Difficult before Easy

A blog about what it's like looking for work as a 28-year old white European female humanities PhD student who is currently living in Graz, Austria.

[difficultbeasy]

Our loss of wisdom

Barry Schwartz makes a passionate call for "practical wisdom" as an antidote to a society gone mad with bureaucracy. He argues powerfully that rules often fail us, incentives often backfire, and practical, everyday wisdom will help rebuild our world.

[guardian]

How young people’s lives have been destroyed by the cuts

If you were to line up every unemployed young person in Britain, they would stretch from London to Edinburgh. Here some of them explain how benefit cuts, unpaid work experience and vanishing career opportunities are wrecking their lives. 

Pictured: Huseyin Kishi: ‘I avoid any occasion when somebody might ask: “So what do you do?”’ Photograph: Martin Godwin for the Guardian

[upworthy]

Why ‘Generation Me’ Might Be The Best Thing That Happened To The World

[micdotcom]

7 ways our parents can be total hypocrites when it comes to politics

Baby Boomers entered the workforce during one of the greatest economic miracles in modern history: U.S. real GDP per capita decreased only two years between 1950 and 1970, and the resulting bounty was distributed rather equitably. We, meanwhile, have borne the brunt of the largest economic disaster since the Great Depression and watched middle-class real wages stagnate throughout our lives.

These class differences have predictably resulted in conflict. The older set has taken to newspapers, radio and print books to denounce their underemployed descendants as narcissistic, lazy and clueless: a “Generation Me” uninterested in hard work. We have responded from our own turf, in our own language, with a new Internet meme. Here are seven popular examples of the striking ways that our parents, or grandparents for some, just don’t get what we go through.

Read more | Follow policymic

[difficultbeasy]

When universities don't hire the academics they churn out...

Last December (2013) I was offered a job. Well, not quite. It was the prospect of a potential job that had to be created and approved first by the Dean's and Chancellor's offices. 

One of my literature professors, whom I have known for a very long time and who, for some reason, thinks very highly of me, believed it would be a great opportunity for me to help edit and publish the latest book he and a colleague had been working on. 

Since I receive a scholarship from the university, I'm strictly speaking not allowed to work for the university. Teaching two classes (max.) is the exception. So I asked the scholarship-person if there was any work-around. He was so extremely helpful and actually managed to find an arrangement that would have made it possible for me to accept a uni-job. 

Unfortunately, in mid January, I learned from an undergrad colleague (and good friend) that they'd given her the job... Well. Unfortunate for me anyway. 

I was slightly annoyed that the professors hadn't told me themselves and sent them an email asking them not to be so inconsiderate and have 'competitors' tell the unsuccessful candidates. I also wanted to know why their decision had panned out the way it had.

Turns out that they had wanted me to have the job but unfortunately, the university can't afford to hire a PhD student for a position that's like 8hrs/week for 6 months. 

Seriously, after having been looking for a job for such a long time, then having a really interesting offer dangled in front of your nose, only to have it snatched away from you is plain mean.

I would have loved to edit that book. I can very well imagine myself an editor and this would have been something to put in my CV. Some proper experience that would propel me in the right direction.

But I find it extremely unsettling that the university doesn't want to hire their own graduates who are currently doing a PhD at their university.

[difficultbeasy]

It's been too long. And sh#t happened.

I have been thinking about discontinuing this blog for a while, which was the reason I didn't write anything. But considering my current situation, I think there's still too much to say about being unemployed as a very well-educated no-longer-that-young person.

After I stopped work as 'runner'/Second Assistant Director, I decided to go back to uni in Oct 2012. Because why not. I still hadn't found a paid job and my parents wanted to get me out of the house. I needed something to do. I'm not all too sure if this was the right decision but back then it felt like the only sensible option.

Soon after I started my PhD, a contact of my dad's let us know that someone in Graz was looking to hire English teachers.

Teaching wasn't really a dream job for me but I wanted to save up some money to be able to move somewhere else. Do something exciting. Have a cushion to find a proper job I'd find interesting and challenging.

So I contacted said person and everything seemed swell. I was going to teach English to Austrian army people in January. Or so I thought.

January came, and I still didn't have a contract. And then came the testing period. I was tested for my teaching skills by my future boss and a bunch of elderly ladies wanting to learn a little bit of English.

These ladies were good fun to work with and I really came to like them a lot. I had time to get to know them, after all, because I still wasn't assigned to the well-paid army teaching job. I had moved to Graz by the end of March 2013, for the job. My boss, with whom I still didn't have any sort of formal agreement, had assured me that I would be able to pay my rent and earn some extra money if I came to Graz. Well, ha ha. 

I did end up teaching soldiers, but only when the regular teachers didn't have time. Which wasn't very often. I had other assignments as well, such as teaching one guy in Gleisdorf ONCE, which entailed getting up at half past 5 to drive there, and then hurrying back to Graz to help out at the army base. Occasionally, I still had the chance to work with the elderly ladies, which I enjoyed greatly. But overall, things hadn't quite panned out the way my 'boss' had described them.

My death-blow was, however, an assignment that required me to work with double-faced idiots. A group of 3 people with entirely different levels of English. I decided to provide them with a general revision of the tenses, and some conversation and writing exercises. I asked them to give me feedback, to tell me if they wanted to do something else. They told me everything was fine, that I was doing well, etc. 

But then I got a call from my boss, asking me what was going on with that English course. The double-faced idiots (you'd agree if you'd read the stuff they'd written and said. And those people/drones had jobs!) had complained to my boss that I was giving them too much homework, that they didn't think I was qualified (pffff) and that they wanted someone else. 

I'm a very nice person. Understanding, patient, and I can deal well with feedback. I don't mind criticism. As long as it's TO MY FACE. I explained the situation to my boss and she said it was alright, she hadn't briefed me properly and that she was going to work it out. And she told me to keep September and October free in my calendar because another army English course was coming up.

Guess what. 

I never heard back from her. Just once, when I'd called her (I think) about the specifics, and she told me she'd call me once she'd come back from her holidays. 

She never called. And I thought F*ck you, I'm not your slave. I didn't have a proper contract, no insurance, nothing.

Basically, over the 5 months I worked, I had earned 200 Euros/month on average. Rent was 300 Euros. So much for saving up money.

And that was my teaching experience.

I'm still in Graz now, still doing my PhD, which feels like an epic waste of time. But at least I get a scholarship, so I'd be stupid not to continue when I get more money studying than working...

[difficultbeasy]

Too insecure for unpaid work experience?!

I've been incredibly busy recently, which is a pleasant but quite exhausting change: I'm currently working at a theatre in Graz. It's unpaid, long hours, and stressful. Basically, my job description would be that of a runner: I run errands for the director, the costume department and the assistant director. 

I got the position because the assistant director is a friend of mine. Forget about the employment office, if you can pester your friends. 

Alright, actually, he asked me if I wanted to help out and I had nothing better to do...

It's fun helping out. I like assisting. 

But it's not ME anymore. I feel like I've grown out of it and can't identify with that role anymore. And since running errands for everyone and anyone is all I'm currently doing, it has pushed me into the shallow ditch of identity crisis.

The other day, I had a break in-between rehearsals, so I went to buy a jacket. Usually, I'm a fast shopper. I make decisions. I know what I want. I get the damn thing and leave the shop.

On said day, it took me almost two hours to decide between three jackets I thought I liked. When I got home with my choice, I was unsure about cutting off the tags, just in case I might want to get the other one after all. (I'm keeping the one I bought. It was a good choice.)

Last time I had experienced anything quite like it, I was an insecure teenager - how mental is that?!

Getting dressed in the morning has become a pain. What am I combining with this pair of trousers and why are all my clothes so grey...?! Where is the cool wardrobe I wanted to have as a person in her mid-twenties? 

And by the way, shouldn't I get a haircut? 

Questions like these always keep popping into my head when I'm constantly tired and surrounded by people who project stuff onto me and treat me the way they think matches their preconceptions. 

It doesn't matter how many degrees you have when you go and ask the prop department for something and they scoff at you for thinking that it was their responsibility to provide that item. Shouldn't you be somewhere else, carrying stuff, anyway?

I used to talk back at people, state my opinion and tell them to go f*ck themselves when they behaved irreverently towards me. Most of the time, that didn't end all too well for me, so I stopped doing that. Also, in this particular instance, it might throw a bad light on my friend, who championed me as the right person for the work experience position.

It would be a valid claim to say I'm simply too insecure. No one settled in their identity would have that sort of trouble adapting to a role that does not entirely conform with who they are.

But after a year of unemployment, after a year of trying to be a writer but never quite getting there, you do start questioning yourself. I brimmed with self-confidence when I got back from the UK. I knew exactly who I was.

Maybe I'm too sensitive to people's moods and attitudes. I usually know quite well what people think of me. Sometimes it's fun to play with that. To surprise strangers by turning out to be quite different from what they had expected. 

But when you're living with parents who basically criticise everything you do, be it major life choices or just small things, like what you like to eat, that's already a bit of a downer. And then going out to work 50-60 hours a week, with people who treat you as a young woman inexperienced in everything, messes with you. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm really grateful for the job. It's exciting to see how things are done at the theatre and I've already learned a lot about what it takes to put together a production. But most of all, I've learned a lot about human nature, and about myself at this stage of my life.

[difficultbeasy]

The Unemployment Office #2

I've been to the unemployment office a couple of times now. 

Complete waste of time. 

Every time I went there, I had a different advisor. None of them had had a look at my qualifications before I came in. They spent most of the time slot alotted to me reading my CV and being apologetic about not having anything to offer. 

Seriously.

As previously mentioned, all they kept doing was telling me to consider taking classes provided by the unemployment office, possibly starting Oct/Nov. 

The unemployment office has proven extremely unhelpful, and only a pain in the arse, so I decided to unregister.

I signed up for a PhD programme instead, starting in Oct. So I'm back in academia, but I still need a job. I just thought it might be a good idea to try to regain some of my dignity. It might not improve my chances on the job market, and the humanities are quite competitive too, but it's way better to do something you like while receiving rejections, than just focussing on job applications and being told you're not right for any position.

I'm not entirely sure where my PhD will take me, but it's definitely not going to be near any unemployment office.

[difficultbeasy]

The Unemployment Office #1

The other day, I had an appointment at the unemployment office. 

Not only was the lady who is supposed to advise me late because of a prior appointment, she also had no clue who I was or what I wanted there. She quickly scanned her computer screen and then told me that if I don't find a job by September, I should consider taking classes. 

The entire conversation didn't last much longer than five minutes. I had been waiting for her for almost fifteen. 

Had I spent that time at home, perusing job ads, it would have benefited me more. 

Has anyone else ever been to the (un-)employment office?

[difficultbeasy]

Some things you need to know about me

After a very long interval of no posts, it is time to continue my ambitious project of documenting my work application progress. In fact, a couple of things have happened and changed since I started planning this blog, but more about that in one of the following posts. For now, I will stick to the plan and reveal a little bit about myself, in order to help you understand my reason for writing about my job search, rather than about something more relevant, like Syria or home-grown vegetables. 

Provided you have read the blog description, you will already know the essentials about me: female, 26, postgrad, living with her parents in Austria. 

But even this very short and simple list of identifiers is not quite as simple as it seems. 

Even though I was born and raised in Austria, there is just something about this country - the way things work here, the way people are - that sometimes makes me feel quite alienated towards everything Austrian. It is quite hard to put the finger on anything concrete but it is most easily explained with an example that also ties in with my age, my qualifications - and my looks.

I am 26 years old;

I've been allowed to vote for 8 years;

have two MAs;

used to have my own apartment and lived in it for 6 years, on my own;

am a bit of a geek but who isn't these days.

Essentially, I'm a grown-up. 

I just don't look it.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sold a teenage ticket for the bus. Hey, I thought, a cheaper ticket - looking young has some advantages.

Last week, I went to a bank to ask if they could change some Euros to a foreign currency and the bank clerk at the counter tried to quiz me about currencies like a school child - stupid f*cking middle-aged white male, impolite as hell, thinking himself charming and funny. 

I've experienced variations of the latter example ever since I was an actual teenager: SOME Austrians tend to treat you with very little respect when you look < 20. You walk into a shop and SOME shop assistants will avoid you because they think you don't have any money to spend. SOME strangers will patronise you for no apparent reason. SOME doctors will think you a complete idiot. MOST civil servants, who are not known for their pleasantness in the first place, will react to a young-looking person’s request with more scorn than usual.

I've learned that his doesn't magically stop once you're 18, or a university student, or a graduate, or a postgrad, because you're not wearing a badge saying "I'm 26, bitches". (Not that I would wear such a particular badge anyway - it's more the sentiment.)

I've also learned that having a registered university degree does wonders, at least in some life-aspects: in Austria, academic degrees are substitutes for titles of nobility. Suddenly, those doctors I mentioned above are much nicer to you because you have the same social rank as them. Even clerks might respect you more. Your title becomes your "I'm 26 and a postgrad, bitches" - badge, at least in official environments.

I am convinced that there is a serious case of ageism poisoning (not just) Austrian society. Especially women are not supposed to be/look too young (as in my case), as you will not be taken seriously, or to be/look too old, as you will no longer be considered 'attractive enough' to be competent. I am quite sure that there is a lot of prejudice against middle-aged women and the elderly (of either sex).

However, discrimination not only based on age but also on sex/gender is still quite wide-spread: companies which do not have a policy to hire more women will probably choose a male candidate over a woman if they both have the same qualifications. And companies which do have such a policy might end up hiring women who are less competent than their male counterparts. Sometimes, males are disadvantaged too. Just not quite as often, and not after a century-long struggle.  

I can only assume that skin colour is an issue too, as well as weight. Chocolate-coloured skin or overweight? If there is a white or slimmer candidate than you, you've as good as lost the race. And that is before you even really started it: Austrian employers demand portrait pictures on CVs, so that they can sieve out the unattractive ones before even inviting them to interviews.

I would like to live in a place where your qualifications and your experience count more than your looks. Some people are not photogenic but they make up for it in personality, and you won't know that if you don't invite them to interviews. I've read somewhere on one of those job-search platforms that people will not hire you just because you sent them such a nice picture but it will give you better chances. They will definitely not invite you if the picture's not entirely pleasing to the eye.

The process of finding a good job can be soul-destroying, especially if you're an idealist. A lot of it is extremely unfair. The competition might be tough but it shouldn't be a competition of looks.

I might be looking young, but I am competent, passionate and intelligent. However, sometimes my passion gets the better of me: I just can’t stand injustice and tend to become a little bit rebellious when faced with it, even if it’s damaging to myself. My way of protesting against employers’ obsession with portrait photos was sending out CVs without photos. I wanted to let my qualifications and my experience speak for themselves. In one instance, I even sent an illustrated CV, to showcase my creativity and Photoshop skills, but no photo.

Maybe I should find a better strategy for voicing my protest...

[difficultbeasy]

Where the heck is your comment box?

once i've recovered my disqus profile/got a new disqus account. i might also get a new email account so that you can contact me in a more confidential way.

[difficultbeasy]

Hello.

Greetings make good starts, so I hereby welcome you to my new blog.

Throughout the next couple of weeks and months, I am going to write about what it’s like looking for work as a white European female humanities postgrad. What is so interesting about that, you might wonder. Let me elaborate:

I am going to document my attempt at not only finding any job, or even a ‘good’ job but the kind of job that will actually be related to my personal interests, my degree, and is at least distantly related to my dream profession. But let’s face it – this task is not going to be easy.

It wasn’t easy under economically stable conditions but now we are going through a recession, brought about by the same generation of people who told us that anything is possible, that there is just the ‘right’ job for anyone willing to educate themselves.

I will investigate the problems involved in finding this ‘right’ job, and question what the ‘right’ job is supposed to be. I will address the many obstacles I will have to face when looking for work and try to get to the root of them: for instance, why does the economy need so many trainee sales executives, marketing managers, data managers, and accountants? What is the deal with portfolios and how do you get one? Why are we supposed to dress business and send CVs including portrait photos?

But I will not stop there.

While I am going to write mostly about my own experience (backed up by research, of course), this is also a forum for you. You can contact me, tell me YOUR story and make this blog a little bit more interactive and, hopefully, generally relevant.

Stay tuned for more...

[difficultbeasy]

If you trust in yourself, and believe in your dreams, and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

Terry Pratchett

[difficultbeasy]

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work.

Aristotle

[difficultbeasy]

I don't like work - no man does - but I like what is in the work - the chance to find yourself. Your own reality - for yourself not for others - what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.

Joseph Conrad

[difficultbeasy]

Work without love is slavery.

Mother Teresa

[difficultbeasy]

I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Jerome K. Jerome