dirt

mainly reblog post for disabled must reads and just posts to relate to. im autistic, have an unknown cluster b disorder, ocd(?), have fibromyalgia and psoriatic arthritis, and am an ambulatory mobility aid user main blog : vxmpirebites

[cuntess-carmilla]

I think, in an able-bodied world, and most importantly, in a able-bodied medical system, we as physically disabled people have to stop trying to assess our impairments from the POV of our own thresholds of pain, fatigue and other dysfunctions.

I struggle with this a lot as well, but if we're trying to get accommodations and treatments in a system created by and for abled and usually healthy bodies we have to speak their language and it really is a matter of having to constantly translate back and forth.

If I want an able-bodied person to take my state seriously I can't just say "I'm a little tired today". Even if to MY chronic fatigue standards that really is just a little more tired than usual. MY "a little more tired than usual" doesn't look like what an able-bodied person understands as "a little more tired than usual" and it sure as hell doesn't require the same care as what they understand by it... But they're the ones with the power to concede or deny me the level of care or at least basic consideration I do need.

Same with pain. The things I consider to be ok regarding pain and discomfort are things an able-bodied person would call in sick for. Same too with the cognitive dysfunction when I'm flaring.

If we as individuals want to get anything from a little understanding to (God fucking forbid) tangible help for our impairments then we have to start articulating what we're going through in terms they could understand. It's why I tend to tell people to "exaggerate"; because most of the time we won't be exaggerating, we'll be more accurate than we otherwise would.

Don't articulate your impairments to able-bodied people based on the bullshit you're used to on a daily basis, articulate them in relation to what's gonna get you the help you need.

[pyresrpgear]

I saw these pain scales on another post on this topic. It was largely about why for us numerical scales usually do no good because we mentally recalibrate what we are used to as “normal” and then imagine something like getting shot or run over by a bus as a 10 and work down from that.

These have the number scale but also a level of activity/pain that goes along with it, which based on the responses to the other post none of us had ever seen before.

I have all 3 saved on my laptop, my ipad, and my phone so I have them handy most of the time.

[cuntess-carmilla]

Not to be dramatic but this is the first time I see that fatigue scale and I want to cry because I feel so validated, at best I'm usually at a 7.

I can't provide descriptions for the pictures right now because I'm at like an 8.5 in that fatigue scale but I would really appreciate it if anyone reading this could do it for the visually impaired users who might be trying to navigate this post.

[infernalis-crypture]

Masterlist Link

The anatomy of a “narc crash”: what it feels like and what triggers it (and why provoking a narc crash is cruel)

People love to throw around the term “narc crash” like it’s karmic justice; as if watching someone with NPD emotionally implode is entertainment. What they don’t grasp is that it’s not an ego tantrum; it’s an identity rupture. It’s the brain’s version of a full system error.

The Internal Impact

For me, it feels like everything inside suddenly caves in; like gravity turned inward. Rage usually follows, but it’s the kind that leaks through tears instead of a shouting match. I don’t explode; I collapse while screaming.

It happens fast. Sometimes it builds up from stress or exhaustion, but most of the time it’s instant: one word, one rejection, one moment of humiliation. And once it hits, I can stay in that crater for hours or days. Even tiny reminders of the original trigger can restart the spiral.

I’ve learned that physical exhaustion lowers the crash threshold dramatically. When I’m tired or in pain, my usual restraint and control snap much faster.

The Triggers

Criticism and being ignored are nuclear buttons. Feeling dismissed; especially by someone close, hits the core wound that people with NPD rarely talk about: the fear of being insignificant.

Perceived rejection, invalidation, or seeing my own body fail (pain flare-ups, fatigue) can all trigger it. The feeling isn’t just hurt; it’s humiliation laced with helplessness.

The Thought Spiral

When it starts, my mind fills with venom. I’ll think the cruellest things imaginable about whoever triggered it; violent, spiteful thoughts that I never act on but feel vividly. Sometimes, the anger flips and I start hating myself instead.

Anger and shame coexist in the same breath. I can’t separate them anymore.

Afterward, I’ll replay the moment for days, dissecting every word, every facial expression, every perceived slight. Even knowing that’s irrational doesn’t stop it.

The Behavior

When I can, I go silent and leave. When I can’t, I lash out; sharp words and surgical cruelty, I want to hit people where it hurts. I know it’ll make things worse, but the need to reassert control over my humiliation overrides reason.

I recognize what’s happening while it’s happening, but awareness doesn’t grant control. It’s like watching a dam burst and thinking, “ah, yes, that’s unfortunate,” while drowning.

Eventually, I vent privately, distract myself, and try to detach until the emotional noise dies down.

The Aftermath

After a crash, I feel hollow and humiliated. Embarrassed that I lost control. Weak. I promise myself it won’t happen again, knowing it will. Therapy helped me frame it less as failure and more as a protective malfunction; my psyche overreacting to a perceived annihilation of self.

What Research Says

Psychologists call this narcissistic injury or narcissistic collapse; an acute reaction to perceived threat, rejection, or humiliation.

• Kohut (1972) and Kernberg (1975) both described it as a reaction to “narcissistic injury” where the fragile self-structure disintegrates under shame.

• Neuroimaging studies show people with high narcissistic vulnerability exhibit greater amygdala and insula activation when faced with rejection or criticism (Cascio et al., Frontiers in Human Neuroscience, 2015).

• Pincus & Lukowitsky (2010) call it a “regulatory crisis”; self-esteem collapses, and rage or withdrawal become emergency repairs.

It’s not a tantrum. It’s the brain’s survival system malfunctioning under shame overload.

Why Provoking a Crash Is Cruel

Deliberately “calling out” or trying to humiliate someone with NPD doesn’t teach accountability; it shatters regulation. During collapse, we’re not reasoning; we’re fighting to re-exist.

Research consistently links these episodes to suicidality, self-harm, and aggression (Journal of Personality Disorders, 2017). Forcing a crash to “humble” someone is psychological torture. You don’t teach empathy by inducing trauma.

If you want change, what helps isn’t cruelty; it’s containment; stability, calm tone, boundaries that don’t humiliate.

My Reality

My ASPD traits can make crashes vengeful; my SzPD traits make me withdraw completely. Either way, it’s not pretty. The post-crash guilt is corrosive; I oscillate between embarrassment and the cold logic of “this will happen again.”

The only difference now is awareness. I don’t see it as proof of being broken anymore; just a reminder that fragile doesn’t mean fake.

So when you see someone with NPD “lose it,” understand this: it’s not arrogance cracking; it’s a person momentarily dissolving under the weight of their own reflection.

[renthony]

There's a difference between "disabled" and "legally recognized as disabled," and I just want to give a shout-out to all the other disabled people who don't have formal diagnoses, who don't have access to benefits of any kind, who don't have the ability to use even the shittiest and least-helpful resources, because the process of getting legal recognition for disability sucks ass.

And another shout-out to all the disabled people who purposely avoid getting diagnosed, because official diagnoses can be used against you, and you're unable or unwilling to risk it.

[swollenbabyfat]

Happy disability pride month! I use my oc Dia to cope with a lot of my feelings relating to my own disabilities.

Like me and many other disabled people who are ambulant users of our disability aids, Dia can go from using none to a wheelchair depending on the day and walking requirements.

I was very resistant to aids before but they’ve truly changed my life, and I am in the process of getting a wheelchair myself! They have given me more freedom than I’ve had in years, and I’m so glad I use them now.

[nn-ee-zz]

Mobility aids in fantasy!

[artsy-biggirl]

Mobility assistance

[kittensforbrowncoats]

Roll Mobility

Roll Mobility

[arrgh-whatever]

[accessibleaesthetics]

Very Silly Concept: a show called "Accessibility Nightmares" but it's structured exactly like Kitchen Nightmares. An accessibility specialist goes to different establishments and helps them make their businesses more accessible.

The accessibility specialist asks why the door at the top of the small set of stairs has a wheelchair symbol on it. The owner replies that's the accessible bathroom. The camera zooms in on the specialist as they process this information.

A customer with a service dog comes in to a restaurant. The hostess tells them they don't allow dogs. The accessibly specialist looks over at the hostess like

And there are web accessibility episodes too. The accessibility specialist stares at the white text on the light pink background of the home page like

The specialist asks why not a single product picture has alt text, and the business owner says "Well I mean, it's makeup, why would a blind person be shopping for makeup?" The specialist just

The specialist asks the web designer how a screen reader user is supposed to complete the captcha portion of the password reset process when there is no audio alternative. The designer admits they don't know.

[accessibleaesthetics]

#this post has 10k notes to me

When you left this tag three days ago, I thought "that's so sweet, but no. No way this concept is even close to that popular."

[disabled-dragoon]

[ID: Four pictures of Gordon Ramsay in various states of confusion. /end ID]

[kittydesade]

This is it. This is my job. This is what I do for a living. I make those faces and then I tell my uncaring monitor exactly what is wrong with this website and what the site owner needs to do to fix it with all the fucks I can’t put in official work documents sprinkled liberally throughout.

And now I will be picturing Gordon Ramsey when I do it.

[cripinpain]

when the “10 tips on how to make showering easy for disabled people” list doesn’t include a shower chair or a shower/changing table or grab bars etc, i know they don’t care about us physically disabled people.

good for u that turning off the lights and lighting a scented candle instead and listening to music or put on a show and using a bath bomb etc etc helps u but like none of those tips are that beneficial for physically disabled ppl specifically.

it’s good that those tips are there but for once we’d love to be included.

[mundymae]

ACTUAL tips on showering for (physically) disabled ppl:

grab bars or shower chair as ^^^ said

sponge bath or wipes for a quick clean

dry shampoo

sit in the shower

make sure the water isn't too hot, especially my POTS folks! Temp changes make us pass out, reduce your risk of fainting or getting dizzy and nauseous pls

lay down immediately after ur done showering, seriously

no don't get dressed first, give yourself a lil bit

if you NEED to get dressed immediately, do so sitting or laying down in bed

Compression socks after are a GODSEND

This one's also aimed towards POTS folks, have a gatorade or liquid iv ready to down the second you're out

clean bottom to top, because chances are ur energy to bend down will be higher at the start of your shower

for my ppl with inflammation, don't discount epsom salt baths. they're not for everyone but i find them quite nice

for ppl who live with other ppl that they completely trust, and who are afraid they may fall: You don't have to have someone in the bathroom with you, but talk about leaving the door unlocked so they can get to you in an emergency, and let them know when ur in and out of the shower too

my fellow ehlers danlos ppl, the hot water WILL relax your muscles and that WILL result in a higher chance of dislocations during and after showering. Have all available braces at the READY and be extra careful pls

KT tape ppl, take your tape off in the shower or with baby oil. do NOT just peel it off dry skin for the love of GOD

That was way more than 10 tips but I do not care. Have a cookie <3

[yrfemmehusband]

Me in my millionth flare up this year (if I do not romanticize having to lie in bed I will lose my mind)

ID in Alt text

[sunkern-plus-deactivated2024101]

characters i headcanon as ocd part 1

(note: these are just headcanons because i as an obsessive compulsive see no obsessive compulsive characters who aren’t just outright offensive stereotypes of ocd, or don’t even have symptoms i have. the symptom headcanons moreso line up with their personalities. also note, this includes schizo ocd as schizo ocd is on the ocd spectrum, yes, but separate from ocd because of it’s schizophrenia spectrum components)

usopp, one piece: reassurance seeking compulsions and rumination compulsions, and obsessions regarding if his friends like him, if he’s weak or strong, or if people are going to abandon him. his last compulsion is VERY comorbid with his bpd and some days he’s VERY preoccupied with “are people going to abandon me”, which causes his reassurance seeking compulsions to flare up. he sometimes asks the going merry at least 5 times an hour if they still like him or if they’re going to leave him, and before chopper diagnosed him with ocd (and yes, dr. kureha trained him in recognizing MENTAL illnesses as well) he thought he was just an unlikeable freak and his constant reassurance seeking makes people hate him. he’s also (in the obsessive compulsive way in addition to the colloquial way) a compulsive liar. sometimes he just. if someone asks him if he’s done something wrong and he worries they’d get mad at him he will just get these thoughts in his head like “LIE LIE LIE DON’T TELL THEM THE TRUTH HIDE EVERY THOUGHT YOU’VE EVER HAD” and he’ll lie and then he’ll worry that people can tell he’s lying by. well, mind reading. usually people can just tell he’s lying but because he’s usopp, he’s a known fibber. but he still feels immensely guilty if he lies about things that AREN’T related to “i am the strongest warrior of the sea” because like…he feels like he’s done something wrong and he’ll ruminate on that all day. when he ruminates he has to ruminate a set amount of times or else he hasn’t “thought about it enough” and that makes him “bad” and “worthy of punishment” even when he hasn’t done anything wrong. like usopp will think a harmless horny thought that DOESN’T come from ocd intrusive thoughts and he’ll realize he’s thinking a natural thought that comes from having sexual and romantic desires and he’ll be like “oh god i’m a bad person and i’m violating the person with my slutty slutty eyes”. in case you can’t tell a lot of usopp’s compulsions and obsessions are my own because i heavily relate to him.

rufus, street fighter: schizo ocd with rumination compulsions, “just right” compulsions, “being perfect and better than everyone else” obsessions and compulsions, letter, number, and color obsessions and compulsions, and fregoli’s delusion that overlaps with his obsession and compulsion over being better than everyone else, namely everyone else named ken masters. he has MAJOR circumstantiality (literal canon fact, it’s literally obvious in his winquotes) and even with both fluvoxamine and olanzipine (one of the many reasons he’s so big, as both medications can cause an obsession with food and an INSANE increase of appetite, as someone who was on it for two weeks before getting off it because it fucked up my appetite so much) a lot of his psychotic and obsessive compulsive symptoms are nigh untreatable. he copes with both by doing regular cbt and dbt exercises that keep him sane.

[clementimetodie]

recently saw someone's "advice for your 30s" which included something like "never get on the floor without having an escape plan for getting back up" and um. if you are otherwise able bodied and having trouble getting up from the floor in your 30s. you are very unhealthy. yes, even, if not especially, for that age.

[inhaledpie4]

I'll add that if you are having trouble getting up from the floor at any age, you should definitely practice and repeat it as a form of exercise. Yes I am serious, it is one of the exercises I used to do in dance class. Those muscles are important and you definitely don't want them to go away ---- especially if you fall down!!! Most people don't realize they've lost the ability to get up from the floor until years later when they have fallen and are trying to get back up and can't. That's such a scary situation to be in. If you've been chalking up the decline of your physical form to chronic pain related to aging, stop to think about the possibility of it being your body's way of telling you that the bigger stronger muscles are constantly compensating for the smaller weakening ones. And then do something about it. Don't let yourself wither.

[bundibird]

Also!!!! Stand up right now and see if you can balance on one foot for 10 seconds. Then do the other foot.

If you can't, then you need to practice this at least twice a day until you can.

Maintaining your ability to balance is one of THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU CAN DO to ensure your future safety. If your ability to balance is eroded, then your likelihood of being a repeat victim of trips and falls as you get older is SUBSTANTIALLY INCREASED. And with falls, comes injuries. Comes sprains and bruises at best - breaks, dislocations, and hospitalisations at worst.

And when you're older, breaks and dislocations can lead to complications which can lead to severely decreased quality of life, and/or outright death. The number of people who are relatively healthy, but fall, break something, and then never make it home, is a significant number.

So stand up. Right now. See if you can balance on your right foot for 10 seconds without wobbling or grabbing onto something. Then do your left foot.

Practice stepping into your underwear whilst standing. Can you navigate your foot into the leghole without having to sit down or grab onto something? If you're otherwise able-bodied, that is something you should be able to do.

If you can't do it, practice it until you can.

If you can do it, check periodically to make sure that you can STILL do it.

It seems like a silly little insignificant thing, but its a measure of your overall ability to balance, and its literally SO important.

[mentalhealthwarrior]

Surviving Halloween with Psychosis

- The picture test: If you can’t tell if something is a hallucination or not, take a photo! If it shows up in the picture then you have a keepsake of that crazy creepy Halloween decoration. If not it’s a hallucination (or a vampire. No, i’m kidding it’s a hallucination.)

- Is some kid in mask causing paranoia? Ask them where they got their costume. Did they make it? How did they get the idea? Focusing on the person inside of the costume will help you remember that it’s just a person!

- Avoid haunted houses, haunted hayrides, ect. Actors will not stop scaring unless it’s an emergency, and I’ve yet to find a place that teaches actors how to deal with anything other than physical injuries. (I once met a haunted house actor who said causing a panic attack meant he was “doing his job right.”)

- There’s no shame in asking friends and relatives to avoid sending jump scare videos or anything else that could cause paranoia.

- Here are some tips on how to tell if a video is a screamer.

- (from freeasthepaperburns) Boggart it! If something is making you upset, make it silly. dance with the shadows, sing to the creepies, I bet if make a fish face at the scary face it’ll be a little less scary. I know this is harder than it sounds, but I’ve gotten better at it over the time, and find it helps!

Stay safe babes!

[to-reach-the-farthest-star-deac]

SIGNAL BOOST

[its-a-trans-thing]

For any darlings who may need this! Stay safe sweeties! - Mod Naga

[bisexual-bella-deactivated20240]

Boggart it! Yesss I love this advice!

[sockknitterporg]

1. Share this to help people with psychosis.

2. For everyone with anxiety etc, look in the post above for a link to “how to tell if a video is a screamer” that link is helpful to EVERYONE.

[yaniasogames]

linking this since above link doesn’t work!!!!

How to Recognize an Internet "Screamer" Video. Have you ever watched a seemingly innocent video, only to have a very scary face flash onto t

[aropride]

"you're so delulu" "#schizoposting" "narc abuse" "the intrusive thoughts won" "microdosing on delusion" "when the voices tell me to" "she's definitely dissociating" oh my god please shut up please shut the fuck up

[aropride]

you're not "delulu" you just have a crush on someone. "taylor swift is dissociating singing this song look how sad she is" i do not think you know what dissociation is. "the intrusive thoughts won" intrusive thoughts don't "win" that's not what an intrusive thought is. please shut the fuck up

[aropride]

i dont know if my tone is getting lost or if people are just insensitive but this is a serious post. these things are ableist and i promise whatever joke ur making in my notes is not funny and is just ableist and annoying 👍

[drumcorpshero]

Spoopy Season Safety

[massacre-girlypop]

Oh my god reblog to save a me thank you

[cotardkindrome1999]

Reblogging even though it's way past Halloween bc this is an important reminder!

[suotar]

Stay away from anything with charcoal during this season if you are on ANY medication!!!

[disabledvxmpire]

i recently got out of highschool, so naturally i started a job. its only 3 or 4 days a week at a gas station. but i work overnights. which is cleaning and lifting and running across the store. my irregular sleep schedule is causing alot of fatigue and in turn pain.

im always in pain. to the point where i seldom do things i enjoy, even if its just gaming at home. and it makes things so hard to do especially at work. im sluggish and slow.

but when i think to talk about it to someone, or try to, they also talk about how they also have pain. sore feet, back pain. but also that ill get used to it and ill feel less pain the longer i work. but when does that time come? ive been working a month and im as miserable as the day i started.

i cant compare my pain to abled bodied people because i dont understand their pain. i dont know how they feel all day every day. it makes me think, despite being diagnosed with both psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia, am i really disabled or is this how regular people feel. my sore feet have been getting slightly better as the days go on, but today i did absolutely nothing but go to a concert for an hour or so. and here i lay in bed, at 6am, while my entire body feels sore like i have the flu. and i can barely turn over to get my water.

i know i should sleep but i cant stop thinking. is this how "regular" people feel? is this pain normal? how do people push through this. open question btw. share your experiences and insight

[johnlennonirl]

Yesterday the 12th of May was Fibromyalgia awareness day. I'm a little late uploading it, but spreading awareness is being done nonetheless. Lots of love for my chronic pain people!! <3