Valathaan held his hands behind his back and looked upon Silvhen, one so prone to folding in on himself like a statue, like a mistake to be tucked away, his eyes more comfortable on the pages of a worn book than another person, watchful. The elder had lent him the tome that sat in front of him right now. The mabari slumbered by his feet.
How do you decide when it’s enough?
Silvhen, always in his sister’s shadow, never thinking he’s what anyone expected–
“Live not for others, Silvhen,” Valathaan said. A heat came up beside him; a hand. The elder was leaning forward, his fingers edging the corner of a page. “As the sun, bright and with fury does she burn; indeed, the moon would appear so small a thing. But when it has set and all the world lost to shadow, what is to light our darkness?” He looked to the young warden, the moon. A ghost of a smile was on his lips. “Never will you be your sister. Yet that which burns in dark burns evermore brilliant.”
There was something about Valathaan that never failed to appease him, his singular essence the likes of the gentle caress of the wind on his back. Silvhen had been immediately drawn to him. His lack of markings ought to indicate that he was removed from the Dalish culture, a city elf, perchance the hahren of an alienage, but he was in fact a travelling keeper. He'd heard of such individuals within the Mahariel clan, but had never seen any wander so far North. It was only once he’d travelled South and joined the Sabrae clan that he’d witnessed this firsthand.
He never asked about it; he couldn’t bring himself to. Inquisitive though he might be, the potential to offend or to invade one’s comfort was enough to stifle his thirst for knowledge definitively. The nature of his travels and of his pursuits in life was far more appealing and intriguing.
Silvhen was apt at reading others, true, yet rarely did he have the courage to stare them directly in the eye. Valathaan's gaze drew his regardless — whether it was an exterior force that guided him or merely the intensity of the man alone, he could not say. When he rose his chin, wisdom stared back at him, propped up by a wave of serenity that beckoned his trust. He was reminded of his first keeper and her compassionate nature.
What Silvhen saw in others, he had difficulty in seeing in himself. It's not so unusual. It was entirely different to observe as an outsider than it was to view him as an entity separate from his own thoughts and doubts and fears. Valathaan saw right through him --- so transparent was he, he almost expected the elder to tilt his head and coiffe his hair.
❝ I’m not … I’m not trying to be her. ❞ His gravelly voice catches in his throat, and he feels like he’s choking up. Ashamed and distressed with the manner in which his cheeks burn up, he firmly buries his nose within the book he'd been handed. His sensitivity doesn’t go unnoticed as warmth clamped around his shoulder. He shudders, and his hound in turn whimpers and whines, concerned for his agitation.
There was an undeniable urge to hide himself behind his twin rather than attempt to establish himself as more than a mere extension of her. Emra had never intended to eclipse him, and placed enough faith in him to push him toward positions of leadership. He didn't want the spotlight, but he also didn't want to disappoint her. It was a never-ending struggle.
❝ Isn’t living for others the whole point? Isn’t that what Grey Wardens are supposed to do, the ultimate sacrifice? ❞ This is what he signed up for, after all. This was the closest thing he'd gotten to proving his right to exist. There was a reason why the wardens were the sole individuals capable of ending the Blight. The why was tenaciously concealed from eager readers such as himself, and he'd never had the chance to question members of the Order itself. ❝ I don't mind if it gives others opportunities they otherwise wouldn't have. I just want to be useful. ❞ And if that means being his twin’s right-hand, so be it. ❝ I know ... I know some people need a gentler touch than my sister’s. I know I can give it to them. ❞
gummygunk
prguitarman
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
tangentwithtanner
