the one who put all of that in motion only to bring it to a screeching halt right before the finale. It was admirable.”

He chuckled. Finally, there was the question. He could see she was getting angry now. Not necessarily angry at him though. Much of it seemed to be aimed at him, but there were other causes. “Well, I’m not a demon. Much older than they are. Therefore wiser. The old testament calls my kind Leviathan.” He pauses. “What I want from Sam is simple. I’m in need of a hunter of his caliber. There are plenty of hunters out there, but Sam is special. I really do believe he can help me with a… pest problem the world seems to be having.”

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess knew Sam had saved the world. But she didn't quite know the details. He had started it too? How? That was another question she had to ask him... It seemed like she would have to see him again now. No matter how painful this was going to be. She just... had to know. He had to know what she was thinking. She had to make him see... or he had to convince her other wise. And that would probably take a lot right now...

She frowned. Leviathan? Wasn't that... fish, or something? "And you need Sam to do your dirty work?" Jess wasn't sure where this was coming from, talking to him like this. She had no idea what he could do to her...

"I'll see him. Yes. But like I said, not for you. This has nothing to do with you. If you want Sam's help find him yourself..." She adjusted the bag on her shoulder, raising her chin once more. "Sorry. We're fully booked tonight..." Then she turned on her heel and walked away, hoping and praying he didn't bring her back...

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Sweet Tooth

[imaverygoodshot-blog]

Humans were so easy to manipulate. It was no wonder Crowley’s business was booming. They’d follow you blindly over any cliff imaginable so long as you said the right words in the right order. Lemmings. That’s what they were. It almost made the demons preferable to humans. At least the demons were smart enough to know a good con when they saw it. 

He could see just how easily he’d gotten Jessica Moore to listen to him. At the slight frown on her face he gave a sad smile. “If there are questions you have, ask me. I’m an open book.” It was clear she wouldn’t trust him completely, but he would get as close to completely as he could.

It was clear that demons were a hot topic for her. She didn’t seem to quite realize that from the moment Sam was six months old demons had been manipulating his life. She was part of that. She had been the ploy of a demon. Roman had done his research on the Winchesters. Castiel had made it quite simple actually all of the information in one place. He really should send that angel a fruit basket. 

He gave a soft laugh. “Do it for what ever reason you think you need to. I don’t care why you’re doing it. I can understand why you wouldn’t trust me. The most important part is that you do it.” 

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess narrowed her eyes. "Why? Why is it important? I don't want to see him hurt, but what does it matter to you?" She didn't think he meant Sam any harm right now, but he definitely wasn't here to help him either. 

She realised how stupidly she had been led along but she couldn't deny that he was right. Demons should not be around Sam. They had controlled his life enough. She crossed her arms as she looked at him though. "What are you?" she whispered. "Tell me. What do you really want from Sam?"

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Sweet Tooth

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess flinched back slightly as he reached out his hand but she let him place it on his shoulder. She didn’t really know what to think. If he did raise her, if he wanted her to do something, why did he leave her for so long? And why introduce himself like this?

But if he needed her, if she had to help Sam, then surely she had to trust him, just for now…

She had no idea what else to do. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t forget Sam… even if he had forgotten her.

Wringing her hands and looking at her feet, she thought carefully for a few moments before looking up at him determined. “But what can I do?” she asked quietly.

[imaverygoodshot-blog]

He had expected her to be wary of him. It wasn’t everyday you had to face the fact that the supernatural existed. Not to mention she had absolutely no idea what he was, or what he could do. He could tell she had many questions. It would be easier to answer if she would only ask her questions out loud, otherwise it would get exhausting trying to find ways to get them from her. 

He could see all of the worry she carried for Sam Winchester. He had to admit it was an endearing part of her character, even if she was right to do so. Sam was one of the supernatural world’s most wanted, and eventually his time would come but that wasn’t the most important part right now. Now, he just needed to make Sam unattached. He knew there was likely very little that would be able to do it. But he knew the Winchester quite well. They’d spent a little bit of time together, and one of the answers was the girl standing in front of him. Sam’s connection to her would be easier to deal with. 

He smiled kindly at her when she asked what she could do. “What can you do? You can help us convince him that he’s in trouble. We know that one of Ruby’s associates is on the lookout for him. This demon looking for him is very powerful and very pissed off. Ruby has worked for her a very long time and when the time comes will give in to this demon.”

His deal with Lilith actually seemed to be coming in as a handy excuse. It was just too bad the demon would be turning the Winchester boy over to him. “You need to help him see that history will repeat itself with her.”

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess listened carefully to his words, biting her lip. She really didn't know if she could trust him. But... but it just made sense. She should have seen it before. Ruby was a demon. That's what they did, they lied. They killed people...

She frowned slightly. Repeat itself? What did that mean? She knew Ruby had done bad things but this seemed more specific... had she tried this before?

Jess shook her head. She had no idea what to think. And she thought she was doing well. Getting away from all this. From him. It would be horrible. Going back, convincing him his girlfriend was using him... again. He wouldn't trust her... he'd tell her it was jealously talking. In the nicest way possible, yes, but it would be something along those lines.

Ruby had obviously done her job well. He was blinded by her it seems, if she could do it to him twice... Jess hated that. The idea of Sam being so easily mainpulated by a demon...

They had killed her...

Jess looked up at Roman with steely eyes. "I can try... he won't believe me. But I can try..." And then she flinched back. "I'm not doing this for you though. I still don't trust you..."

[askbabynatural]

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Sweet Tooth

[imaverygoodshot-blog]

Roman smiled at her sympathetically. Inwardly he was grinning. Oh, now he’d caused quite a bit of trouble for the younger Winchester hadn’t he? He tried not to laugh. It was funny how the truth could actually be so much better at that. The demons really did know what they were doing. The truth hurts worse. Of course he’d thrown in a little white lie. Maybe he could get this girl to trust him. Especially if she thought he was the on that had brought her back. 

He reached out a hand and placed it carefully on her shoulder. More contact it would help. He needed to understand what she was thinking about. He raised an eyebrow. He had to wait for her to finish her question. He could be patient. He needed to play reassuring now. He sighed when she did finally find her questions.

He didn’t answer right away. “Ruby? Ruby is indeed dangerous.” Not actually a lie. The demon was dangerous to most. Just maybe not Sam. Or himself for that matter, but details were unimportant. “She has. It’s pretty widely believed she will again.” Also still not a lie. This game just got more and more fun as it went.  

[differentkindsofbravery-blog]

Jess flinched back slightly as he reached out his hand but she let him place it on his shoulder. She didn't really know what to think. If he did raise her, if he wanted her to do something, why did he leave her for so long? And why introduce himself like this?

But if he needed her, if she had to help Sam, then surely she had to trust him, just for now...

She had no idea what else to do. And no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't forget Sam... even if he had forgotten her.

Wringing her hands and looking at her feet, she thought carefully for a few moments before looking up at him determined. "But what can I do?" she asked quietly.

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