Dinner Conversation

although there may be many things within these pages, i only hope at least a few reflect pieces of me.

[dinnerconversation]

that moment you realize that you may have picked the wrong major and are only 21 but feel like your life is already decided and it's too late to turn back now so you'll just suffer in mediocrity and disappointment for the rest of your life?? ‪

[dinnerconversation]

ijustneedsomecompany. 

[dinnerconversation]

i'm not sure what one should do when hearing the words "i love you" isn't enough to make them believe it anymore.

[dinnerconversation]

my love still blossoms anew each day.

[dinnerconversation]

it's the kind of day where i wish i stayed in bed. 

[dinnerconversation]

maybe we are also defined by what we don't do. 

[dinnerconversation]

[dinnerconversation]

i too want to create something beautiful for other people. so to find out i can't is pretty devastating. what if everything i thought i wanted and am working for, isn't at all what i want to do? when did i become so lost? 

how did i not notice this?

[dinnerconversation]

i

   used

           to be 

                    intelligent.

                                    but

                              now

                   i fall for

     anything.

                   and 

                         stupidly 

                                      i fell

                              for you.

[dinnerconversation]

summer is a time for growth, my love grows with you.

[dinnerconversation]

my thoughts are like solid rocks that i'm to weak to break through. 

[dinnerconversation]

i'm the seagull.

a dead rotting old bird 

eyes stitched shut 

stained frayed feathers 

frozen in rigor mortise

destroyed by a dream

abandoned by a hope

a hunted satisfaction

haunting disposition

preserving smell

life without restoration

a shot of a cold bullet

assassinated actress 

[dinnerconversation]

For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, ‘Fear not, I will help you.'

Isaiah 41:13

[dinnerconversation]

when did i become her? and how do i get myself back? 

[dinnerconversation]

i get a little lonely when i'm alone.

[dinnerconversation]

pebble in the water.

with a ripple in the water

a free falling wish

and now i feel so much smaller

a slowly disappearing stone

sight of my face blurs

and now i feel so far from home

with another tight grope

grasp a new stone

now within my pocket

a new sign of hope

[dinnerconversation]

back to the start.

give me a break

or take my breath away

show me some love

and hide all my pain again

pull me into your arms

so i can reach for your heart

end these distant days

or bring me back to the start.