TW/CW : pet death, anticpatory grief, animal death, pet loss.
Chicken: The girl who knows what she wants.
It is so hard for me to believe that as I’m sitting here, watching the slow rise and fall of the breaths in your frail body, that some time tomorrow they will stop. Your heart will slow, and your pain will pass.
It’s hard to fully grasp the idea of you not being here. It’s even harder to grasp that we had to make the call. You are stubborn, and strong for everyone and I know you will push it off to be with us until you physically can’t anymore. It hurts to watch you struggle, the strongest little bird in the house.
Headstrong, taking no shit from anyone. To being unable to hold yourself up. From stealing food off plates to not eating at all. It’s not you, and that’s why we have to help you transition some where that you can be you. You can run and chase things and be as free as you’ve ever dreamed. You have such an amazing support system on the other side already, I’m sure you’ll have your squabbles but they’ll be excited to hear all your stories about us. They’ll appreciate you catching them up to speed. You guys can take turns swapping stories of times before you, and you after them.
It will never feel right. It will never feel like it was the right thing to do, to take the choice away from you and make it for you. The girl who always knew what she wanted. I hope this is what you want. I hope it’s what you need. I can’t begin to image how the first run thru a field chasing a bird will feel. The pain in your legs and your tummy no longer holding you back. Hitting your top speeds, and feeling the breeze that you love so much hit your whiskers.
15 years is no small feat, especially as a little girl part time in the streets. I can’t imagine how strong you had to be, the things you were able to do and see. The life you got to live both with your family, but also out adventuring on your own. You are so intelligent, you are so intune. 6 years of knowing you, 3 years of loving you in my home as my own. It will never be enough time.
I remember meeting you, me with my strong opinions on indoor/outdoor cats. Always checking to make sure you were unharmed, and making a semi secret vow to you that I’d steal you one day. I never realized that one day would come and I’d get the chance to take you in. You have changed my life in such a short time, and you are forever engrained in me. In the rest of the kids. They are going to feel a little lost with out you. I know you are the same age as Tegan & Sahara but I fully believe they all look up to you as their elder.
You have walked along side us, more as a life partner than our baby. You were Ks best friend for 15 years, and mine for much to short of a time. I trusted to leave you in charge and keep everyone else in line. You were doing this life thing with us, in a much different way than the rest. We have so much admiration and appreciation for everything you have done and helped us with.
It is a shame that you only got to experience a little less than one year in our permanent home, but I think I know that might be why you started slowing down. Seeing us happy, figuring it out, settling down. You knew that as hard as it will be, that we will be okay with out you now. That your work here is done, and that’s okay.
New work for us is just starting, and it’s starting with you. You have done all that you can do to help us get to where we need to be, and now it is just finally time for us to help you.
You are so loved. You have left lasting impressions on every soul you have ever met. You are an enigma. You are everything. We will not be the same with out you. But we wouldn’t be here with out you either.
We love you more than you will ever know, little bird. Have so much fun with your wings. 🪽🤍
