Seriously, there are sooo many people I’d love to be able to drop everything for. And do, when I can. But I can’t always do that.
For example, my wonderful sister in law needed a ride to the ER last week. I would have happily taken her, but I missed her 6:45 am text. Now this seems like just “oh she was asleep”, but it’s not.
A long time ago, I had a friend who constantly needed me.
I am the mom of a special needs kid, and at the time was doing respite care for other special needs families. This was a very, very medically based job including seizure response, gtube feelings, and even patient transfers. This doesn’t even include my flight risks, self injuries behavior kids, or in general the over the top parents (omg). My boss was also fairly difficult.
On top of that, there was a massive forest fire displacing my mother in law, and her horses. We had to care for the horses at a place 30 minutes away. She had to move in with us.
I also had to evacuate families that were in my care.
I had to be “on” constantly, and had to be sure I was able to safely care for my clients.
So, back to this friend. She would text me at all hours of the day, mostly about her absolutely shit boyfriend. And I was there for her. I was constantly putting myself out for her. Replying to her texts at 3am when I had to be up at 6am. Because her boyfriend went and got high instead of visiting her.
So I one night told her that my phone was going on “do not disturb” at night and I’d catch up with her when I was able, because I was exhausted and had to take care of myself some.
Three years ago, my phone went on do not disturb during a certain period of time each night, and it hasn’t been taken off since. That friendship did not last. Shortly after I quit being at her beck and call, she replaced me. And then the next person, and the next. I have no idea who she’s texts at 3am anymore.
Because of her, she ruined it for everyone else.
However, I learned to never, ever be the person who expects one person to always cater to me. I’ve learned when I should silently cry because the battle is my own, and when I should reach out to someone.
blakekathryn
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