Real Facts About Dirk

[Icon by @tomebreakr]

[dirkfacts]

[peitalo]

been using “my strings” as a mood/energy indicator like i’m some sick puppeteer’s marionette being thrown into turmoil or joy depending. ie “i’m being held up by 2 strings rn” (bad) “i’m fully strung up” (good)

[dirkfacts]

[dirkfacts]

oh whats that over there? a shitty rapper with weeaboo hair. when he sees my raps hell wanna cry. flow so wavy in this tsunami youll die

Di to the Stri from L to the OTAK

These battles stay easy cuz all you do is shittalk

If your flow's a tsunami then the wave's knee high

This weeb'll have you blushing and calling me senpai

Straight from Derse with a verse so clever you can't clock it

Verbal violation stays repeated on my court docket

I'll have you waking up screaming my name in the night

And you'll rue the day you barked at the dog that only bites

[dirkfacts]

[dirkfacts]

Dirk Strider

#Fact

[dirkfacts]

I consider this account canon

Timeline’s doomed but the social media account doesn’t have to be.

[dirkfacts]

A new era begins...

[dirkfacts]

rate decapitation scale of one to ten

[dirkfacts]

Stop calling me “one of the Alpha Kids.” First of all, A/B/O AUs are for people too scared to make the full leap to furry porn and I can’t abide by that loosey-goosey lazy bullshit. Second of all, I would be a beta.

[dirkfacts]

homestuck^2 is gonna b fucking dead for a bit hows it feel

No idea what the dead stuff is all about, but this math question makes no sense. How am I supposed to solve for the value of homestuck if you won’t give me the rest of the equation. All you’re telling me is that the integer is raised to the power of 2, and that’s not much to go off of, dude. Look, I don’t mind if you guys send me your math homework, I know I have some pretty sick computational skills, but I need a bit more info than this.

[dirkfacts]

How it started vs. how it’s going.

[futurama]

[dirkfacts]

[dirkfacts]

omg i missed u where did u go

Well, to make a long story short, I performed a DIY surgical procedure and not all went according to keikaku. But everything’s healed up now, even though I did (sadly) have to remove the silicone horse hoof implants.

[dirkfacts]

Hearing a lot of buzz about this new thing called “microdosing.” It’s where you take a small amount of LSD to improve productivity, creativity, and efficiency. I’ve got a tab here, I’ll just take a little bit and see what happens. Looking forward to getting lots of shit done!

[dirkfacts]

H

[dirkfacts]

Hearing a lot of buzz about this new thing called “microdosing.” It’s where you take a small amount of LSD to improve productivity, creativity, and efficiency. I’ve got a tab here, I’ll just take a little bit and see what happens. Looking forward to getting lots of shit done!