Dirtroaddriver

Hi welcome to my blog. My pronouns are whatevers funniest, aroace. Definitely not 5 racoons in a trenchcoat

[dirtroadriver]

The urge to walk into the fog and disappear only to become a local legend that terrorizes the town, is to strong

[boringkate]

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

[paradigm-adrift]

I don't have a problem with people listening to music per se, but I do have a problem with the music industry exploiting & mistreating artists.

Personally, I abstain from all music in order to keep my hands clean but really music should just be illegal outright to protect musicians from abuse.

[terramythos]

holy shit this person in the notes

[discodyke-dogthing]

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[pineappical]

coward

[yurisorcerer]

been fond recently of saying I know "beings" or "entities" as opposed to "people." Some beings don't vibe with the concept of personhood and I want to respect that. Also, it makes it sound like I know eldritch terrors from beyond our stars. Which is good. Because I do.

[theconcealedweapon]

[gobusto]

saw someone mix up "abysmal" and "abyssal" today, so as a reminder:

her skills are abysmal = she is unskilled

her skills are abyssal = her abilities draw upon the forbidden power of the dark void

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[spacecatdraws]

@ominous-signs

[ominous-signs]

Official nice horsie (:

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

[spacecatdraws]

@ominous-signs

[ominous-signs]

Official nice horsie (:

[sanchomps]

WRATH MONTH NOW

[ominous-signs]

[pukicho]

No one has ever made money

[pukicho]

Okay I feel like maybe you don't like me even at all.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every child should have a specific stuffed animal/toy that they develop an antagonistic relationship with

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

some of my most significant core memories involved getting into heated arguments with the furby who lived in my closet. essential component of my pre-teen character development. necessary anguish

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes small children will inflict years of torment & waterboarding on their victims before burying them in an unmarked concrete grave, that's just part of growing up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the post that keeps on giving (via @zenyeetaa):

#okay we weren’t children when we did this but me and some old roommates kept a baby doll in the freezer #at first it was to jump scare the next person who opened the freezer #but he was in there for a few months and then when we decided it was time to pull it out a bunch of fires broke out across our county #so we put him back in the freezer. we named him chippy and drew a mustache on his face #we tried pulling him out of the freezer a few times after that but some horrible event would happen every time without fail #when we moved apartments we had a special cooler to bring chippy with us #as far as i know chippy is still in a freezer somewhere

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

[the-apocrypha]

other assorted roles may include

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

announcing "Horses!" when there are horses

[lynx-girl]

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

[help-my-ocs-breached-containmen]

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”

Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.

Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—

Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER

[geyfrog]

*puts my hand on your shoulder* Don’t worry, I have your back. We’re gonna turn this crisis into a crwaswas